I don’t end up taking my nap Not long after Jenny leaves, I begin to feel that discomfort she was talking about, and it isn’t pleasant. It begins with an itch. I twist my neck and my wrist as best I can, but I’m unable to scratch it. I fall back in the bed, defeated, and attempt to ignore the itch in hopes that it will fade. It doesn’t. It begins to grow worse and then it starts to sting like lemon juice in a cut. I wince. As my neck continues to throb, there’s a burning sensation that starts up in my chest. At first it’s just little. Some tightness. However, that changes very quickly and suddenly it feels on fire. I can’t help but cry out. The burning sensation grows, flames licking their way up my windpipe. I cough. It doesn’t help that at that moment there’s a loud tone and a hissing noise, signaling the return of the gas. I can feel it rattling the nasal tubes and then I can’t breathe again. It takes thirty seconds for the gas to subside. As if it has an instant affect the burning gets worse. A wail escapes me and I would do anything for a glass of water or something cold right now. Anything to ease the blaze.

Sweat beads on my brow and it becomes hard to breathe. I grip the rail of the bed tightly, squeeze my eyes shut, and try to wait it out. This has to be the ‘discomfort’ of my gills forming. If this is discomfort, I’m terrified for the tail.

The pain is still here when Jenny returns and by this point, I'm gasping for breath. I feel like a fish pulled from the water.

“I feel like every time I leave you alone, I always return to you in pain and in need of help,” Jenny sighs. “What’s the matter?”

“Water,” I wheeze. “Please, it burns.”

“I can’t give you water, sweetheart, you’re not allowed to have anything in your system until this is over. What hurts?”

“My throat and… and my chest. Hard to breathe.”

“Okay, hang in there,” Jenny says. She hurries to the sink and fills a glass with water. I watch as she brings it over. She presses the cool glass against the skin of my neck. Wetting her fingers, she rubs the liquid against my throat. While it feels nice on my dry skin, it doesn’t help take the pain away. Tears roll down my cheeks as I wonder about how long it will last. A door slamming against the wall makes me jump. The boy from earlier comes back in and drops something on the chair Jenny was using earlier. It hits with a dull thud. It looks like a short, clear, water-filled lifejacket. It’s frozen solid.

“I was told to give this to you when the gills started coming in,” the boy says to Jenny. “You’re here now, so here. It’s apparently supposed to help shock the lungs into widening to make breathing easier.”

“How long has she been like this?”

The boy shrugs. “Forty-five minutes? I don’t know.”

“And you’re only bringing this out now!” Jenny demands. “You couldn’t have helped her?”

“Hey, babysitting the fish is your job, I'm just supposed to keep an eye on the monitors and on the room and report any changes.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets and walks away. A muscle feathers in Jenny’s jaw, showing her displeasure.

“Jerk,” I mutter. Jenny doesn’t speak; instead she releases both my restraints and pulls me upright. She keeps a hand on one of my arms.

“Arms out,” she requests. I blush slightly at her request. I really wish I had been allowed to keep the gown. The sheet works fine when I’m lying down, but now… I sigh and put my arms out. Jenny slides the jacket on and buckles it up. It barely reaches the bottom of my ribcage, and I gasp at the sudden cold. The boy was right; it does make it a little easier to breathe, though the pain is still present. “Better?”

I nod. “yeah, a little, thanks.”

“Let me see your neck,” she requests, she gently pushes on my head and I tilt it to the side.

“Can you see anything?” I ask.

“The area is really red, but I don’t actually see gills. The only way to find out if they’ve formed is for you to be underwater. You could stick your head in a bucket,” she suggests. I shake my head. “Why not?”

I wring my hands. “I don’t want to know,” I whisper. “The fangs are one thing, you could have easily just filed my teeth, and my feet could very well just be tightly bound in a big sock or something. As long as I don’t look, it’s possible in my mind. But gills, breathing underwater,” I hesitate. “That makes it real and I'm just…not ready yet.” I hang my head, my hair falling into my face. Jenny squeezes my shoulder.

“I understand that it’s hard, but what are you going to do tomorrow when the transformation completes? You’re going to have a-”

“I know,” I snap.

Jenny’s face falls. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, I-”

“I know. I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed,” I admit.

“Do you want some time by yourself?”

I shake my head. “No, not really.” I shiver, suddenly very cold. The pain has subsided and now this frozen life jacket is really cold. I unclip the buckle and slide it off. I grab the sheet and tug it around my body instead.

“Feeling any better?”

“Yeah, a little. The pain is gone and I can breathe. Tomorrow is really…” I trail off.

“Yes. You’re forty hours in. At eleven tonight you’ll be woken up for your final injections.”

“You mean the one’s they put in my back?” I wince as she nods her head. “That was really painful.”

“Don’t expect to get much sleep tonight,” Jenny says. “But I'm not leaving work tonight, so you won’t be on your own.”

“Thank you,” I sigh with relief. “It means a lot.”

“No one should go through something like this alone; besides, someone’s got to look after you.” She hesitates. “I hate to do this to you, but I have to put at least on restraint back on.” I sigh and nod. I press my left hand against the rail of the bed so she can strap it back down. “How do you feel now?”

“A lot better. It’s weird. It’s like there’s a lot of pain when it’s happening but then it fades almost instantly once whatever change is going on has been completed.”

“Well, that’s a good thing,” Jenny states. “Less pain, right?”

I nod. Our conversation is interrupted when the scientist walks in, along with two others. One is a girl who looks a little older than Jenny, her blonde hair pulled into a tight bun, and the other is the teenaged boy from before. The woman pushes a gurney into the room, the sight of it making me shudder. What now?

“Dr. Auldon, sir, is there something that you need?” Jenny asks.

“Yes,” The man replies. He nods to the woman. “Put her under and get her loaded up.”

The woman approaches me and preps a syringe. A sedative, I’d presume. She doesn’t bother making eye contact as she injects the needle’s contents into my arm. My restraints are removed and I'm forced to sit up. My limbs grow heavy and limp. My arms are forced into the sleeves of a robe. It’s Jenny that picks me up afterwards, but by this point, my vision is hazy. I think my head hits her shoulder, but I don’t know for sure.

***

The lights seem harsher and I squint while my eyes adjust.

“Hey,” Jenny greets. “Have a nice nap?”

“No,” I groan. “What did they want this time?”

“To alter your appearance. They didn’t want to risk someone recognizing you. Don’t worry, it’s nothing too extensive like surgical adjustments. Here, sit up and I’ll show you,” Jenny offers. It’s then that I realize my hands aren’t tied to the bars of the bed. I sit up and instantly realize two differences. My hair is longer. It once fell to the bottom of my shoulder blades, but now it brushes the skin of my hips. The other difference is it’s color. What used to be a light, brownish-blonde, is now a dark oak color. My purple highlight is gone too.

“Oh,” I say. Jenny offers me a small hand mirror. I hesitate before taking it. My eyebrows have been dyed and plucked into slim lines. I’m surprised to find my eyes the same; I was expecting contacts or something to change the color. The freckles are new though. Three or four uneven rows of them outline the bottom of my eyes, thinning out to sprinkle across the top of my nose. While the overall effect doesn’t look bad, it also no longer resembles my face. Even someone who saw me every day would be hard-pressed to recognize me now.

“I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you have awful timing,” Jenny says.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

She glances at her watch. “In less than a minute they’re returning to give you those needles,” she breaks off in a yawn. “I was hoping you’d sleep right through, but clearly not. Though you did sleep through the growth of your chest scales, so that’s something,” she says.

“Really? Do they have a color?” I ask.

“No. Just a skin tone. It’s paler than your actual color, but you are very tan, so I’d imagine it was your skin tone when you were born. I’d suggest the same shade your skin returns to in the winter when you spend less time in the sun, but there isn’t much of a winter in Australia is there?”

“No, there isn't.” I jump at the sound of the door opening. I’m really starting to hate that sound because more often than not, something bad often follows. The man who did the needles last time has returned. Three syringes contain the same murky yellow liquid as before. Spinal fluid. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have that extracted. I hope they put the mermaid to sleep when they do it, though part of me seriously doubts it. One detail about the needles sticks out.

“Those points are a lot longer than the last ones.”

Jenny squeezes my hand. “They go in a lot further,” she explains. “Now come on, lie down on your side facing away from us.” I lie back and roll over, no point resisting. I hate the feeling of rolling my feet, which are fused together from the ankles down, and the tips flop about like paper.

The needle is inserted quickly, at the base of my spine, and the immediate and unbearable pain steals a scream from me. It didn’t hurt this bad last time. Grinding my teeth helps keep back a scream as the second one goes into the middle of my back, only a whimper escapes. The final needle is put into the base of my neck, and this one hurts the most. It also scares me. As he’s pushing it in, I can imagine the tip managing to protrude from my throat. It doesn’t, obviously, and it’s all over in a matter of seconds. Those seconds, however, are enough to leave me shaking.

“Roll onto your back,” Jenny requests. I shake my head, afraid to put my weight on my throbbing spine. “Yes, come on now.” She tugs on my arm, forcing me to obey. “Now bring your knees to your chest.” Again, she ‘assists’ in making sure I follow her command. I hug my knees, but manage to avoid looking at my feet.

“What are you doing?” I ask. My question goes unanswered. There’s a lot of rustling and a grunt from the man. Jenny scoops me up and lays me down on the floor. My hips down, hit something cold and wet.

“Stretch out now,” Jenny requests. I do and my legs touch the same cold gel like substance. The wax paper, or whatever the stuff is on, is wrapped tightly around my hips and legs down to my ankles. Then a blanket is pulled over top and everything is belted down with three different straps to hold it in place. I'm placed back on the bed and the man leaves.

“Jenny, what’s this for?” I ask again.

“It’s to keep your legs protected and hydrated. The needles trigger the tail. It should only be a couple of minutes before your legs start to merge. But because the tail will be very new, until the scales grow the exposed skin will be very weak. This stuff will help protect it because it will tear easily otherwise. It’s also to force your legs together to make the change a little faster. This is supposed to be the longest and most painful part of the change, so brace yourself.”

I swallow the painfully large lump forming in the back of my throat. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“You have to, there’s no turning back now. No stopping it.”

“I know. How long did you say that I had before it starts?”

Jenny glances at her watch again. “It could start any second now, but it might still take a few minutes.”

No sooner than the words leave her mouth, I feel it start. My legs go completely limp and numb, before an intense pins and needles sensation shoots through the appendages. I wince slightly, though if this is all I'm going to feel, I'll be really grateful. Something tells me this is only the beginning though.

“Are you alright?” Jenny asks.

A door opens. The door to the conjoining room behind the mirror. Dr. Auldon pokes his head out. “Miss Barnes,” he calls gruffly. “In here now!”

Jenny sighs and squeezes my hand. “Stay strong. Hopefully I can come back out once I find out what he wants,” she murmurs quietly. Then she turns and follows the scientist into the other room. He closes the door, leaving me alone. Well, not totally alone, I know they’re watching me; but on my own through this. I know he won’t let Jenny come back in. I resign myself to the next couple of, likely very painful, hours. The pins and needles sensation grows stronger, but it’s not totally unbearable and I start to relax a little. I can handle this. Then suddenly it’s like someone has stabbed a knife into both of my legs, just above the ankles and slices right up both my limbs. I scream. The feeling comes again, stretching the incision. I would believe it just a sensation, except for the warm liquid running down my legs. I’m bleeding. My legs are actually tearing open. And the pain is excruciating. I scream again as the burning comes. It feels like flames are licking their way up my legs, consuming them like dried timber. My hips buck as my body begins to convulse. Someone enters the room then. He holds me down while another man straps me down. My head, shoulders, arms, lower stomach, and my feet just below the ankles, are belted down by leather straps that render me incapable of almost any movement. I curl my fingers into tight fists and shriek. My pain falls on deaf ears as the two, with their task completed, leave me alone in the room once more.

***

I don’t know how long it goes on, feels like hours, but the pain continues to grow worse. I can’t, however much I want to, stop screaming. I’ve rubbed my throat raw and even started coughing up blood earlier. Being unable to sit up, I almost choked on the blood and had to swallow it before I did. I know I started pleading too, begging them to make it stop, but my pleas went ignored so I eventually gave up. I can’t really differentiate my legs anymore and I know they’ve become one limb. It makes me wonder why there’s still incredible pain, but I soon get my answer. The outside may have finished forming, but all new bones and muscles are growing inside, old ones melting away. I feel my already sore spine begin to lengthen and extend a little ways down the tail, new muscles and nerves stitching themselves together. It’s immensely painful and I scream again, hating the sound. Finally, after what seems like eternity, I fall limp and welcome the pleasant abyss that comes with unconsciousness.