Chapter 3

What is nature?

When one thinks of nature, leaves and all sorts of greenery would immediately come to mind. The smell of fresh air in the countryside, the chirping of birds, the sensation of wind in your hair and the rays of sunshine upon your skin.

That is nature.

Well, that’s what books told me, at least. I’ve never left the city before.

However, at times like this, I was so clearly aware of the lack of said things. The leaves were grey, the wood's white, everything’s glowing and growling and it constantly felt like you are underwater.

Truly, nature is unbridled here.

Well, at least there are animals.

And dirt, apparently. Dry clusters of inedible white lumps build up the earth beneath, seeping downwards until it turns into solid “walls” of the [Beyond].

…

And I attempted to eat the dirt, once.

…

Just to make sure.

…

Whatever you say, you filthy animal.

On the topic of food, trying desperately to forget about the texture of sawdust the [dirt] gives, I spent quite some time refilling my lost reserves, at the same time testing out my newly reconstructed jaws.

I tried it out on the [Stick Mantises] and the [Green Worms], snatching them up with much greater ease than before. Previously, I had to move forward and [Tug] them in at the same time in order to swallow the creatures, but now I can simply bite down upon them, trapping them within my jaws and teeth.

However, it wasn’t exactly what I needed as their main purpose wasn’t snapping at critters. They were meant for much bigger preys.

While the [Undergrowth] was full of life, namely [Green Worms], they seemed to demonstrate the ability to burrow underground into the [dirt] beneath when in danger. That didn’t save them from my [Spears] that reached down after them, but it meant that they tend to run away whenever I appear, limiting the amount of [Essence] I can acquire at once.

That’s fine. I wasn’t trying to massacre them. If anything, their ability to struggle and survive made me felt better since I wasn’t just massacring them without a chance of retaliation.

Does having a fighting chance makes it easier to accept killing them? I wondered, It probably shouldn’t by moral standards, but it does.

I refrained from going after the [Deers] and [Monkeys] so far, since having big herbivores probably mean having big predators too, but it was growing more and more tempting to do so. With the size difference between a [Green Worm] and a [Deer], I could almost salivate from imagining the amount of [Essence] I could get.

I resisted for a while, however.

I got no idea how long it was. There are no days nor shifting of light, along with the fact that I do not require sleep or rest, it meant that I had no measurements as of how long I’ve... .awoken,

Days? Weeks?

Does it matter?

I twisted my mind out of the clouds again. I was travelling above the [Undergrowth] at a distance where the [Green Worms] cannot detect me. The [Stick Mantis] however, with their beady eyes could spot me from a few meters away — which wasn’t much. Definitely not enough to save them.

I stuck close to the [Ash Trees], coiling around the trunks in order to hide my profile and avoiding the open air. Below me once again were the oblivious worms and some other grey coloured barely-worth-anything critters whose sole purpose was to wiggle and die.

I ignored them, however.

I’m going for the [Deers].

Even though I could “refill” my [Deposit] with [Green Worms] alone, I had a plan to follow. I wanted to have eyes — as in plural. My mono-eye gimmick was fun for a while, being pretty useful. However, having your eyes to be located directly in the centre of your place while you are employing that very face as a weapon proved to be a mistake. Earlier, while I was attempting to chomp on a [Stick Mantis] I almost poked my eyes out on a branch as I lunged forward. It was at that point I understood why most creatures have two eyes — just so that they don’t damage them when they crash into something sharp and nasty in a straight line.

However, for such “reconstruction”, I predicted I would require an absolutely ludicrous amount of [Essence] to complete and simply using the [Green Worms] weren’t fast enough or efficient. I need a higher source of [Essence], and the [Deers] seemed so awfully tempting to me.

Perhaps the [Monkeys] would be easier to kill as they are much smaller and “fragile” looking, but I knew that they travel in numbers up to twenty and I couldn’t “flee” to anywhere in between the trees since the entire [Area] was a forest.

In contrast, the [Deers] travel in groups of two or three, making them much easier to deal with.

As of right now, I kept my eyes peeled. I might not have “ears”, but I could still hear the “sound” of animals rushing through the leaves and sand-dirt.

The creatures of the [Beyond] do not appear to require liquid to survive, which meant the age-old trick of “follow the water” to hunt animals meant absolutely nothing. I mean, do they even have any instincts? They are made from disembodied pieces of souls and memories after all.

I’ll have to use my senses and body alone to trick them.

I raised my position a bit higher up so that I remain outside of the [Deers]’ eye level, slowly stalking by. One good thing about being able to float-swim was that I could avoid touching anything that could make sound, like the rough bark of the [Ash Trees] or leaves.

It wasn’t too long until I spotted the tell-tale image and sound of something four-legged and green slowly stepping through the forest. Their forms were tall and long, almost as long as I am, but that meant nothing because while their “sizes” were bigger, I contain more “mass” of [Essence] within me, and thus is sturdier.

They travelled below me, and I thought about how I should go about doing this. This was a group of two [Deers] in equal size, one after another. I should go for the one in the back as an ambush so that by the time the one in the front notices, it would be too late.

It’s your first run. You can afford to fail, not like you are going to starve or anything.

Aside from that, facing a creature almost one-and-a-half times your own size was rather… daunting. The largest creature that was remotely dangerous to me that I’ve faced in my past life was a rat the size of a cat. The bloody thing hissed at me and tried to take a chunk out of my poor useless legs so I batted it with my crane and sent it screaming out the toilet, breaking a window in the process.

Good times.

I waited for the two to go past me as I silently waited above. Once the second one went ahead, I started to trail behind them from a distance. I could also attempt to do it in a style of the snake, which was to remain coiled and motionless, and launch into the incarnation of violence once they enter within range.

…

Let's go with the air-raid option.

I kept my eyes on the first [Deer] that spent its time scouting the way, eyes out and scanning. It “sniffed” the air, walking slowly. The second followed behind, padding softly. I hovered way above them, trailing the two.

Eventually, the first [Deer] stopped in its track, neighing softly. The second one seemed to understood whatever it said and walked off to a bush. The first [Deer] hoofed the ground, digging up dirt and sand.

I watched it carefully, wary of those hooves. They looked quite solid — much more so than creature I’ve seen so far. I shuddered at the thought of getting kicked by them.

The [Deer] lowered its head to the ground, seemingly having found what it was looking for. I went around the preoccupied [Deer] and looked for the second one as loud veggie-crunching noise sounded.

It was still in the bush, it’s eyes scanning the ground vigilantly.

They should really learn to look up.

Silently, I slowly slithered down the tree I was on, hovering just over the tree bark to avoid friction — if there were any to begin with.

I coiled myself, pressing together like to a serpent would do in a film — in a rush of thoughts and feeling, I suddenly understood - no — remembered why snakes would do this.

Something overcame me.

Speed, for that split moment, was everything. I felt my body growing taut all over, waxy muscles tensing up for an explosive launch. The textures on the back of the [Deep] popped out at me — I could see all of the ridges under the skin, the bones that jutted out from its spine, the strange leathery texture that seemed suddenly ever so fragile.

I felt my lips curling back, exposing my numerous needle-like teeth that spiked into a mesh. I wondered how it would feel to tear into the [Essence] of the creature, to rip it’s flesh from its bones, crushing its skull and eyes within my stomach —

I leapt.

My jaws opened wide, teeth shining in the [Beyond] as I homed in for the neck. I felt the current propelled me forward, my fins flattening as I slipped through the space between us.

I felt its panic when it noticed me. I saw its head slowly turning as if in slow motion, the two eyes swirling to find me. I saw as its legs began to tense up, readying and trying to move its body away from my jaws.

But it was too late. Much too late.

My jaw snapped closed around its throat. It was slightly off the mark from it flinching but that didn’t matter at all when my teeth hooked in, my muscles driving the points deep. I felt the flesh gave way, bones cracking, shattering as my teeth punctured and broke through.

My body behaved as if it had a will on its own, my bulky body wrapping around the neck of the [Deer] like a serpent. There was a burst of flavour unlike any I’ve ever tasted, flooding my mind with its images.

Greedily I sucked from the wound, draining the [Essence] of my victim as it buckled wildly. Dimly I was aware of our bodies hitching and shook, slamming into the trees and bursting through the grey greeneries — it was all irrelevant.

I felt the body beneath shudder, the way my jaws slowly crushed the crystalline spine, teeth drilling into the marrow. There was a shrill sound echoing about me, a sound that seemed so far away yet so close.

Then, I realized it came from the body beneath me.

I didn’t feel disgusted, at that moment, I felt annoyed instead. Annoyed at how loud it was being. Annoyed at the way it screeched so loudly, angry at its futile attempts to shake me off.

Crunch.

The head popped off, the sound stops abruptly, like a TV that was heartlessly unplugged.

I regarded the head as it rolled on the ground as the body beneath me slumped, unmoving. The eyes were still moving, the mouth opening and closing as if it was trying to speak.

It was as if I’m in a movie. My body moved inexorably on its path, cold and tingling. My jaws reached around its, holding it firmly within my much larger cavity. Somehow, I found myself forcing it down my throat. Somehow, I felt it travelling down my gullet, flesh grinding away as the blades and whips chip away the bones and flesh, cracking down the crystalline [Soul Stone].

It tingled as it broke down into raw [Essence], dispersing into my body.

Then, there was s moment of clarity as feelings came back, rushing in like a broken dam. It was as if a fog cleared in my mind — cold and sharp. The way the trees stood tall and high, judging, the numbness in my flesh, the taste of steak within my mouth.

…

Did I just…?

Impossible.

I tried to remember what I just did, trying my best to remember the way the trees moved, the way that I tangled myself in this impossibly quick burst of violence.

But none came to me. All I could recall as I stared down at the green stain on the white forest floor was of the way the [Deer] screeched and bucked underneath me, the way its neck snapped with minimal effort and the heavy taste of steak.

I…

I no longer require breathing, no blood runs in my veins and no heartbeats within me. Memories of mortal excitement, fear, disgust flooded through me as if it was a recording, something that was perhaps once a part of me but now felt so foreign.

Move on, remember? You’ve told yourself that.

…

What’s done is done. You did what you did to grow stronger.

Leafs rustled.

I looked back.

There was disfigured body, headless and lifeless, slumped onto the floor like a trash bag, unwanted and abandoned. Above and behind it stood a [Deer]. A second one. I met its horrified gaze, seeing the terror and uncertainty within it’s eyes, frozen when it knew it drew my attention.

Oh, right. There was a second one.

We two, and a minus, stared down at each other, unsure as to how to proceed beyond this standoff. Gradually, the green faded from it as we both stilled yet in my eyes it was still so blindingly obvious.

It neighed nervously, shaking, slowly backing off. Its eyes moved off me, glancing about as if it was searching for something.

Suddenly it came to me that I would seem invisible to it when I stayed still. Apparently, even to their pearly blue eyes couldn’t find me.

Neighing, it suddenly broke into a sprint, its slender limbs carrying it as fast as possible as it could manage, disappearing into the woods, all pretence of being subtle disappearing.

Gradually, the sound of rustled leaves could no longer be heard. There was no sound, not the buzz of [Green Worms] as they would move through the earth, not the distant laughter of [Monkeys] nor the chirps of [Stick Insects].

There was nothing save for me and the green body next to me. The [Essence] settled within me, filling almost half of my [Deposit] with the [Soul Stone] I had devoured alone. I felt no weight yet it was strangely heavy, filling.

I had a vague sense that it was something that I should never have done, that the forest now remembered my violence and danger and I’ve somehow —

Somehow crossed a line.

I gazed at the body, it being both tantalising and morbid, the [Essence] already dissipating into the grey and white. When I first decide upon this hunt, I never expected this…

I am retarded.

In fact, in hindsight, I never knew what I had expected otherwise. It was inevitable that something would end up dying and there would be a body left behind. It would be too much to ask for when I was attempting to hunt something that much larger than me.

I slowly paddled forward to the fallen body. Wisps of grey and green floated up and faded away, dispersed. The flesh slowly melted like ice, losing its coherency.

I…

I have to eat the body, consume the [Essence] before it all disappears too.

But, I couldn’t bring myself to do so, suddenly afraid. Elisa would never kill and devour another being on the spot. Elisa was an orphan that knew nothing about violence and survival.

But people change. People change all the time Elisa.

I don’t want to lose my identity. I felt so absurdly distant again, as if I’m narrating the story of someone else, someone where you knew all the answers to her question, someone that you could feel so decisively objective about. If it were, my life would never be one like a book where it always focuses upon the action sequences, the protagonist that conquer his enemies and the way he would always find a conclusion. I knew, in a ridiculous way, I didn’t want to change any bits of what I was, to change my mind of who I was previously, before dying.

Afraid of change.

Afraid of losing.

Afraid of being something else, something that I wasn’t without even knowing.

But I knew, I just knew that I must continue on. It wasn’t that the future was scaring me — I’ve died once, and I know what comes after. What I do know is that there is nothing left to go back to.

A hero could always settle down, become a farmer, find a wife and sire children. Anyone can give up on their ambitions if they so finally desire to do so.

I had and still have nothing but me and the open expanse before me.

People change all the time. You must do what you must to survive. Morality and ethics hardly matter. It would neither shelter you, feed you or save you when the time comes.

My jaws opened, and I devoured.

To the last, tiny scrap.