I woke up the next morning and put Ulther in charge of harvesting bug gunk. “You know, I think you need a new name and we need a team name.” I said. Ulther just gave me a look.

“You could be Hack, while I could be Slash. Hack and Slash. What do you think?” I asked. He clearly did not appreciate my morning humor. I would take honesty over a false laugh any day of the week.

“I have bug gunk to scrap off. Why do you need this stuff any ways?”

“Okay kiddo, first lesson. Being prepared gives you options. What happens if a bear comes after you? What do you do? Those were rhetorical questions, which means don’t answer them. If you had a pouch of this Luna Moth powder then you could throw it in the bear’s face and escape or even kill it.”

“So you collect this powder to kill more things.”

“Ahhh no, yes, kind of. This powder will give me choices in how I kill things. That is what is really important. Preparedness is half the battle.”

“What’s the other half?”

“Stabbing and witty banter, without the witty banter.”

“What is witty banter?”

“It is where you say things to annoy someone, kind of like what you are doing right now. Only two people talk in the middle of a fight. Over confident bastards and dead idiots. Don’t be either. If you fight, fight. Only talk if it gives you a clear advantage. That is lesson two. No more chit chat, we have quite a lot to do today.”

With the powder done I began teaching Ulther how to read out of the book I had taken off the priest. I had him practice scribbling letters in the dirt as well. I was glad I had put the book inside its own satchel to keep it protected from the rain. We worked on letters all day, taking a break every hour or so for Ulther to eat some more poisoned bread. Thankfully he developed an immunity later on in the afternoon. I also took the time to double check the barrel to make sure it hadn’t sprung any leaks. I had been careful carrying it into the forest and it was a key component to my plan.

I left the barrel with Ulther and had him stay alert. I then went and aggravated five different Ents, making sure they were all the smaller kind. I kept leading them around for over an hour until night fell. When they began to get sluggish I tried to pull them to my camp as much as possible. I then had Ulther intercept the Luna Moths that would come to our camp while I collected Ent sap.

It was incredibly dark and extremely frustrating to scrape sap into the bung hole of the barrel. By the time mourning came, there were five dead and drained Ents. A barrel only two fifths full and I was exhausted. Carrying the barrel back to camp I made sure I had no more sap on me. I washed everything three times and wiped down the outside of the barrel.

I put Ulther to work on the moths while I rested.

I felt a kick in the side and was instantly awake. “No, no, no. I wouldn’t try that.” I had been reaching for my sword but a boot rested on my arm. “Move your hand away, slowly.” I did that and looked around. There were five players in dark outfits standing around us armed to the teeth.

“You know, it has been a pain in the ass to find you Kenji Shadowen, or should I call you Rain of Blood. I was for just killing you, but the one thousand gold piece bonus for bringing you in alive was too much to pass up. On the other hand if you blink or do anything we will kill you and the kid.” All his companions were silent, well trained.

“Yes, we are the Order of the Phoenix. I know, hilarious right. The red and gold will come after we take your player torturing, serial killer ass in.” I just looked at him not even daring to speak. I knew the type, if I spoke out of turn there would be trouble. He smirked at me easily reading my thoughts. “I see you understand the situation. Now before we go through your stuff are there any traps? Mind you I am tempted just to chuck it all away, but I hate to waste things.” I remained silent. “You can speak.”

“Thank you. There is a bag of poison powder. I will confirm it if I see it. I have a knife in my left boot and in my vest.” I had left out quite a bit, but those would be my opportunities.

“Yea… no. I think just like you and I know you probably left a lot out based on how much you told us. The knife in your boot, come on everyone has at least one. The kid was working on the bag when we arrived. The knife in your vest is probably trapped as well. What to do, what to do….ah the kid can sort through everything while we watch him. Vanessa, come here and keep your eyes on this one. If he so much as twitches, sneezes, or even passes gas cut his throat.”

“May I talk with you while this happens?”

“Of course, this is a looting not a fight. Honestly taking the kid with you? What is up with that? Hey Roger put the kid to sorting the pack first.”

“Just a long term plan, you already have allies. I wanted to gather some of my own. You wouldn’t be open for teaming up?”

“Honestly, yes that would be pretty cool.”

“I sense a but in there.” He gave me a smile.

“Rain of Blood and all your other videos out there make it clear that you are not to be trusted. Sure we team up, but you would kill us all in our sleep just because you could and for the very fact that we got one up on you.”

“A trade then, you spare me and I give you the city of Breckley.”

“Oh your balls are the size of boulders! You take Breckley, that is insanity. That city is a fortress inside a bunker, behind more soldiers than I can count in a day.”

“I was going to take out the city in about fifteen days, well not the whole city but just the parts that are out for my blood.”

“Damn you are good. I am tempted, you have the devil’s own tongue. Unfortunately I believe in Lord Breckley over you. He has that pesky thing called honor.”

“Very well. I wish to take a piss. I am sure you do not want to cart a piss smelling prisoner back.” A second sword was put to my throat.

“Place your hands behind your head and no sudden movements. I would tie you up, but that just leads to a false sense of security and we don’t have chains.” I stood up and slowly walked off to the side. “Stop, no further. Me and my group like to keep an eye on each other if you know what I mean. You can use your left hand only, try not to fumble.”

“Thanks.” It was hard to bite back the sarcasm. My counterpart just grinned. I moved some clothing and relieved myself. Both swords were still right up against my neck. I finished up and put everything back. Still no opening to act. “May I eat and drink while my pack is looted?”

“Over by the fire pit, sit. Roger has his food and drink been cleared.”

“Yeah boss, made the kid eat some, no issues.”

“Alright then, took a week too long to track your ass down. I am not touching your food but you can eat and drink it. Roger tossed a canteen over and a loaf of bread. I let them smack off my face and didn’t catch them. “Too clever for your own good. Yes you can pick them up and eat and drink. I honestly have to respect your self-control, a true gentleman.”

“Thank you. There is no reason to act uncivilized when faced with hardship if one is not fighting. What is your name by the way, so that all my viewers may know who defeated me?” I picked up the bread and bit of a piece.

“Well since you didn’t use your little name and level trick, I will tell you Roberts. No last name for you though. Your viewers can just speculate on my mysterious nature.” I picked up the canteen…YES! The one I had filled with Ent sap on my last journey. Thank you hard leather flasks disguising what was in it.

“A good name, I was just thinking about a movie where there is a long line of pirates named Rogers or was it Roberts.”

“Ah yes, well I only have five fingers.”

“A shame, this would get triple the view count if you had six.”

“Make sure you catch my dashing side.” I gave a small smile and brought the flask up to my lips. This would require precise timing. Rogers had stepped back a bit to watch the whole camp. Vanessa was behind me and to my left with her sword pressed to the side of my neck, resting on my shoulder. Rookie mistake, never let your enemy know where your weapon is.

Roger, not to be confused with Rogers was across the fire pit watching as Ulther pulled things one by one out of my pack. The other two were standing at least twenty feet away with arrows nocked in their bows.

My hand darted up and grabbed Vanessa’s sword and yanked with my hand wrapped around the blade. With my other hand I tossed the partially full canteen into the fire pit. Finally I turned my head and sprayed all the nasty sap in my mouth over Rogers. The canteen exploded in a giant pillar of flames. I was prepared and had already brought my right arm over my mouth after using it to throw my canteen. I ripped the sword out of Vanessa’s hand as she stumbled back from the explosion. Rogers clothes caught on fire from my Ent sap spit and the exploding fire pit lighting them on fire.

I stood up and swung the sword at Vanessa. The edge of the blade hit her in the neck and the blade bit deeply into my palm. I let out a breath and looked at what was happening. Rogers was running around screaming, didn’t the idiot know stop, drop, and roll. Apparently not. Ulther had managed to grab the bag of moth poison and had thrown it up in the air paralyzing Roger.

That left the two goons who seemed to be in a state of shock as they watched the flaming Rogers run around screaming. Less competent, so he put them at the edge of camp and not looking over us. I reached down and pulled out the sword that had been in Vanessa’s neck. I raced for the nearest archer. By the time he realized how much danger he was in I cut through his neck and there was a rain of blood over me. “Fear Aura, one minute.” I then rushed the last archer. He got off a shot, but it went wide. One swipe of my blade and it was over. I walked over to where Rogers had collapsed and stabbed him in the back of the head. I then went over and did the same to Roger.

Idiot should have just killed me. It was easy to figure out he wanted his thirty seconds of fame, the curses and benefits of being a celebrity. Ulther appeared unhurt but a bit singed. I located the bandages and wrapped up my hands. “Tough shit.” I said.

Ulther just looked at me. “Yeah, who were these guys?”

“Other travelers, Lord Breckley is out for blood. Come on let’s clean-up this mess.” Two of them were seven levels below me. Not a lot of experience, but the experience didn’t really matter.

Cutting Weapons-5 MAXStright throughLvL 1: You understand the basics of cutting weaponsLvL 2: You understand the theory behind cutting weaponsLvL 3: You understand the limits of cutting weapons, +1% DexterityLvL 3: You understand the limits of cutting weapons, +1% DexterityLvL 5: You are a master of cutting weapons, +1% Constitution, +1% Strength

Power Slash-1My sword is betterLvL 1: 2x Attack Damage for a single attack with a cutting weaponCost: 500 SP

Player Killer-9No mercy+1% Constitution per LvL

I was really tempted to use my new technique but held off. Sorting through their corpses took time but I found a wanted poster with Vanessa. It had a crude drawing of my face.

WANTEDKENJI SHADOWEN3000 GOLD DEAD/4000 GOLD ALIVEENOLBLEMENTFor the following crimes:

Massacre of Willhelm

Battle of Gloommore Forest

Murder of Sir Regent

Unleashing Swarm Bulb upon Mendal

Murder of a priest of the EightAppearance:

A small man with white skin and red eyes.

Appears to be five feet tall.

I am in a war, how is that murder for Sir Regent. Stupid propaganda. I pocketed the poster in my satchel. I liked to collect one thing in game. Nothing big, heavy, or even valuable, just something unique. I was going to collect by bounty posters. If I ever got a lair they would make for great decoration.

We got rid of all their food and washed out their canteens thoroughly. After cleaning up the camp it started to drizzle to make things even more annoying. We tossed the bodies in the fire pit, but now they were just smoldering. It went from a long night to a long morning and then a miserable afternoon. We scavenged any wood we could find. I also dipped a branch into the barrel and tossed it into the fire pit to get the fire going again.

The rain continued all night and no moths came. The rain kept up the following day, but there was nothing we could do. Horsey the Third was taking everything in stride as he munched away on various plants. It was all we could do to keep the fire going. At least the corpses had burned away.

Moving to collect more wood was the only thing getting us away from the fire. I resorted using my new technique to cut up some larger logs to haul back. I noted that one attack cleaved about a third off my SP. That was a brutally expensive technique.

The rain finally quit during the second night and seven Luna Moths attacked. Ulther made short work of them and we went to sleep next to a roaring fire. The following mourning we got up and Ulther worked on collecting the moth poison while I dried things out by the fire. I wasn’t too worried about anyone else finding our camp too quickly. With all the rain it would be while before anyone managed to get this far out. Also the group that had just attacked would be scattered all over the world, while one might be back in the area they wouldn’t be a threat.

I rested most of the afternoon while Ulther worked on meditating. I was going to make a battle mage out of him yet. Late in the afternoon I rounded up two small Ents and then got a larger one. By the time they finally stopped chasing me I was almost out of SP. I then carried the barrel over and got to work. The large Ent was a pain to cut into, but once I did it was bursting with sap.

The barrel was a bit over four fifths full along with a couple canteens. I plugged it off and confirmed the Ents were dead. Happy, I returned to camp and went to sleep as the sun was coming up. I woke up a bit past mid-day. I spent the afternoon exercising with Ulther and working on his reading skills. He handled the Luna Moths again that night and I let him keep a sword of his own as a reward for working hard.

After breakfast we set out to the north and east. My plan was to come out near the forest by Willhelm and then proceed to Breckley. I had been scouring for any information online about the city and found out that there was a large river flowing down into the bay from the northwest. It was a matter of slipping into the city and pouring the sap everywhere. The river also connected to the sewer system under the city. We would enter the sewers lay the barrel near the central keep, and boom!

That was the other weird thing, as long a person started the majority of a fire they would get credit for the kill. The amount of fire this barrel would cause would be epic. I had done the math and estimated that this much sap would cause a lot of damage. That was my professional opinion on the matter.

I pocketed a bulb when we came across one and had Ulther work on resisting inhaling the spores when we stopped for the night. During the days I quizzed him on the alphabet, spelling, and math. It took four days of traveling and we only ran into slimes and bulbs, nothing super dangerous. We came out fairly close to where I had wanted to end up, a bit further south than I would have liked, but close enough to Breckley. We had passed a couple of roads but ignored them.

We continued on through the forest for another day until coming to the river. It was over fifty feet wide and had a swift current. I got to work chopping down and carving out the inside of the tree and branches. The plan was simple enough. I would carve out the bottom of the tree and float into Breckley with the sap barrel, both of secured under the tree. Ulther would rent a room at an inn in the city next to the river. From there he would scout the city while I plotted.

It took a week to carve out the tree and thankfully no one stumbled on us. I knew the road ran close by, so I bet most people just followed the road and didn’t bother to go by the river. Sometimes a boat would sail down, but Ulther kept a lookout up stream while I worked. I got my first crafting skill, wood carving and pushed my medium conditioning up to level two as I whacked away at the tree.

Luckily the sap and barrel were only a fraction lighter than water so it didn’t push the log up. In the event I got washed out into the ocean we would meet back here in one week. After two weeks the assumption was that I had died. Ulther went on ahead to get a room in the city and do all the preparations I had instructed him to do. There was a lot of trust, but I needed to take the chance if I was going to work with him. When it was fully dark I pushed off into the river.

Where the water flowed past the walls, there was a long chain that could be lowered. In addition soldiers were keeping a look out for any intruders since a number of other players had tried sneaking into the city the same way I was. I stayed on the side of the log and tried to keep me near the south bank. A rope was looped over my chest to the barrel of sap, which in turn was tied to the log with only a single cord ready to be cut loose.

As we neared the walls, I ducked under the log into the area I had carved out for air. Through the crack I had put from the cavity to the top of the log I saw light being shown down over the log and shouting. I couldn’t make out what the soldiers were saying. I felt the log sway a bit and grew worried.

***

River watch duty used to be a pretty cushy job before the stupid Travelers showed up. Samuel let out a sigh as he checked over a large tree that had fallen in the river. There was logging to the west and sometimes a tree got carried away. He double checked to make sure no Travelers were hiding on it and then let it go by. Used to be you could sleep through the whole shift without a problem. The last person who was caught sleeping got five lashes. Stupid Travelers ruining a good thing. Time to get back to standing around.

***

I freed the barrel and began pushing my way towards the shore as hard as I could. It was exhausting but I managed to grab onto a dock and pull myself up. I lay there panting and exhausted. After a minute, I turned and hulled the barrel in. I looked around, but there was no one out past mid-night. I undid the rope and waited.

“Hey there, you know there is a curfew in effect.” A soldier was walking up to me while his two friends hung back. I was really glad for the hat I took off the group that had ambushed us. Hopefully it would keep my more memorable features hidden.

“Sor..ry, just had a bit too much to drink and fell in. You…you don’t know where my…money went do you?” The soldier let out a sigh and pushed me off of him.

“You can look for it in the morning. Where do you live?”

“Just over there.” I began to point, when I clutched my stomach and bent over. I quick finger to the back of my throat disguised as a hand wave and half-digested bread and jerky went all over me. I heard the other two soldiers giggling.

“Why don’t you come down here you two, stupid curfew and drunks. Clean yourself up in the river again, we will be back in a bit and you better find your way home or else.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah, get a move on.” The soldier walked off to join his companions who were laughing. I moved back over to the river and the soldiers went back to their patrol. I stared up and down the bank. I heard a noise behind me and spun.

“Its me Ulther. Ummm, password is old bread.” Old bread meant he was in the clear and all was good. Tough jerky, meant he had been caught and the soldiers were using him to lure me out. I grabbed the barrel and hefted it on my shoulder and quickly followed Ulther as he led me down the streets. We avoided the narrow allies, probably because he only had an afternoon to get a sense of direction in the large city. Soon we had reached our destination.

It was a ramshackle building. He swung open the door and we entered. One flight of stairs and Ulther unlocked the door to our small room. We entered. I set the barrel in front of the door way and Ulther set his lantern down off to the side.

“I rented out the other three rooms on this floor like you said. Had to pay double for no questions asked. One week came out to seventeen silvers. There is a spare set of cloths over there.” He gestured and I was quickly changing out of my wet and barfed on rags. “There is a kill on sight order for all Travelers that don’t have a pass from Lord Breckley, everyone is being questioned.” Expected, but annoying.

“The keep? Lord Breckley?” I asked.

“The walls are fifty feet high and soldiers are covering every inch during the day and probably the night as well. Also prices are increasing. With the travelers causing chaos everywhere, food is having a hard time reaching the city, so everything is incredibly expensive. Cold stew on the table.” I nodded and began scarfing it down.

“All right, what about a map?”

“Three gold pieces.” I cursed to myself at the cost.

“Alright, we go to sleep in shifts. You sleep now, then when it is dawn I will sleep. We will act three days from now when our friends arrive. Get some sleep.” A bluff in case anyone was listening. Ulther and I had already worked out what we were doing in advance.

We passed the day hold up in the inn. Ulther went out once to get some fresh food. Everything else remained quiet. This was a desperate attack, but if it succeeded, well it would be amazing. We waited until deep in the night. We then crept down to the first floor. Ulther was carefully checking for ropes or other traps as I carried the barrel.

He pointed to a small string that disappeared through a crack in a nearby room. We both stepped over it. I set the barrel down and entered the room. An old pudgy man was asleep in his bed. The string was tied around a block of wood next to his head. Crude but simple. I lit the lantern by the bead side. I then covered his mouth and pressed my sword against his neck. He woke up struggling but quickly stopped as I pressed steel to flesh.

I whispered, “I am going to lift my hand and you are going to tell me where all your money is, if you don’t then this sword will make short work of you. If you had over the money, you just get a bump on the head and your life. Quiet now.” I lifted up my hand and he took a few heavy breaths.

“Under a loose floorboard over there in the corner.” I slit his throat and he was dead in seconds. I carefully checked the floor and found the loose floor board. I used my sword to slowly lift it up while I covered the opening with a blanket in case of a trap. Nothing happened and I moved the board and blanket out of the way. The money pouch only had ten silver in it, which was way too small.

I checked in the opening under the floor with my dagger…success. I got the blanket again and used it as a shield as I pried a loose piece of stone away. I reached inside with the blanket and found a needle poking against it and a second bag behind the needle.

A triple bluff, what an idiot, but I honestly didn’t think Wisdom was his strongest stat. I took out the bag, heavy. I moved it into the glow of the lantern. A bunch of gold and silver, greedy bastard. I handed off the larger money pouch to Ulther. Next I opened up the barrel and dabbed the blanket into some of the Ent sap. I closed the barrel back up. Ulther had already left, the only tricky part for him left to do was to get to the other inn where he had rented a room for just tonight.

He would pick up a map tomorrow along with a number of other supplies and meet at our rendezvous point. The hard part was up to me. I lay the sap blanket in front of the door way and then threw the lantern at the far wall. As the fire began to spread I closed the door. I picked up the barrel and quickly left the inn.

It should take a couple of minutes for the fire to reach the blanket. Also if anyone opened the door the blanket they were standing on would go up in a blaze. That gave me an idea. I set the barrel down and ran to one of the soldier patrols I saw outside the inn. “Help, there is a fire in the inn. The inn keeper must be an idiot or something. I heard shouting, his daughter may be trapped.” The soldiers quickly followed me into the inn. The glow of fire clearly visible from inside the room, through the cracks in the wooden walls..

As the soldiers moved forward, I stepped back. When one of them opened the door I was already ducking back out of the inn. There was a whoosh coupled with screams as the entire inn went up in flames. “HELP! HELP! FIRE!” I shouted out. People came pouring out into the streets in their night clothes carrying buckets. Soldiers rushed in to help the bucket chain from the inn to the nearest well.

In the confusion as they tried to sort things out I slipped away and got back to the barrel. I carried it as quickly as I could down some alley ways. Finding a secluded corner with a pile of trash I opened the barrel back up and poured about a tenth onto the trash. I sealed up the barrel and carried it away. I then lit up a torch Ulther had purchased the day before with my striker and then tossed it down the alley way onto the garbage.

There was a whoosh and the fire was taking off again. I raced away carrying the barrel. I repeated the process once more and then started making my way to the keep. I got a couple strange looks running around with a barrel but no one stopped me, thank goodness. The trick was to act confident and ignore them. I was one row of houses over from the keep. I opened the barrel back up and laid out a trail of sap through the alley, on the side of the houses. While the first floor was stone, the higher floors were wood and there were wood support beams. I looked out of the alley way and saw soldiers rushing out of the keep to help with the fire. I gave the barrel a hard kick and it rolled next to the gate.

A couple of soldiers looked at it but rushed on. I was already retreating as I pulled out my last torch. I lit it and then tossed it into the trail of sap. The entire alley way caught fire. A second later there was a loud boom. I raced to the explosion and other people in the nearby houses were exiting as well. It seemed every bell in the city was clanging as people ran about trying to deal with all the chaos I had just caused..

The gate house was in flames and soldiers were running about screaming. Some of the locals tackled them with blankets in an attempt to put out the flames. I noticed one soldier standing in the back and off to the side in a state of shock. I came up behind him and in one swift move I stabbed my dagger into his ear and put my hand over his mouth.

Everyone’s attention was on the raging inferno in front of them so they missed me moving the corpse into a nearby alley way. It took two minutes to remove the soldiers clothes and swap them out with mine. I double checked to make sure everything was correct. I wouldn’t survive any type of real inspection, but I was hoping that the chaos would blind people to the true attack.

I returned to the street and I saw the fire had spread to the nearby houses which everyone was frantically trying to put out. The trail of sap in the alley had also taken root in a couple of locations. Things were getting out of hand. At least Ulther was in a part of the city that wasn’t a raging inferno.

I saw one of the shop doors open and entered. Some sort of bakery. I made my way upstairs, no one, they were all out fighting the fire most likely. Perfect. At least these houses had small glass windows I could look out of. I picked the bedroom overlooking the street and let myself doze off.

***

HolyMan: Ahhhh, stupid idiots

Ramponator: That is precisely you don’t talk with prisoners

TheBrain: Or give Rain of Blood any openings

6996: What a beautiful rain

KilluaXXX: I hope you mean the blood, not the rain rain, that was depressing

UltimataSecret: The real question is, where is his Luck coming from

PedoBear9000: From the souls of crispy players

FuriousGhost: Ahhh you asstwits, how could you not kill him, AHHHHH

GODHAXLOL: HORSEY LIVES!

KilluaXXX: This guy is OP to the OP

HeavenBlade: Lord Breckley will get him, that guy is…intense for an NPC

Tattles: Did anyone else wonder what that barrel will be used for?