《Carn Online: Second Chances》Chapter 21 - Shopping Spree
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The next couple of days went by without any major incidents. Of noteworthy events there were a few. First I managed to produce a Holy Elemental Powder of poor quality, the resulting potions was barely worth the ingredients used to create them, and that was when I was selling to players. Nevertheless, they granted a good amount of XP towards my next skill level in Alchemy.
The second event of note was the fact that Nise continued to be pretty lucky with her rolls related to farming. Once again she managed to score 106 carrots on her harvest, though her thyme harvest was slightly worse. Her luck lasted through the first Lesser Transmutation with the carrots. On the second attempt with the thyme she got a flawed success, so she had to try once more which turned out to be a success. Since we did not have a base yet, she “rented” the fields for another week, plus an extra one where she planted potatoes. With Farming being level 2, she was allowed to plant two plots instead of one.
Thirdly I had managed to get my hands on a lot of rabbit’s feet, despite another level increase in Butchery. At the moment I had enough feet for three attempts. No matter how much I itched to craft them right away, it would have to wait for later in the day, because I had important things to take care of.
The fourth thing was also the reason why I found myself in the auction house on the morning of the tenth ingame day. I had started going to the auctions, just to browse their catalogues, looking for trophies, including the auction history of the first week. They had not sold for the exorbitant prices some had tried getting for them.
There were several reasons for that. One, only players could get them from monsters. So the NPCs did not know what they were for. Which led to the second reason, there was no standard price. Thus it was deemed worthless by the general player population. And finally, reason number three, no one knew what they were used for just yet.
My research had revealed, there would be sixteen lots that were trophies for sale in the upcoming auction. As was some of the more obscure materials and ingredients, half of which I could not remember the usage for. However, most of those would not survive the one to two week trip it would take to get to Blackport.
Sitting down in the booth inside the auction house, I touched the globe. When I opened my eyes, I was in a rich looking foyer. The walls were made of some expensive looking wood paneling, with huge tapestries depicting everything from strange looking symbols to battle scenes featuring dragons.
The ingame auctions were nothing like the coin auction I had joined earlier. In these auction houses, you looked like yourself, so there was no hiding who you were. Unless you paid an exorbitant fee for one of the private boxes. Not something I wished to squander coins on, just yet.
A few dozen people mingled in the foyer, probably waiting for the auction to start. Most of them were clearly players, despite their nice looking clothes, but I saw a few NPCs as well. It was something that irritated the player population a lot. Unlike the coin auction, all other auctions allowed NPCs to bid as well, and they often had deep pockets. Which was both a good and a bad thing. Good because it could earn the sellers a lot of money, but bad for the buyers because it drove up the price.
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I was easily the worst dressed person in the room, which I heard a few people comment on. One even recognized me. “If he really had hacked the servers, he would not be dressed like a damn peasant.”
“Yes, I wonder if there’s a dress code and he’ll get kicked out?” the man’s friend responded with a snicker. There was not a dress code, at least not on these smaller auctions. The big ones on the other hand, had a dress code and a minimum fee to enter. You could use the fee to bid with, so as long as you bought something, you had not lost any coins.
Ignoring the fashion police I headed to one of the side halls. Most auction houses had display rooms, where you could get a sneak peak on some of the items for sale. The hall was a long one, with pedestals displaying samples of the varying goods that would be for sale in about ten minutes.
The first thing I stumbled upon was a branch of Nimblewood, a very sought after wicker material. In a pinch it made for some thick flexible rope. I was not surprised to see it for sale in bulk, even though it was an uncommon material. There were not a lot of uses for an uncommon material yet, much less one for wickering, and it was found in smaller quantities, which the big guild was not interested in. And for the NPCs it was of little use when only below average quality. So it would not sell for a lot.
The next item I stumbled upon was actually a sparse ingredient, an Elvenberry. They were a very sweet berry that was good for making pies and desserts. It was also one of the main ingredients in the Linyenwa Wine, one of the nine most sought after recipes in the game. Though I knew the ingredients, I could not make the wine without the recipe, only an imitation. The reason being that consuming a certain amount of this wine, would grant Elven Essence Shards. Each of the nine ancient races had a signature drink and dish that could only be made from recipes dropped in the echo dungeons of the respective races. However, that was only the players that received that benefit.
Unfortunately the Elvenberry would not last more than a week after harvest. Meaning they would be spoiled by the time they got to Blackport. Just because I was curious, I looked at the plaque describing which and how many lots contained the Elvenberry. It turned out there was only a single lot, with forty seven of them.
Spending the time going through the displays I spotted many similar items, which sparked a flash of memory. Of course I was most interested in the trophies, but by the time the gong signalling the start of the auction, I had only found the rabbit’s feet and rat tails. While the rat tails would be popular with the physical combatants in the guild, I was much more interested in the cat paws or if I was lucky the owl tail feather. Though I had not spotted them, the feet and tails only accounted for eleven of the lots, so there was a chance that some of the other trophies would make an appearance as well.
Following the rest of the patrons into the large auction hall I found a seat easily enough, despite the number of attendees had increased to around hundred. The main auction hall had room for a couple hundred bidders, as well as ten private boxes. It was by no means the largest auction hall in the game, but not the smallest either.
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Unlike the coin auction this hall did not have any large displays that ensured everyone could see the auctioneer. On the other hand the stage was raised, which meant that most people should be able to see what was going on up there. The seat I found was placed towards the middle of the room.
When I sat down, a globe of light appeared in front of me. At the moment it was just glowing a dull white. With a light touch I would accept the current asking price by the auctioneer. If I touched it for more than a second it would activate a voice enhancing spell, which would allow me to place a higher bid then asked for. The globe would glow green when I had the highest bid, and red if I had been outbid. It would also display where the current lot was located, and different options on how to get it transported to your location, including time and cost.
“Welcome one and all, Natives and Travellers alike,” the auctioneer appeared suddenly on the stage, his voice booming from the enhancement spells. Silence filled the hall, and the old woman on the stage continued, “Heartwood Auction Houses thanks you for your patronage, and wishes you happy biddings. The first item up for sale is a lot of Elvenberries. There’s forty sev—”
I spaced out as I was not interested in them. There was one thing I did notice, and that was the location from where it was sold. It was the Eternal Empire’s capital, Ishl Alari. It was also the main operating base of Dawnguard.
It was four lots before one of the lots I was interested in came up. The auctioneer presented the image of six different coloured rabbit’s feet. “This is an oddity, a new class of items called Trophy which has never been seen in Carn before, and there is no standard value. The lot contains sixty feet, ten of each colour. We’ll start bidding at one platinum.”
Silence reigned in the hall for ten seconds, before the auctioneer ventured, “No one, how about fifteen gold, do I hear fifteen gold?”
Again no one said anything, visibly frustrated the auctioneer lowered the price again, “Do I hear five gold? No one?”
The transport time would be nine days for this lot, and cost me two gold. Pretty cheap, but then again it only took up one sack, so it would be cheap. Touching the globe for a second, I waited for it to turn purple, before I said, “One gold.”
“I’ve one gold,” the auctioneer jumped on my bid immediately, “Do I hear one gold and five silver?”
Everyone seemed to look around to see if they could spot who had bid. Since my globe was lit green, it would not take a genius to figure out it was me. Indeed, someone who was sitting nearby spotted me, and looked at me with a frown. With a loud whisper, clearly meant for me to hear, he said to someone nearby, “It’s that guy that was arrested for hacking. Maybe they’re worth something.”
“Nah, the beta-tester didn’t find anything, the Natives know nothing about them, and they’ve no system value,” his friend replied.
“Well, let me fuck with him, anyway,” the first one said and pressed his globe.
“I got one gold and five silvers, do I hear one and ten? Going once,” the auctioneer raised his gavel, “Going twice.”
The guy who had bid looked back at me with panic in his face. It was not a lot of money, especially to the larger guilds, but he had done it just to fuck with me. I considered letting them go, but as long as it was under two gold I would be willing to pay, so in the last second I pressed the globe. Relief flooded the jerk’s face. It was not a lot of coins, but spending coins on something you did not want, was probably not his idea of fun.
“We’ve one gold and ten silver,” the auctioneer droned on. When no new bids came forth, he sold it to me. The next few lots held nothing of interest for me, before another set of rabbit’s feet came up. I managed to get that one for only a gold. It set the precedent for most of the auction.
What surprised me was the fact that two lots of trophies were the heartwood from Twiglings, the starting monster around Ishl Alari, the only place in the world it could be found. I could only conclude that Dawnguard was the only ones in that city able to collect that many. With the minimum auction fees for selling something in the auction houses, I highly doubted a lot of independent players would try to sell something without a perceivable value.
I bought them happily, well only one of them. By the time the second lot of heartwood came around, the other people started bidding as well. Though one of them had a sour look when they could not press me above two golds, and they ended up sitting with the seemingly worthless goods on their hands.
If I had had more coin on me, I would probably have gone all the way up to a platinum per lot, but the sad fact was that I only had two platinum and nine gold coins on me. In the end I managed to get my hands on nine lots of different kinds. A total of ninety sets of materials. It would be great for grinding Greater Transmutation and arm the guild with some really nice magic items. Of course it cost me most of my coins to secure them and pay for the transport. In the end I spent 32 gold during the auction, though I wish I could have bought some of all the other great crafting materials available.
In nine to ten days, I would get my hands on those materials, and it was going to be glorious. However, that was still in the future, since it would take nine days for it to arrive. I could have gone for a faster option of seven days, but would more than double the transport cost.
After leaving the auction house I made my way to Ilat’s plant gazebo, and set up there. There was no reason for me to be outside at my usual stall. The Dusts were still buying all the rabbits, leaving me with only those provided by my guild. The reason why I chose the square around the gazebo, was because I was waiting for Ed’s party to complete the Sewer Dungeon for the fiftieth time.
They would then have accumulated enough reputation as a party, for them to unlock the next dungeon. Which would be tough for a sub-level thirteen party using assisted mode, but should be manageable by Ed’s party. The best part was that with that dungeon unlocked you could begin earning reputation with the Lord of Blackport. As well as more guild points.
It was however, only shortly after half past ten, so it should be at least another hour or more before they finished running the Sewer Dungeon. To pass time, I did what I always did; butchered rabbits.
I had just butchered my twelfth rabbit, who was kind enough to drop a silver rabbit’s foot, when a small ball of light appeared. Someone was sending me a message. Touching it, I heard Robin’s voice clearly. “Where are you? We’ve been looking for you.”
Shrugging, I send a reply message, hoping that my level zero Message spell would reach her. “I’m at the Sewer Dungeon.”
Less than a minute later while I was meditating, the party arrived with a tag along. Someone I recognized. Someone I was not the least bit happy to see. His name was Austin, better known by the stupid nick Shadowy Phantom. He was one of Aragoth’s favourite spies, but according to my knowledge he should be with the Silver Lords. He had been a highly successful spy, having risen to upper management in the Silver Lords, and Aragoth claimed he was the one responsible for making it possible for Dawnguard to win the first challenge.
The reason I could recognize him was that he was using the same nick and appearance he had done for when he infiltrated the Silver Lords. Meaning that Aragoth had pulled him away before he could join the Lords.
Which in itself was very troubling. If he mobilized such an important resource, it meant that other troubles would follow. With him here, it probably meant that the Dusts was also one of Aragoth’s ideas. It suddenly clicked why they seemed familiar. When I joined Dawnguard they had just remade their characters, because they had been finally driven to the brink of bankruptcy. They had been playing a trade war with the Lords, masquerading as independent players, and they had been quite troublesome for the Lords. I knew them better as Lord and Lady Phoenix.
Not just one, but two of Aragoth’s more covert assets had been deployed in Blackport. Most likely to deal with me. I found it a bit extreme, and I really just hoped that he had not dispatched any of the Shadowguard; Dawnguard’s assassins. They were officially not part of the guild, and appeared to be independent players. Highly skilled combatants, and general bad asses. I had dealt with them extensively, handing them guides to their current locations, and information on their marks.
“Hey Damian, we’ve been looking all over for you,” Robin said as they approached.
Mustering what was hopefully a pleasant smile on my face, I greeted them back, “Hey guys. I thought you were running the dungeon?”
“We were about to when we were approached by this guy,” Robin said and indicated Shadowy Phantom, or Mancer the Bold as he called himself. “He said he heard about us and wants to join us. He just joined the game today.”
“And since we’ve room for one more at the moment, we thought we needed him to join our temporary squad before we started diving the dungeon,” Petals added, with Ed adding his grunt as agreement.
“I—” I started to say, but was interrupted.
Kira said, “He has some knowledge of martial arts, we sparred with him a bit, and with some training he could be good.”
“Thank you, you’re quite impressive yourself,” the man of the hour said to her, before he stepped forward and shook my hand. He was dressed in a leather armour and carrying a long spear. Just like he had done when he was in the Silver Lords.
Before I could say anything, he said, “I agree with your goal, we need to get people out of those damn boxes. I’ve already read your contract and I’m willing to sign it. I’ve even bought some currency at the auction and I’m willing to donate it upon joining, to fight the good fight. Despite the whole misunderstanding some of us still think you’re on the right track. Some of them even call you the Awakener.”
He had pulled out some platinum coins while he was talking. There had to be around a dozen or so. Seeing those coins, a devilish plan suddenly sprung to mind. I could see his last sentence made both Ed and Robin furrow their brows, while the other just let out exclamations of cheers. Ed gave me a weird look, but Robin was about to say something.
Making sure she could not ruin my plan before I could even start it, I quickly said, “The Awakener? I’m not sure I’m deserving of such a moniker.”
“Oh, but you’ve given a lot of people hope. They’re talking about it. Most of them are working jobs that are threatened by replacement of the new AIs, meaning the jobs are disappearing fast,” he answered with a grin. “Now they have hope that you’ll save them some day, if the worst comes to transpire and they lose their job.”
“Well, I can’t do it alone. Speaking of needing help, could I get you guys to help me pack up?”
“Sure thing, the table just goes in the cart?” Mister Spyman asked and immediately stepped forward to grab the table. Robin was standing behind him and staring angrily at me. I reckoned she had figured out something hinky about his explanation. Such as there was no credit to coin auction for another four days.
When he stepped past me I gave her a small shake of my head. She arched her left eyebrow in a questioning manner. Putting my hand to my chin, I cleared my throat, making sure that my index finger was extended, making the universal sign of shush subtly. Hopefully, but as far as I could see no one but Robin and Ed picked up on it.
“There you go,” he said.
Turning around I gave him a big smile. “Thank you. Lets go and deal with the contract at once.”
“Oh, we can’t just do it here?” he asked.
“No, I like to do it a bit more formally, and make an ingame copy of the contract,” I said and quickly added, “Which reminds me we should all get that done. We’ve been running a bit ragged and forgetting formalities. Petals and Marion could you go get Nise and Phil?”
“Sure,” Marion said after looking at Robin for a hint of what was going on.
“Why do we need to sign contracts ingame as well?” Blaze asked as the two ladies left.
“Makes it a bit more formal, and would be pretty cool to actually have a record ingame,” I answered.
“Eh, seems pretty lame. But whatever, you’re doing weird stuff lately,” he muttered.
“I think it reinforces a sense of belonging,” Mister Lame Name said. Clearly he was trying to weasel his way in.
“I agree,” Ed said, “Where are we going?”
“To the temple. Since we don’t have a guild house yet, we should store them in the warehouse,” I said and started walking in the direction.
“Maybe we could have the priest bless the contracts, I’ve reached Accepted status with the temple, and they keep insisting the Gods have real power,” Kira added.
“True,” I agreed with a thoughtful nod. “Oh that reminds me, we need some paper and ink. Blaze could you get it for us?”
“Come on, it’s because of all the comments to the girls? I know now it’s wrong, and I’ve been good,” Blaze protested.
“It’s not because of that, but because I need it done,” I said.
“Fine, but you better pay me back.”
“Thanks, both of you,” I said as Blaze stomped away. Turning to One-Eye I said, “We forgot to tell Petals and Marion where we’re going. Could you catch up to them?”
One-Eye just shrugged and started running in the direction the two ladies had gone.
“I’m surprised I’ve not seen you in an interview since the incident with the wrongful arrest,” Mister Suck Up said.
“So am I, I thought Hannah would’ve been shoving her assets in your face for another interview,” Kira added with an impish smile.
Thinking about it, I actually found that weird as well. Shrugging I said, “I guess she got better things to do.”
“She hasn’t done an interview since the last series she did with you and your guild mates,” Mister Screwed But Do Not Know It Yet pointed out.
“Really?” I asked surprised. Did that mean she did end up committing suicide in this time line after all? That left me feeling ambivalent. On one hand it would be terrible if it happened again, but on the other hand it would show the five people I told my secret that I was not crazy. I had after all mentioned her suicide.
“Yes.”
“That is weird. Anyway we’re here,” I said, “Let me run in and make arrangements.”
Going into the temple alone, I quickly flagged down a priest, “Greetings, sorry to disturb you, but I wish to draw up a magical contract.”
“Of course, right over here,” the young man said and led me over to an alcove with a desk. A much older priest sat behind the table.
“Salutations, how may the servants of the Gods help you this day?” the old man said when we stepped up.
Taking out my remaining coins, I muttered a small “damn”, before answering the priest, “I’m sorry Exalted One, but I wish for a magical contract to be drawn up, I know the price is one platinum, but I’m three gold short. As soon as my friends get here, you’ll receive the rest. I swear on the Gods, and if I don’t pay you the rest, you can have this.”
Handing him the coins and my Lucky Charm I caught a surprised look on his face. Looking over the item, “You crafted this, but how?”
“Time is of the essence, and I’ll tell you afterwards. Do we’ve an accord?” I asked. A look over my shoulder showed that the others had not entered yet.
“Agreed,” he said, and then asked what the contract should say. I had just finished talking when the others stepped into the temple. Luckily the four newest addition to the guild was not there, meaning One-Eye had caught up to the ladies and returned on his own. Which was perfect for me.
“Sorry Blaze, turns out they had ink and paper we could borrow. The good priest is already in the process of drawing up the first one,” I said with an apologetic smile.
“Goddamnit!” Blaze cursed out loud, earning an angry throat clear from the priest, as well as some condemning stares from the other priests in the temple. Somewhat chastened, he said, “Sorry.”
“The contract is finished,” the priest said, turning the parchment around so we could sign.
Taking the quill I signed on behalf of the guild. Turning around I held the quill out to Mister Oblivious, and asked, “Since you’re joining now, would you do the honours of signing the first one?”
I could see flash of suspicion or doubt in his eyes, but it was quickly gone. Revealing a smile, he said, “Of course, it’s an honour to be accepted by the Awakener.”
Bending down a bit to sign, meant his back was turned to me and I could not help but frown at him. Straightening his back, he turned back around. I managed to school my expression in time, I hoped.
“It’s signed, do you wish to invoke Qhemtyx blessing?” the priest asked.
“Not yet, I need to say something first,” I said and then looked straight in Mister Totally Screwed’s eyes. Letting all pretenses fall away, I revealed tooth baring grin, “I want to thank you and your employer for your donation.”
“My employer?” he asked, sounding mightily confused. Played his role perfectly.
“Tell whoever you work for that we don’t want to cause trouble, but we won’t tolerate spies.”
“Spies? What are you talking about?” Blaze was the one to ask.
Mister Soon To Be Gone’s mask of confusion slipped away, revealing the cold eyes I remembered from my previous timeline. Seeing that, I said to the priest, “Yes I want Qhemtyx to uphold the contract.”
“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m out of here,” the Dawnguard spy sneered and started walking away. The rest of my guild just watched in silence and confusion. When he was about to reach the door, an angelic creature appeared in front of him. Four meters tall, glowing white wings, clad in flowing white robes with gold embroidery. The face hidden by a hood, and when they spoke the voice was otherworldly; both pleasant and terrifying at the same time.
“You have been Judged to be in violation of the magical contract you signed with Damian Heosphoros. Your punishment is forfeiture of all belongings and banishment for three of your years, as stated in the contract,” it said.
“What the fuck is going on?” he asked with panic in his voice. He tried to back away from the angel, but seemed to be held by some invisible force.
“You are being punished. You intend to spy on your new guild for another master. The terms you agreed to stipulate this punishment,” the angel said devoid of any emotions.
“How the fuck do you know that?”
“The Almighty Qhemtyx read your mind, and decreed you in violation,” the angel said. They held out a hand and summoned a sword, wreathed in blue flames.
“I didn’t agree to being memory scanned! Mods!” Mister Truly Fucked started calling out.
“It’s in the EULA, you moron,” I said loud enough for him to hear. He turned around staring hatefully at me just as the sword passed through his neck. He disappeared in a shower of particles of light. His items falling to the ground. The angel vanished as suddenly as it had appeared, before the last coin hit the floor.
“What is a EULA?” the priest asked behind me.
‘Shit,’ I thought. I had just broken immersion. Turning to him, I said with a smile, “It’s what we call the agreement we all sign before being able to come here.”
“I see, and by the way you were wrong about one thing. The price for the magical contract is two platinum, because of the severity of the punishment for breaching it.”
“Oh, let me just go get them for you,” I replied with a grin. As I was walking to the pile of loot, I could hear the priest chuckle.
“Damian, what the hel—heck is going on?” Kira demanded.
“Remember how I told you about my former employer?” I asked vaguely.
“You mean the school?” One-Eye asked.
“No, the job he told us about after his arrest,” Blaze said, with obvious scepticism.
“Yes them. He worked for them, I recognized him. And I’m quite certain the Dusts work for them as well,” I said, while picking up the last coins. There were sixteen of them, and the armour and spear should sell for a bit more than a platinum.
“Why couldn’t you recognize them earlier then?” Blaze accused.
Sighing, I turned my attention to him, “This is not the place for this discussion. But can you remember everyone you’ve ever seen? Please remember that they’d a few hundred thousand members when I was with them. I can’t remember everyone.”
“But you could remember him? The guy they sent to spy on us? Bullshit,” Blaze asked full of doubt.
“The God of Judgement decreed him to be a spy, do not question Gods in their own house,” the priest said.
“Tell the others he got cold feet, and leave it at that. Then go run the Sewer Dungeon, I’ll join you there after finishing up here,” I ordered. Blaze was about to protest, but Ed stopped him by slapping the back of his head.
“What happened though?” Robin asked.
“The reason why the eyeballs and blood of the rabbits are so valuable is that they’re used in the manufacturing of magical ink and paper. It can be used for spells scrolls or magical contracts amongst other things,” I said.
The priest continued the explanation before I could. “Any magical contract is enforced by the Gods. So be careful of what you sign. The harsher the punishment, the higher the quality is needed.”
“Indeed, and here’s the rest of the coins,” I said and handed the priest the coins I owed. Looking at my guild, I said, “We can discuss this later in our world. Tell the four others I’m sorry to waste their time.”
Almost all of them looked like they were going to argue with me, but for once Ed was on my side. He ushered them out of the temple. I turned my attention to the priest who was now holding my Lucky Charm.
He looked at me, “Pray tell me, how you’ve crafted an item when not even Nophine, the Goddess of the Forge, knows about it.”
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After the death of Jessie's father, Makayla watches the slow disappearance of her friend. However, when a small note slips out of Jessie's locker promising the impossible, maybe there is hope for Makayla's closest and dearest after all.***Occasional strong languageFirst draft***🥈Lit Awards🥉Moonlight Awards🏅Punk Rock Awards🥉Ruby Awards🥉Mysterious Awards🥉The Aurora Awards: Frost Edition🥇The Butterfly Awards🥉Cosmic Awards🏅ACE Awards🥈Writer's Glory Awards🥇 LY Awards🥈Sunflower Awards🥇Adore You Awards🥇Pretty in Punk Awards🥉 Deli Awards
8 152Fate Overcharge (Stalled)
Rin Tohsaka, the young genious magus who, using the power of the holy grail, built an empire spanning the whole world, decides to use the power of the second sorcery to expand her empire to other realms and... Ehm, sorry, wrong story. Err, alright, starting again... Rin Tohsaka is the current head of the Tohsaka family and a likely master in the upcoming fifth grail war. She doesn't have a wish she wants granted, but she will fight to win. For if there is a battle to be fought, could a Tohsaka settle for any less than a complete victory? This is a fan fiction for the Fate/StayNight and an alternative rendition of the fifth grail war that introduces new characters, and shows never before seen sides of the old ones. Since this is a fan fiction, knowledge of the original works is needed to understand it. Watching stay/night or zero should be sufficient, but reading both works along with Hollow Ataraxia is recommended for not missing any details. (I won't assume the readers have read Hollow A.) - Warning: Tagged Mature(+15) mainly for violence and strong language. Nothing graphic, and still a lot milder than the original Visual Novel - Note1: I am trying to improve so constructive critisizm and random comments are welcome. Note2: Be warned! Update rate will likely be slow. How slow, I can't say. Note3: I don't consider any side works in the franchise as cannon. So if, for some reason, Nero is summoned, do not riot when he turns out to be a burly, hairy caster. (That won't happen!)
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