The dream came back to Rich then, and he backpedaled hard, eyes glued to the moving drawing. “How...” he gasped. “How the hell are you here?”

“Wasn't easy. Or voluntary, for that matter,” the thing said. “But now that you'd mention it, I'd like to not be here. And I think you can help me with that.”

Rich shook off his crawling feeling of dread. This was a game. He was imagining things. He'd had a fever or something earlier, and misremembered where he stopped playing, that was all. He'd run into this guy before he logged off and mistaken it for a dream, obviously.

Now that the shock had worn off, he knew how to approach this. “So let me guess. You're a trapped and inscrutable powerful evil.”

“Evil? I don't believe in that concept, really. I'm just a business man, when you get down to it—”

“And you want me to free you. By cutting a bargain that'll give me... let me guess, tons of power?”

“You would become more powerful, yes— wait, I don't like where this is going, here...”

“Yeah no. Not going to let you out. Seeya.” Rich turned and walked away.

“Wait! Hold on! I just... hold on, I'm not... give me a chance, here! I bear you no mallets!”

Rich stopped and turned back. “Mallets?”

“Yes, none of those whatsoever.”

“Are you sure you're using the right word?”

The chalk-outline business suit facepalmed without a face or a palm.

Rich left before the thing could say another word.

You have rejected the mark of Nial'https!

His hand twitched, and he glared down at it to see black veins unraveling from the errant limb and spiraling upward into nothingness.

“Freaky,” he decided, and kept walking. These caverns weren't at all familiar, but he tried to look for a part that he recognized from his trip with Geebo.

And after about half an hour, he was certain something was following him.

Whirling around, growling, Rich roared down the cave tunnel, daring whatever was sneaking along behind him to come out and fight him. He could go for a brawl right now, to work off some of this crappy day!

But instead what he got was a frightened shriek, and a tiny, familiar form rushing forward, waving its hands in warning.

“Great one, please no!” Geebo whined. “Something might come!”

LUCK+1

“There you are,” Rich said. “Where did you go? I was worried about you.”

Geebo stopped and stared at him.

“Come on, let's go back to the door now,” Rich tried a smile. “I think I know how to solve the gate.”

“Are... you well, Little Great One?” Geebo asked.

Rich considered. “I think I might be sick. And I'm having trouble remembering stuff.”

“Oh, okay,” Geebo nodded. “Geebo understands. Do you want to rest? Geebo can be a pillow. Will curl up so you may lay your head down if you want.”

That was kind of weird. “You do this a lot?”

“For your mother at times. Great one's head was very heavy. Geebo nearly suffocate sometimes. Good for building constitution! But your head quite light! Probably not take any damage.”

“Ah... no, no thank you Geebo,” Rich said. “I'm good. Let's just get through this. Maybe we can find a boss to fight.”

Fortunately, Geebo knew the way back. And once there, Rich called up his Echo and the little chart he'd made for the symbols— the gates. “Okay,” he said as he stared at the lines, and traced each one down. “You need a value of 1 and this one is lit, so you won't be a Nor gate...”

Rich didn't get shocked this time, not even once. And as he clicked the last symbol into place, words appeared to celebrate his victory.

INT+1

INT+1

INT+1

With a groan, and a pattering of dust from above, the door trembled and split. A previously hidden seam appeared in the middle as it bulged outward, and opened to either side. The carving of the robed man was right in the middle, and his arms spread out as if looking for an embrace.

Rich flashed back to the whisperer in the darkness, and the chalk outline, and shuddered.

He noticed that opening this door had done plenty for his intelligence, but nothing for his wisdom. This wasn't a wise course, obviously. But it was the way out, so it wasn't like he had a choice.

“Meh, the worst thing this place can do is kill me,” he said.

“What? No!” Geebo said. “Please don't die! You is reason Geebo still alive!”

“Hey, it's okay,” Rich reassured him. “You saved my life a few times too, so we're even and everything.”

“No, it is not that. Draggits serve dragons! Draggits exist to serve dragons! With no dragon to serve, draggits have no purpose. No reason to be.” Geebo's neck frills quivered. “No point.”

“Why do you serve dragons?” Rich squinted at him. “Why do draggits do this?”

Geebo stopped. “Is a very long story,” he said. “Maybe not time to tell it while we are in front of open vault full of eldritch abomination?”

“That's... actually a very good point,” Rich admitted. He looked back through the vault. It was just more cavern on the other side, didn't look any different, but there was a weird smell. He didn't know what it was, hadn't encountered it before.

Well, he thought, it's not getting any less weird the more I stand here.

Mustering what courage he could, Rich headed into the unknown.

The first few steps down the revealed passage weren't too surprising. Cave walls, a few broken stalactites, water on the floor... pretty much everything he'd seen to date.

Then there was the door.

For a second, Rich thought it marked the end of the cave. But as he got closer, he saw it was hanging in midair, perhaps a few hundred feet away. No doorframe, just a broken old wooden door, splintered and broken and open revealing a darkness that even his Dragonseye couldn't pierce.

“Um,” Rich said, hauling up short. “Is that good?”

“Is a door,” Geebo said, voice quavering a bit. “Is probably good for somebody. Not very likely good for us.”

“Let's go around that,” Rich said, heading toward the wall. “And get ready to run if anything comes through.”

WIS+1

Nothing did. And when they got around to the other side of it, it wasn't there. Blinking, Rich headed back and there it was again. He moved his head a few inches to the left, and it was gone.

Okay, after the bag of holding trick that Geebo pulled, I don't know why this creeps me out so far, he thought. Perhaps it was because the door was broken... it was obviously messed up, and he had the feeling that anything that went through the door wouldn't come out again. Or if they did it'd be like that one movie he'd seen where the scientist had had a teleporter accident, and only half of him had showed back up.

Whatever the reason, he put it behind him. And as Geebo pattered along at his side, the cavern changed. Square holes appeared in the wall heading off down narrow side passages. They looked melted, and they ranged from volleyball-sized to big enough to park a plane inside. Blackened mushrooms grew in strange patterns, and Rich identified the smell that had been bugging him; sort of a combination of mold and burnt food.

Next to him, Geebo sneezed.

“Yeah, it's pretty rank,” Rich said. He didn't spare the draggit a glance, keeping his eye on the dark tunnels. They were set in patterns, symmetrical on either side. He was good with patterns, good at finding the meaning behind them, but there were no clues here. No context, no reason for these that he could see. They'd obviously been made afterward, so someone had put them there for a reason.

And then something howled.

Long and mournful and deep, it reverberated from every tunnel at once. Rich stopped, and his wings snapped open, almost knocking Geebo to the ground.

“Aaaah, no!” Geebo's voice was higher-pitched than normal, and Rich whipped his neck around in time to catch a blue '35' escaping from his head and drifting up through the roof of the cavern.

Blue? What's blue? It's damage, but to which pool?

And then the howl was answered, and the volume rose along with the pressure against his ears.

You are affected by the Hound of Tinderloss' howl!

You take 8 Sanity damage!

You have resisted the Hound of Tinderloss' howl!

You take 0 Sanity damage!

WIS+1

“I'm not afraid of you!” Rich yelled, whipping his head around the cave, glaring at the side tunnels. The Hounds had waited until he was right in the middle of the tunnels to spring their ambush. And he'd played enough games to know what would happen next. “Geebo, guard my back!” he commanded and whirled, moving in a circle, hoping the little guy wasn't too drained by the howl.

Even so, the first one almost had him. It burst from a passage just ahead of his turn, and he barely got his mouth oriented toward it in time. “Burninate!” Rich shouted, and the flames roared out to cook the onrushing monster.

Your Burninate skill is now level 4!

A bright red '105' exploded out of the flames as the creature crashed to the floor mere feet away from its draconic prey. It howled and thrashed and lashed out with its legs, and Rich turned, slamming his tail into it as he risked a glance to the right. There would be another, he knew. There had been at least two of them howling.

And sure enough, there it was. Black and grey with four eyes on each side of its skull, set in two pale strips of flesh. It had wide jaws full of teeth, but its paw was coming around and those claws tore fiercely into Rich as the Hound of Tinderloss swiped right.

Rich jerked back, and the claws that should have torn his flesh open only grazed his scales. Barely any damage, he was sure of it, but an unwelcome message floated across his view.

Hound of Tinderloss curses you with attention!

WARNING: Swiping right will heighten the curse!

And immediately, the beast darted to the right.

Rich's claw flexed instinctively, the warrior instincts of several years of online gaming almost taking over. Almost bringing his nearest claw up to gut the beast.

I can't, he realized. That's playing into its game.

“Geebo, back me up against this guy!” Rich shouted, and whirled to check on the one he'd burned.

It was up again. He hadn't scored a critical hit, so the flames hadn't caught it on fire. The thing which had been trying to close in and flank him gave up its cautious approach and lunged, claws flashing.

“Chomp!” Rich shouted, and went right down the middle.

Critical Hit!

Your Brawling skill is now level 9!

LUCK+1

He didn't see the number that came out of the thing, but it choked and died with its teeth in his neck, too close for its flailing legs to gut him.

A bump against his rump, and he felt the tingle and pressure combo that signified pain. Then Geebo was yelling, and Rich let go of his prey, whirled in time to see the Hound darting away, running full speed towards one of the tunnels.

“Oh no you don't!” Rich shouted. “Burninate!”

He singed the creature lightly as it fled. Rich tried to angle the fire to bank down the side-tunnel...

...but the creature wasn't heading that way. It leaped right towards the tunnel wall, where the melted stone formed a straight edge against the curved cavern, and it disappeared. Gone, as if it had never been.

“Teleporting too?” Rich said. “These things are hax!”

“They are not hacks!” Geebo cried, voice shaky. “They are Hounds of Tinderloss! They mark you, and follow you forever! Or they curse you with unattractiveness, I forget which.”

“Right now it says I've got attention,” Rich said, casting wary glances up and down the cavern. It was silent... for now. “I'll stand guard. You search the corpse.”

“Er... yes little great one, but for what?”

“For treasure or drops, obviously,” Rich said. Was that movement in the last corridor? Rich glared that way.

“It has a lot of burned reptile-dog-monster meat, great one,” Geebo said. “Can tell you that without laying hands on it.”

Wait, that was movement! Rich lunged forward...

...and realized that the tunnel was on the right an instant before he whipped his claw around and missed the monster completely.

You are gaining unwanted attention on Tinderloss!

And three more howls reverberated through the caves.

You are affected by the Hound of Tinderloss' howl!

You take 4 points of sanity damage!

You are affected by the Hound of Tinderloss' howl!

You take 16 points of sanity damage!

You have resisted the Hound of Tinderloss' howl!

WIS+1

“This is bad!” Rich shouted. “Run for it, Geebo!”

Geebo's response was a long, drawn-out wail.

Rich turned in time to see a storm of blue numbers exploding from the draggit's head. The little guy had his hands pressed to his temples, and was crying blood.

Rich didn't hesitate. He whipped his head forward, closed his jaws around Geebo's harness, and fled. The little draggit weighed practically nothing, thankfully. And Rich's jaws were strong enough to keep a firm hold as his claws clacked and clattered on the ground, pounding at full speed.

For the first dozen seconds, he thought he was getting away.

Then, just ahead, hounds oozed out of the symmetrical side corridors and charged to meet him.

Rich feinted left and tried to bull right, but the Hound managed to gouge him, swiping left.

You are no longer afflicted by unwanted attention on Tinderloss!

It was weird, but Rich had no time to consider it, or see how badly he'd been wounded. He kept running, breaking away clean and fleeing for another few hot seconds...

...and his caught the sound of paws hitting the ground in easy, regular strides.

They weren't running.

They were playing with him.

Another few dozen seconds, and the corridor tightened, splitting into a fork. Three of the creature lunged out of an archway to the left, fading in from between the cracks, and Rich realized that they wanted him to go right. There was no way he'd get between them without taking swipes.

What were the odds that going right would work out?

Pretty fucking bad, Rich decided. So instead he spun about.

INT+1

A pause, as the two behind him stared, two sets of eight eyes going wide, and then he was past them. A surprised swipe came whistling at his head and he ducked under it, bouncing Geebo off the floor to evade the attack.

Your Dodge skill is now level 3!

AGL+1

Rich fled, and more of them oozed out of the corners of the tunnels ahead. It was hard to tell and he didn't have much time to spare, but he thought they were angry now, angry that he'd ruined their game. They tried to pounce on him, but he bulled through, the strength in his little body combining with the frantic momentum to keep him free and moving.

But he didn't make it away clean, as a few leftward swipes caught his flanks, ripping scales and making words appear.

Hound of Tinderloss curses you with unattractiveness!

Current Level: Butterface

You are gaining unattractiveness!

Current Level: Beer Goggles Required

Then it was back, back past the start of the tunnels, and now they couldn't lunge out of the corners at him for there were no more corners.

They chased him in earnest, then, easy, contemptous pawbeats turning into a rising crescendo of pursuit. Rich knew they were tired of the hunt; they wanted to feed.

And he couldn't afford to die here. He didn't think Geebo could respawn, and there was no way the pack would be merciful.

So Rich did his best to keep the draggit from bouncing off the floor and ran, ran for all he was worth.

And he kept ahead of them. Barely.

AGL+1

He had a plan... more or less. Sort of. Well, it was more like he was out of ideas.

When he was far enough down he turned, and saw the disembodied, broken door. The Hounds lunged past it, sparing it no thought. Rich put Geebo on the ground, and braced himself, coiling his tail behind him with muscles he didn't know he had.

And when the lead hound was at exactly the right angle, Rich lunged forward, slammed into it, and knocked the creature right through the broken gate.

Critical Hit!

LUCK+1

Your Brawling Skill is now level 10!

With barely a yelp, the creature was gone. Just gone, the second it touched the darkness.

Rich dug his hindclaws in, felt the stone crack under them as he halted his charge, muzzle bare inches away from the void.

Then he turned and glared.

The pack had fallen silent, frozen, all eyes on him. There were three left now, and they looked to him, looked to the void, and looked back to him.

Congratulations, by using extradimensional portals to banish dark creatures, you have unlocked the Conjuror job!

You cannot become a Conjuror at this time, all adventuring slots are full!

Seek out your guild to forget an existing job!

But Rich had other concerns right now. He stared at the hounds...

...and growled.

CHA+1

Silently, acting in unison, the hounds turned and fled in all different directions. One by one they hit the corners melted into the side-tunnels, and one by one they vanished.

Rich nodded. “Yeah, that's what I thought!” he shouted into the darkness.

Then he went over and nudged Geebo.

Geebo was mumbling, curled into a little ball. Blood was seeping out from his hands, making a tiny puddle on the floor.

Draggits evidently did not have the same mental fortitude as dragons.

“Come on,” he told Geebo, and picked him up by the harness again.

He hoped the little guy would be okay. But there was nothing to be done, especially not here, in this burned and broken place.

And past the symmetrical caves full of corners, down the left hand branch the hounds had tried to chase him away from, he caught a whiff of an entirely new odor.

Fresh air. Cold, but fresh, and filled with water. It smelled like winter when his hab's heater stopped working, and they had to bundle under blankets at night.

Rich followed the smell, passing by frescoes that showed yellow-robed people wearing masks, and some kind of old city next to a lake. They were as burned and cracked as the door and the corridors had been. But he had no time to study them, for he could smell freedom on the wind and he didn't know if those hounds would return.

And finally he came to a shallow pool that turned into a deeep pool. With no other option he waded in and through, lifting Geebo's head above the water as he went. Dragonseye faded a few times and he renewed it as needed... and on the third renewal, he saw an archway ahead. Using his wings to help propel him along, he glided through the water as gracefully as he could.

Your actions have unlocked the generic skill: Swim!

Your Swim skill is now level 1!

Whatever this new room had been, it was pretty much a swimming pool now.

But up at the top, where the wall met the ceiling, a hole had been blown straight through. It was angled and Rich couldn't see the other side of it, but it vanished upward and white flecks fell continuously.

Cold white flecks, he discovered as he swam closer.

Snow was falling into the room from above.

This was the way out.

Tired now, feeling tired somehow through the hyper-realistic interface, Rich tightened his tooth hold on Geebo's harness and dug his claws into the wall.

This part is gonna suck, he thought as he started to climb.

The first time he fell he lost his hold on Geebo, and it took a frantic minute of searching to find the little guy again. Fortunately Geebo had regained enough brain function to help, and he clung to Rich's wings with a deathgrip.

With the draggit on his back now, this freed up Rich's head to actually see where he was going. Climbing got easier after that.

It took one more fall, but after that he learned the knack of it. And his muscles swelled as he brute forced it, using every bit of his draconic might to his advantage.

STR+1

It was only when he was out and shivering on the edge of what was a pit surrounded by packed snow and frozen stones that he remembered he could fly.

Rolling his eyes at the oversight, Rich stared around at the slope of the mountain above him, then down a slight incline to where dark shapes loomed against the snow.

Were those huts?

Sssssss-crack-thunk!

Something straight and black and pointy bounced off an invisible barrier over his head and quivered in the ground next to him.

Rich whipped his head around, and stared, as a furry figure loomed out of the snow, a pair of antlers sticking out of its head, and a glowing player name above those.

“Holy shit!” LivingDeadGrrl said, pulling her hood down and staring at him. “You weren't lying about playing a weird race!”

RUTGER'S CHARACTER SHEET

Spoiler: Spoiler

Name: Rutger Royal

Age: 14 Hours

Jobs:

Cultist 1, High Dragon Hatchling 2

Attributes Pools Defenses

Strength: 103 Constitution: 101 Hit Points: 204 Armor: 45

Intelligence: 35 Wisdom: 31 Sanity: 66 Mental Fortitude: 45

Dexterity: 12 Agility: 29 Stamina: 41 Endurance: 0

Charisma: 31 Willpower: 101 Moxie: 129 Cool: 45

Perception: 101 Luck: 32 Fortune: 133 Fate: 2

General Skills

Brawling – Level 10

Dodge – Level 3

Fly – Level 2

Ride – Level 1

Stealth – Level 2

Swim – Level 1

High Dragon Hatchling Skills

Burninate – Level 6

Chomp – Level 3

Draconic Tongue – Level N/A

Dragonseye – Level 12

Limited Equipment – Level N/A

No Thumbs – Level N/A

Scaly Wings – Level N/A

Slow to Age – Level N/A

Cultist Skills

Unlocked Jobs

Conjuror