Imagine my surprise, investigating loud thumping noises coming from nearby only to stumble across this scene:

A tree flails about wildly, swinging its massive branches like massive clubs. At its feet is a massive puddle of muddy, rust red water.

As I watch it picks up a giant lizard corpse, and drives it into the ground like a nail. It takes 12 blows due to how the corpse squishes unpleasantly instead of disappearing into the earth. 12 earth shaking blows.

Now I know the source of the thumping, and I slowly back towards the door and get ready to see if I can erect a barricade of plant matter. That is, until a connection forms between me and an airborne creature.

I've never seen anything like it. It's a massive glowing crystal bee. I'd compare its mass with that of a human head. But it speaks out loud instead of telepathically. In english too? I can't hear, but I pick up the words through Herman, sitting on my lamp.

"Azzz you can see, I've been buzy. You and I both had lots of problemzzzz, so I decided to solve a few ovvv them. Also, here izzz my new friend!"

I can see the internal organs of the bee and its mouthparts flexing in rather disturbing ways. It's unsettling. I think I know who this is, but I'm not confident enough to put away my flamethrower.

"We talked, and he decided he wanted to be named Blackjack. Let's have a full round ovvvv introductionzzz. Brian, meet Blackjack. Also gazzze upon the glory that is the new Elizzzaa."

I can't help but notice the 4 inch long crysalline stinger she now bears flexing menacingly as she talks. A drop of glowing blue venom drips from the end. I'm immediately brought out of my reverie when Blackjack begins waving wildly and starts yelling.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Eliza twitches her antennae.

"I'm sorry, I've been attempting to teach him words, but he seems to enjoy yelling instead. That was supposed to be something like 'Nice to meet you' if I'm reading this right. I have a few gifts for you, courtesy of Blackjack here."

"I have to admit to feeling a little overwhelmed. I thought I was going to get my bark tanned again, honestly. FInding you here and a friendly face.. wait no he doesn't have a face... a friend is kind of blowing my mind. At least I hope we can be friends, Blackjack."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"...OK. Yeah, just lay it all on me Eliza, this is weird."

"Ah, yes. Well I've solved a few of our problems. Now you can come in the swamp without getting mobbed by giant lizards, for one. I'm pretty sure Blackjack killed them all. We saved you 5 soul cores, also. The rest are either buried in the mud or I gave them to Blackjack."

"Very nice."

"Also, I am now strong enough to participate in real combat. You needn't worry about my safety any longer. And of course, the most important part. Blackjack has agreed to house and protect the bees who do not wish to risk their lives in battle. He can't leave the room because he's too big, but the lighting in here is decent, there's lots of flowering plants, and none will dare bother Blackjack."

"Yes, I'm certain no one will mess with Blackjack." I say, eyeing his giant swinging limbs and subtly shifting backwards.

"Well, what do you think?"

"You've obviously put a lot of thought and work into this. How could I turn you down? Let's do it."

"Excellent! I'll direct the hive. You're not the most social creature, but I'm more than capable of covering for you."

A few hours later, most of the bees resided within a hollow towards the top of Blackjack's trunk. The beginnings of another hive.

"Excellent. If we travel only with volunteerzzz, there will be no need to worry about thoze who do not wish to fight. Blackjack will care for them, he izz a mighty tree."

Blackjack's leaves rustle and I swear I can feel a blush through the link. Awkward....

"Well I don't think he'll fit through the door or the halls, so he'll have to stay here. If the workers are staying here, how will we keep the others fed?"

"That'z what you're concerned about? We can come back and reztock, I know you've heard of jarzz, go find a container in the kitchen for them to fill up while we're gone."

"Oh, yeah. That one's pretty easy. Well if we're making a military unit, it needs a cool name. Also who's going to keep things running smooth here?"

A mental transmission reaches out to me, and I see Herman, in his green fuzzy glory sitting on a tree branch watching. I thought he was a leaf! "I can watch the flock. The light here is strong, worry not. They will grow and prosper in the light."

Well that's one problem solved. Herman is kinda weird but I think I can trust him. Names though. What should we call the unit?

"What about the First Volunteer Drone Wing?"

"Isn't that a little sexist? I'm not a Drone, after all."

"It was just a dumb joke. Let's keep it simple. First, who's volunteering?"

Three bees alight next to Eliza. It's the delinquents. They must have already discussed this at some point, because that was fast. Wait, no, a link confirms their willingness is fairly new. I sense some... admiration for Eliza, and some... desire to... not be bored? Is this a normal reason to join the military? Whatever. I guess I won't turn down recruits who think Eliza is cool. Honestly Eliza is kind of cool.

"All right, no need to shake things up I guess. There's four of you, so I guess you can be Flight Alpha. Eliza is your... Um... Captain. She can be Captain Eliza, and her orders are absolute."

"Sounds good"

"Ok"

I can already tell this is going to be a shitshow... But it's my shitshow so I will own it.

I look forward, making plans. Maybe I'm going to live after all.

Suddenly a flickering purple portal opens and a giant metallic centipede falls out. It rolls around disoriented for a bit, then burrows into the earth with such speed that its entire length disappears in under two seconds. It was as big around as a human head and at least ten feet long.

"Uh, Did anyone else see that?"