It had been a month since Ardlac had acknowledged his misstep with Li and what the cause of it had been. While he still had periods of aloofness, he was no longer unfriendly, and Aricka assured Li that was much closer to how everyone else on the ship knew Ardlac. They were all glad to see him beginning to return to the man they had all known before he'd lost Seith. "Did you have anything to do with this change in him? Garstin asked, his expression and tone bordering on suggestive. A little uncomfortable, Li cleared his throat and looked away, toward another table in the common area where others were playing an animated game of cards and dice. "I pointed out to him that he had been rather unfriendly and unwelcoming," he explained. "That was all. I believe he must truly be a good person, as you and Aricka claim, because he has been much kinder since then." "I'm glad to hear that," Garstin replied. Li knew he trusted his partner more than he had previously, as well. Ardlac was close by him when they took their next prize ship, one transporting supplies to one of Dyrai's colonies. Its single necromancer was no match for Hayel, even after consuming the souls of the full twenty-man crew on their ship. The Gryphon became well-stocked with food and alcohol, both of which Captain Mond assigned to be used by the crew, not sold. The crew seemed to appreciate this, and the first night after taking the prize was filled with celebration. Perhaps it was the alcohol that spoke for Li when he turned to Ardlac moments after returning to their cabin and told him, "I wouldn't object now, if you wanted something sexual." Ardlac looked surprised, but also interested. "Oh?" Li nodded, unsure if he was blushing or if it was the alcohol making his face heat. He hadn't even thought the words through before he had spoken, but it was too late to take them back. "I think I know you better, now." Ardlac smiled and tugged him gently by the hand toward the bunk. Afterward, though it had been Li's decision, he lay in the bunk, staring up at the ceiling of their cabin, trying to understand why he felt used and distressed. Ardlac had not been rough or aggressive or unkind in any way. In truth, he had seemed as though he wanted to ensure it was pleasant and enjoyable for both of them. Still, in Li's heart, he couldn't banish the feeling he had betrayed Ash, even if he now considered Ardlac a friend. "Did I hurt you?" Ardlac asked from beside him. His voice was hushed, but his tone was concerned. Only then did Li realize he was crying. He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't want to offend Ardlac, but he knew his partner deserved an answer. "No. But now I realize this was too soon for me. I feel I betrayed the man I loved and lost before I came here. I thought I could do this with you, but it may have been a mistake. Not because of you. Because of me." Ardlac reached between them and gripped Li's hand. "I feel the same," he admitted quietly, and it sounded as if he was also crying. "The moment it was over and I realized you weren't him I - I'm sorry. Maybe we shouldn't do this again. At least, not for a while longer." Li squeezed his hand. "I agree. Thank you." They both rose and dressed, then returned to the bunk. They lay there silently for a time, then Li, looking for a distraction and for a connection he couldn't define, turned to Ardlac and asked, "Will you tell me more about him?" Ardlac rolled over to look at him. "Seith?" When Li nodded, Ardlac swallowed and took a deep breath. "Mond partnered us when I joined. I had never told Mond I was an Asir. He must have known because of his past interactions with the Asirim and Nairs, but he didn't question me to learn if I had any powers that might benefit the crew, not until later. He simply partnered me like everyone else." He smiled and was thoughtful for a long moment. "Seith was too… full of life for me to tolerate in my first months here. He was always laughing and joking with everyone. I was not myself when I joined the crew, much like I have been since you joined us. He was determined to break through to me. I don't know what he saw that made him decide to try. He included me in all his games with the crew, even if I rarely participated at first. Eventually, I could not deny that his joy was infectious. I don't know when it happened, but I fell in love with him. As I noticed I was drawn to him, wanted to spend every moment I could with him, my powers started to return for fleeting moments. Finally, the night we confessed how we felt about each other, kissed, and made love, the powers came back in full force." Ardlac wiped a hand over his eyes quickly. "I should have known, on a ship that fights necromancers and pirates, and takes prizes from enemies, that I could lose him, and that losing him would also mean losing my ability to be connected to him after his death. But I saw other partners who had been on the Gryphon for many years and I expected to be like them. I did not expect someone so joyful and full of life to leave life so quickly after we had found each other. I truly should have known better." He took a deep breath and asked, "Will you tell me of yours?" Li took a deep breath himself. He didn't want to speak of Ash, but he knew he owed Ardlac his story now that Ardlac had told him his. He recounted how he began work at Ash's estate to help with keeping the accounts and how they fell in love, how cruel and demanding Catanere could be, and how Li saw the pain it caused Ash. "Your customs confuse me," Ardlac commented. "Why continue on with someone who is so clearly incompatible? In Nairiume we do not bother with this custom of marriage that so many other cultures have. If two or more people wish to form a relationship they simply do. Some last a lifetime and some only a short time. It depends upon those involved and their own motives and desires. The only binding custom is the legal expectation that parents will equally provide for any children they have, regardless of their relationship with each other. Only a contract drawn up before the courts can release a parent of such an obligation and place it on another. There is nothing to bind any adults to each other, though many celebrate their relationships in ways that may resemble weddings, as I've heard weddings described." "In truth, I don't know why marriage is a custom," Li admitted, considering it for the first time. If Mahlon was more like Nairiume in regards to such things, perhaps it would have been easier for Ash. Perhaps he never would have been with Catanere at all. He shook that thought away. "Their marriage was arranged by their parents," he went on. "It isn't a terribly common practice, arranging marriages, but when it is done it's typically by the wealthy. Ash's father was dying and wanted to know the business would continue through Ash and his children. Ash agreed to the match, he told me, because Catanere was friendly and kind when they had been introduced. He did not have the time to get to know how she truly was until after the wedding. He did have grounds to end the marriage, as they had been married five years and all attempts for children had failed. It was when she found out he had begun this process that she killed him and blamed me for the crime." He told Ardlac every detail of that day, and was surprised when Ardlac grasped his hands comfortingly. He told about his trial, Captain Mond's disbelief that he had not been granted a truth-knower, and his transportation to the coast to join the Gryphon. "I'm sorry I was so unwelcoming," Ardlac said quietly. "Perhaps we would have understood each other better from the start if I'd been open in why I felt so terrible. It is comforting to know someone else understands the pain." Li nodded and wiped his eyes. "It is," he admitted. "But I would not blame you for not wanting to speak to a stranger. I wonder, though, if this guilt I feel is because he does not want me to be with anyone else, to find pleasure with anyone else." He stopped before mentioning what the Dreamer Xeliact had told him about loving again. He was not looking for that with Ardlac, only physical comfort. "The guilt is yours only," Ardlac assured him. "It is terribly rare for the souls of the dead to demand such loyalty after they have left the living. Even those who most jealously guard their lovers in life typically change their understanding after death. Death brings greater wisdom. Those who still do demand such devotion cause changes in the living due to their continued haunting of them. The living person becomes cruel, abusive, and often terribly violent, which ensures no one ever bonds so strongly with them again. Typically, the spirits of the dead visit their living lovers and families, maintaining a frequent presence around them, but they do not seek to control. They seek to communicate, though typically not in obvious ways. Only the Asirim can truly interact with them as if they were still living, but they remain close. You feel guilty because you love him, and he is often near you, reminding you that he loves you. I can't sense him or speak with him without my powers, but I know that to be the truth." Li felt more tears prick at his eyes and he swallowed. "Thank you," he said after a moment. "If you don't mind my asking, if the Asirim have such an understanding of souls and death, why…" He wasn't sure how to finish his question without offending Ardlac, and almost told him to disregard the question, but Ardlac spoke before he could. "Why do we still mourn those we love after they have died?" he offered. "Because it is not the same. Even if their soul and spirit are near to us, we can't touch them or converse with them for long periods. Communicating with the living takes great energy, and the dead frequently return to the Spirit Realm to rest. And with my powers gone, it is even more difficult. They left me because I knew I would no longer hold him in my arms or play games in the common area with him. And now I know he is near me, but I can't communicate with him." Li gripped Ardlac's hand. "I wish I could help," he said without realizing the words were coming. Ardlac forced a smile. "As I said, it is comforting to know someone understands." With that, they both lay quietly, mourning their own losses, until the watch bell sounded.