ARC 1: Chapter 1: God must be crazy

I woke up from my bed and looked at the alarm clock. It was already 6:30 a.m. It seems like I had woken up a little early as I had set the alarm for 7.

"Argghhh… I can’t believe summer is over." I said to myself as I rubbed my forehead. It was very tempting to sleep again and wait for the alarm clock, but for some reason I felt energetic this morning. I got up from bed and went to the bathroom.

After I relieved myself I flushed the toilet and for some reason I was curious about how I look. It’s not like I have insecurities about my looks. It’s just that I haven't looked in a mirror in a couple of days or so. Brown eyes, oily cheeks, and a round shaped face that keeps saying: Nobody messes with the Bear. Nothing has changed except my beard, it’s getting thicker again and becoming closer to a full beard. My black hair was short, I had it cut last week, but my beard grows fast that it’s too irritating to shave it again and again. I’m only twenty years old, but with my current appearance I look like a man in his thirties. Most people I met thought I was already married with kids of my own.

I grabbed a razor and shaving cream, but I put them down. I decided to keep the beard. Why? I’m too lazy to shave, PLUS I look like an overgrown baby with oily face whenever I shave and it helps me to hide the double chin.

I took off my pyjamas and my underwear and threw them into my laundry basket. I once again looked at the bathroom mirror and god, I was hideous. I have a large tummy with stretch marks and man boobs to top it off. I think there’s hair growing on my nipples.

Alright goddamn it, I admit it, I've got a lot of insecurities. If I was a model, I’d probably be the top model of a fast food chain.

Do I hate myself? Sometimes, but most of the times I justify to myself that it’s better to eat what you can before you die. If you get sick, then you can’t eat and you die. So the list of advantages of being fat goes on.

After I took a shower, I went downstairs to cook some breakfast. I cooked cheese omelette, sausages and garlic fried rice. It’s my perfect breakfast.

Oh shit, I forgot to wake up my sister. I went upstairs to wake her up. It would be wasted effort if my omelette gets cold.

*Knock* *Knock*

"Jen, wake up!" I called, but she wasn’t answering.

"Jen!" I knocked again but still no answer.

I waited for a few seconds and opened the door. She was still sleeping….

I shook her up in order to wake her but she kept on groaning. It’s really hard to wake her up. Fortunately, I have the solution.

I pulled her bed sheet and she groaned again, but this time with a tone of irritation.

"Jen! Wake up…" I shook her again.

"Uhm hum…" She got up from bed and sat. Her long black hair was a bit of a mess and her brown eyes were half opened. I got to say, she’s an attractive woman; Ample breast, fair and flawless skin and slender body and ‘Ooohh!’ nice legs. She’s wearing a sleeveless tops and shorts. I know what you’re thinking. It’s not like that. I’m not a sicko. I was just trying to see her in a different perspective where a compliment would not be biased and she’s only 16.

"What’s for breakfast?" Jen asked.

"My favorite…" I smirked. We stared at each other for a while and she frowned. I was supposed to say that it was her favorite but I’d be lying. She knew that cheese omelettes were my favorite but unfortunately, she’s allergic to eggs and lactose intolerant.

"Don’t worry… I also cooked some sausages."

Her frowned face instantly turned into a smile. She loves sausages.

We went downstairs and ate our breakfast.

"Where’s mom?" Jen asked, as she hogged all the sausages to her plate. Damn!

"She’s still in the office. She called me last night and said something came up and couldn’t come home."

"Is it because of the monsters?" She asked.

"Monsters?" What was she talking about?

"Yeah, have you watched the news? They’ve been talking about monster sightings…"

Right, monsters. The News these days are full of bullshit and fairy tales, that’s why I don’t watch the news. My mother worked as an agent for the National Bureau of Investigation or NBI for short. She’s a cop and I doubt that what happened last night in their office has something to do with the bullshit on the news.

I finished my breakfast and put my plate on the sink.

"You done?"

"Yup… Got to go…"

I looked at my watch and it’s already 8:00 a.m. My first class starts at 9. Jen stared at me with a frown as if expecting something from me. What is it? Oh… right.

"Here you go…" I gave her 200 pesos from my wallet. It’s her lunch money.

Mom set me up a bank account so she could just transfer money into it since she’s busy most of the time.

As soon as Jen got the money, she stood up and kissed me on my cheek. "Thanks!"

Awww… She’s sweet. I bet all of the boys would fight each other to death for that kiss. Hah… If only she wasn’t my sister I’d probably ask her to be my girlfriend. In fact, she’s one of the few girls who were willing to talk to me. Not that I’m complaining, but whenever a girl sees me they look afraid, like I was going to eat them whole or something.

It has something to do with my looks you see. If some girls have a resting bitch face, then I have what you call a resting ‘serial axe murderer’ face with a beard. As much as I hate my looks they've actually saved me from lots of potential trouble. I was never bullied and no one messed with me. I’ll just look at them with my natural ‘murderer’ face and they’ll back off.

Of course, it doesn’t work every time and I’ve been in a fight in high school. Someone actually had the guts to try and pick on me. Fortunately, Mom taught me to fight. She’s an expert on Arnis. With her lessons I was able to defend myself from those jackasses.

I was suspended for a week after the incident, but after that bullies avoided me, including my class mates. I was treated like some kind of a freak and my usual silent behavior didn’t help much.

"Are you okay?" Jen said and I realized that I was spaced out for a while.

"Yeah… just having a flashback." I’m a fucking idiot.

She laughed and went back to the table to eat her breakfast.

Anyway, I rode a bus and it took me thirty minutes to reach my destination. When I got off the bus, I saw the busy streets packed with street vendors selling school supplies near the campus. Since it was the first day of school, the business was lucrative. Many students were doing last minute shopping buying overpriced school supplies.

I entered the campus and went straight to my first class.

It was my second year in college and my first class was History. I hate history, but I didn’t have a choice since it was in the curriculum and I was required to take the class.

I entered the room and some of the students looked at me. It was a mixture of disgust and fear. I really wanted to say: ‘I’m going to kill you now…’ to add fuel to the fire but I’m used to the looks on their faces so it never bothered me at all. I took a seat quietly and they moved on to their business.

"Miguel!" A familiar voice called my name. I turned around to see who it was.

"Eric!" It was my friend Eric. Eric Reyes, the pretty boy. "Long time no see!"

"Yeah, so how are you?"

"Fine, I guess… How about you?"

"Well, you’re not going to believe this…" Eric leaned to me and whispered. "I saw one of those monsters!"

"Oh…" I said with a tone of disbelief. He was right though. I'm not buying it.

"It’s true!" He said and took a seat. "The other night, I was watching a movie with Claire and Dianne when it happened. We all saw an ogre. It was standing near the screen and it roared! It was loud and we were so scared."

"An ogre? Like Shrek?"

"Not like Shrek! You know, giant with yellowish skin."

"Oh…" I was becoming more and more uninterested with his story.

"But that's not all… It disappeared right before our eyes." Eric was making hand gestures as the story went on. It was unbelievable of course. I really wished that they were just hallucinating, but it was weird that they all saw it. Basically, the story went like this: They saw an ogre, they exit the theatre and he hugged his panicking harem to calm them down.

*Sigh* I was envious of the last part though.

"You don’t believe me?" Eric asked.

"Well…" Before I could answer, a beautiful girl sat beside Eric and joined the conversation.

"It’s the truth." The girl said. "I saw it with my own eyes and if it wasn’t for Eric, I would’ve panicked."

"I see…" I replied. Fucks given: None.

It was the first member of Eric’s harem: Claire Roque. She’s a pretty girl, probably prettier than my sister. She has a wavy long jet black hair and flawless fair skin. Any look she made with her eyes would make any boy submit to her command. She has an air of superiority and her body posture produced the said air. Her voluptuous body was comparable to a models. She liked wearing shorts when going out to show off her beautiful legs, but unfortunately this university had a dress code. I’m a sucker for legs. I love legs.

Claire told me her version of the story. It didn’t sound like she’s trying to convince me, it sounded more like she’s annoyed that I didn’t believe in her precious Eric’s story.

Another girl sat beside Eric on his left side and joined the conversation.

"Your mother was there. She asked us a lot of questions about the incident you know…" The girl said and told us her version of the story. It was long, boring and incredibly detailed and it made me drift off to ‘day dreamland’.

The girl’s name is Dianne Duria. It seems that these girls took the same classes as Eric’s so they can be with him. She’s a petite girl. I estimated that her height was about 160 cm more or less. She has a short black hair. Although her breasts weren’t as impressive as Claire’s, they were at least proportional to her slender but petite body. She’s very cute and to describe her overall appearance and attitude one word comes to mind: Innocence.

You see, Dianne was my childhood friend. We knew each other since we were 6. Her mother was the bookkeeper for my Dad’s old printing business. We played a lot when we were kids. We went to the same school from elementary to high school. We spent a lot of time together and became good friends. I eventually fell in love with her, but unfortunately she didn’t feel the same way.

I confessed, but she told me that I would always be her friend. It hurts to be rejected, but I accepted it in the end. It took some time to go back to where our relationship used to be, but we recovered. I was hopeful that she would develop the same feelings for me but the last sliver of hope was shattered when Eric transferred to our class when we were in our third year of high school.

We had a seating arrangement and Eric’s seat was beside me. I learned that we share the same hobbies: Video games, Animes, Light Novels, and Manga. We became friends and we spent a lot of time playing MMOs. Of course I still hang out with Dianne, but she became more distant to me. Especially once she and Eric also became friends.

Later on Dianne told me that she liked Eric. She wanted to confess her feelings to him and asked ME for an advice since I’m his best friend. She didn’t give a thought to what I feel. Her ‘innocence’ made her insensitive and made her skull so thick.

I don’t know if she really confessed. It was only when we were in senior high that I moved on. I can truly say that I don’t have the same feelings for her anymore.

As Dianne’s storytelling ended, I snapped back to reality when I heard Claire speak.

"That pretty cop is Miguel’s mom?" Claire asked with looks of disbelief. "No offence…"

"None taken…" I said in defeat. Yeah, I had that doubt too. Maybe I was adopted. I don’t have any resemblance with my family but I didn’t care. I love them and there are things that I don’t need to know.

The class finally started and the professor skipped the introductions and started writing on the board and went on with his lessons. Although I hate the subject, I was consistently on the dean’s list and I have a reputation to maintain. The reputation that I’m smart that is.

Time flew fast and the class ended. I went to my next class biology only to find that Eric and his harem had the same class as me. It was only then I learned that we had the same schedule every Monday and Wednesday.

It’s irritating, especially seeing those girls trying to win Eric’s attention. Eric on the other hand, was using me as an excuse to escape the clutches of Claire and Dianne. I think that’s the reason for their cold attitude to me. Were they envious that Eric was more attentive to me? Ho ho ho… Does that mean I’m a member of Eric’s harem now? The idea made me cringe.

As we walked along the corridor, Eric walked beside me.

"So… I thought you would come to the movie with us. I got us the tickets." Eric said.

"Hmm? I didn’t know. If I knew you’d watch Legendary Moonlight Sculptor I’d definitely come." I said to him. It was the movie that Eric and I waited for so long. Both of us read the novel and the manga so when we heard a year ago that there’s going to be a movie adaptation, we were so excited.

"My phone's broken so I told Dianne to invite you and give you the ticket."

"Really?"

We both turned our heads and glared at Dianne and she laughed wryly as she scratched her head. Stupid bitch! One of these days, she’s really going to get it from me.

"Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Dianne has her reasons." I was starting to get furious but I held it back. I missed my long awaited movie. What the fuck is her problem with me?

"Yeah…" Eric glared at the Dianne as if scolding her. She lowered her head in silence. Claire looked at me and her facial expression was telling me ‘No regrets’ with her eyes looking down on me. I wish there’s a facial expression for ‘fuck you’ I’d be glad to show Claire and Dianne a ‘fuck you face’ every day. I was getting tired of being seen as a hindrance. I wished Eric would just leave me alone so I would never see those bitches faces showing annoyance again.

I couldn’t blame Eric. He’s a handsome guy. He looked like Ben Barnes. Standing at 175 cm with a well-toned and athletic body, any girls would see him as the Knight in Shining Armor. Even though he’s a gamer like me, he’s physical fit. He goes to gym once a week and he also likes to play tennis.

I don’t know why these girls cling to him so much. I mean, were there really girls willing to share a guy? If so then Eric is a lucky bastard. I asked him once who he liked. He told me that he was still undecided. I could only sigh at his indecisiveness.

Even with his indecisiveness, he’s a good guy. I enjoyed hanging out with him and I was never bored.

As the class started, I sat down and Dianne sat beside me. Eric, as usual was seated between Claire and Dianne.

"I’m sorry…" Dianne whispered to me.

I looked at her without turning my head and nodded. I didn’t say anything. I pretended to listen to what the professor was saying but I could see in my peripheral vision that she was still staring at me. She grabbed something from her bag.

"Here…" Dianne whispered as she handed me a ticket.

It was a movie ticket for Legendary Moonlight Sculptor. She was giving me an expired movie ticket. I’m done being insulted. As soon as I tore the ticket in half Dianne's eyes began to water. She wiped her eyes and Eric and Claire saw it, but I didn’t care. Claire’s stare was disturbing though.

I showed them my best pissed off face and whispered. "It’s useless. It’s already expired."

Claire gave me ‘hmphh’ while Eric nodded. Dianne’s face turned sour and didn’t say another word as she looked at the ticket.

She could’ve invited me. If she wanted some time alone with Eric and Claire, it was fine as I always try not to disturb their harem moments. I always sit far away from them every time we watch movies. Eric knew that I would’ve wanted to focus on the movie so he’d understand.

The class ended and it was time for lunch. I planned to eat lunch alone because I really wanted to murder someone, but Eric insisted that we eat together. He’s treating me for lunch saying that he owed me a lot for helping him with his research paper last year, but I think it’s just a poor attempt to console me. Even with a poor attempt, I ended up accepting his offer. Free food is free.

We went outside the campus and Eric said he discovered a place with good food.

We entered a small restaurant and we were the only customers.

We were eating our lunch in silence. I was sitting alone on Eric’s opposite side of the table. Claire took the seat beside Eric while Dianne sat beside Claire. It’s unusual. Usually, she sits next to Eric. Perhaps Dianne was trying to coax Claire to take her side.

Claire’s sharp eyes were glaring at me like a dagger. A fool! Two can play at this game. I also gave her my most terrifying glare. It only took five seconds for her to give up. She looked defeated as she looked down eating her meal. I turned my glare to Dianne and as soon as our eyes met, she also looked down. Her eyes were starting to get wet again so I decided broke off my ‘death glare’.

We went on eating without saying a word when suddenly, the ground shook. It was a strong earthquake probably the strongest one I’ve ever felt. I quickly got down went under the table. Seeing what I did, Eric and the girls did the same.

"Oh god!" Dianne cried as she held Claire’s arms tightly. The tears she was trying to hold back earlier gushed like a water fall.

"I don’t wanna die!" Claire finally succumbed to fear and cried.

"Shit. Shit. Oh shit… What do we do?" Eric was starting to panic.

I didn’t know why I was calm at that time. In my mind, I was thinking of what to do in case the roof collapse and we’re trapped.

"Calm down." I said in a firm but reassuring voice. "No one’s going to die. Just stay down and cover your head."

They all nodded in agreement as they looked at me. I scanned the area and I saw on the windows that a building had collapsed to the ground and the sign ‘Jollibee’ went down along with it. Seriously, when you see something like that you’ll definitely freak out, but I resolved to keep a calm mind. If I panic my friends will surely follow.

The earthquake lasted for about a minute. It took longer than I expected. Eric and the girls started to get up but I stopped them and told them to stay down in case of an aftershock. They eagerly complied and we waited for a few minutes under the table.

As soon as the lights went out, I heard a sound. It was a Ding sound. After the sound, a blue screen popped and floated in front of me.

*DING!*

Notification Message Test.

This is a test.

I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating, but when I opened my eyes again, there it was again. A blue screen floating in the air. After a few seconds, a series of blue screens popped up one after another.

*DING* Merging of Universe 45872-CLSFTASDX-6520352604694 and Universe 26550-HSDPGDIFO-5263487317415…. 100% Complete Renaming universe: Merged Universe-MU-1 Disable Electronic Technology: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete

Warning: All electronic technology such as communication devices, computers, and other electronic machines and equipment will fail.

Yes Sinestra, no more vibrators for you! Disable Advanced Weaponry Technology: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete

Warning: All advanced weaponry such as, but not limited to, guns, explosives and other similar propellants will fail.

Just to make things more interesting. Disable Combustion Engine Technology: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete

Warning: All machines using combustion engine technology such as… Anything.

Jet engine and all the shit except steam engines. Why? Because I love steampunk. Disable Language Barriers: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete Open Gates to Spiritual Realm: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete Enable Magical Laws: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete Enable Runic Magic Technology: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete Enable Monster Spawn and Monster Evolution: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete

Warning: Monsters will spawn and evolve on a regular interval rate.

You humans are so screwed! Enable Loot System and Shop System: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete Enable Restricted System Access of all Sapient Races: Merged Universe-MU-1… 100% Complete

Tip: Say ‘Open Help Menu’ for more info. I will at least to give you a fighting chance.

My eyes widened in disbelief as I stare at the message on the blue screen. I hoped that this was just a terrible prank. I turned my stare to Eric and the girls.

“Are you seeing this?” I asked.

Eric and the girls’ mouth were opened wide and didn’t say anything. They just nodded. Shit. What the hell is happening?

*DING*

Hello world!

This is God.

I bid all of you welcome.

I based this world from the current game I’m playing, so I thought it would be a good idea to see how pests like mortals would survive in this kind of environment.

I do hope you entertain me and enjoy it while you can. You’re all totally fucked up now…

Good luck!

P.S.: Once you die, you die. There’s no respawn.

A god? A god exists? He turned this world into a game? Holy shit on a stick! Oh god, you’re fucking nuts!

*DING!*

Yes Miguel, I exist. I can even read your mind and every mind in this universe.

I’m not a fan of blasphemy and please use proper capitalization when you refer to me. It’s God. Not god. I’m obviously the strongest amongst the deities or spirits who claim to be gods so I deserve the title ‘God’ with a capital G.

I gulped when another message popped up. I tried my best to digest the message. It looks like God can really read my mind so it’s probably for the best not to offend him. I wonder if he can also read my memories. Hey God, who’s my first kiss?

*DING!*

Oh Miguel,

Thou shalt not test the Lord thy God…

I’m quoting the bible here. I must say it’s an interesting read. Pretty brutal for my taste but it’s a good fiction.

Anyway, I can access your memories. To answer your question: No one. You’ve never been kissed by anyone before. Your mom and your sister did but it doesn’t count. You never had a girlfriend and you’ll most likely be a virgin forever.

And for the last time, use proper capitalization. Refer to me as God, He, Him, His and all other pronoun.

And yes, do not offend me. As of now I have already smitten a million heathens who offended me across the planet. You’re probably the first worm who grew a tiny brain and decided to try not to offend me. Congratulations…

Ugly thoughts about me won’t be punished as long asthose thoughts aren’tintentionally directed towards me. After all, I’m a forgiving God.

Oh…Kay...

At least He’s an active God unlike the other one. Even though I recognize that He exists but that’s that. Hell, I’ll be angry if someone doesn’t recognize my existence. I won’t worship Him since I’m not a religious person plus I don’t like sucking up and He probably doesn’t like people who kiss His ass.

*DING*

Yeah, I hate ass kissers. I don’t need their praises or songs of worships. Who do they think I am?

I like the way you think by the way. You’re fun to talk with. We should do this a lot.

As a gift… For being worthy of God’s attention, the SYSTEM rewarded you with the following:

Reward(s):

Unique Skill: Quick Learner [Passive] Lvl 1

Effect: You earn Exp and Skill Exp as twice as fast and you can learn Skills by doing random actions repeatedly.

"Hahahaha!" I couldn’t help but laugh like an idiot. Eric and the girls were staring at me.

"Miguel? Are you okay?" Eric asked.

"I think he lost it." Claire said.

"Yeah, I’m fine. Ehrmm…" I said to them as I cleared my throat.

So let’s try to think about what happened. I got a unique skill. Certainly, it wouldn’t be called ‘unique’ if someone other than me got it. Is it possible to learn magic by thinking it? We’ll find out soon enough, but right now it would be for the best to keep this as a secret.

"So what now?" Dianne asked and she looked concerned about me. Or perhaps she’s concerned about herself and Eric and her eyes were on me. Whatever that means, I wasn’t buying it.

"What are we gonna do?" Claire asked.

"I’m trying to think…" I said. My mind at that time was blank and I have no idea what to do. Sure, it’s obvious that we have to do anything to survive but how?

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!" A woman screamed. "Help me!!!!"

We all turned our heads to where the voice came and realized that it was from the restaurant. The woman came in running towards us. She was the waitress who served us our food.

"Help me!!!" She screamed as she hid behind Eric. Really!? My senses were telling me that another harem member for Eric showed up. I should probably ignore this for now.

A creature about three feet tall appeared. It has pale green skin, sharp and long nose and two small tusks on its jaw. In its right hand it's holding a blood stained dagger. The instant it saw us, it stopped.

As I observe the creature, I saw a blue screen floating on its head.

Goblin Lvl. 2

It hissed as it flashed its sharp teeth in an attempt to intimidate us. Claire and Dianne were freaking out and Eric was still in shock. I stood up and walked slowly towards the goblin.

I wasn’t trying to look cool and it’s stupid to pretend to be a hero, but this goblin would kill all of us if we do nothing, so I volunteered to do something. To save our asses.

I picked up a wooden chair and rushed towards the goblin. I hit it with the chair and the goblin flew and crashed on the wall with a thud. The impact was strong enough to break the chair into pieces.

As soon as I hit, a blue number floated on its head.

-25 HP I assumed that this number was the damage I dealt. The creature was twitching as it desperately tried to stand but I didn’t give it a chance. I grabbed a wooden leg from the chair I broke and hit it on its head. -14 HP -16 HP Target Died

The numbers stopped when I hit it twice and another blue text floated that said ‘Target Died’. I hit the goblin one more time on the head to make sure it was really dead. I hit it with all I got and warm blood splashed on my face. Three blue screens popped up.

*DING!* Level up! You have gained a new skill!

Bash [Active] Lvl 1 Beginner

Effect: Use Fist/Blunt weapon/Shield to bash your opponents and stun them. Weapon Damage, STR and Skill Level will affect [Bash] damage. Stun effect on Target will depend on Size and Physical Damage Resistance of the Target.

Current Damage [Physical]: 31

SP Cost: 15 You have gained a new skill!

Blunt Weapon Mastery [Passive] Lvl 1 Beginner

Effect: Increase Proficiency with Blunt Weapons by 25%. Increase Damage with Blunt Weapons by 2% every level.

Current Bonus Damage [Physical]: 2%

Interesting… So is this the effect of Quick Learner Skill? If so, how do you learn skills normally?

As soon as I recovered, I turned to others and saw their fear as they looked on me.

"Are you alright?" I asked them.

I know it’s a stupid question, but the fear on their faces bothers me. I was trying my best to look as concerned as possible. Of course, they didn’t reply. They’re still scared and shocked.

Eric nodded as he calmed down. He took up a wooden leg as he approached the goblin’s corpse. As soon as he saw the broken corpse he gagged and vomited on the floor. I patted his back as he threw up everything he ate. Yeah, it looked horrible, but I wonder why the corpse never bothered me.

"M-Miguel!" Claire yelled as she pointed behind us.

Goblin Lvl. 2 Goblin Lvl. 2

Another two goblins appeared. Eric and I looked at each other and nodded. We knew what to do and it has to be done. We gathered our courage and readied our makeshift weapons.

“I’ll take the one on the left, you take the right.” I said to him.

This is going to be a long day. Indeed, a very long day.