《The Unnoticed Dungeon》Chapter Twenty-Five: A Murder Most Fowl and Pennies from Heaven

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Chapter Twenty-Five

A Murder Most Fowl and Pennies from Heaven

The alley was dark and it reeked of trash that hadn’t been collected in weeks. The odor, as strong as it was, mostly blended into the background aroma of Goulcrest. The town was rife with filth, which was good for the Robinski brothers, the background stench covered up the smell of decomposition quite well. The people of Goulcrest had been nose blind for three generations. The brothers had never thought to use the town crevice to hide their bodies, and they’d never really needed to.

Their bodies were dropped into the massive compost heap behind the stables that had grown into a somewhat sizable hill over the last decade. Poop Hill, as it was affectionately referred to by the townsfolk had never really caught on as a good source of fertilizer by the locals. Area farmers used their own manure to re-nitrate their fields, and before it could be stopped the pile had taken on a historic status. Early into their career, the brothers had learned that no one bothered the pile, other than to add to it. And so, it became an impromptu graveyard for the unfortunate souls that fought back when they were getting rolled. Then, it became a graveyard for everyone they rolled; as they became more active the murdering family became more ruthless, and every soul that they encountered met at least one of their blades.

Tonight, they had their five eyes searching for the form of a gambler their sister had been grooming since he’d arrived in town. At the moment their target was in the Cracked Horseshoe and was being plied by their sister’s wiles to drink himself into a stupor. Now the brothers patiently waited on their sister to convince their mark to come out the back door into the alley and then they would all be counting coins.

“Byron,” Van Cleef, the youngest brother asked, “Why do we always have to do this in dark alleys? You know I’m ascared of the dark.”

“Because you can’t just go about murderin’ folks and taking their coin during the daylight hours and hold a job over at the stable. Mister Horsetooth wants us there from sun up to three hours after noon, every day. That doesn’t leave us a lot of time to go about committing crimes and still having dinner by six hours after noon.”

“You mean six in the after noon,” Cutler the middle brother corrected.

“I can’t keep track of six after mid night and six after noon,” Byron replied. “You know that,” he groused.

“I don’t see why we need to work at the stables anyway,” Van Cleef commented.

“Because, it gives us access to the compost pile,” Byron turned and looked at his younger brother with a look that let the younger Robinski know he was being stupid.

“Well, yes,” Van Cleef said, “But couldn’t we just sneak them there anyway? It tisn’t as if we carry them in out in the open an’ stuff.”

“That’s true,” Cutler agreed.

“Don’t be daft,” Byron reprimanded them, “If we did that, then we wouldn’t get paid for stirring the manure up. This way we get money for working the compost and hiding bodies. Think about it. We get a steady pay for working for old man Horsetooth. We never know how much we’re gonna get from these losers that Babs tricks into coming into the alley for a fling.”

“I know how much you won’t be getting tonight, blaggards,” came a voice from behind them. The brothers stiffened in surprise at the sound of the strange voice.

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“Van Cleef,” Byron asked without turning, “Is the door to the Horseshoe in front of us, or behind us?”

“I dunno, it's too dark to see. How many times have I said we need to do this in the daylight? I has been sayin’ an sayin’ doing our business in the dark was a bad ide . . . Ack!” His response was cut off with a crunch and a gurgle followed off by a thump.

Cutler, concerned for his brother, turned around and tried to light his lamp, but before he could strike his match to do so he found that a longsword had found its way into his Adam’s apple. His lamp and match both fell from his hands and he followed behind them in their quest to find the ground a moment later. Byron Robinski had just cottoned on to what was happening when a sharp pain flared in his back and his world would have gone black if he had tried to commit his crime in the proper hours rather than the dead of night. As it was, his world just stayed black as he died, and he never saw his killer or his sister, whose wrist was being tightly held by his attacker.

“Madam, I see now the true intent behind your insistence to take a stroll in this dimly lit by-street. I do apologize, but I cannot brook such heinous plotting against my person as I search for my missing brother.” There was a whistling that cut through the air and continued whistling just after it had parted Bab’s head from the rest of her body. The mark wiped his blade on the hem of her dress and made his way out to the main street with nary a glance back at the bodies of his would-be attackers. Not that he would have been able to see them, it was too dark, but even if the trio of murderers had performed their crime at mid-day he would not have seen more than a wisp of grey smoke denoting where they had been moments earlier.

Not even a single drop of blood was left behind. A duck waddled out from behind a rubbish can, its feathers ruffled, and quietly released a grumbling string of quacks at the lack of bodies that had been there no more than seconds before. Just as the mark had done, the duck left the alleyway completely unnoticed and headed off for another location that was frequented by thugs and villains in the hope of finding a meal.

<>

Tooth approached the bookstore, this time he had minimal butterflies and felt much more confident than he had after he’d entered the building and set his eyes on the book dealer. That woman had woven a spell on him that he’d not been prepared for. Her voice rang out like a bell in the night, and her sleepy eyes had captured his imagination.

Toot, the tutorial, had become mortal to experience all the things he’d been denied as a disembodied voice, and it seemed that interaction with the opposite sex ranked up very highly for his body and emotions. He lost all control over both of them whenever he thought of her, and he had devoted a lot of thought to her ever since he’d walked out of her place of business.

Numblee, the owner of the local magical shop Curious Goods, had carefully listened to Tooth as he expressed his longings and hopes about Nix. Things he had never even voiced to his companion, Dev. He wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed for having such feelings, or if he was afraid that the core would not like the idea of his interest in a simple town member. Once he got back to their cavern he would talk with Dev and lay everything out. He could, of course, do it anytime he wasn’t in a building, since the rest of the area was Dev’s dungeon, but it felt more impersonal to not do it in person.

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The gnome had given him either the perfect gift for Nix or the worst; it was hard to tell. Tooth felt bad about not automatically handing the gift over to Dev. The core could have just absorbed it and then regurgitated it back to him once he mastered making enchanted objects, but he didn’t want to wait that long. Dev was talented, but he wanted to see Nix now. So, he decided he would keep this little thing for her and apologize to Dev later.

He had that thought running through his head as he entered the store’s door. Tooth hadn’t realized he was so close to the shop, and before he knew it; he was staring at the object of his infatuation. Nix, the book dealer, was sipping tea and reading a book. She looked up at the tinkle of her bell and gave the core’s companion a sly smile.

“Mr. Tooth,” she said as she set her cup down, “Back so soon? Are you still looking for some dry old texts on science and mathematics? Or,” she flipped the book over to save her page, “Are you looking for something more adventurous?”

Tooth wasn’t sure how to take that. Was there innuendo there, a hidden subtext to her words, or was she just trying to sell him some fiction? He knew which one he hoped it was, and it certainly did not pertain to him reading the series, The Goblet, to the Fair and Back Again. Tales of a magic goblet saving the world by giving mystical powers to its imbibers were fun, but not the kind of fun he was looking for.

“I’m always up for some adventure,” tooth cleared his throat, “But I’m not here as a patron today, Miss Nix. Actually,” Tooth blushed, “I come bearing a gift.”

“Bearing a gift, huh,” she smiled. “I’d have never taken you for a man who chased younger women.”

“Oh, well, erm, no,” he sputtered and held his hands up, “I mean…”

Nix laughed and the air reverberated with her pitch-perfect voice. She waved at him playfully and approached the older man.

“Age isn’t a factor to me, Mister Tooth. I’m fairly open-minded, and prefer to examine my suitor’s content of character over trivial things like looks, wealth, and age.” Then she paused as her golden locks fell down her face, “You are a suitor, aren’t you?”

Tooth swore that her face bore a trace of hope, and he swallowed hard before answering her. He was very interested in courting her. He shook his head in affirmation.

“To be quite honest, I am smitten with you,” he responded.

“I don’t think that you are a smitten kitten,” Nix replied, “You are cuddly, but I also sense a strength about you. That you would fiercely defend that which was yours. Your appearance is very deceiving. You act old, but when no one is watching you carry yourself in a completely different manner. I think if I spent ten years around you, I would barely scratch the surface of who you really are.” She walked over to him as she spoke.

Had she been watching him? Did that indicate that she had a more than a cursory interest in him?

“The proper term is smitten,” Tooth replied. “And I fear that you are not wrong in your assessment of me; there are parts of myself that I can never reveal.”

“So, there will be some revealing going on, then?” Nix bit her lower lip and brushed the hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“Perhaps,” Tooth said with growing confidence, “Once we have gotten to know one another a little better.”

“A man who likes to take his time! Who would have guessed after the alacrity with which you returned to my shop with a token of affection?” Nix gave him a sly wink.

“I don’t believe in wasting time in letting my intent be known,” Tooth chuffed, “But I don’t believe in spoiling the process of exploration by riding past points of interest. Sometimes, the journey can be just as rewarding as the destination.”

“And sometimes, you can enjoy the view on the trip home,” she said with a twinkle in her eye, “But I can see you are not that kind of man, so let me ask. What token have you brought me this day?”

Tooth held out his hand and showed her a gem that was half the size of his palm. Had he placed it into her hand she would have had to palm it like a ball. Nix’s eyes widened at the size of the jewel. Tooth could see that she was just about to shake her head just from the item’s value, but he held up his hand and indicated for her to wait. He walked over to where she had laid her book and flipped it over. Tooth motioned for her to come forward and she complied.

“Place the pointed culet of the stone on the first word of the page and then spin it,” He instructed.

Nix placed the gem’s tip on the paper as she been told and gave her thumb and forefinger a twist, which resulted in the diamond spinning like a top on the page. The clear jewel began to glow, first white, then blue, and finally green. The book dealer looked to Tooth in askance, but he nodded for her to pay attention. Then, the gem spoke.

“This is Prattle, you are reading Weathering Skies, page 112. Do you wish to continue?” The voice was, without question Tooth’s.

“Uh, yes?” Nix questioned.

The gem then danced over each word, speaking each one aloud as it went. The mystical device did so with emotion and drama, telling the story from the perspective of the characters. Nix’s pouty lips opened in awe when the female lead spoke and Prattle’s voice changed to a more feminine sounding version of Tooth.

“What is this?” Nix asked with a barely audible voice.

“I got this over at Curious Goods. Numblee attuned it to my voice so that I could read to you if you wanted, even if I am not around.” Tooth stared into her eyes and prayed he had not overstepped. He knew that some people like to be read to, and it seemed an intimate gesture when they did so. There was the possibility that he could scare her off with something so personal.

“I love it,” Nix said as she bumped her hip into his upper thigh. Even with her heels, she was not tall enough to meet his hip with hers.

Tooth smiled and looked down at her, something stirring in his chest. He longed to place his lips on hers but held back. He could not be so forward. She deserved to be treated like . . .

“Gold,” a voice entered his head. It sounded so familiar and struck with a need, unlike anything he had ever felt before. Did he want gold? Oh, no! Dev’s greedy half was waking up and was so strong that even he could feel it. He was about to excuse himself and run to his companion’s aid when he stared into Nix’s eyes. They sparkled and glittered like gold.

Her whole person shimmered with heavenly yellow sparkles as if she were covered in gold dust, and he found that he could not resist her. Before he knew it Tooth had picked her up and was cradling her in his arms.

“We will look at the scenery on the way back, my little gold dust woman.” He said as he carried her to the backroom, hoping that there was a comfortable surface hidden somewhere in the unseen area of the shop. Somewhere, thousands of miles away Prattle continued to read with Tooth’s voice, even as the old man’s lips were pressed firmly to those of Nix.

<>

The cavern was raining gold coins and it showed no signs of stopping. Dev tried to wrest control back from his formerly contained piece of psyche, but he was failing miserably.

His greed was so overwhelming that it simply would not be satisfied until it had filled the cavern up from top to bottom with shiny metal coins. There was absolutely nothing he could do, the need had been repressed and suppressed for too long without satisfaction, and now all he could do was to ride it out and hope that the insanely focused part of him relented at some point in the future.

The sound of coins being poured from buckets reverberated throughout the cave, even Dev’s little cubby hole was full. He suspected that his moving from the coin had caused the frustration to build up unchecked. He had already repositioned himself onto the center of the coin, but it was too late. Nothing was going to satisfy his other half.

And then it felt like a dam broke and all the desire he’d been feeling had been vented. Dev could feel a connection with Tooth, even though he was not in the dungeon, but was inside one of the shops. He had done something to quiet the howling beast that his miserly side was, and Dev mentally thanked his companion. He didn’t know how he’d done it, but their connection had been strong enough that Toot had calmed the monster.

Dev took the momentary advantage and shoved his greed back into another module, one that he made doubly strong. It wasn’t a permanent solution, but it would hold for the foreseeable future. It was most satisfying. He hoped that Toot, no matter where he was or how he did it, had the same feeling of satisfaction that he did.

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