“My name is Raymond... Evelyn Raymond…”

The dagger-wielding goblin crouched and placed the tip of his dagger against Raymond’s nose.

“Don’t you dare lie to us.” he hissed.

Raymond pushed herself up into a sitting position, ignoring the shallow cut from the dagger as she did so.

“I’m not lying… I really am…” she started when a loud roar interrupted her.

“You DARE?!” the two-handed mace wielding goblin shouted, “Evelyn Raymond is the greatest assassin who ever lived. You, as weak as you are, claim to be the Monarch of Ages?”

Raymond met his angry gaze, unwavering. “Yes,” she responded, “or rather, I was.”

Mace goblin raised his weapon, his eyes strained with rage.

The dagger goblin raised a hand, placing it on mace goblin’s shoulder.

“Calm, Trog. The red eye is at least proof that she is what she says she is. We need more information and we can’t get that if you kill her.”

“But…”

“If she is lying… naturally, I’ll let you bash her brain into the mountainside.”

Trog hesitated for a moment, anger battling with reason in his eyes. Slow, he lowered his mace.

“I will listen, Og… but my patience only stretches so far.”

Og patted him on the back and then turned to readdress Raymond.

“Explain.”

Raymond shrugged. “Is there a way for me to show you my status?” she asked.

Og nodded. “Just open the screen and mentally push it towards me.”

Raymond did so and then waited, watching Og carefully. Og’s eyes grew wide as he read the display in front of him. He glanced back and forth between Raymond and the invisible screen, his lips twitching into a frown.

“See, I am Evelyn Raymond…”

“And yet you are not at the same time…” Og finished. “How did this happen?”

“Still trying to figure that one out myself.”

Og waved the display away as he reached into his satchel and pulled out a small red potion. He offered it to Raymond and she accepted it gratefully.

“What did you see?” Trog asked, folding his arms.

“She is who she says she is...” Og replied, “but she has none of Master Evelyn’s classes, skills or abilities.”

“Master?” Raymond asked.

“Or her memories…” Og added.

“She was our teacher.” Trog growled, “And a damn fine one at that.”

Raymond lifted the red vial to her lips and drank the potion, sighing in relief as her insides returned to their proper position. She pushed herself to her feet and the Raven Lord descended, landing on her shoulder.

“My Lady, who are these uncultured, backstabbing swine?” the Raven Lord asked.

“These are goblins. They’re the reason we came out here.” she responded as she moved over to Lexi’s unconscious form. She kneeled beside her and stroked the catgirl’s dark hair.

“Accursed, clawed menaces and the fallen race... the company you keep is unbecoming of your illustrious self.”

Raymond glared at the Raven Lord. “I’m not super fond of your attitude.”

The Raven Lord ruffled his feathers, almost pulling off a shrug. “I state the truth as I see it and the truth becomes as us superior creatures make it.”

“Foul creatures, those familiars.” Og said, coming up beside Raymond. He spared a single glance at Lexi before focusing on Raymond.

“You said you came here looking for us?” he inquired.

“Yes,” Raymond nodded, “You got the message yesterday, right?”

Og nodded, “The one that said you became a Tether? Yeah, I ‘bout spit out my stew and glittered my pants. The whole tribe was in uproar.”

Raymond slowly stood up, turning to face Og.

“I’m here to bring you salvation.” she declared, “Take me to your leader.”

***

I released the breath I had been figuratively holding as I watched the tense confrontation.

“Damn…” I muttered, “I’m starting to hate my inability to do anything…”

“Even if you had a significant amount of Holy Power, you would often find yourself incapable of helping.” Auto said.

“What do you mean?”

“Consider your own world. You had dozens of powerful Overseers and yet bad things still happened, right?”

“Right…”

“It’s a mathematical problem. You gain power when you gain followers but you never at any point have enough power to help every one of your followers at the same time.”

Oh boy, when I meet whoever designed this system…

“Overseers… gods are one of the most beloved and despised existences. They leech their power off of mortals yet they must sometimes choose which mortals to save and which to abandon.” Auto continued.

My vision tinted red. Anger flared as I considered the implications of Auto’s words. It wasn’t much of a problem right now as I only had one and a half followers, soon to be two whenever Lexi can get to a Temple and declare her allegiance… but if I want enough power to help them, I would have to risk being put into a position where I have to choose who to save.

“Screw that.” I growled, “I will never abandon my followers… I’m not like the gods of Earth.”

“Heh..hehe..heh.” Auto laughed. The disjointed, robotic sound was disconcerting.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded.

“I admire your passion. I hope that you will be able to follow through on your convictions…” Auto replied, his tone faintly reminiscent of wistfulness, “I’ve seen too many choose that path and break.”

I looked at the windows… the options I currently had to utilize my power. I was very limited right now… all I could do is command and direct. But soon…

A little blinking red circle next to the Prayer Log caught my attention. I focused on it and the circle stretched, displaying a number:

415,532 unread messages.

Oh shoot.

I opened up the log and a huge list of names appeared.

Damn… that’s too many prayers. How do gods do it?

I opened up a few of the messages and scanned them. After clicking on a few dozen, most of them contained the same message.

“Hey Auto, can I set up an auto-respond function?”

“Affirmative, though it is not advised…”

“I just want to filter out the prayers a little. A lot of these are people thanking me for food and asking me to bless it. That'd cost way too much Holy Power. I want to have an automated response for those prayers. Something like… ‘kk, np’.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little cold? Those people are asking for your blessings.”

“Bless the food to what? Not give them a heart attack?”

I pointed at the message I was currently reading. “This guy asked me to bless his cheeseburger. There’s no way in hell he seriously expects my blessing to make that greasy trash healthy.”

“... I see your point.”

After fiddling with the options for a few moments, I pressed enter and 204,936 messages disappeared.

Simultaneously, 204,936 individuals on the continent of Nathea paused as a feeling of warmth filled them. They knew instinctively…

Legion had answered their prayers!

***

After Og had agreed to take her to meet their leader, Raymond had been surprised when three more goblins appeared, stepping seemingly out of thin air. Five goblins in total.

Their names were Og, Trog, Urg, Jug and Frog… she was noticing a pattern.

Shortly after, Lexi awoke in a violent fit as she leaped to her feet, crouched with claws extended and eyes moving back and forth, searching for threats.

“What’s the matter, foul cur?” the Raven Lord taunted.

Lexi glared at the bird for a moment and then, to Raymond’s amusement, she licked her lips while she relaxed her tense posture.

“I’m hungry.” she complained, motioning regretfully towards the rations on the ground, “And Sir Goblin interrupted my meal.”

Lexi bent down and picked up the salted meat, dusting it off with her other hand. Then she bit into it.

“You barbaric creature!”

“Shut it, Mr. Raven.” Raymond ordered.

“That’s not my name.”

“You haven’t told me your name yet.” Raymond countered.

The Raven Lord paused, repositioning himself. “Forgive my blunder…” he started as he flared out his wings dramatically.

“My name is Lord Mortimer Perseus Raventon the Dark!”

“...” Raymond, Lexi and the goblins all stared at the black bird.

“That is, of course, unless you decide to change it.” he added, “But I would highly advise that--”

Lexi cut him off. “You’re name…” she started.

“Tis magnificent, is it not?” Mortimer preened.

Raymond shook her head. “You can keep the name if you want, but I’m calling you Mort.”

He visibly deflated. “As you wish, my lady.”

Og cleared his throat. “Now that your companion is awake, let us go while the sun is still high in the sky.”

Raymond nodded and together the two groups began walking down the path. As they did so, Raymond looked around at the five goblins. All of the goblins were shorter than her, coming up to about her chest in height. Their teeth were sharp, their eyes were crooked and mean, their noses were long and bent…

In other words, they were awesome!

Og had two daggers and a mole on his nose. Trog had a large, black two-handed mace. Jug was missing his left ear and had no visible weapons. Urg carried a bow almost as big as he was and Frog wore a hat that bore a remarkable resemblance to a toad.

“So,” Raymond started, “What’s your tribe called?”

“Glitterfarts!” Frog declared proudly.

Raymond coughed lightly, attempting to mask her snicker.

“Why are you called the Glitterfarts?” she asked curiously.

Og and Urg shared a glance. “Frog, want to show her?” Urg asked.

“Sure!”

Raymond watched curiously as Frog increased his pace until he was a few feet in front of the group. Mort sighed as he leaped into the air.

“You asked for it.” he said.

Raymond hesitated, curiosity battling with apprehension as she noticed that Lexi too had backed away to a safe distance.

Frog reached back and Raymond noticed that he had a small flap in the back of his pants. A quick look revealed that all five goblins had the same flap. Frog released the catch and then jumped backward.

Raymond watched in surprise and confusion as a goblin butt flew through the air towards her.

And then there was glitter everywhere.

Raymond coughed and coughed, glitter flying through the air as she tried to shake it out of her hair and clear her lungs simultaneously.

You have been afflicted with Pixie Dust. All stats temporarily reduced by 15%

Due to Immortal Mind, Pixie Dust’s Illusory effects have been negated.

All five goblins and Lexi were laughing, tears streaming out of their eyes. Raymond glared at them.

“We will never speak of this to anyone.” she ordered. “Ever.”

It took Raymond a minute to calm down and then the group started moving forward again.

“How did you know to search for us here?” Urg asked.

Raymond pulled the collection quest out of Jantzen’s Bag of Holding and showed it to them. “There was a request in the Adventurer’s Guild in Cairel. I killed the adventurers who were coming here.”

Urg took the paper and scanned it, frowning.

“Must have been some weak adventurers. Bronze rank, maybe?” Trog observed.

Lexi nodded, “They were definitely bronze rank.”

“Good. If silvers were out here searching for us, we’d have to move again.” Og grunted.

“Again?” Raymond asked.

“The Rovarians are getting aggressive. The King keeps putting up bounties for goblin ears and we’ve been moving further and further east every time they find us.” Urg answered.

“They’ve found us again. I told you we should have just continued to the Federation.” Jug said, looking at Og.

Og frowned. “I really don’t want to go there… no humans, sure, but they have different kinds of problems there.”

“I know you hate politics and the Slimelords…” Jug said, “But at this point, there are no other options. It’s that or the Dwarves and nobody can find them.”

Og waved the problem away. “We’ll talk about that with Shaman. For now, let’s deal with what’s in front of us.”

“Who's Shaman?” Raymond asked.

“Shaman is a spiritual leader to us goblins. She remembers the past, leads the present and creates the future.” Trog recited.

“So, she’s a magic user? What kind?”

“Yes.”

The goblins didn’t elaborate, seemingly unwilling to say more than that, so Raymond let it go.

They walked in silence for a while longer and eventually Mort returned to his position on Raymond’s shoulder. He opened his beak but Raymond stopped him with a glare.

“Not a word about the glitter.”

Mort said nothing, closing his beak.

A few minutes later, they moved past a small totem that sparkled, reflecting the sunlight. As Raymond stared at it, she sneezed and a small puff of glitter covered the ground in front of her.

“Frog!” she muttered under her breath, “I hope you die in a sparkly-free hell.”

Og heard her and covered his mouth as if to hide a grin.

“You did ask for a demonstration…” he reminded her.

Raymond sighed, turning and continuing down the path. She heard laughter behind her and flushed.

A few dozen yards past the totem, Raymond saw a small, wooden barricade. It was barely half as tall as an average male human and looked extremely flimsy. A few goblins stood guard near a gateway. They each wore leather armor and carried a spear in their right hand.

As the group approached, both goblins saluted Og.

Og nodded in acknowledgment and then moved through the gate and into the goblin camp.

Raymond and Lexi shared a glance before following after him.

Upon entering, they both had the same thought:

“How the hell did Jantzen think his team could beat this?”