I was alone in the demon king’s office.

Speaking of which, if there were only demons in this world, why did he call himself the ‘Demon King’? Back on Earth, it’s not like we called our kings ‘Human Kings’ or something. Was he the ‘Demon King’ because he was literally king of the entire Demon World? How big was this world anyway? Did any of this actually matter?

Probably not.

In any case, the trial was over now. Goldie attacking me was basically an admission of guilt, after all. I was clothed again, and all in all, I felt pretty good. Not everyone could say they got to be a demon lawyer and win a fake-as-fuck trial. That was going to be a good conversation starter.

Of course, I wouldn’t be able to have that conversation with anyone until the king sent me back. What the hell was taking so long?

Just as I was ready to start rummaging through the king’s desk from pure boredom, I heard the sound of the door opening. I turned to see the king, Yaika, Minzfel, Brad, and Violetta pour into the room.

The king seemed surprised to see me. “Oh, uh, Mr. Allard…” Did he already forget that he asked me to wait for him?

“I’ve been here a while, you know.”

“I apologize for the… delay.” The king cleared his throat, walking past me to sit at his desk. The other four moved near him. They all just stared at me like I was supposed to be in charge here. “Would you… uh, mind standing still for a moment?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Stand still…?”

Before the last syllable could even leave my mouth, a swirling ball of black energy appeared in the king’s hand. Despite its size, it sounded like a fucking jet engine. A second later, it flew straight at me, ripping into me before… disappearing.

“What the fuck!?” I screamed.

Once again, I had been rendered completely nude. Violetta panicked, covering her eyes. Yaika didn’t even attempt to hide that she was staring directly at my nether regions. Whatever her intentions, I wasn’t a fan of the crazed look in her whirlpool eyes. I covered myself with my hands.

The king let out a sigh. “My apologies, Mr. Allard, but it seems my suspicions were true.”

“What suspicions? Why does everyone keep burning my clothes off?”

The king motioned to Brad and tentacles shot out of his body. One wrapped around my waist, pulling me into the air. Two others forced a button-up shirt and a blazer on me. Two more put dress pants on me and slapped on a belt. Perhaps for the first time in history, a tentacle monster was putting on clothes rather than removing them. What a time to be alive.

“Whoa bro,” Brad said. “You clean up pretty good.” Other than the slime stains, I suppose I didn’t look so bad. Wait… I was getting distracted.

The king leaned on his desk. “It appears that our magic… doesn’t affect you.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that,” I said. I had actually thought it might have been the special table that protected me, but his explanation made a lot more sense. “Can you send me back to my world now?”

The king exchanged a look with his hell spawn. “Well… that’s the thing…” He looked like a doctor that was holding off on giving someone terrible news.

“Wait…” Oh god. It just hit me. “If magic doesn’t affect me… you won’t be able to transport me back, will you?”

“Huh?” The king narrowed his eyes. “Oh, uh, yes. Indeed. You took the words right out of my mouth.”

“…That’s not what you were going to say, is it?” Even if it had only been two days, I had been around the king long enough to tell when he was lying. It was a fairly common occurrence.

The king leaned back in his chair. “Hmm… how do I put this?”

“We don’t have any way of sending you back,” Yaika said, blunt as usual.

“We’re not even sure how you ended up here in the first place,” the king added. “Nothing like this has happened before…”

At this point, I was too exhausted to even be mad. “You… don’t know how to summon people?”

“That’s right.”

I let out the deepest sigh I had ever sighed.

“We still appreciate what you’ve done for us today,” the king said, regaining some of his composure. “If it weren’t for you, we would have executed an innocent woman.” Yeah, and you almost killed me. Don't bother mentioning that though, it's not important.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done, Mr. Ryley.” Violetta took a step forward. “You believed in me when no one else would… I’ll never forget that.” Except I hadn’t really believed in her. I was actually pretty sure she did it for most of the trial. Yeah… It would probably be best to keep that to myself.

Minzfel, who had been completely silent up until that point finally opened his big stupid teenage mouth. “You… weren’t all that bad out there.” Okay, maybe he wasn’t so stupid this time.

“I think that these ‘laws’ and ‘trials’ will be good for my kingdom.” The king held out his hand. “Mr. Allard, I would like to appoint you as the head of my brand new ‘law squad’.”

“Pass,” I said. “I’d rather find someone that can send me back to my world. Thanks for the offer anyway.” Yeah, fuck that. I wasn’t going to put myself through another shit show.

The king frowned. “That’s unfortunate. I suppose we’ll just have to proceed with your trial then.”

“Uhh… excuse me?”

“You entered my castle, destroyed an expensive statue, and ruined my son’s birthday party,” the king said. “If you agreed to continue your work with us, I was thinking of pardoning all that, but I suppose we’ll just have to have a trial instead…”

Fucking fuck. That’s what this whole goddamn meeting was about from the start. I wanted to start yelling, but I knew that making a scene would just end with me under the guillotine again.

“Wait a second,” I said. “I was, uh, just kidding about all that. Of course I’ll help. H-How could I turn down helping such… wonderful people?” Yeah, full on kiss-ass mode. I wasn’t proud of it.

“Yay! More Ryley!” Yaika clapped her hands together. Yay. More me.

“I’ve very glad to hear that!” The king smiled. “Don’t worry, I will provide everything you require. Housing close to the palace, a salary, an assistant…”

“An assistant?” I asked.

Violetta walked forward, her magenta hair brushing past her horns with each step. She stopped right in front of me, and took my hands in hers. “It’s a pleasure to work with you, Mr. Ryley!”

“Wait a minute! H-How can Violetta be his assistant!?” Minzfel’s voice practically made my ears bleed. “What… What about the Succy Girls!?”

“Unfortunately, Cyana and I decided to disband the group.” Violetta pouted. “Even if she was a killer, I don’t think anyone could replace Goldie. It’s the end for us, I’m afraid.”

Minzfel’s eyes exploded with tears. “W-What about going solo?”

“I don’t think I’m really cut out for a solo career,” Violetta said. “But that’s okay! I have a new career in mind.”

“And so… you think you should be my assistant?” I asked.

“I was inspired by you today, Mr. Ryley! I want to help others in trouble like you helped me.”

“A-Allard!” Minzfel’s bloodshot eyes met with mine. “You… You…”

“Your majesty…” I could feel a smirk forming on my face. “Would it be possible for Violetta to live with me? I’ll need her nearby.” I glanced back over at the prince. “For work, of course.”

“Is that alright, Ms. Violetta?” the king asked.

Violetta nodded. “Absolutely!”

“ALLARD!”

Okay, so I might have just shot myself in the foot a little by asking for the airhead to be my roommate. Still, if it meant pissing Minzfel off, it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

And then just like that, I was the head of the ‘law squad’.

Yeah, I was out of here as soon as I figured out how interdimensional travel worked. That wouldn’t take too long… right?