On day 20 PT, that’s Post Transition for the slow ones in back, the hedge witch in the corner reminds me to work on my Audiomancy as well. Fortunately, magic comes with a tutorial, and my teacher, Sergeant Pepper, says the first thing I’m supposed to work on is detecting the sound waves in the air.

Takes me no time at all to start drumming, and I start working on finding the sound waves. It’s easier than I thought. Turns out echolocation gives me a big advantage there, and my ginormous egantic radar ‘hawk provides massive help there as well. In my first 2 hour session, I’m close. I don't have the luxury to just play drums if I want to survive. So after a round of echolocation where I don’t have the brainpower to look for sound waves, I do a couple hours of escrima all over the Kung Fu stickman I've named Ai Stick Eu. Then, after only a few minutes in my second magic practice session, I find the sound waves. It takes audiomancy to power the thing, but I can “see” sound.

Lesson two from Sarge is about moving sound waves. Making sound barriers that prevent the sound from traveling through. Sarge is theorycrafting but I’m not paying much attention. This is just an acoustics review. We did this in my masters program. The math was harder back then.

Six hours of magic drumming with Pep, a couple hours of echolocation, and six more hours of Escrima practice under that sadistic Phuc, and I’m drained. Not just thaumically out of energy, but mentally beat like a redheaded stepchild. I remember that the Christmas Tree told me that magic eats thaums like hyenas eat ass. And donkeys are one of their favorite foods.

Anyhow, I need like 4 hours of drumming to be back to alive and alert before the monkeys return. I can finally echo with my eyes open. It’s only a little screwy. In front of me, my much more practiced eyes dominate my echolocation much like my left eye dominates my right. But behind me, it’s like magic. The ghost realm of fuzzy shapes that are within a couple inches of the right position are there. I can move around and tell how close I am to the pole behind me without looking. Twirl like a schoolgirl, stagger around, and then turn on echolocation, and I can “see” behind me.

Coolest trick was when I started throwing sticks up in the air, looking down, and I could tell which ones were gonna land on me. I can’t quite catch them as they come down, but I can dodge. And the enhanced agility makes it so I am a lot closer to catching them than when they kicked me off the JV hoops team for fumbling too many passes.

Prepping for the little shits, I drop all my sticks in my pockets. A dozen drumsticks, 10 escrima sticks, a few mallets, and even my triangle and cowbell are there. I consider disassembling a couple cymbal stands, to make long sharpish sticks. But eventually I decide against it. Instead I spend another 2 thaums getting a selection of sports equipment. There’s a hockey stick, a lacrosse stick, and a pool cue. There’s a cricket bat, a baseball bat, 2 golf clubs and two racquets for different games. There’s even a couple mallets for croquet and polo, and a curling broom.

Thought about getting some martial arts staff, or a sword or shield, but I don’t know how to use ‘em, and I’d just as soon not stab my own kidney out.

I asked Alec Sander the Grape whether I can just nail them with balls from a distance, and he said something about momentum and kinetic energy not working the same way on this side of the dimensional divide. You have to throw harder, not just faster, whatever that means. Might work as a distraction or annoyance though. Getting hit by a ball going 50 would suck, and even if I’d rather it felt like a speed of 150, it still gets there that fast, so there’s not a lot of time to dodge.

My magic isn’t good enough to do anything with yet. I wish it was, but I’m barely able to find the sound waves, much less do anything tricky. Hope my week of practicing escrima and echolocation keeps me alive.