Paler than those bastards in Noarchac. Hardier than the barbarians of Eiar. Meaner than a conscript from Kreg’uune. That’s how you know a human hails from Maris.

- Common proverb popularised by the Kingdoms Under.

“I feel like death.” I rasped. “Why is it so damn cold?”

For a moment there was no response, then the sound of chair legs scraping on the floor made me wince right before someone rushed over and appeared above me. I had to squint at them, but I recognised my mother. She had an expression of conflicting emotions. Stress, relief, desperation, and probably some other things too.

“Amber?” She asked tentatively. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah.” I tried sitting up, but got pushed back down.

“No, you’re not going to stay in bed and rest. What were you doing? Running off into the forest after-” Her voice caught.

She was keeping me under the covers, but I still pulled an arm out and coughed into it. “Have you met Torment?” She nodded. “He died. Thought he could answer some questions.”

“Questions that the Shepards could not answer?” Mom demanded

Not you too… My dejection barely shifted my lazily held expression. “I don’t think either of them have actually died. So no.”

“Mary would have had answers!”

“Mom…” I said faintly. “I hate them.”

Mom was at a loss for words. She eventually retreated from my bedside and pulled her chair over to sit right next to me. I took that time to look at the room I woke up in.

There was a lot of blue, and it was cold in here, which gave me everything I needed to arrive at the conclusion we were staying in Taranath’s estate. I couldn't see the ground, or any other buildings or landmarks, so I didn’t know if we were in the main building, or another building. Though, this room had carpets and was incredibly well furnished. Hells, the bed I was sleeping in was comparable to the size of my old bedroom.

Which I supposed was now destroyed along with the house of the Shepards. That hadn’t processed, and I wasn’t decided on how I felt about that yet.

Also, Adjutant was dead. If memory served, Angelica had taken her soul and would hold onto it for a month, a week, and a day. After that she’d probably come back, but there was the matter of the time between death and resurrection. I’d had a night. She’d have… a lot more.

I couldn’t make up my mind on how I felt about that either.

“You didn’t hear Mary bargaining.” I said when mom had settled in her chair. “It was disgusting to hear.”

“Don’t speak, just rest.” Mom insisted.

“She said there weren’t any lasting consequences to my death.” I bit out. “She doesn’t care about the fatigue, all the stuff Torment said I’d be dealing with now, and really tried to worm her way out of any punishment. You know, Brynn wanted to take Mary’s life when he learned about the geas, but she got out of that too. Literally said ‘I’m too important’.”

“Dear-”

“Where is dad?” I demanded, getting worked up. “I’m in Taranath’s estate, right? What time is it? Don’t tell me I missed a day. Where were you when the meteors fell anyway?”

“Slow down, Amber.” Mom started tidying my hair as best she could with my head nestled into an unreasonably fluffy pillow that I couldn’t really appreciate with the fatigue. “You’ve been through so much. Please, just rest.”

I still wanted to complain, but even saying all that had taken a toll on me. Instead I fell back on the questions I just asked. “Where’s dad?”

Mom let out a short sigh as her fingers pulled more strands of my hair behind my ears. “He is speaking with Taranath right now, or he’s out buying things for our stay here. Vycar used magic to transport us here. I believe he did the same for you.”

I turned that over in my head, then realised something alarming. “Are we staying for free?” I demanded and tried to sit up again.

“Amber, bed.” Mom told me sternly, and stared at me until I lay back down again. “To answer your question, yes. We are staying for free, at least until we get another place to live.”

“Mm.” That might turn out differently that I thought it might, then. Taranath’s warning about owing a fey, or being owed by a fey was repeating in my mind. It stopped me from relaxing entirely. “You didn’t say how long I’ve been asleep.”

“It’s almost nightfall.” Mom answered. “That’s earlier than Vycar said you would wake up.” I laughed humourlessly and mom pinched my cheek lightly. “You’ve been causing so much trouble recently.”

“Not this time. All this lies squarely on Mary.” I ignored how my mom smiled thinly by staring at the ceiling. “I guess dad will want to know I’m okay. And anyone else that’s around too.”

Mom gave me a flat look. “You could just ask to be alone. It’s not like you’re in a state to be going anywhere.”

I turned my head to stare at her. “There’s a window in this room.”

“We’re on the third floor.” She chided with a hint of a smile. “If you were well, I’d be worried of you absconding. But I don’t think you would be so stupid right now.”

Damn, that made me want to climb out the window as soon as she was gone. Unfortunately, the amount of effort it took to open my eyes after blinking told me that wasn’t something I could get away with. I didn’t let mom know that and grinned.

“Don’t climb out the window.” She told me, wagging her finger in my direction. “I’ll let your father know you’re awake. Stay in bed.”

I smiled in that way that said yes, and watched my mom leave the room. Watching her go, I noticed a knitting kit on the table she’d been waiting by. It was by the window, and the evening sun was actually shining where she would’ve been sitting. There was a deep blue scarf that looked to be in the beginning stages of being made.

Looking around was exerting, so I let my head fall back with a sigh. I wasn’t tired, but my body felt like I’d done five training sessions with Brynn back to back. All I could really do was stare up with my eyes and flinch as Taranath walked into the side of my vision without warning.

“Quiet, Amber.” He said, “Am I or am I not holding onto two weapons for you?”

I frowned. “Why does that matter?” Then I realised my parents were around. I didn’t want them to know about my weapons yet. If ever, if possible. “Don’t talk about that stuff now!” I coughed as I got too worked up and something in my throat caught. “I don’t- want to talk about that!”

“I’ll explain the next time we have a moment. Yes or no, Amber?”

My frown deepened if anything. “Yes?”

Taranath visibly relaxed. “Okay, that’s good.” He knelt next to the bed and crossed his arms on the mattress. He looked at me like I imagined the Heavens made me look out the window at Avien. At least back when our houses were next to each other. “So. How was dying?”

“I- Don’t remember much?” I questioned.

“How about the stuff after that, then?”

“Pretty shitty. No doubt you’ve already heard all about-” I shivered and frowned. “Did it just get colder in here?”

Taranath lifted his head off of his hands and shrugged. “I did just arrive. Ahh, damn. I missed the fun stuff again. Oh! But the rule of three means I get to go to the next one! Yiss.” He pumped a fist.

“No, it was later than that.” I glared at him and his antics, still thinking about the strange question. “What was that really about?”

“We’re coming in.” Dad announced before opening the door. His expression was even, but his longsword was strapped to his belt and he looked more ragged than I’d ever seen him. I guess me dying may have had something to do with that. He walked right up to me as Taranath stepped away, reached out to touch me, then paused as if he was afraid to touch me.

“Can I have a moment with my daughter?” He asked the room.

Taranath looked around at mom and dad, both of whom weren’t moving, and gestured. The pale mist he held dominion over snuck in through the door and wrapped around him, only to collapse on empty space. Mom placed a hand on dad’s shoulder, but he didn’t look at her. Eventually she left too, but in a far more mundane way.

In between my dad saying that and the door closing, I realised what my dad had likely been doing while I was asleep. The smell assaulted my senses and made me recoil.

“You were drinking.” I rasped once we were alone.

Dad let out a humourless chuckle and dropped his hand. “I’m almost afraid to touch you right now. After…” He sighed and dropped into the chair mom dragged over. “I shouldn’t have let that happen.”

I turned my head to stare at him. “You’re right.”

“It’s…” He clenched his fist and took a breath. “I’ve seen a lot in my life. Even in the ranks I saw more than most see in three lifetimes. That was before Garner was Chosen.”

I rolled over to better face my dad. He never talked about his days in the military, and I could remember bugging him for days just to get him to tell me small details. Jaskair Jewel wasn’t Chosen, but he had an almost supernatural ability to keep his mouth shut on details.

“Wizards on the battlefield are…” Dad tried to think up an accurate word, then went with, “Terrifying. The ones that like fire can pick an area of lesser men and burn them back into the sands. I was part of a regiment that was stationed in a fort with only one caster to help us and had a horde of Eiarnites bearing down on us. Only they didn’t have any casters with them, so our one just collapsed the mountain road leading to us and I didn’t even need to draw my sword that day. When our reinforcements showed up, he just remade the road.

“After Garner was Chosen and Mary came into the mix, I saw so much more. Illusions that deceived even our own side, dragons conjured from nothing, and psychic spells. M-” Dad’s hands went white as he clasped them. “Mary had this one spell she liked to use that made her a favourite among the higher ups. It was like a fireball, only it burned the minds instead of the bodies. All completely silently and with no fanfare or lights. Oftentimes there wouldn’t even be any screams. I’ve seen so many soldiers lose the light in their eyes and die, just like that. Perfect for ambushes.”

It clicked. What my dad was trying to say. What he was preparing himself to say.

“I never thought I’d see that in my own d-”

“Dad.” I flopped my hand in his direction, and it landed just beyond the edge of the bed. A moment passed before my dad released his hands from each other, and he clasped my own hand before the colour truly made it back into them. Gently, as if he was scared of breaking me, but firm, because he needed to know I was here. “No more enchantments.” I told him.

He let out an ugly splutter of laughter, then wiped at his nose. “I’ve already told that to Mary. Not politely, either. Garner had to restrain me, and it’s never pretty when friends draw swords on each other.”

My eyebrows raised themselves in surprise. It was hard for me to believe that after everything the Shepards had put me through that he could still consider Garner a friend.

“Well. Former friends.” Dad wiped his nose and I smiled. He was being honest there. I could tell from how the world had listened with me. I hadn’t expected that from my dad, but it made me happier.

We spent a while like that. All I could think about was how my dad had so completely fallen apart from the hardened veteran I knew him to be. His hair wasn’t kempt, and that smell wasn’t going away. His shirt was half untucked, and I could see a few stains that became holes in places. It would need to be replaced.

“Alright.” I said after a minute of dealing with the smell. “You need to wash if you’re going to spend this much time around me.” I tugged my hand and it was reluctantly relinquished.

Dad gave the floor a sad smile. “That’s as long as it lasts…” He glanced up to me. “I’m just glad you’re still with me.”

“Of course I’m still here. I have too many people to spite.” I told him, making him frown.

“Who?”

“Who do you think? Now go bathe. You s-” My throat caught on itself as I got too enthusiastic and I descended into a coughing fit. “You stink.” I finished weakly once the spluttering had died down.

My dad slowly made his way to his feet, staring at me all the while. “You sound just like your mother.”

“Cool.”

“And there’s my precious jewel.” He blew air out his nostrils. “Sometimes I barely recognise you. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the soup.”

“I don’t remember the soup.” I told him tiredly.

“I remember cleaning it up. I suppose that stain is gone forever now.” He snarked, running a hand through his hair. A little bit of that roguish handsomeness my mom fell in love with showed. “I want you back to your old self. I’ll make sure it happens.”

I closed my eyes and groaned. “This is just resurrection fatigue, dad. It’ll go away after five days.” And I’ll be gone after six. “Go. Bath. Seriously.”

“Alright, alright.” He gestured placatingly and left in a far better mood than he came in with. As one person walked out, three walked in. The way the temperature rose told me who the third person was.

“Look at her.” Taranath said conversationally. “Pitiful, right?”

“That’s my daughter!” Mom exclaimed in shock as fire burned in my veins. I drew strength from it and accomplished something I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to do. I sat up and leveled a flat stare in Taranath’s direction.

“More than just pitiful.” Maiathah agreed, one arm draped from her husband’s shoulder. “Downright pathetic.”

“Do you two think you’re bards?” I deadpanned.

Maiathah hummed a gentle brook as she shook her head. “She thinks she has a sense of humour, too.”

“Can barely even sit up right.” Taranath shook his head. “Did you know she thought it was cold in here?”

“The little darling can’t even deal with that?” Maiathah covered her mouth with her free hand in surprise. “My heart might just give out she’s so helpless.”

Something kicked into action in my mother’s head. “I apologise, but you two are not welcome around Amber if you’re only going to… to insult her!”

In a flash, Taranath vanished from his spot beside Maiathah and placed his hands on my mother’s shoulders. For all the bravado she just put up, she froze instantly. She was the farthest thing from a fighter.

“Dear Sandra Jewel.” Taranath said, “Totally normal in an exotic town.”

“Living in a fey domain.” Maiathah added.

“Losing her daughter to the Heavens.”

“Lost her daughter already, isn't it actually?” Maiathah was suddenly next to me, and she was so hot it was distracting. She laid a burning hand on my forehead as if she was testing me for a fever, probably reading me wrong because of all the sweat that she just made me release. “To five words and lightning, decades ago.”

“That’s nearly how long we spent in mourning after the miscarriage.” Taranath said, impressed. “It takes so long to recover from something like that. I can’t imagine how much of a human lifespan that would consume.”

“Are you two going to get to the point?” I demanded, turning my stare on Maiathah, who barely resembled the woman I’d shared biscuits and carrots with two days before.

“Well, the thing about pity...” Taranath leaned his elbow on my mother’s head, and she let it happen. The way these two were acting had her as still as a statue.

I did a double take. My mother was an actual ice statue right now.

“Is it’s a great excuse to help a mortal.” Maiathah continued. “No need for equivalent exchange...”

“And it’s good for karma.” Taranath continued. “Makes me feel all good inside.”

“Don’t you mean warm? Or tingly?” I demanded, trying my best to ignore the burning on my head and the ice statue that was my mom. “Or did you forget that when you became an embodiment of Winter?

Taranath loomed over my mother, staring at me with unearthly blue eyes. “Give me one of your desires, and I’ll see it returned.”

I frowned, and tried to glance at Maiathah.

“No puppet.” She told me as her hands moved to place themselves on either side of my head, and forced me to look only at Taranath. “The Lord of Frozen Roses is the one that pities you. Can you imagine how that makes me feel?”

I shivered despite the heat as my addled mind caught up to what they were doing. Taranath probably wasn’t happy with how the Shepards had killed me and missing the trial. Actually, he had outright told me that, and this was his way of finding retribution when he hadn’t been able to take part in the fight. He was using pity as an excuse to do it without trading favours like we needed to with the swords. On the other hand, Maiathah was here to help convince All to accept what he was doing. But as Taranath’s wife she was conflicted.

She was fey. Watching her husband bend over backwards to help another woman out, no matter my age, was a great way to become jealous. There were numerous stories about fey that started this exact way. They didn’t have happy endings. I needed to be incredibly careful.

Which was why it was so frustrating to have to think through this buzzing still in my mind after the resurrection. Thinking from one end of a thought to the next was proving to be harder and harder the more the gravity of the situation weighed down on me.

This was a complicated mess of fey bullshit.

“There-” I coughed. My throat was unreasonably dry and my eyes were all dried up too. Why was it that my forehead was the only damp part of me right now? “There are some people that want to talk to me.” I thought on what I had said. Should I have just named the Shepards? Was I being too vague? Taranath was still looking at me. He didn’t consider my desire finished. What had I said? “The thing is, I want to be left alone.” I coughed again. Taranath was still waiting, so I said the next thing that came to my mind. “And I’m done with romance now.”

Maiathah’s hands dropped from my head and her arms wrapped around me in the warmest hug I’d ever experienced. She placed a burning kiss on my cheek. “I knew you weren’t a traditionalist. You should’ve become a gold digger. Now was the perfect chance.”

I frowned, just accepting the hug since I was afraid of a jealous fit. I didn’t know what being a gold digger meant. It was hard to differentiate the burning of my skin from embarrassment and the fact that Maiathah’s body making itself very known at every point of me it came into contact with.

“No romance, huh?” Taranath picked up my mom, still frozen, and hefted her over one shoulder. “In that case I should make the roof off limits. That's a rather romantic spot last I checked.” He snapped his fingers and pointed up with a flourish.

A moment passed, then I heard someone panicking as they scrambled on the roof. The sound increased as it got closer, and then stopped. A moment later someone fell past the window. I only caught a glimpse, but I knew that silver hair anywhere. Avien had been waiting up there, probably to visit me after nightfall for a romantic encounter.

“I need to groan.” I said, “But I feel like he’s not worth it.”

“No dear.” Maiathah slapped me and it hurt. A hand went to my cheek as I wondered how she had managed to slap me without breaking the burning hug. “That’s something you only say when you actually like them.”

“Then how about ‘Oh no. I want him here beside me’?” My tone went more flat than I’d ever gone before.

“All will be confused.” Maiathah sighed, releasing me. Without the elven body holding me up I found myself falling back to a lying position. I immediately started cooling down, which was a relief.

“I know I am.” Taranath agreed as he leaned out the window and shook his fist. “Damn kids get off of my lawn!”

“I just want to talk to Amber!” Avien called back up.

Taranath snarled and vaulted out the window with my mom still over his shoulder.

“Please make sure my mom survives.” I requested as I fought to keep my eyes open.

“Oh, honey.” Maiathah traced a finger around my face. “Your mother is going to do more than just survive.” The hot touch was strangely relaxing, and I found myself slipping further under the veil of night. “You were the one that Taranath pitied, I had no part in that. But I’ve found myself influenced greatly by my husband’s state of mind since he attained his status as a lord. I have to act on pity as well.”

I tried to say something but Maiathah hushed me.

“The only thing is, Taranath is having a jealous fit seeing me treat you like this. I’ll have to remind him who his only lover is. Until then,” She leaned in close and I swear I smelt a warm, salty breeze. “The one I pity is your mother, Amber Jewel.”

\V/