I pushed Reina against the wall— Taking both of her hands in my much larger one and pinning them above her head. I kissed her passionately, putting all of my bottled-up feelings into it as our mouths overlapped. This was both to show her how I felt, and to remind myself that she was real —and here, in front of me.

I released her hands, and she slowly lowered them to my shoulders— trailing her fingers through my hair, before stopping at the back of my neck and gripping the color of my tunic. I placed my hands on the small of her back and pulled her against me, her body was… much more delicate than I remembered. No, I'm the one that changed. I’m no longer the man I once was.

Time became meaningless as we stood there, in the room she'd been given by the King and Queen of Asgard, making out like horny teenagers.

I paused in my efforts and allowed Reina to catch her breath.

“This- isn't- fair,” She panted. “Why am I the only one gasping for air?” Reina asked, directing the full force of her pouting face at me.

“One of the perks of my new body, don't worry about it too much.” I replied, smiling down at her. I used my thumb to wipe a bead of sweat off of her cheek, then I leaned down and kissed her again- much softer this time. Before I was trying to show the depth of my feelings, and what I'd been trying desperately to ignore since I'd lost her. That soul crushing loneliness only someone whose lost the most important thing in their lives could understand.

But now— I was just a man kissing his wife, and I loved her just as much now as I ever had before.

A series of rapid-fire knocks on our door pulled us out of our own little world and back into reality.

“I don't know who that is, and I don't care. But the world better be ending or so help me God, I’m gonna start ringing necks.” I growled under my breath. Every time Reina and I tried to be alone, we were interrupted by something or someone needing Reina’s immediate attention.

It was a bit of a pain in the ass being married to a hero, but oh so worth it in the end.

I stalked over to the door and pulled it open. I frowned at the teenage servant girl waiting with a cart of covered dishes. I motioned for her to step aside as I ducked under the door frame and looked up and down the hallway to see who was watching.

“Did you order food?” I asked Reina.

“No? Did you?”

“If I did, I wouldn't have asked.” I snarked. I felt a smack across my rear end, and I raised an eyebrow at the servant girl whose face had turned beet red. “We didn't order food; you should take this and go before you hear something that’ll ruin your ears.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind~” The girl who couldn't be any older than Ayla said in a sultry voice.

“I do.” Reina said, stepping around my body to face the girl. With a smile on her face, Reina reached out and grab the door handle— She slammed the door on the girls face then turned to me. “Being sarcastic, flirting with servant girls, what am I going to do with you?” She said with an exasperated sigh.

I snaked my arm around her waist, then picked her up and pulled her against my body. “The question, my dear. Isn't what you're going to do with me, it's what I'm going to do to you.” She squeaked in surprise as I tossed her across the room to land on the bed, before she could move, I was on top of her again and I had plans to make her do much more than squeak.

Torga was resting beside the sleeping form of Reina inside their small, two-person tent. The book of magic he'd borrowed from Donna had been long forgotten as he listened to the rhythmic sound of her breathing. Any thought that could interrupt this moment was quickly cast aside as he watched her sleep...

Torga was resting beside the sleeping form of Reina inside their small, two-person tent. The book of magic he'd borrowed from Donna had been long forgotten as he listened to the rhythmic sound of her breathing. Any thought that could interrupt this moment was quickly cast aside as he watched her sleep...

"Oh, most powerful god of hunger, I beseech you! Appear before your most humble servant in his time of need!" An irritating voice yelled from the recesses of my mind.

I frowned at the interruption and shook my head. A few seconds later, the voice repeated itself again— and again— and a fourth time. By the six or seventh time, I’d given up trying to ignore it and had left the room so my grumblings wouldn't disturb Reina.

"Oh, most powerful god of hunger, I beseech you! Appear before your most humble servant in his time of need!" The voice yelled again. Only this time, I answered.

"Where are you?" I whispered.

The voice in my mind went quiet for several seconds. "My lord?" The voice replied in a much quieter tone.

"Where. are you?"

I’m not sure how, but I could somehow feel the owner of the voice's panic as some kind of link connected us. I could see him now; An overweight old priest inside what appeared to be a dilapidated church. He was short, balding, and had incredibly pale skin.

I wondered where he was, and my ‘vision’ responded by blurring momentarily. When my vision cleared, I was looking at a small church sat on the boundary between an ocean and a mammoth mountain range. At one time, it must have been absolutely beautiful: The walls were made of white marble and some kind of dark purple stone that Torga couldn't identify, the floor was the color of fresh snow, and mesmerizing stained-glass windows lined the upper walls... But it was a mere shadow of its former self. Years of disrepair and abandonment had taken its toll on the once beautiful building.

The most surprising thing about my vision? I intuitively knew where the church was, it was like someone had programed a set of coordinates into my brain.

"Y—You're not my lord."

"No, I'm most definitely not." I replied, returning my attention to the priest.

"S—Stay away! Don't come here!"

"It's too late for that. Because I've found you." I teleported before I lost whatever hold I had on our link.

“You know, my wife would absolutely love it here.” I said offhandedly. It truly was a shame that my first time visiting this holy place was being marred by the pathetic man currently groveling at my feet.

Now that I’d gotten a better look at him, I was absolutely certain that the man was a priest, or he was at one time. He may have worn the brown priest's garb, but he was a far cry from the priests I’d met in either life: His hairless head glistened in sweat, is three chins quivered in fear as he begged for his life, and the stench of piss surrounded him.

Even if he hadn't already annoyed the hell out of me, he wouldn't have made the best first impression.

"Forgive me, my Lord, for I have sinned and called this demon into your most holy of places!" The man cried for the fifth time.

I stared down at the pitiful man. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that he'd somehow hijacked the prayers meant for another god of hunger. But he'd have to think on the how and why after he made the annoying man stop talking.

"Forgive me, my Lord, for I have—"

"If you finish that sentence. I'm going to rip your tongue out and make you taste your own ass."

The priest's mouth snapped shut and he backpedaled away. His fat rolls heaved as his lungs desperately tried to pull in enough oxygen to keep him from passing out, but the fear he was feeling would've made that a difficult task for someone half his size. So, he fainted.

That’s just sad.

Torga stepped off the Altar he'd appeared on and began looking around in earnest: The Altar was on a raised dais near the rear wall. It held a statue that depicted a tall, thin man in white robes standing tall above a mob of sickly-looking humans. Held just out of the humans reach, he held a basket of fruits and vegetables in his left hand.

A wicked grin could be seen on the face of the statue as it watched the humans reach for the food.

And people call me cruel. I turned away from the Altar. Just then, an idea formed in my mind. Actually, this whole situation just might work in my favor.

I walked over to the downed priest, intending to slap him awake— then I caught sight of my reflection in a broken mirror on the wall and realized why the priest assumed I was a demon.

A pair of glowing orange eyes met mine through the mirror and I grimaced.

Maybe I should fix that before I wake him up? It’d probably be easier for him to answer my questions if he wasn’t so scared, he fainted again… Less annoying that way too.

I created an image in my mind, then overlapped it with my reflection in the mirror.

The green lights my body was made of broke apart, twisted, then contorted into a much smaller form: That of a ten-year-old boy in clothes much too large for him. I didn’t bother changing my eye color or trying to change the appearance of my clothes; the brown tunic and black pants I’d borrowed from Thor would serve me fine.

I ran tiny hands through my wavy brown hair to straighten it, then nodded to myself.

"Testing— 1, 2." I shook my head at my voice and tried again. "Testing?" The high-pitched sound of a child’s voice surprised me so much, I accidentally laughed out loud. This is definitely going onto the 'show Sarah later' list.

I walked over to the downed priest in my new, and hopefully less threatening, form and lightly slapped his face.

"Sir? Are you okay, sir?"

The priest's eyes opened, and his entire body jerked away.

"No! Stay away from me foul demon!" He screamed hysterically.

I pretended to be surprised and jumped away from the screaming priest. "Demon!? Where!?"

The priest seemed confused, then hurriedly looked around the room. "The demon! Where did the demon go!?"

"I don't know! I never saw it!"

The priest frantically scanned the ceiling, walls, and even the altar before he slowly climbed to his feet and hobbled towards the altar. "I must alert the most holy, at once!"

"Yeah, you do that."

The priest dropped to his knees and urgently began chanting the same prayer that drew Torga's attention.

While the priest was chanting, Torga walked over to one of the pews and laid down with his feet propped on the armrest. Not the brightest bulb in the room, is he?

Not long after the priest began chanting, a glowing yellow portal appeared at the base of the Altar and a startlingly tall and thin man stepped through. The man was between eight or nine feet tall, with long black hair that hung down to his lower back, emotionless white eyes that lacked any sort of pupil, and sallow skin. He wore a snow-white robe that revealed his frail-looking arms and pooled on the floor behind him.

Finally. I sighed. I stood up from the pew and made my way over to them.

"Why have you called me here, Robart?"

"My lord, I—"

"Was just leaving." I grabbed the priest by the neck of his robe and hurled him backward.

The priest slammed into the rotting double doors with a sickening *Crunch* and slid through the mud on the ground outside the church.

The god barely glanced towards the priest before his emotionless eyes zeroed in on Torga's child-like form.

"Who are you?" He asked in a completely emotionless voice.

"Oh, you know, just a lost god looking for home."

"Do not joke with me, godling. Do you know who I am?"

I glanced over my shoulder at the unmoving priest, then back to the god.

"Obviously not the god of weight-watchers."

A flicker of emotion entered the god's eyes before he could stop it. "I, am Jorthas: Elder God of Hunger and Pain!"

"Neat."

Jorthas took a deep, calming breath and glared over his hooked nose at me.

"Normally, I would cause you to feel the pain of a thousand deaths for annoying me." He took another breath, "But I am a merciful God. I will forgive you this once if you tell me who your patron is, Godling."

"Well, gee-willakers, mister! That sure is awfully nice of ya!" I cheered. I shot the god a wide smile. "But wholly unnecessary." I sighed in my normal voice.

My small fist lashed out and slammed into the god's left kneecap. Jorthas' knee broke like a dried twig and he collapsed to the floor with a scream.

I quickly covered the god's mouth with my hand, pinned his body to the ground via an intense burst of gravity, and glared daggers into his eyes. "We're going to have a little chat, and this is how it's going to work: I ask a question, you answer me in ten seconds or less, or I break another bone. Any attempts to leave this place without my express permission will result in your immediate death. Blink if you understand."

Jorthas narrowed his eyes and I felt a slight pinprick of pain on inside my head. So, I snapped his fibula with a well-placed stomp.

The god winced in pain, but he still refused to blink.

"Ah, almost forgot. You're a god of pain, so you're probably used to this, right?"

The god blinked.

"I thought so. Here's what I'm going to do. First, I'm going cut off your eyelids so you can't give in to me. Next, I'm going to break every bone in your body, while you resolutely stare at me in horror. Then, I'm going to cut off your nose, your lips, your ears, your fingers, and finally your toes. I somehow doubt that'll make you give in. So, then I'll start pulling out your veins—"

The god started to rapidly blink.

"I know, I know, you're a god of pain, so that paltry amount is still nothing to you, but I'm just getting to the good part. After pulling out your veins. I'll do my damnedest to shove Robart so far up your ass, you'll never get him out. Then, I'll—"

Jorthas screamed into my hand.

"You know what? You're right, talk is cheap. Let's just begin, shall we?"

Jorthas jerked his head to one side, freeing his mouth from my palm, and screamed, "Fine! We'll talk—We'll talk!"

"Great!" I cheerfully said. “Now, have you ever heard of a place called Earth?”

Reina awoke to the smell of a bacon and egg-white omelet being waved above her nose.

"Morning, Beautiful. Hungry?"

"Course." She replied through a yawn.

She sat up bed and gratefully took the proffered bowl from Torga's hand and nodded at the cup of juice he sat down next to her. She breathed in the smell and sighed in contentment.

"Thanks."

"Mmm-hmm." He sat on the foot of the bed and watched her eat for a while.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, during which Reina finished off her omelet and juice, Torga asked: "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine. It got a little cold during the night, but I managed."

"Winter's coming.” He replied around a yawn.

“Sleepy?” Reina asked.

“A bit, yeah. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Torga admitted.

“Oh? Why, what happened?”

“Had to go make a noise complaint.” Torga replied, a slight smirk on his face.

He’s such a weird man. Reina sighed internally.