《Gamer's Guide to Waking up as a Dinosaur》21: Baths are for Chumps, I'm a Chump.
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Rexcelsis, Chaotic Monarch [Lvl ???]
Uh…
The roar died in my throat as I sat stunned by the scene in front of me. Six headless corpses were piled lazily away from the titan standing before me. A small lake I hadn’t noticed before--since Rex had blocked my vision with his massive body--stretched out behind him, and beyond that were scorched plains. It was almost a desert oasis, but I could see trees that sparsely populated the open area.
You’re too low-level for this area… Come back later…
That’s what it felt like as I watched massive dinosaurs graze on the plains. Black shapes like pterodactyls flew across the open air, occasionally swooping down and carrying a smaller dinosaur away with them.
Oh yeah, that’s hardcore mode right there.
I turned back to the t-rex that remained watching me with gleaming eyes. Directly in front of the beast, the Deotrexaptors’ missing heads were lined up nicely, severed from their bodies, and staring at the sky with empty eyes.
There were no xaptors left for me to fight.
Only Rex and I remained. But would he kill me, too?
I gazed at the titan that sat, unperturbed by my roar, looking down at me with a strange expression upon his face.
Sure, you're strong, but no match for my max-level shiny black Charizard with 252 special attack, 252 speed, 4 defense, max-IV's, and a timid nature! Especially since the move pool contains Solar Beam, which would be devastating in this environment.
Wait, was he… smirking?
Suddenly, the dino moved. I stumbled backward, but there was nothing I could do. In two steps, Rex was upon me. Two massive nostrils dipped down to meet my face, and I seriously considered scratching him and running.
I didn’t, because I’m not a complete idiot.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel the adrenaline rush associated with being stared down by two massive yellow eyes that might belong to a sadist, if the line of severed heads was any indication.
I was pulled forward a bit as Rexcelsis breathed in, sniffing me. I smelled good. I know that because I’m me, and me always smells good. But, if I’m honest, there was a slight chance I actually smelled disgusting. Maybe even both.
Hey, at least I didn’t have to sweat!
But I was warming up fast out here in the direct sun. The jungle seemed like the arctic in comparison. Both were comfortable, though, in their own ways. This heat reminded me of what it’s like when you get into your hot car on a summer day, and the temperature is far higher than it is outside because of the oven your vehicle is, but you somehow don’t find it uncomfortable and just get sleepy instead. It was like that, but I was way too alert to be sleepy.
The giant dinosaur pulled away, squinting.
Yep. I guess that means worm juice probably doesn’t bake well.
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Suddenly, a force picked me up off my feet, sending me rolling across the dirt. The ground where I landed was soaked.
Actually, as I stood up, I realized I was soaked. I turned, dripping, toward the dino that had done a 180, his tail now wet and pointed toward me.
…
This guy just splashed me.
And he was raising his tail to do it again. I shouted hastily in my little dinosaur voice, my arms held out toward him.
“Graa! Raaagaaa!”
It wasn’t really all that helpful, to be honest.
But Rexcelsis seemed to understand me. He looked at his tail, then at the water. Then at me. And his tail raised to swing down again once more.
I flinched, covering my face with my hands.
Have you ever been shot by a hose while somebody covers the tip with their thumb for that extra pressure to make the blast more powerful? Yeah?
Well picture that, but times a hundred.
No--time’s a million.
I was rightfully spooked.
Thunderous rumbling emanated from before me, and I slowly opened my eyes to look. Rexcelsis had dropped his tail back to the ground, and bursts of his deep voice were exiting his massive mouth in spurts.
Are you… laughing?
I watched for a moment, frowning.
He was. He was definitely laughing.
So, the Chaotic Monarch was a prankster…
I was distracted from the thought process as a drop of water ran down my nose, falling toward my lips, and finding its way into my mouth. It dripped onto my tongue and I realized how thirsty I was.
The realization hit me like a truck. I hadn’t drunk anything since the river! I’d eaten worm meat, and run for my life. Aside from the many tears I’d cried, I hadn’t even touched a fluid in… had it really been a whole day?
All I knew was that if I’d been sitting at my computer desk at home, I would’ve been drinking a far healthier amount of water. Then again, if I was sitting at my computer desk at home, I probably wouldn’t have hiked as much as I had… so, while the safer lifestyle was clear, I didn’t know yet which was healthier.
I immediately plodded over to the watering hole, plunging my head beneath the surface and drinking deeply. But I’d learned to be watchful ever since the river, so my eyes scanned the depths as I slaked my thirst. The cool water wrapped itself around my head enticingly.
I wanted to go further in. Maybe just swim a little bit.
It was almost as though the pond was calling to me, begging me to be a friend and use it for what it longed for: enjoyment. It felt so… good. I just wanted to let go, and fall in.
Gulp. Sip. Gulp.
I probably needed to breathe, but I didn’t feel anything.
Instead, I heard a voice from the darkness.
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“Hello there, little baby!”
It was a woman’s voice. Soothing, and calling to me.
Hello?
“Wouldn’t you like to come for a swim?”
I took a step forward. Then another.
You are [Entranced]. You are attracted to the affector.
Pfft. The magic boxes couldn’t stop me. What did they know? This voice was familiar. I couldn’t place it, but it rang with kindness. Like an old friend from high school. Or maybe even my sister, if I had one.
Could she be my long-lost sister? I think I love her like one.
I continued moving forward, my feet getting wet now, eyes closing so I could picture her. Of the people I shared an unbreakable bond with, she had to be the most important.
But try as I might, I couldn’t remember this woman’s name. She didn’t sound like any of the friends I could think of, but I was certain I knew her!
“Come on, baby, hop in the water and swim with me!” her voice rang clear through the water, its tone carrying a smile like Aaron’s when I talked to him over voice chat.
I opened my eyes happily, looking into the deep, and jumped into the water.
The woman there was beautiful. She was the prettiest person I’d ever seen. It was an inhuman perfection, and yet, somehow, she reminded me of my mother. Her blue eyes sparkled as she smiled wide at me, joy evident in her gaze. Silver locks of hair floated around her, shining in the light piercing the water.
“How did you get here, baby? Did your mommy leave you alone?” She was talking to me with the voice people use for babies, but it didn’t bother me. I found it endearing. Her dress, green like seaweed (and perhaps what it was actually made of), danced in the water as she beckoned me. She laughed, turning to swim only a little deeper.
I struggled to keep up.
“Come on, baby! You’re so adorable! Swim to me!”
I kicked harder, starting to swim down.
But something held me back.
I recognized the feeling of my dry tail touching the air. Something was holding it, stopping me from swimming to my mother. Or… my friend.
I kicked, flailed, wiggled, and pulled, but no matter what I did, my tail was stuck!
“Awww, poor baby!” the woman said sadly. “Are you stuck on something? You can do it!”
The fact that she believed in me crushed my heart. I wanted to prove her right. I could do it! She was my friend! I never wanted to disappoint my friends!
I kicked harder, pushing against the wall of rock that lined the drop into the deep. Still, no matter what I did, or how I struggled, I couldn’t break free. I would’ve worried that I was going to tear off my tail, but it was more important that I get to her. A puzzled look crossed the woman’s face.
It was cute.
“I’ll get you free! Don’t worry, baby!”
My eyes followed her concerned face as she popped above the water with a frown, lips pursed, and my gaze widened. I needed to see her.
I swam up to follow her, this time fighting the awkward angle I was at, unable to twist sideways because of my trapped tail. My hands were having issues tugging me up now, as they became tangled in long strands of seaweed.
A sudden force pulled me backward, tearing out the weeds and leaving me sitting, jumbled on the ground. As I shook off the water, I heard the woman gasp.
I looked at her, following her horrified gaze, as she looked at something behind me. Glancing there, I saw the sadistic Rexcelsis standing with a predatory grin, his foot clamped down on my tail.
“No!” the woman shouted, diving back under the water. A huge scaly tail flopped out into the air and slapped against the pond’s surface.
I blinked. First in surprise that she had such a pretty tail, and then in realization as I came to understand that she wasn’t a human.
Nor was she a dinosaur.
She was some kind of a mix!
You are no longer [Entranced].
Having snapped out of it, I observed the woman just before she slipped under the water.
Siren of the Watering Hole [Lvl ???]
Behind me, the Chaotic Monarch’s eyes glowed red, and I felt the air rapidly warming. Then, two blasts of pure hot energy shot forth from his horns, piercing the place where the woman had been.
Steam erupted from the air like a bomb had gone off underwater, and I closed my eyes as the force of the explosion sent me hurtling back into the trunklike leg of the titan behind me.
When I looked back at the water’s surface, a steaming body floated on it.
What the hell was that?!
Siren of the Watering Hole [Corpse]
Once a fiend capable of entrancing melodies that would enrapture many a victim, this beast changed tactics to exclusively prey upon the delicious young of various dinosaurs as they drank from the watering hole.
I glanced back at Rexcelsis, who seemed disgusted by the corpse. He was fishing it out of the water with the tip of his massive tail. As he removed the body, the tail fully emerged from the water, like a serpent being dragged from its den.
It was actually a pretty disgusting sight, covered in some sort of slime, and tipped with fins. But Rex scooped up the corpse and tossed it near the pile of xaptors, before cleanly severing her head from her body with one wickedly sharp talon.
Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to get on this guy’s good side…
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