Elizabeth woke up slowly. First, she felt the sheets and a scratchy linen shift against her skin. Then she smelt candle wax, felt her aching leg and sore body, and finally, she remembered what had happened.

She sat up, eyes shooting wide open. “Wha—goblins—Frances—”

“Goblins are dead and Frances is fine,” Martin told her, cutting over Elizabeth’s frightened stammering. “You’ve been out for a day. The convoy got here fine and we were brought back to camp by cavalry.”

Elizabeth blinked and nodded. “Oh. So it all worked out.” The exhaustion returned to her shoulders, and she leaned back onto the pallet and sheets, which she realized, were in her tent. She had hoped it would be a bed, but right now, she was glad to be on something soft.

“It all worked out?” growled a voice.

Elizabeth looked up and realized that that voice was Martin’s. The growl had come between clenched teeth and a scowling face.

“It all worked out? You nearly died!” Martin bellowed. Grabbing a fistful of his hair, Martin sat down beside Elizabeth, who stared at him with wide eyes.

“What were you thinking grabbing onto Frances’s wand when she was in the middle of a mage trance! You were lucky to get away with being knocked unconscious! According to Frances, she could have nearly killed you!”

“Oh. I…” Elizabeth felt her breath caught in her throat. After a moment’s panic, however, she blinked. “Well, no, I wouldn’t have died, I’d have been sent back to my world.”

Martin frowned and winced. “Alright, yes, but you still put yourself in ridiculous danger!”

“Did you have any better ideas about how to get us out of that situation?” Elizabeth shot back.

“No, and that’s why I’m angry!” Martin retorted. Burying his head in his palms, the knight let out a loud groan. “Sorry, it’s just, by Amura and Rathron, that was too damn close.”

Elizabeth breathed out and nodded. She lay beside her friend in silence, just glad that he was there when she woke up.

It was then a thought occurred to her.

“Where’s Frances by the way?” Elizabeth asked.

Martin grimaced. “After we were debriefed, I couldn’t find her.”

“Weird, I thought she would be the one to wake me up,” said Elizabeth. She snuggled back into her sheets, not too concerned. After all, Frances was bound to visit soon.

Just outside the camp’s palisade, Frances practiced singing her musical scales. This was something she usually did every morning after a snack, before breakfast. Today, though, she was doing it, because she really needed a distraction.

Yet, despite it being two hours since she started, she’d been unable to stop what she’d been thinking of for the past two days. How she had failed her friends and nearly got them killed. That thought had stayed with her, keeping her up at night, convincing her she had to avoid Martin and Elizabeth, making all food that passed her lips taste like ash.

Frances grabbed her flask of water, which hung in a pocket on her belt and wet her throat. She didn’t want to stop practicing and think, but Edana had repeatedly reminded her that she needed breaks.

Her hand inched toward the belt pouch, where her precious communication gift from her beloved mentor sat. Frances stopped though when she remembered how she’d lost control of her magic.

Except, she also knew Edana cared for her, and would also want to know. Besides, Frances was pretty certain that Edana’s love for her wouldn’t change because of this. Doubt nagged her at the back of her mind, but she did her best to ignore it.

Steeling herself, Frances pulled out her mirror and thought of Edana, her smile, her black hair, the slight stoop she walked with, and her cackling laugh.

“Frances! How are you?” Edana asked.

Frances felt herself relax, wondering how she could practically hear her mentor’s warm smile through the mirror. “Master I’m… I’m not hurt but…” She braced herself against the palisade. “I lost control of my magic. I hurt my friends.”

Edana’s eyes widened and the background, which was her study, shifted as she sat down at her desk. “Frances, can you tell me what happened exactly? I know you aren’t the person to hurt people, much less lose control of your magic.”

The surety and concern in her mentor’s voice brought a sigh of relief to Frances’s lips.

“So, I… I made two friends. You remember I was asking you about Elizabeth, that is, Kim Hae-Won, the Otherworlder who was coming to escort me? Well, we became friends, along with my other escort, a knight named Martin of Conthwaite.”

“That’s amazing. I’m really glad you found people to connect with,” Edana said.

Frances would normally have smiled at her teacher’s warm tone and smile. This time, however, she winced. “I’m glad too. It’s just that I—” she took a deep breath “—the day before yesterday, we were sent to escort a caravan. We were ambushed by goblins.”

“How many?” Edana asked as Frances swallowed.

“I saw forty, but I think there could have been more in the woods. It was hard to tell. ”

Edana’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something, but shut it, allowing Frances to continue.

“We fought them off as best we could, but then Martin got shot by an arquebus, and Elizabeth went down. I thought they were dead and… I-I don’t know what came over me. I was so angry and sad and I just… I wanted to kill them all, and I fell into a magic trance.”

Frances stopped, looking at her mentor, waiting for her to say something. She braced herself for a rebuke or a word, but Edana’s expression was neutral.

“Frances, go on.” Edana smiled softly. “I would rather know the whole situation before I say my piece.”

Frances felt her pounding heart slow even further and she nodded. “Thank you, Master. So… I don’t remember what happened next. Martin said that apparently lightning rained from the sky to strike the goblins down. When I woke up, Elizabeth was knocked out. She knocked Ivy’s Sting out of my hands to snap me out of my trance only… she got shocked doing so. The healers said she’ll be fine, but…” Frances clenched her fists. “I don’t think she, or Martin, will want to be my friends anymore.”

Frances watched her mentor’s calm, emotionless expression.

It suddenly broke into a look of concern and relief.

“Frances, first of all, I’m really glad you and your friends are safe and survived the ambush. Were you wounded?” Edana asked.

“They stabbed my leg, but Bernard healed it quite well,” Frances replied.

“Oh good. Second of all—” Edana leaned forward so she was closer to her mirror “—while your loss of control worries me slightly, I want to remind you that this is the first and only time you’ve ever lost control of your magic. That in itself is impressive.”

Her mentor’s words caught Frances by surprise and the young girl found herself nodding to the truth her mentor spoke.

“Also, I think it was quite natural that you lost control when you were put into that situation. You thought they were dead, right?” Edana asked, her voice soothing.

“Yes… but I should have realized that Elizabeth would have vanished if the goblins actually killed her,” Frances said with a sigh.

“Martin was down, though. You had ample reason to panic at that sight,” Edana pointed out.

Frances blinked, and once again, found herself nodding in agreement, and coming to a familiar conclusion.

“Master Edana, are you saying that I could have done better, but it’s not really my fault that I lost control?” Frances asked, in a slightly weary tone.

Edana nodded, smiling slightly. “Yes.”

Frances gritted her teeth, a muffled groan escaping between her lips. “I… Master, I still feel it’s my fault! I trust you. I really do. And you make so much sense, but I still feel like I should have done more! That I failed.”

Edana shook her head. “Yes, you could have done better, but that doesn’t mean you failed, Frances.”

“Martin could have died! Elizabeth could have been hurt and I could have been sent home!” Frances shivered at the thought of seeing her parents. It had been more than a year, almost two since she’d seen them, but the thought of returning to the modern world… was still terrifying.

“Frances, take a deep breath,” said Edana, not even flinching at the panic in her student’s voice.

Frances did, drinking in air and breathing out. After several long exhales, she felt better, but her anger and frustration bubbled beneath her skin, like the bruises she once had. “Sorry, Master. I’m just… frustrated.”

“About what?” Edana asked without a hint of judgement in her tone.

Frances bowed her head. “Me. I’m frustrated with myself. I know I shouldn’t feel like I’m worthless. Not anymore anyway. But I still feel like this and I can’t stop feeling that way. No matter what I do, no matter how much I’ve done”

Edana nodded. “You also seem to be angry.”

“Yes, I am. I know I shouldn’t be, but my parents and my sister… they… they are why I keep blaming myself and why I still feel like a waste of space.” Frances hesitated as she remembered her parents sneering faces, and suddenly, for a brief moment, she was a little girl again. Her mother was screaming at her, smacking her face, beating her with the dreaded cane, whilst her father coddled a wide-eyed Denise.

It should have been her being hugged.

“I hate that they did this to me!” Frances screamed. Edana started, eyes wide and fixated on her student. Frances stared back, panting, her own eyes wild. “Master I… I’m sorry I shouldn’t be angry but I am and I can’t… I just…” Frances’s voice trailed off and she stood in silence, waiting for her mentor’s rebuke.

Except, Edana looked only thoughtful.

“Frances, I think it’s very natural for you to be angry at your parents, and even more natural for you to hate them for what they did to you. You shouldn’t be ashamed because you feel angry at people who hurt you.” The raven-haired woman leaned back in her chair. “And if you’re wondering if you should forgive them eventually, no. They hurt you. You owe them nothing. You don’t need to forgive them unless it makes you feel better.”

The logic in Edana’s advice just seemed to click with Frances and she found herself nodding. At the same time, she suddenly felt that a great burden was lifted from her shoulders.

“That being said, I don’t think you like being constantly angry at your family, is that right?” Edana mused, meeting Frances’s gaze with her own.

Frances shook her head, which surprised herself. She had every reason to be angry after all. Yet, now she also felt strangely tired and frustrated that she was angry at them.

“So don’t blame yourself for feeling angry, but don’t focus on them. We can talk about how to do that later. Let’s talk about your friends.” Edana grinned. “They seem like good people, right? Tell me more about them.”

“Yes. Martin’s very nice and polite. He really respects my space. Elizabeth is more talkative, a bit impulsive, but kind,” said Frances.

“So, wouldn’t there be a good chance that they will forgive you?” Edana asked.

Frances stared at the mirror, groaned, and slapped her head with her free hand. “Master, thank you. I’m sorry that I had to call you to realize something so obvious.”

“Frances, you know I encourage you to call me if you have any problems right? Don’t you feel better that you did?” Edana inquired.

Although her master was miles away, her reassurance felt like one of her hugs. Frances smiled and nodded.

“Thank you, Edana. I will talk to them. Should I bring some food maybe?”

Edana pursed her lips and looked at her student with half-lidded eyes. Frances immediately recognized her teacher’s look, as the “I’d love to tell you what to do but I can’t” look.

“I’m not going to tell you what I think is going to happen, Frances. However, I think it’s most important that you be yourself. If they are your friends, then they will accept who you are, your things to improve on, and your likeable qualities as well,” said Edana.

Frances sighed, but it was with a smile. She did wish Edana could just tell her what she knew, but she’d long learnt that if her teacher was keeping something from her, it was usually for a good reason. Besides, Edana always let her know that she was keeping something from her, and gave her as much guidance as she could.

“Thank you.” Slightly more hesitant, Frances whispered, “I love you, Edana.”

“You’re always welcome, Frances, and I love you too.” Edana crossed her arms and grinned. “Now, tell me more about your friends.”

Blushing slightly, Frances allowed herself to pour her observations and heart out to the open mirror, allowing herself to revel in her mentor’s keen attention and words of advice. She sometimes thought it was weird that she, a fifteen-year-old now, felt so happy at the idea that her mentor loved her. Still, Frances just kinda knew that if Edana was supporting her, she’d be able to do anything, and she’d always love her mentor for that.