Chapter 1

I have concluded a human being consists of about four hundred [Grey Blobs] worth of [Essence] — or at least the amount a fourteen-year-old human that spent her life unwanted can contain. I reached that particular number after doing some intense, brain-twisting math that should not be humanly possible.

Who are you even kidding, Elisa? I muttered to myself.

Thirty-eight.

I need friends.

I should also stop talking to myself.

Go me.

I turned away from my internal one-woman screenplay and back to reality, which consists of popping stupid [Green Worms] one after another into my mouth, where they promptly got squeezed through my throat into the waiting [Stomach] and getting bashed to bits.

In terms of [Green Worms], consuming around sixty of them will give me enough [Essence] to create an entirely new me, and the yellow [Soul Stones] give about 5 [Grey Blobs] worth of [Essence].

…

I should probably rename the unit of [Essence] with just numerals instead. That would be more practical since I’m using [Grey Blobs] as the standard anyway.

Yay. Floating murder fish, smart!

…

I need friends, I repeated, self-deprecating humour could only go so far.

As of currently, I supposed that my most immediate goal was to make myself sturdier — not that anything currently could harm me. I am of the firm belief that not having raw, tender skinless flesh exposed is the correct method of staying alive.

To achieve so, I will need an absolutely copious amount of [Essence] to do so. As a fish-shaped monstrosity, I opted for creating scales that will cover my entirety, since that would allow me to remain bendy yet sturdy.

Probably.

I am about eighteen [Grey Blobs] long, not counting the amount my six tendrils… I’ll need probably around four hundred [Essence] — ah that sounds way better than before — to create a complete suit of scales, and that meant I’ll need to kill around sixty [Green Worms] in order to collect enough [Essence] to fuel the [Self-Mould].

While my earlier epiphany had certainly given myself a shock and a well-needed morale boost, I realized that it absolutely didn’t change anything regarding my activity, which was to slaughter innocent creatures.

So much for that grand vow, huh?

Thirty-nine.

…

I swear [Green Worms] are suicidal. Despite having me literally hovering out of their reach, stabbing them with my [Spears] one by one before eating them, none of them ran away at all.

At least [Red Blobs] got survival instincts, you idiots.

…

Well, at least they are good for target practice, I thought morosely as I sent another [Spear] down into the mass of angry worms below, {Impaling} yet another [Green Worm] with the crystalline tip. Hooked by the barbs, the struggling veggie-coloured worm took a one way trip to my gullet.

Forty. Yay.

As I was hunting, I was simultaneously using [Self-Mould] to see how long it takes for it to work, since previously I had absolutely no reference for the passage of time — or cared about it. Turns out, growing stuff with the power will and souls of stuff was pretty easy. A single [Green Worm] can give about four thin scales, which by the time it finished growing another [Green Worm] was on its way.

Below me was absolute chaos. Wriggling forms crawled over each other, trying to build up to reach me like ants. That served to be a terrible idea since it only made it easier for me to get at them.

Forty-one

If I wasn’t absolutely slaughtering them, I would feel pity for them. Just what kind of evolution would create this stupid creature?

But then, the column was pretty damn large, and on its crawls hundreds upon hundreds of [Green Worms] and their brood.

…

Killing them one by one is really not efficient, isn’t it?

…

What about killing them all at once, then suck up the remains? It certainly makes eating much easier.

I gazed downward at the heaving mass dispassionately. There were about… thirty of them piling up at once, and more arriving from beyond. If I start killing them by the groups, then I could potentially get stuck. Wolfs can take down much larger prey when they have the numbers after all.

It might get dangerous, I argued.

Forty-two —

It’s not like you won’t need the skill, Elisa. You can’t expect that this cheat can be used forever.

But —

Ye need to learn how to take on groups, young one, I sagely said to myself, Having an opponent to wet your blade is a good way to train your will…

…

I sighed to myself, defeated by my own logic. Of course I’m right.

…

So how do animals kill a large amount of smaller animals quickly again?

How would I know, genius? I would say they don’t because they are not idiotic enough to take on entire hordes!

…

Oh right, I realized, I was a human. And humans are really good at killing many things really quickly.

Forty-three.

For creepy crawlies, ye need to burn them with fire, of course.

… and how do we do that?

Is setting a fire even possible in the [Beyond]? I highly doubt it contains the idea of “humidity” or “heat” here.

What about blobbing them?

Blobbing them?

Yeah, blobbing them.

What the heck do you mean, blobbing them?

You know, blobbing. The red ones!

Blobs… Well [Red Blobs] do have a way to somehow leech the [Essence] out of other creatures with their bodies alone, but I got absolutely no idea how to mimic that. Do they [tug] on things? I know they can do that since they can move.

…

Well, what are [Red Blobs] anyway? Or blobs in general?

If [Grey Blobs] were just [Essence] formed from souls purging themselves, then [Red Blobs] are aggressive blobs of [Essence].

So… just throw blobs of [Essence] at them while thinking angrily?

Forty-four.

…

It sounds stupid.

It’s gonna work, trust yourself.

I really don’t.

Vetoed.

Oh, and before doing so, the victorious part of my mind said, We should create a separate [Deposit] for this. Don’t wanna accidentally spend everything.

Momentarily withdrawing from the carnage, I turned my mind fully into [Self-Moulding] mode. If I’m going to throw blobs of [Essence] at people, I’m going to do it as grandly as possible.

A fire-breathing dragon, really? Elisa? You are fourteen!

Shh, let me focus, Sarcasm.

Putting the [Auto-scale] process on hold, I imagined another cavity opening — this time above my throat. In it, I once again compressed the sides with my faux-flesh, turning it into crystalline structures of [Essence]. Inside, I allowed part of my [Deposit] to travel there — five [Essence] worth for trial.

The pool slowly formed, filling up with gaseous [Essence] — the most simple form of [Essence]. With a thought, I imagined a ring of muscle around it, a muscle that could tighten at will, squeezing the [Essence] out from a crystal tube like a giant squirt gun.

Again, the tingling sensation came in waves as the flesh rebuilt itself, bubbling and reforming. Behind my throat I could feel a subtle pressure building up, eager to release.

Glands, get!

Returning back to reality once more, the mountain of [Green Worms] below me already dispersed, me being out of their detection range. Instead of free-roaming as they usually did, however, they opted to congregate at their separate nests, screeching and waving their hair.

It seemed that with my constant attack, they finally decided I’m a repeating menace that will not be going away anytime soon, which was absolutely correct. Some nearby [Green Worm] colonies even started carrying their “eggs” in their mouth and migrating away, [Green Worm: Big] and all too.

Noting that, it seemed that my designating hunting spot on the column had become rather deserted. Where there were about five or more colonies before, four of them had already evacuated from the spot, and the last few were already picking up their “eggs”.

Suddenly, I had a thought, What if the reason they crowded around me was to buy time for the rest of the colonies to escape? Some kind of mass sacrifice for the survival of the queen? So they actually aren’t suicidal?

Poor worms. They probably thought that their heroic sacrifice actually managed to drive off the great Cthulhu-Fish.

Feeling mysteriously guilty over terrorizing the puny worms, I apologized that I’m going to do so again.

Strangely uncomfortable, I went off to search for another spot on the other side of the column.

Getting guilty, ridiculous!

It didn’t take long for me travel, or to say, I have no idea how long it took. I paddled and paddled, probably moving at a faster rate than real fishes do since I’m both floating and there is no air resistance.

Wait, if there is no resistance, then how —?

Shh… let the magic work itself.

…

Over on the other side of the column, as expected, was completely covered with [Green Worms]. Here, the grass was green, deathly red blobs are floating and the kingdoms of worms are happy.

Then, out of the void, a great shadow appears! Unknowingly, a cataclysm from another world had invaded their peaceful world, and with it death and destruction… all to fuel it’s unceasing hunger.

…

Stop being so melodramatic, me.

True enough, the [Green Worms] on this side of the column seemed much less concerned about giant murderous fishes. The smaller [Green Worms] bravely ventured to collect the nutritious grey [Plant] and the [Green Worms: Big] stayed in their nests, creating their next generation.

Seeing that the [Plant] were short and sparse, there were literally nowhere for them to hide away.

Time to ruin their day.

Swimming to the closest nest and hovering over the worms, I readied my mind. I made sure to stay at a range that not even my [Spears] can reach them, since the {breath} was intended as a long-range offensive tool.

I could feel my [Breath Gland] tightening, itching to explode forward. The pressure in it was high, tightly bound with hard crystals and only held in place by a powerful muscle flap.

I took careful aim, orientating myself at the overly unobservant [Green Worms] so that my jaws pointed directly at the center of the nest, which was the [Green Worms: Big].

Muscles, check. Gas volume, check. Recoil compensation… probably.

Let's go!

Then I let loose the {Breath}.

“ffffBOOOOOOOOM!”

With a loud rumbling sound, the pressurized [Essence] sprayed out over the worm, muscles tightening for that extra oomph. I felt the gas rush through the crystal tube and out into the air, passing through the opened mouth. My fins splayed wide to prevent myself from being launched backwards, I watched as the carnage unfolded.

The five [Essence] worth of gas impacted the [Green Worms: Big] right in its centre with a meaty “thunk!”, blasting right off the pile of eggs. It flew through the air, tumbling against the [Beyond: Dirt], slamming into several lesser worms along the way. Eventually, its horrific tumble stopped some distance away, having left most of itself littered all over the place it expired, shattering into a cascade of green motes.

The [Green Worms] instantly scrambled in panic as bits of their presumed matriarch splattered over their bodies. Their loud squeals permeated the air as they scrambled all over the place frantically.

…

Well, that wasn’t what I was going for, but it worked.

The blast didn’t melt anything, unfortunately. Though it’s power can definitely splatter most targets efficiently, it didn’t have the effect I intended it to have. The [Essence] I spent in the breath were left as these [Grey Blobs] motes, painting the white landscape a shade darker.

Hmm… why didn’t it burn? I thought, disappointed at the results.

Under what condition does the [Red Blob] melt things? It only does it when it’s intending to attack or to eat…

Maybe it’s the intent? In most fantasy stories, the intent is the driving force for magic though.

…

That contains absolutely no logic at all.

… But it’s the most probable reason.

That’s stupid! "Probable" doesn’t mean it's true — ah screw it. Let’s try it anyway.

Refuelling my [Breath Gland] with another five [Essence], I went over — wait.

Gotta snatch the [Soul stones]!

Diving down, I swiftly [Tugged] the twenty or so [Soul Stones] into my mouth, devouring them. Truly, going for the [Soul Stones] was the most profitable strategy. However, since I didn’t want to permanently damage a colony, I didn’t attack them.

You just blew one off the map.

Oh well. Do I really care?

… Good point.

Shrugging, I floated over to a nest in the distance that was yet to be alarmed by my presence. This time, before firing my {Breath}, I decided to do something ridiculous.

Magic requires chanting, right?

That’s… stupid.

It’s gonna work. It ‘channels” intent!

Doesn’t make it any less stupid. We don’t even have a voice box.

… It’s the intent that counts. We are in a place made with imagination, after all.

…

…True enough. So, what, yell “FIRE” in our mind?

Sure, let's go with that.

Oh, how I enjoy my internal arguments.

Shaking my head at myself, I once again readied myself, aiming at the [Green Worms: Big] directly below me.

Arching my jaws wide open, I attempted to visualize the torrent that will come out — the heat, the blistering and merciless destruction that is fire.

The stopper flap at my [Breath Gland] opened, and once again the {breath} came out with absolute destruction in mind. With as much mental force as I could manage, I yelled out FIRE!

“Fffffphoooom!”

A great torrent poured out from my mouth. Instantly, I understood something was different this time.

It’s red — the colour of predators.

The large gaseous blast contains albeit quite a bit less thump! then before, it still impacted the [Green Worms: Big] with respectable power, tipping over the veggie-giant and splattering all over it.

Then, came the sizzling and the squealing.

The red faux-blob melted into the [Green Worms: Big]’s jelly body with the savagery of a wildfire. Even as it buckled and screeched, the red [Essence] tore holes in its form, burning away hungrily, turning the green into red.

With a screech, the [Green Worms: Big] expired, shattering. Yet, the fire did not stop in its path. It spread onto the eggs below, catching them in the conflagration too. In second, the entire nest was deconstructed into a red mush.

Out of fuel to burn, the red [Essence] flickered and died away eventually, leaving being a mountain of grey coloured motes, having deconstructed all down to the base form of [Essence].

…

Wow. That was brutal.

…

That could have gotten out of hand very quickly, I thought, suddenly nervous. What if I had caught on fire too? Can it even put out?

It’s fire, mate. Not everything catches on fire like gasoline. Besides, it's technically part of you.

It’s still really dangerous.

So, are [Red Blobs] balls of fire? Some obscure part of my mind said, which I pointedly ignored.

That’s the point, isn’t it?

Why do I always lose my own arguments?

It’s called denial of reality, love. Now, go see if the motes are edible.

Eying the grey mountain and tentatively swimming in, ignoring the screeching cries of the [Green Worms], I began to suck it in with [tug].

I should call that {Devour} instead. Less confusing for myself.

Coming to think about it, I hadn’t tasted a [Green Worms: Big] yet. Wonder if it’s any different.

The ash-like motes drifted into the air, showing no resistant to my {devour} at all. Like a vacuum, it swiftly entered my body and was processed into usable [Essence], quickly filling up my [Deposit] once again. With two nests worth of [Essence], my quota for four hundred [Essences] was quickly fulfilled.

Floating away once more, I couldn’t help but wonder about the flavour of overcooked beef on my mind:

Why didn’t I start with that?

With [Auto-Scale] up and running again, I swiftly finished the coat of scales I was going for originally. Granted, it wasn’t particularly thick, but it’s good enough protection.

I think.

I’m gonna need more [Essence].

Oh joy.

Well, getting [Essence] shouldn't be that difficult anymore with my new —Ehem — firepower. My two {Breath} modes: {Breath: Cannon} and {Breath: Incendiary} were beyond overpowered for this kind of stuff.

All I need was to get the attention of all of them, get them in one place and then set fire to the entire parade.

Sounds solid, you psychopath.

Oh, stop it, me.

Readying myself, I once again swooped down upon the [Green Worms] that were congregating around their former nest. With my [Spears], I gave them a jab to the rear to get their attention.

Immediately turning around, they wasted no time in trying to swarm me, hissing loudly.

Seems like they are angry. Really, really angry.

Dancing away, but keeping them just within sensory range, I slowly led them to more groups of [Green Worms]. Their tiny tendril-like feet were surpassingly fast, so I didn’t have to stall much.

Seeing each nest only sent a few “warriors” to follow me, I had to resolve to poke around ten nests in order to get a sizeable train behind me, which took me quite some while.

Floating above the angry [Green Worms] that were hell bent in ripping me to shreds, I regarded how such a sight would freak out any sane human being. Thirty cat sized worms rushing at you — ugh.

The worms were starting to climb over each other, stacking up in order to reach me, which was good since that meant it’s easy to hit a large number at once. At led them away again, this time I chose to hover over a nest.

Seeing that I’m intruding upon her royal majesty’s quarter, the [Green Worms] got even angrier. Even the palace guards joined in on the frenzy, climbing higher and higher in an effort to chase me away or drag me down.

Then, I felt that familiar tug again.

Oh, it's that again. Not seeing you in a while is not a valid excuse to visit. Shoo!

Resisting the pull, I turned back toward the mass beneath. Forty worms and more [Soul Stones] — what a barbecue this is going to be!

Compensating for the larger mass than before, I decided to supply my [Breath Gland] with a total of ten [Essence], which should be enough to cover a wider area.

Aiming carefully, I jaunted backwards to avoid my own blast radius, I unleashed the {Breath: Incendiary} with a mental roar.

“FFPHOOOOOOM!”

A massive column of red spilt out, splattering over the mountain of green like liquid lava, flowing down the sides like a waterfall. Immediately, a massive orchestra of screeches and boiling sound greeted my ears.

The mountain collapsed swiftly as burning [Green Worms] tumbled down like meteors. The once ambitious worm hill suddenly turned into a bonfire, the red jumping from one worm to another. The ones in the bottom squealed as they struggled to escape but to no avail, trapped by their own comrades.

I watched in both horror and awe as the tower melted before my eyes, dissolving into a mess of writhing green and red. Some made it bit further on the ground, crawling away before bursting into greyness as the fire on their back burnt through their [Soul Stone].

Then, there were but silence and ash that remains. In a large circle, all that’s left is a blackened field, scarred too deep in grey it appeared black instead.

Muted, I floated down to where the nest used to be. There was nothing recognizable left. The grey motes gently fluttered into the air as I neared.

…

Absolute silence.

Not dangerous, huh?

I know.

There was a chill that crawled up my non-existent spine as the reality of what I did. I just burnt dozens upon dozens of living beings to death.

I felt sick, though I couldn’t throw up.

I had no words for the destruction that I caused.

So, does hitting them and splatting them individually makes it better—?

Shut up.

It’s ridiculous —

Shut up.

I know it is ridiculous to feel guilt over this. It was merely the most efficient way of getting [Essence]. It is ridiculous to feel sad over lives that weren’t even real.

Fire flickers.

But I do anyway because no sane human can watch a fire burn down the forest without guilt. No sane human can remain unmoved as she listens to the screams of the victims of her actions. Because no sane human can set fire to something living, and think about making yourself stronger from it instead —

Oh wait, I thought bitterly, I’m not even human anymore, am I?

What am I?

Why do I even presume to follow human morals?

Because you were one.

Not anymore.

So what, you are just going to give it up?

…

What does being human mean to you, Elisa?

… That I’ll strive to do good?

You aren’t human. Good is relative.

Doesn't change the fact that I burned things alive, completely premeditated. People don't do that.

They aren't alive Elisa.

Are they?

…

Am I?

...

Not going to use this again. Not unless I don’t have any choice.

…

...

Sure.