Chapter 4: ~The Things We Do For Love~

Five days passed in the blink of an eye. Nathan was never just sitting there. If he wasn't eating, he was watching demonstrations. If he wasn't watching, he was listening to lectures. Everything you'd ever need to know about internal energy, or as they put it, vim. Not just warrior techniques, they also taught him about various common methods for practicing multiple forms of combat. Nathan found it all incredibly fascinating.

The elderly pair had taken a shine to Nathan and saw fit to impart him with everything they knew. Because he couldn't really exercise yet they were just unloading tons of information on him. At first they had gone slow, but when Mistress realized that Nathan was able to recite things word for word after only telling it to him once — they sped the teaching up considerably.

Neither of the seasoned warriors had seen anything like it. Although practicing a preferred method, or discipline, wasn't difficult. Remembering how to cooperate with, or combat, different styles and techniques was something that normally took years. But here they were, speaking to a boy with incredible memory and deductive reasoning skills.

They even made a game of it, telling Nathan two weapons and their corresponding techniques while having him guess which would be at a disadvantage. Nathan's win to lose ratio was seven to two. Not perfect, but astounding none the less. Every moment they spent with the kid made them more and more hopeful for his future as a warrior.

The food that Master cooked was absolutely tasty. Nathan had decided at some point that he should also learn to cook. Good and healthy food was now one of his priorities, an essential key to happiness. Once a day Mistress would massage his shoulders and lower back, trying to undo the lingering psychological effects of his imprisonment.

Mistress even embarrassed him greatly by saying that a good woman would be the easiest way to get rid of his kinks. Mentioning a few of her single nieces — including Emma — just made it worse. Thanks to his reluctance Mistress made a false assumption and started to mention a few of her nephews instead, Nathan quickly shut that line of thinking down. Not that Nathan had anything against men who liked men, it was just that he found women far too alluring to bat for the other team — so to speak.

At some point Nathan mused that he should be a little thankful to his family. If it wasn't for the years of mental abuse, neglect and abandonment, he probably would've broken under the unjust treatment in Radison's foul castle dungeon.

Surprisingly enough, the resentment Nathan felt for his family grew more distant as he became closer to Master and Mistress. He had once read that time heals all wounds, but he hadn't realized that finding someone to care about could also be a remedy. It was pretty funny after all, watching Mistress give Master a German suplex for feeding him the fake medicinal meal and letting Nathan eat all of it.

Learning all about warriors — there was more to it than he had originally believed. Training through meditation was nearly as important as physical activity. Increasing your vim had obvious uses, just like mana.

On the sixth day — Velanis 7th — he had awoken to another hearty meal. Mistress claimed that it was time to start training, Nathan agreed. His body was filling back out by now, still nowhere near as plump as he had once been. More like an average person's build. Thankfully he had been getting some sun again. His once pale complexion was returning to a normal color.

When she had first told him to do some push-ups he went at it as quickly and eagerly as possible. That was a mistake that earned him a smack on the back of his head. She promptly informed Nathan that the point wasn't to tire out his muscles, endurance could be trained later. For now, they were building his foundation. Slowly was the key here. She wanted him to strain and rip his muscles by slowly doing exercises.

The elderly pair had decided to make him do strength training. Nathan didn't understand why they were having him slowly do physically intense training, that is, until the pain kicked in. Doing a push-up slowly was pretty awful. He could feel it as his muscles trembled — pain shooting through them. Although it hurt a decent amount, this was still nothing compared to what he'd been through before.

The elderly couple were both impressed with his willpower and fortitude, but they couldn't help feeling a bit sorrowful while considering how he had become so headstrong at such a young age. Needless to say, they were careful to stop him before he passed his limits and caused any permanent damage to his body. One after the other he was instructed to take different poses, do different exercises.

By the end of this sixth day his whole body was aching. There were plenty of new muscles he didn't even know existed. Those ones hurt the worst. While he was resting Master brought in a real medicinal meal. This one was to help him recover so that he could train daily, rather than taking breaks. Nathan wasn't sure how he felt about that, but chose to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

On the tenth day Mistress had claimed that it was time to test his beginning level of vim. So for two hours straight he calmly listened to her advice while trying to enter a meditative state. It was baffling to him, Nathan had a very logical mind so he couldn't easily let himself feel within — as she put it.

"Think of it like any other part of your body," she explained. "Just another muscle that needs to be trained. Something that's always there even if you don't know it is."

That line had helped him immensely. It only took a few more minutes for Nathan to notice thin strands running throughout his body. Something that wasn't visible, something intangible, yet real. When he first felt the vim within, there was a stream of invigoration that ran through his entire body.

Mistress quickly took notice and excitedly placed a hand on Nathan's chest after removing his shirt. A minute later she gave him a very pained look.

"I'm sorry Nathan," she said slowly, carefully. "With your inherent vim it would be a stretch to reach intermediate level within a decade. At most, by the time fifty years or so pass... you might be able to use techniques that let you jump a few meters or form a minor defensive aura."

Seeing her solemn expression, Nathan asked, "that bad huh?"

"Yeah," she sadly confirmed. "Not good."

"Well..." he started, "it isn't like I had high hopes to begin with. As long as I can live a normal life."

Mistress smiled fondly at Nathan. "I'm glad you're taking it well."

By day twelve he was working in the fields. Farming was physically demanding work. Plowing a large plot of land with nothing but a hoe took patience and effort. Digging ditches for aqueducts, herding horses and cattle, chopping down trees then digging up their roots — nothing was easy.

Master once told him that farming would increase his endurance, and the man had not been lying. Each day was easier than the first. Something that would've killed him before was doable now. To be honest, Nathan was happy for the first time in forever, content.

Then the fifteenth day — Velanis 16th — came. Along with it an urgent newsletter. Yesterday on Velanis 15th Queen Altea was assassinated during her annual parade through the streets of Radison. Feeling like he was no longer losing his mind was a good thing. Realizing something was indeed very wrong had been another thing.

Questions flooded Nathan's mind. How had it happened? Why was he suddenly one month in the past? Was it clairvoyance? Visions of the future? Or maybe time travel? The fact that his body had physically changed made him guess time travel, as absurd as it sounded.

In the end, whatever had happened didn't matter. He was thankful for it. Nothing too grand had really changed. The queen was still dead but he was free and alive. Good enough.

The news didn't stop there...

Velanis 18th — his mother, Lucretia, headmistress of the most prestigious magus school in Eritrea, leader of the magus city Valkfolgen... was dead. On Velanis 17th, just past noon, she had been attacked in her office by three unknown assassins who managed to elude capture. Nathan's father in Regis had survived an attempt on his life the day before that — Velanis 16th.

Nathan was at a loss, one after the other three leaders of the biggest cities on their continent, Rostma, had been attacked. Two were dead...

On Velanis 20th there was more news. His father, Darvos, leader of the artificer academy Regis, was dead. Valkfolgen and Regis — under siege by unknown armies and requesting reinforcements.

By now Emma had arrived. She was just as shocked as Nathan about the whole thing. He had been in a dungeon the first time around and didn't realize anything other than the queen dying had happened. Certainly not the untimely demise of his own parents.

"I can't believe it," he said pitifully. "What the hell is going on?"

Emma cursed under her breath. "Some assholes want the entire world to go up in flames," she answered spitefully. "That'd be my guess."

Nathan chuckled nervously as she gazed at him. "What?" he asked reluctantly.

"We could've at least warned the queen somehow."

"I doubt they would've listened to either of us," he said with indignation. "You didn't see the king like I did, it was almost like he didn't care that she was gone."

"You don't mean?"

Nathan nodded very slowly. "If I had to guess, I'd say he probably had something to do with it."

"Damn..." Emma scowled while cursing, "that isn't good. Altea always promoted peace, if the king set it up so that Telmarian Empire assassins killed her..."

Nathan's eyes snapped open. "War!" he shouted in surprise. Just like a damn story from one of his books — one of the worst ones. Plenty of pain and misery to go around.

Sure enough, two days later there was an official announcement. Not only had war been declared with the Telmarian Empire. That same Empire's own queen was as dead as a doornail. It seemed like the world was going insane, dead leaders and enraged citizens. Prestigious key locations subjected to unrelenting assault. All Nathan wanted was to settle down peacefully somewhere, but that didn't seem likely at this point.

All he could do was continue on with his daily life among Emma's family. Nearly twenty of them had gathered in the mansion by now. Some weren't too pleased with his presence, but they couldn't go against their elders. Everyone was on edge and discussing if they should aid Valkfolgen or Regis. These people were warriors and they weren't about to sit the fight out.

Another day passed, they had decided to aid Regis. On Velanis 23rd they all prepared to leave. Nathan had decided to join them, even if he wouldn't be much help. These people had been more of a family to him in just a few days than his own had ever been.

As the convoy made its final preparations to board one Regis-bound train, a thundering stampede sounded. Heading in the direction of Gureld was a massive army. Everyone was too dumbfounded to act until Mistress shouted, bringing them back to their senses.

The enemy forces consisted of a terrifying forward vanguard. Men clad in rust-colored armor rode towering beasts — warhorses, bulls, even razorback elephants. It was a terrifying sight and he could do nothing but watch as the horde demolished Gureld.

Emma's family — the Kristof Clan — was the only force putting up a good fight. They didn't have any sort of formation, but each person was a skilled warrior.

Some feats, like using a technique to lunge meters in a single bound were amazing. Master did something he'd never forget, tear a four meter high column straight out of the library facade and lob it faster than his eyes could follow. Two elephants toppled with a single throw, their riders — dead.

The fighting was fierce and people were dying. Civilians were slaughtered mercilessly.

Then it happened, the force following this malicious vanguard arrived. Magus, powerful magus combatants poured onto the battlefield working in tandem with the vanguard. Alongside the magus were men armed with artificer rifles and pistols...

Nathan cried out in sorrow as he watched Master get gored from behind by a demonic bull while shielding himself from a hail of mana bullets. Mistress and Emma perished under a compounding spell, and . He could feel the heat from violent torrents of wind as that mighty spell swept across Gureld.

When he sensed someone coming up behind him, Nathan turned slowly. Standing there was one of the enemies. This person silently held up a rifle and aimed calmly. Nathan cursed as he ran at the man. He attempted to chant a during his advance, but before he could finish speaking the bullet was fired. Once again, the world went dark.

Nathan's final thoughts were that if this was how things would be... he'd rather die. The people he finally formed some small attachment to were dead.

The scent of freshly baked donuts roused Nathan from his slumber. Outside — past some iron bars — one rather attractive woman in form-fitting clothes handled a steaming box. Nathan slowly, fearfully opened his eyes. It happened again, except this time he had died. Time had rewound...

After sitting up, Nathan silently gazed at Emma. His hands tightened into fists as he looked away from her.

"It isn't that bad," Emma said while looking in his direction. "You'll only be here for a few days. Nothing to cry over."

Nathan quickly looked back at her, tears streaming down his face. Emma was taken aback. The confusion and sorrow on Nathan's visage was far more than she had expected.

"Really..." she said quickly, "it wasn't even much of a crime. I swear you'll be alright."

Nathan bit his lip, then smiled at Emma. Letting his hands fall loose reminded him of the illusionary glyph ring. After removing it he wiped away the tears. Going over everything he knew now, Nathan tried to gather his thoughts. For some reason he was back in Velanis 1st... Velanis — the worst month ever. Short-lived freedom. The world at war.

He'd finally found some people that he really got along with, and they were dead... dying. Nothing he could do about it. What could he do?

If time keeps looping him back like this — Nathan checked his body — maybe he could do something. He could still feel his vim, every muscle on his body was noticeably stronger than it had been before. As a single person it would probably be impossible, especially at his age. One thought however, urged him forward.

I'm not just a kid, I am Nathaniel Lucas Verasparion Dela'marthus.

It was possible. If he managed to do something significant maybe Gureld wouldn't be attacked. Maybe the Kristof clan wouldn't get annihilated. As he thought of Master and Mistress, of Emma — Nathan made his resolve. Even if he had to use the Dela'marthus name and all of its connections. Walking through hell and dying a thousand times wouldn't stop him from saving them.

"I'm sorry," he said, now at peace with his decision. "Bad dreams, that's all."

"Oh, you scared me there for a moment," she replied, still concerned. "Nice ring by the way."

Nathan tossed the cosmetic ring to Emma. "I don't need it anymore, and I'm very sorry for what I did yesterday."

Emma toyed with the trinket and asked, "why did you do it?"

Nathan took in a deep breath. "I was trying to avoid a path of adversity. I was afraid to confront the demons of my past," he answered honestly. "But I've come to my senses now. I know what I have to do."

Emma laughed nervously while taking the ring on and off.

"I know I'm supposed to stay here for seven days," he said politely. "But if I stay here any longer it may be too late."

Nathan got off the bed and knelt down in front of Emma. Through the cast iron bars he asked, "would you please release me so that I may get there in time?"

Emma smiled at him and unlocked the gate. "No more fireworks in the bus station, okay?"

Emma gasped as Nathan stood up and took her in his arms. With a powerful, lingering embrace he nearly crushed her. Nathan choked back his tears and let go when she chuckled nervously.

"Goodbye officer," he spoke with a trembling voice.

Emma had sensed something was still amiss, but let him go anyway. He was a stranger to her after all.

Sitting aboard a train heading for Valkfolgen was unnerving. Nathan was on his way to a place that he once swore he'd never set foot in.

The plan now was to go there and watch while staying out of the way. He wanted to know everything that happened here, his mother's demise, the city's siege. He needed to know more. After he was satisfied with what he knew — Nathan would go to Regis... another place he once swore to never approach.

He'd noticed by now that the way people were looking at him was different. Instead of the slightly overweight guy he'd once been, Nathan had become a lithe and handsome noble. His emerald eyes and quality robes were a dead giveaway. He hadn't trained for very long, but Mistress and Master were very effective instructors. Between the medicinal food, and the fact that he was recovering from being starved — Nathan had undergone a full transformation.

Nathan was thankful for the cosmetic ring. Without it he may have had trouble explaining his changing appearance to Emma. If he could learn some illusionary magic maybe he'd be able to fool people who had known him personally into thinking that way too.

*cough cough*

A girl with long, flowing, silken blonde hair had walked into the compartment Nathan was in, he had been alone until now.

"Don't mind me," he said in a strained voice. "Plenty of empty seats."

The girl took a seat and started to clean her glasses with a small linen cloth. Nathan caught a whiff of lavender when she walked by.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Training," he answered while switching arms. "I'm still not very good at it."

The girl ran her petite white hands along a windowsill. After Nathan switched positions again, this time with his back arched, she asked, "you are going to be a magus, aren't you?"

"I plan to study magic," he answered quietly. "But that shouldn't limit me to only using magic."

Nathan thought back to the battle, the slaughter he had just seen. Three men stood out from the enemy forces. Lightly armored spell casters using warrior techniques, it had been an eye-opening experience. Most people focus on a specific field due to how long it takes to train, but Nathan felt like he just may have plenty of time — what with the whole looping back in time thing.

She actually had the gall to laugh at him. "I'm sorry," she said with impudence. "It just seems foolish to me. A magus training as a warrior."

"It'll seem foolish until a man uses spell shields and foot techniques to rip your throat out," he countered pointedly.

Color drained from her face.

Nathan thought about another aspect of his talent. He was a piss poor warrior, but his confluence was insane. Some larger artificer devices required multiple people to power their mana crystals. But with his confluence it should be child's play to do that sort of thing alone using ambient mana. Another reason to go to the steamwork academy, Regis.

"I'm sorry," she said humbly. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Nathan got up and took a seat across from her. "You didn't offend me," Nathan retorted in an apologetic voice. "I was only telling you the truth. Forgive me for being blunt right now, I'm seriously on edge here."

The girl extended her hand, Nathan shook it firmly.

"I'm Lisa Devroe, this'll be my fourth year at Valkfolgen."

"Call me Nathan," he responded politely. "This'll be my first year here — you don't look twenty..."

"I started attending early at fourteen years old." Lisa absolutely beamed with confidence. "Got scouted... I should be eighteen?"

"Why is that a question?" he asked with an amused tone.

"I've never been very good with keeping track — know any spell structures first year?"

", , and . Nothing special."

Lisa nodded in approval. When Nathan asked what he should expect upon arriving she started spitting out all sorts of details. His first day would basically be administration, dorm housing, getting his schedule, and listening to the headmistress give a welcoming speech. Afterward there would be a huge party for the first year students to attend.

The first years shouldn't actually know any magic yet. She promptly informed him that the next few months would just be learning about magical theory. Ways to create a spell program, why they work the way they do, why you can cast them without chanting once you know a spell well enough to program it. How to effectively manipulate a spell.

Nathan had already figured most of that out on his own — programming was something he'd have to look up though. If he'd told Lisa that all three of his very basic spells were the result of self study without any books — she'd have been impressed. Nathan was only able to watch people through a window use them a few times before extrapolating how to structure the spells himself, and that took years.

Basically, the first month of classes would be absolutely pointless for him to attend. When he said that to Lisa she quickly agreed. If it wasn't for the fact that ignoring them would probably get him expelled in a few months, she'd have even told him to skip those classes and self study.

"What are the four basic principles of using magic?" she asked, obviously way too into this.

"Drawing, confluence, manipulation, and structure," he answered.

"Explain please."

"Drawing refers to pulling your own internal mana out effectively..." Nathan started, "confluence is your ability to draw in ambient mana from the environment. Manipulation is your ability to control any mana you've gathered and structure refers to any basic principle you enforce upon mana, creating spells."

Basic spell structure was deceptively easy. Once you knew that mana could be used a certain way it was as simple as learning the correct symbols then activating them to cast a spell. Structuring a fireball for instance, literally took the symbols for projectile, flames, and sphere. The process for most people was altering their internal mana to form symbols, then activating the spell. That was easier to do than drawing and manipulating ambient mana.

As far as magical symbols go, there had always been a set amount ever since they were first discovered. He wasn't exactly clear on how that happened, he just knew it happened way too long ago for him to care about it.

The hard part about structure comes not from learning the spells, but manipulating them properly without blowing yourself up. After activation there's a small window of opportunity to manipulate your spell's power or effect, but that's incredibly difficult to pull that off so it's normal to do any tuning before hand. Like, say, making an entire villa spontaneously combust by spending an unholy amount of time on your spells structure before casting it.

Lisa nodded in approval at Nathan. "Good, very good. How's your drawing?" she asked.

Nathan had to laugh. Drawing tended to be the most important aspect of being a magus. Pulling out your own easily manipulated mana quickly could be the difference between life or death after all.

"I'm a desolate one," he answered proudly.

Lisa gasped in absolute shock. "I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry about it." Nathan leaned across the compartment, and whispered, "I'm pretty frickin' good with confluence."

Lisa tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at Nathan. "I've never heard of a magus using pure confluence. There's a reason why desolate ones are all artificers and warriors... I can barely get spells, very basic spells, to function properly when using ambient mana."

"That isn't an issue for me," he said in a detached manner. "I've never used spells the normal way, so I don't even know what I'm missing out on. My biggest problem will be raising mental endurance. It isn't fun passing out after holding for about five minutes."

"Five minutes is three above the norm for first years." She chuckled nervously. "You do know that right?"

Nathan looked at her, honestly shocked. "I guess things aren't as completely grim as they seem."

For the rest of the ride he tuned Lisa out. The hum of a train sliding across tracks was something he could certainly get used to. It was almost comforting at the moment — being here, being safe. The only problem was seeing Master, Mistress, and Emma die again every time he closed his eyes. Their deaths by far outweighed his years of built up resentment towards the Dela'Marthus family, his family.

If it wasn’t for the fact that he’d found people to protect, maybe Nathan would’ve just run away from it all. His hero complex went down in flames after the way his heroics were rewarded in Radison. If it wasn't for the fact that the people he'd grown a little attached to could still be saved... he'd rather be dead.

It wasn't until now that Nathan truly understood what seven years in a tower had done to him. Not to mention the episode of betrayal over Altea's assassination. Despite knowing that his fixation on the Kristof clan was unhealthy, he couldn't help himself. If Nathan had to put it into words, he'd say that they had brought his quickly dying heart back to life — and he loved them for it. Their random acts of kindness had saved him — more than they could possibly ever know, or in this case, would know. It was almost too much for him to bear, knowing that they had already forgotten him.

Hopefully he’d manage to save the Kristof Clan before this loopy time business ends. If it wasn’t for Emma he probably would’ve spent this month living in peace, over and over again. Oh well, facing mother wasn’t something he’d enjoy, but he’d do it for the Kristof Clan.

Nathan snickered when he realized that they may not recognize each other. His body had changed, and seven agonizing years have passed since Lucretia and Darvos locked him in that desolate tower after all.

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