The world is rather absurd place. Maybe it all makes sense to other people, but I can only gaze upon it all in... yes, what kind of feeling is this? Were I a more idealistic person, it'd be something akin to despair. No matter how much you do to fix it, the pure volume of shit all around you would dwarf any efforts. Well, since that's what I think, that probably disqualifies me for any and all kinds of idealism.

So, if you can't change the world to suit you, should you change yourself to suit the world instead? That's the path most people sooner or later take, after reality has finished stomping all over their dreams. But I can't do that. I don't know how, and I don't care how.

Instead, my chosen approach is something akin to apathy. I don't mean crouching in fetal position under bed and waiting to die. I just do my own thing, and ignore all the unnecessary things. As long as it doesn't affect me, it can go whichever way it goes. That suits me just fine. The problem obviously is how to deal with it when something does affect me, and not in ways I'd care to be affected.

Like the situation I'm in right now.

Let's see. Hot, arid atmosphere, check. Hostile, jagged environment, check. Scant flora and fauna that seems to hate your very existence, check. Why am I in Australia? No, wait. Australia doesn't have this many streams of lava and wailing lost souls. Reassessing. It's hell. I suddenly found myself in hell.

Why am I in hell? Is this because I kept the extra change I once accidentally got? Or because I pirated that one game which I played for five minutes and then uninstalled? This makes no sense, with my life of apathy my moral score should total to neutral. Wait, neutral is technically also lack of good, wouldn't a draconic interpretation default me to hell? As I'm getting slightly anxious about this, someone approaches...

"Hu hu hu~, I see a new face. How do you do and how you like your new place~~?"

We just met, and I already know I'll never understand her. And that's even before I notice her small horns and batwings. Yep, if this isn't a succubus, then I'll be mildly disappointed. And was she rhyming? Please do not be rhyming, that'd be hellish-- Ah.

"Not a talker, eh~? You ought to be, 'tis more fitting for our kind~."

What do I care if it fits you or not. And please stop that sing song voice, its incompability with the surroundings is tad bit uncanny.

"Ohoo~, but don't you have a particularly strong scent of sloth around you~!"

Eh. I guess that makes sense (apart from it being something she can smell) considering my monologue about apathy earlier and everything. So, does that mean I'm in hell because I was too lazy? Seems a bit unreasonable though. But then she drops the real bomb.

"Too bad~ that trait goes to waste~, you're a succubus~ like me after all~."

Ehh?

"Ehh?"

Ehhh? My voice is... sultry? Or as sultry as an exclamation of moderate surprise can be. ... No, I need to stop over-reacting. This explains why I had this heavy feeling on my chest. I assumed it was caused by lava fumes nearby, but it turns out it's just these breasts. They seem real. They feel real. This is sort of relaxing actually. Like popping bubble wrap, just without the existential dread inducing feeling that everything is finite and the last bubble will be popped soon.

"Ahaha, you're acting like you forgot all about me already~! So mean~..."

And I have wings too. Being roughly the size of another pair of hands, they seem far too small to be able to actually generate enough lift to carry my body, even if it is a petite one. But then again, I suddenly woke up as a succubus in hell, so we can abandon all our former notions of sense. I give them a flap or two. I guess anatomically correct-sized wings would be a bother to carry around all the time anyway, so I'm happy enough with this.

"Uuuuhhh~. Don't ignore me~."

Actually, what the hell is with this anyway? Is this infernal version of dead people becoming angels? It would seem either of those concepts existing would cause overflow of angels/demons though. And I'm pretty sure I never died. I was just reading about the 'war' Australia had with emus (Australia had to retreat, emu forces won the battlefield). I think I might have lazed around bit more after that. It's a little bit hazy. Anyway, then suddenly I'm a succubus. Is silently laughing at the expense of Australians a capital offense that gets you immediate banishment to hell? But that doesn't explain the succubus part. It seems I'm not getting any answers by myself, so I need to interact with the succubus who is currently faking sobs.

"Why am I in this place, in this form?"

"Form? Ehehe~, you're weird. What other form would you have anyway~? But may I say, I totally like that too pure to be true look you've got going for you~. Now, just try smiling, okay~? Then it'll be perfect~!"

"No."

"Eeehh~. Whyy~?"

"Smiling hurts my soul. More importantly, why am I here?"

"Umm right, we demons are 'manifestations of wickedness of mortal races', or something~. Basically, enough evil, and pop~, there's a demon, tehe~!"

While origin of demons apparently is that they spawn from negative emotions, that doesn't fit with or explain at all why it's ME that is here. I suppose I better not tell her I was human just 15 minutes ago though. It's possible that she just doesn't know anything anyway, and that actual process has more to it. Like, souls of humans being morphed by this 'wickedness' and spawning as demons here. That might explain my situation bit more, but at this point I can only guess.

"'Tis been seven years~ since my last action. I've been so bored~! But now that you're here, big sis can teach ALL the secrets of being a succubus~!"

I have a feeling she's a failure as a demon. As far as looks for a succubus go, she passes easily, appearing a cheery girl with a hint of wickedness. But it's that fake sing song voice of hers that would put even a complete doofus on guard. If she kept her mouth shut she could pass for a super model or idol. But whatever, I'll ask all I can from her.

"What is considered 'evil' or 'wickedness'?"

"You really ask the weirdest things~! Wickedness is of course the nine mortal sins, you know~!"

Nine? Is that like seven deadly sins plus extra, or are there more differences? She did mention sloth, and presence of succubi means lust is a thing too. But as a brand new member, there's one more thing of importance.

"Do demons start disappearing if the amount of overall 'wickedness' decreases?"

"Ehhh? I've never thought of that! Sounds really scary~, I hope not~!"

Yep, she doesn't know that much. I was going to ask about the lost souls here (since I'm not sure if they are real souls or just some local fauna) when a light beginning to flicker on the ashen ground catches my attention.

"What's that?"

"Oh my~. It's a summoning! Go there and you can go have fun on the mortal world~! I've been waiting for that, you know~. I always just barely missed that so many times~! I was gonna teach you more, but big sis gotta go now. I'll tell all about it when I'm back, okay~?"

While she winks with exaggerated expression, I dash towards the vaning light. As if I'd let myself be tossed into hell and do nothing about it. I want back into the real world, and I want it right now.