I have no idea how long I stayed there on my knees, staring vacantly at the black screen in front of me. It was simply too much to bear, and only two questions filled my mind, ‘Is it coming?' and, 'Am I insane?’

On the one hand, it was like a dream come true. Who hasn’t dreamed of waking up one day and having the world turned into a videogame? Where experience and stats were tangible things that accumulated day after day? Where effort was always met with a reward? Where all you needed to do to succeed in life was to put one foot in front of the other, and the rest would fall into place?

Because that was all this could be. Given the context of a goblin, a literal fucking dragon, and that popup this morning, it had to be a game. Unless some deranged deity had decided to fuck with everyone and announce the arrival of monsters and ominous towers of doom with vibrant, blue, holographic alerts that looked like something out of a video game. In which case, all bets were off, and I would get the worst of both worlds: no experience or skills and a fucking dragon for a neighbor. A pure fantasy world was absolutely the worst-case scenario right now. Well, second worst. There was still the possibility I was insane, and there weren’t a whole lot of ways to test that.

“Status. Help. Menu. Player info. Player Stats. Talents. Skills. Inventory. Alt F-Four. Control Shift Escape! Admin! Game Master!” I stated each world clearly and went through every command I knew. I went through all the hand gestures from every VR game I have ever played that would bring up a menu. Absolutely nothing happened.

If I was hallucinating and killed a goblin, what would I do if it was actually a small child? How could I possibly know for sure? I could let the goblin attack first, but as weak as I am, what if it killed me? If I did let it attack me first, how would I even know I wasn’t hallucinating that part too? If the cops came and dragged me away, would I even realize they were cops? Would I just see some orcs breaking down my door? Then I had an idea. It was an idea so ludicrous that I wondered if it was proof I genuinely was insane.

Ten minutes later, I was hammering on my neighbor’s door with the hilt of a katana I had won in Bellum Aeternam’s Tyrannical PVP tournament as well as ringing her doorbell and intercom nonstop. I was completely naked, with my little friend flopping about as I pounded the hilt on the door of the little old lady who lived next door to me. She never left her apartment. Ever. I only knew that because I had bumped into her very disgruntled caretaker a few times over the years that I lived here. She was completely healthy for an old woman apparently but had convinced social services she needed disability and a caretaker rather than just retirement social security. From what the man had told me, nothing would get her off her couch short of an apocalypse, and I thought it was safe to assume she would call the cops if there were a naked man with a sword screaming obscenities at her door.

This seemed like my only chance to do something so insane that cops would come and haul me away without a single shred of doubt if the world hadn’t ended. For the first time in my life, I hoped desperately that I would be dragged away by police officers and thrown in a padded cell. If cops didn’t come to take me away, I could only assume this was all real, and that meant the dragon was real too.

So I screamed horrible things about her mother, about how I was going to stab her, about how I had forgotten to put my tinfoil hat on this morning and the aliens were making me do this, but absolutely nothing happened. These apartments were well soundproofed, but not that well soundproofed. You could still hear someone knocking, let alone pounding on your door, and the intercom was spamming her with 10-second bursts of profanity and vulgar threats. Even if the cops didn’t come, security sure as hell would. That would be preferable, actually. Cops might shoot me, but security was only allowed to use tasers inside the building.

It looked like she wasn’t in… and that probably meant something horrible had happened. She could also be terrified and quietly calling the cops. But still... Perhaps she died, or she was brought up on fraud charges? The absence of proof is not proof of absence. At least, I think that’s how the saying goes. Just as I turned to move on to another neighbor’s door, I saw a goblin staring at me from the hallway corner where I had run into it before.

Its lower jaw hung limp while its eyes were wide open, and as horrifying as that gaping maw was, the creature was clearly dumbstruck. With some effort, I pried my eyes from those needle-like teeth and examined the creature. It didn’t seem to be the same one as before unless, of course, it had changed clothes, which was entirely possible. The last one had been wearing a t-shirt, but this one only wore a leather loincloth and held a large kitchen knife in one hand.

“Prepare to die, foul beast!” I roared as I charged the green monster.