The flames died down.

The clacking of rock on stone echoed louder, turned into an avalanche.

And with a sick feeling, Rich realized that it wasn't stone. It was something scuttling. Like a spider, or a...

…a white lobster the size of a Fnord minivan hove into view on the far side of the cavern, eyestalks twitching, claws waving. It had a massive tail that swayed behind it, curling and uncurling, shoving against the rock and helping to push the creature along.

It was much, much bigger than Rich, and he instantly put stony ground spikes in between himself and the thing.

Your Stealth skill is now level 2!

Okay, okay, stealth was good. He could hide here and figure out what to do about this thing.

Rich bowed his head, shut his eyes, and concentrated.

And after a second, he came to a realization.

The spiky things on the ceiling are stalactites, and the spiky bits on the ground are stalagmites. C for ceiling, g for ground. And god damn it, that's not helpful at all!

Rich opened his eyes. The thing was still pattering about, with splashing mixed in. It was getting closer, but not rushing as much. It had lost sight of him... for now.

I can't stay here.

With that thought, he put his body as low as he could, and wiggled his back until he managed to furl his wings. Then and only then he crept around the stalagmites.

The second the creature was in sight again, its eyestalks snapped toward Rich. It clattered toward him, raising ivory-shelled claws that threatened gory, snapping murder.

Rich ran for his life, darting past the stony spikes. He put on the best speed he could, running deeper into the cave, pumping his legs as fast as they could go.

AGL+1

And suddenly it was easier.

Unfortunately, the words blocked part of his vision for a crucial moment, and when they cleared there was a stalagmite in his way. He slammed into it at full tilt.

When Rich picked himself up, he was staring at a floating red '12'. It drifted up above him, turning and twisting, before disappearing into the forest of stalactites above.

I damaged myself, he realized. And then he laughed in relief. He had been expecting to feel pain, even though he knew there was no way a game could do that. But it was painless. He'd just felt pressure when he impacted.

Clattering behind him, and Rich turned to see the creature was almost upon him.

No more time to run. I have no idea how to fly... and this is just a game. Why be afraid? The worst it can do is kill me.

Besides, this would be a good way to test out my skills. And maybe I can take it down?

He rather doubted that. But he'd played warriors online for years, and sometimes you just had to fight and die.

“Burninate!” Rich yelled, as it got within ten feet. This time he was expecting the blast of fire. It bathed the creature, rolling over it and sending steam up from the shallow pool to the side.

Your Burninate skill is now level 3!

Rich hadn't felt pain, but the mob certainly did, recoiling and screeching as it snapped its eyestalks back inside its shell. A red '22' floated upward above it, much larger than the one Rich had seen earlier.

He'd been hoping the creature would have a lifebar, but no such luck.

All right, time for the next combat skill. “Chomp!” he yelled, and lunged forward, trying to get within its reach while its eyes were out of sight.

Trying.

The thing's antennae twitched and a claw slammed into him from the side, closing around him and gouging into his scales. The claw was bigger than he was!

Rich had been hurt, but he couldn't see how badly. He didn't waste time worrying about it, trying to bury his teeth into the shell of the claw...

...and failing.

The pressure around him tightened, and there was a tearing feeling on his back. No pain, but it was uncomfortable in its own way. He twisted, got paws under the lower claw and managed to pull it open.

STR+1

Something fell to the ground when he did so, and he glanced dowward, stared in horror at the small, bloody wing that lay twitching on the ground. That was... that was a bit too realistic.

Crawmammy has afflicted you with the condition: Severed Wing!

Would it grow back if he got some healing? No time to worry about it now.

Rich stared at the thing's mandibled face and yelled “Burninate!”

Your Burninate skill is now level 4!

Critical Hit!

Luck+1

A red '115' rose up and the thing reeled back, dropping him as its shell reddened. For a second he'd hoped he'd killed it...

...but no, it came back twice as quickly. He did notice that the back of the thing was burning merrily, though. Somehow the slick, wet shell had caught fire. The creature seemed distressed by that, trying to reach its back and failing, its claws too short to make the trip. Then it remembered Rich was there, and snapped at him again.

Rich dodged the first claw with inches to spare.

Your actions have unlocked the generic skill: Dodge!

Your Dodge skill is now level 1!

The second one came his way, and he decided to try to get creative.

“Chomp!”

The claw slammed into his mouth.

His mouth closed around the claw.

Your Brawling skill is now level 7!

Your Chomp skill is now level 2!

And a red '30' rose up from above the lobster-thing.

Then he was whipped backward. The momentum of the claw hadn't gone anywhere, he was just hanging from the top part of it as the beast waved its claw around, trying to get him free. Second by second, red '1's and '2's rose up as it burned. He clung on for dear life with all four legs.

Your actions have unlocked the generic skill: Ride!

Your Ride skill is now level 1!

And for a second he thought he had it. It had been pretty beaten up, half-broiled, and set on fire. If he just kept a hold and let the damage over time of the flames do their work, he could maybe do this.

Unfortunately, the thing was smart enough to realize that too.

Grappling it as he was, Rich couldn't dodge as the creature brought its claw in... and Rich felt the other claw close around him.

Thinking fast, he opened his mouth and tried to drop... and managed to make it just in time.

Your Dodge skill is now level 2!

AGL+1

He landed on all fours in front of the creature, starring up at its broiled mouth. This close up, he could see that it had little thrashing shelled-tentacle things around it. Half of them hung limply, red and black and burned. The fire seemed to be out, sadly.

“Well, I can fix that! Burninate!”

Your Burninate skill is now level 4!

The flames rolled over it again, and at this range Rich couldn't miss. A red '64' rolled up, and the thing recoiled backward, tried to get its claws around the small target right in front of it.

Rich didn't know if he could survive another claw. They didn't have a lot of reach, but they were strong—

—They didn't have a lot of reach.

Acting on instinct, pulling a move he'd done in Neverquest a few times, he leaped forward, grabbed onto some of its non-writhing mouthparts, and tried to get up on the lobster-leviathan's back.

Your actions have unlocked the generic skill: Climb!

Your Climb skill is now level 1!

A claw slammed into him, but it was the side of the claw. He heard something crack and moving got harder.

Crawmammy has afflicted you with the condition: Broken ribs!

But Rich kept moving.

CON+1

It was that or die, and he didn't want to lose his first fight!

Soon he was up on the bump on its shell, up where its eyestalks and antennae flickered and flinched away from him. Its claws scrabbled below, trying to snap at him, missing him by feet this time.

And Rich knew what to do.

“Chomp!”

Its eyestalks retracted, dodging out of the way.

But its antennae could not.

Your Brawling skill is now level 8!

Your Chomp skill is now level 3!

Rich's teeth latched on and the thing screamed.

He didn't see the red number that came up from it, but he didn't care. He just clung onto the slots where its eyes had retracted and chewed for all he was worth.

The thing surged back and forth around the cavern, slamming into stalagmites, trying to throw itself against walls, and after the fourth impact Rich felt himself being thrown free...

...but the thing's antenna came with him.

He landed hard in the shallow pool, looked up in time to see a fountain of blood as the creature collapsed.

And new words filled his sight.

You are now a level 2 High Dragon Hatchling!

CON+25

PER+25

STR+25

WILL+25

Armor+15

Cool+15

Mental Fortitude+15

Were those stats good? He didn't know. As the words faded away he felt a million times better. He stood up...

...and fell over.

Rich blinked in surprise.

His side still felt pressure. Were his ribs still broken?

He craned his neck to look around at himself.

Oh. Wow, he was a mess. Scales had been gouged away, revealing gaping wounds that oozed blood. More blood dribbled from the stump of his left wing, and his side looked deflated.

It was getting harder to breathe, come to think of it.

Now what?

Rich tried to think about it, compare the situation to most of the other games he'd played. He'd been expecting a level-up to fully heal him, but it hadn't.

The cave snapped to blackness again, while he ruminated. “Dragonseye,” he said, absent-mindedly.

Your Dragonseye skill is now level 6!

Sight returned, and with it came clarity. He had no loot, so if this game required corpse-runs he'd be out nothing. This was a good time to check and see whether or not death reset his character's conditions.

So before he could think too much about it or come up with another set of worries, he reached up with his claws and tore them through his throat.

It took some doing, and the sensation was not comfy at all, but he managed.

Then he lay his head down, tried not to breathe, and waited until his vision faded away to red, pulsing darkness.

YOU HAVE DIED FROM

SUICIDE

The blackness faded away to gray nothingess. All sensation was gone, and Rich floated, bodiless in the void.

Large black letters appeared before him;

RESPAWN IN... 24 HOURS

YOU MAY USE G.O.L.D. TOKENS TO REDUCE THIS TIME.

“Twenty-four hours?” Rich yelped. Then the meaning of the second line hit him. “Oh God, no wonder a subscription is so cheap. They've got a cash shop.”

Sure enough, the words 'Gold Tokens' were actually a link. By focusing on it he opened up a bare bones webstore. That surprised him, given the amount of effort and art that had gone into the game itself.

The webstore sold only a few things; GOLD tokens and alternate characters were the only options that interested Rich. The Gold tokens weren't hugely expensive, but it looked like they scaled by level. The higher level you were, the more it took to insta-revive. At level 2, Rich needed only one to do the job.

Alternate characters, though? Those were far more expensive. And evidently this was the only way to get an alternate character. Rich's dreams of making a female character and spending some quality time masturbating died and withered on the vine. His Dad might not notice the credit card charge for some tokens, but an alternate character cost something around the cost of a month's rent for his hab. That... that would get noticed.

While he was studying the options, a voice whispered, as if off in the distance. “Berserkers are so damn hax. I got the drop on this guy and he couldn't finish the job before he pulped me.”

Rich froze.

An unfamiliar voice responded. “Learn to play, noob.”

Rich waved the cash shop away, and returned to the gray nothingness. Except it wasn't all gray now, there were two lines of text slowly fading away.

BIZYBEE: Berserkers are so damn hax. I got the drop on this guy and he couldn't finish the job before he pulped me.

MISTERUBER: Learn to play, noob.

“Hello?” Rich asked, and watched lines appear out of nowhere.

RUTGER: Hello?

And an older, bored-sounding voice replied.

ARISTATTLER: Let me save you some time. Yes, your character just died. This is the resurrection lobby. Yes, everyone who's dead can hear you and read you. No, anyone living can't talk to you. Take it to tells if you want to have a private conversation with someone in the lobby.

RUTGER: Um, thanks. How do I take it to tells?

ARISTATTLER: Did you skip the tutorial? That was not smart.

SLAYINALIVE: Uninstall, noob. This game eats the stupid.

RUTGER: I didn't get a tutorial.

ARISTATTLER: If you're going to lie I don't have a reason to help you.

RUTGER: No, seriously, I'm playing a weird race. I don't think they have a tutorial set up for them yet.

LIVINGDEADGRRL: Oh yeah? Which race? I can add it to readit if it's one we don't have.

Rich almost answered her... then he paused. Everything he knew about online culture told him to keep this a secret. There would be people who would track him down and grief him for no other reason than what he'd lucked into.

RUTGER: I'd... rather not say. Sorry.

ARISTATTLER: First smart thing you've done all day. All right, you sound young so I'll bring you up to speed. You know how things are voice activated, right?

LIVINGDEADGRRL: -.-

RUTGER: Yeah.

ARISTATTLER: Say “Message” folllowed by the name of the person you're trying to talk with. Doesn't work on NPC's, by the way. Once you're done talking with them say “End Message” and it'll take you out of private chat. Living players can only chat with living players, and the dead can only message the dead.

DEMBONES: The dead whisper in the space between worlds...

LOLZERKER: Don't you fucking start that again.

DEMBONES: Log off if you don't like my RP.

LOLZERKER: I'd rather block you. There. Done.

RUTGER: Thank you. Um... can I ask another question?

THEWISESTASS: You just did.

ARISTATTLER: Sure. I've got a few more hours to kill.

RUTGER: Is there a way to check my inventory or a character screen or a help thing? I barely won my first fight.

MISTERUBER: Pity you fucked up your second.

ARISTATTLER: Goddamn, you weren't lying about that no tutorial thing.

RUTGER: Nope.

ARISTATTLER: So there is no inventory.

LIVING DEAD GRRL: That we know of.

ARISTATTLER: Shush. You can carry what you can carry. Unless you've got a skill. But basically if you say “Status” it'll bring up the character screen. Doesn't work here, only while you're alive. From there, you can say “Help” and it'll explain things on your status screen. Help only works while your status is open.

RUTGER: Status. Help. Got it, thank you.

BIFROST: Be careful, only do it in safe spots. It obscures your view, and assholes can jump you when you're blinded.

PWNER: Ain't my fault you gave me an easy kill, mister giant.

BIFROST: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GRIEFER! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!

LIVING DEAD GRRL: Giant? Seriously? Can you confirm?

PWNER: Don't bother. He just tokened out. Probably gonna try to catch me when I respawn. But yeah, big blue's a giant. Thass a thing.

SLAYINALIVE: What? How'd that fucker get giant! Bastard... Where's his location?

PWNER: Let's take this to private messages.

Yeah, Rich knew there was no way he'd tell anyone of these randos he was a dragon.

ARISTATTLER: This is worse than Barrens chat. Anyway, you get what you need, kid?

RUTGER: Yeah, thanks. Hey, what's Barrens chat?

ARISTATTLER: Ancient history at this point, and well dead. Good luck kid.

Well, now what?

“Message Midian,” he commanded.

Words appeared: Player is not among the dead!

That was his most likely contact gone. Still, he had one more option. Though that seemed unlikely, given the timing. There was no way Norm was playing during school time.

“Message Stormanorm.”

Message request received.

STORMANORM: Dude!

RUTGER: Dude! What the hell? It's schooltime, how are you playing?

STORMANORM: Oh man. Let me tell you about my day...

RUTGER'S CHARACTER SHEET

Spoiler: Spoiler

Name: Rutger Royal

Age: 3 Hours

Jobs:

Cultist 1, High Dragon Hatchling 2

Attributes Pools Defenses

Strength: 102 Constitution: 101 Hit Points: 203 Armor: 45

Intelligence: 30 Wisdom: 26 Sanity: 56 Mental Fortitude: 45

Dexterity: 12 Agility: 27 Stamina: 39 Endurance: 0

Charisma: 28 Willpower: 100 Moxie: 128 Cool: 45

Perception: 101 Luck: 29 Fortune: 130 Fate: 2

General Skills

Brawling – Level 8

Dodge – Level 2

Fly – Level 2

Ride – Level 1

Stealth – Level 2

High Dragon Hatchling Skills

Burninate – Level 4

Chomp – Level 3

Draconic Tongue – Level N/A

Dragonseye – Level 6

Limited Equipment – Level N/A

No Thumbs – Level N/A

Scaly Wings – Level N/A

Slow to Age – Level N/A

Cultist Skills

Unlocked Jobs