Ghost was scouting in the east when she struck gold, figuratively, not literally.

‘Found shiny rock.’ She sent to me over our party chat.

‘Good. What shiny?’ I asked only out of curiosity, as the only reason I wanted [Mining I] was to expand our cave.

‘Says [Silica Deposit].’ She replied. Her [Scout] role allowed her to identify [Points of Interest] when she came across them, though the kingdom map didn’t update until she returned the information to me.

‘You mean silver?’

‘No, silica.’

‘What look like?’

‘Like grey rock.’

‘That just rock.’

‘Is shiny too.’

‘That’s silver!’

It took a fair bit of back and forth before I decided Ghost was messing with me. My ability to read her, or anyone else, was getting worse the longer my charisma remained below the second threshold. My last charisma potion ran out in the middle of the dream-quest, leaving me oblivious at the worst possible time. It was the only conceivable explanation for how Dreadbeard had deceived me. The reduced empathy probably hadn’t helped the argument between Cordelia and me either. Two days had passed, and Cordelia was stubbornly hiding in her flask. I wanted her advice on where to build our village, dammit!

A silver mine might have been worth moving out of our cave for; our clan had nothing close to resembling an economy, but our new god seemed to be keen on gold and silver. Bob could even mint coins once we researched [Coinage], which made them officially recognised by the system. The bronze age technology was barely visible on the technology bush and needed both [Barter] and [Smelting] before we could start on it.

‘Hans, please stop [Writing], please [Mining I] start, please thank you.’ I asked as politely as I could manage, to not antagonize him further. He wouldn’t admit it, but Hans was still annoyed at me for setting the cave on fire.

‘Can’t.’ Hans tersely replied.

‘Why not?’ I asked.

‘Need find mineral deposit.’ He said, clearly reading from the technology bush.

‘Ghost found already?’ I questioned.

‘Not claimed.’ Ghost joined the conversation.

‘What that mean?’ I asked.

‘In box, say not claimed.’ Ghost explained.

‘Need mineral deposit.’ Hans repeated, sighed and shook his head as if I was completely braindead.

In my defence, it was Ghost's [Ring of Servitude] that lit the fire. I had been trying to replicate the fruit knife shortcut, but with [Fire]. Hans had activated the cleaning spirit inside to tidy up the mess we made fetching wood for the fire. I then asked it to help us light the fire, because I got bored of watching Pecs smashing sticks together, to no avail.

The resulting bonfire had quickly filled the cave with smoke, and Hans got a system event that let him choose between learning from the fire or putting it out. Hans reluctantly chose the former and came away with burnt fingers from poking the fire. Ashes and burning sticks scattered throughout the cave, and several zombies got badly burnt. My left ear still itched, despite Bob reassuring me it was untouched by the fire.

‘Ok, how claim?’ I asked, focusing on the present and ignoring Hans’ surly glare from the other side of the cave, where he was scribbling on the walls. He was one day into inventing a zombie alphabet, something I was hoping Cordelia would see as a peace offering when she returned.

‘Box say, go in cave.’ Ghost replied, then shared the box with me over the party system.

Event: You have come across an unclaimed mineral deposit in a cave, do you wish to claim it?

Yes

Go into the cave to claim the deposit.

No

Leave the deposit unclaimed.

‘Go in cave, why wait me?’ I asked. Then I remembered my manners. ‘Please, thank you.’ I added. There was a pause whilst Ghost presumably entered the cave.

‘Is done.’ She sent me with a tinge of amusement over our party link. I turned to Hans to ask him to switch to research [Mining I], but before I did Ghost spoke again. ‘I dead.’ She followed up.

‘We all dead.’ I replied, rolling my eyes.

‘Dead dead.’ She clarified.

‘Dead dead?!’ I asked, before I felt a sharp tug of pain from our party link. As I focused on it, I could feel that Ghost had just lost almost a fifth of her health.

Fear gripped me, and it paralysed me with indecision. Then I felt another big chunk of Ghost’s health fall off her, like a rotted toe falling off a foot. ‘What happen?’ I hated being in the dark, even if I did have night-sight.

‘[Cave Troll] spawn. Smell strong. She replied. That was really bad. Ghost was our strongest zombie. If she was fighting a cave troll that was the same level as her, she truly was dead dead. Most details of the system went over my head, but I understood that different races varied in power, even if their levels and attributes were the same. Even if I was completely braindead, I could have guessed that a [Cave Troll] ranked higher than a zombie.

‘Run Ghost!’

‘Box says no.’ She replied, her words punctuated with another health drop.

My mind scrambled to think of a solution. I might be stupid, but I wasn’t braindead and I still had basic animal instincts of survival from crossing the first wisdom threshold. Fight, flight or hide. Ghost couldn’t win in a fight, and the Gompta system wouldn’t let her run away. ‘Ghost, hide!’ I sent.

‘Why?’ Ghost asked. Of all the times for her to try to annoy me…

‘Just do it!’ I demanded. For a second I thought that Ghost was going to try to argue, but she went quiet instead, and I didn’t feel any more tugs through our party link.

The silence dragged out, and if I didn’t still feel her in the party I would have worried that the troll got her. ‘Ghost, ok?’ I asked.

‘Can’t talk, hiding.’ She replied.

‘… Troll can’t hear party chat.’ I rolled my eyes.

‘… Why?’ She asked. Obviously, the surprise troll attack hadn’t affected her aggravating personality.

‘It not in party.’ I explained. ‘Safe?’

‘Troll not see me.’

‘How?’

‘It not look up.’ She said.

With Ghost temporarily safe, dangling from the ceiling using her [Bone Spurs], I needed to bring the reinforcements. The troll might look up at any point, and her [Shadow in the Night] would only shroud her in darkness until daybreak, which was three hours away. It was basically free invisibility, but useless during the day.

My first stop was the newly constructed totem Pecs was standing at. It had taken him all of yesterday to consecrate the pile of stones with skull and crossbones, covering half the cave in misshapen blobs in the process. Using charcoal from the cave fire had really sped things up from just trying to scratch the design into the stone. The resulting totem had its own little box that appeared in the air when I focused on it, with a few options listed.

Primitive Totem: F Quality

Upkeep: 1 Wealth / Day

Stored Faith: 10 / 10

Actions:

Worship (Full 10 / 10):

Convert Soul into Faith (0.9 per hour).

Perform Rites (Shaman/Cultists only):

Harvest Faith stored within the shrine (50% efficiency).

Deliver Blessing (Shaman/Cultists only):

Use 10 stored Faith to deliver the [Rogueish Charm] blessing.

Upgrades:

Saltwater Basin

Adds 1 Cultist Slot (Black Flag)

We had so many idle zombies lying around that I took the spare ones not training with Abs to become [Warriors] and packed them together around the totem. They didn’t seem to generate Faith very quickly, but at least they were too dumb to object to the monotony of grunting prayers all day and all night long.

Pecs was working on a second totem next to the first. Each totem could only bestow one type of blessing, so we needed a few to cover our needs. This second shrine would also let us generate more faith by putting idle zombies to work. Pecs had a mission to harvest five-hundred faith, with the reward being that our spirit guide, Bishop-Captain Dreadbeard would show up to help us create the first [Doctrine] of our faith. I didn’t want any more surprises from the lying scoundrel, but I wanted a chance to give him a piece of my mind.

‘Give charisma blessing Pecs. Please, thank you.’ I said, and the simple-minded [Shaman] turned to face me. I saw his eyes glaze over as he tried to interact with the shrine, but soon enough, I had been blessed.

Roguish Charm: +1 Charisma, the higher your infamy the more attractive you are.

I had been saving the faith, for Pecs’ mission, but this was an emergency, and I needed my wits about me. I felt the now-familiar return of my charisma above the threshold. My social intelligence exploded, and my overall brainpower crept up as charisma compensated for my other more lacklustre attributes. ‘Ok Pecs, now we get Abs.’ I said.

My [Warchief] was halfway through training her little troop of zombies into [Warriors] for her warband. A warrior was the most basic form of the [Soldier] profession, which would nicely supplement their [Zombie] capabilities. From quizzing system boxes I gathered that job ranks were separate from and less impactful than class levels, but still useful. Once the mission was complete, they would become rookie [Warriors]. They were all lined up outside the cave, lying like planks and pushing their torsos up with their arms. They could finish their plank ups later because I needed my [Warchief].

I left Hans behind in the cave, as he was only level six and wasn’t built for combat. I also left the wannabe warriors behind, because if they died, Abs would have to start her mission again from scratch. What we needed, was Bob and her bombers.

With the [Rings of Intelligence] I lent her, Bob was just as smart as Hans, but far less patient. I had noticed that she and her bombers all had somewhat short fuses and tended to be somewhat impulsive. She had taken half the bomb squad to the goblin village, where she was hoping to trade one of their tents for Hans to study for [Tribal Huts]. She took some burnt twigs, a brain shaped rock, and a few potions from our chest. Like me, she had just wanted to kill the goblins and take their stuff. Hopefully, Cordelia would see reason soon.

‘Bob, need you. Ghost in trouble.’ I sent.

‘Was listening. Coming back you.’ She sent back.

‘Meet at [Silica Deposit], use the minimap.’ I sent.

‘What mean?’ She asked.

‘Open up minimap, look where Ghost, go that way.’ I explained.

It didn’t take Bob too long to get a hang of using the minimap to navigate, though she found it hard to use without tripping over things. I found it much easier, because Pecs was carrying me so I didn’t have to watch my feet. Leaving the cave was dangerous, but I couldn’t abandon Ghost to die.

My royal guard got a good head start, so we beat Bob’s bomb squad to the [Silica Deposit], but only by ten minutes or so. The dark of night was lessening, but we still had a good hour before the sun crested the horizon. The cave wasn’t hard to spot, particularly with all the shiny rocks leading towards it. It took us two hours to arrive, which gave me plenty of time to think of a plan. Despite this, I hadn’t really come up with anything more complicated than a full-frontal assault.

Whilst the hulks had to squeeze through the entrance of our current home, this cave was broad enough to readily accommodate them, or a cave troll, I supposed. Despite the large opening, I couldn’t see too deep into the cave, even with my nightsight; the passage bent to the left, and blocked my view.

‘Ghost, we here. Where you?’ I asked

‘Ceiling.’ She replied.

‘You deep in cave then? I looking from outside, not see you.’

‘Yes.’

‘Ok, we wait Bob, then kill troll.’

Abs snuck into the cave with all the subtlety that one might expect from a seven-foot-tall zombie warchief, which is to say, none at all. I heard something metal scraping the rock as Abs disappeared from view, followed by a loud smack of the two brutes colliding. Pecs followed closely behind my eager warchief, and he too disappeared from view.

Through my party link, I could feel Abs taking on heavy damage, and hoped she was giving as good as she got. At least she could weather the blows better than Ghost. I was commanding from the rear, with Bob holding me and our bombers ready to deploy. Unable to see the fight unfolding, I resorted to checking my minimap and ground my teeth in frustration when I saw what was happening.

After the cave bent to the left it branched into three separate passages and Ghost had hidden in the narrowest of the three. This forced my hulks to stand one behind the other and allowed the troll could focus all its attention on Abs. On my advice, Ghost hadn’t joined the fight, as she was still low on health from earlier.

‘Abs, Pecs, bring troll to entrance. Ghost, follow. Attack when I say.’ I sent, thinking that if there was room for all three of them to fight then the sheer force of numbers should carry us to victory.

‘Want fight!’ Abs sent back, losing another chunk of health moments later.

‘Need fight smart! Pecs need fight same time!’ I sent.

‘Want fight!’ Abs sent back again, and once again I felt the sharp tug as her health melted away.

‘Do it!’ I sent with every ounce of my ten charisma I could gather.

‘Grrr.’ Abs grumbled, but I did see her pulling back towards the cave entrance.

As the three brutes spilled out into the open, I got my first look at the cave troll. It wore a shiny metal sheet strapped in front of its chest, and back, as well as a simple loincloth. A fancy looking belt covered in cave moss held up the loincloth, and glowed with a faint green. It wielded a giant metal stick covered in sharp spikes in one hand.

Abs was looking worse for wear, with several huge gashes torn into her oversized belly. The troll on the other hand seemed to have only a few shallow wounds, and even those seemed to be closing up before my very eyes.

The troll’s club smacked into Abs’ side as she turned around to face it again, and Pecs stepped forwards to retaliate with a [Bite]. With things going so poorly I called on Ghost to join the fight, and moments later she joined the fray with a [Bone Spur] enhanced [Headshot]. The attack sliced a gash on the monster’s scalp and blood soaked the creature’s matted hair. Ghost [Shadow Stepped] away before the troll could hit her with the spiked club.

I watched the brawl from a respectable distance. Abs and Ghost were already both badly injured, and I urged them to be careful. Despite being outnumbered three to one, the cave troll was gradually overcoming my zombies. Only a minute later I realised this was the exact opposite of what they should be doing.

I couldn’t work out every ability the troll had, but it was clear that the longer the battle dragged on, the better it fared. It had some kind of skill, or ability that gave it crazy regeneration. The way its flesh rapidly re-knitted itself reminded me of a more potent version of Voulos’ [Flesh Graft]. It also had a clear armour advantage, not just the metal it wore, but an ability that made its skin as hard as rock. I saw Ghost come close to landing a critical hit, only for its skin the ripple and the bone-bladed fist to be deflected.

To make matters worse I came to see that neither hulk seemed to make use of their more potent abilities, and mostly just attacked like basic zombies. Pecs barely used any ability except [Bite], and Abs liked to simply pummel the troll with [Heavy Blows]. Only half-way through the fight did Pecs let out a [Roar], which made them both hit harder. The fight was going so poorly that I was going to have to resort to our secret weapon.

‘Bob, time for boom.’ I sent. My trusty bomber captain turned us to face towards her squad. She grabbed a bomber by the shoulder with her free hand and pushed it forwards. She used my tried-and-true method of zombie motivation to get it moving.

‘Go boom troll, then eat brains!’ Bob said, with a last shove towards the cave. Unfortunately, the entire bomb squad was within earshot, and the chosen bomber was not the only one to take heed.

‘Braaains.’ One groaned.

‘Brains?’ another asked.

‘Braaaaaaaaaains!’ The third one shouted in agreement, and as a group they all charged forwards.

‘Wait!’ I shouted over the party chat, but none of them could hear me.

Zed's end of chapter sheet:

King Zed ‘The Red’

05:55, 28th of Iosi, 1465 3A

Total Level: 6 (Copper)

Levels: Overseer 6

Experience: 858 / 1300

Type: Overseer Zombie (C)

Attributes: (2 Available Points)

Resources:

Dexterity: 6

Stamina: N/A

Strength: 13

Power: N/A

Vitality: 15

Health: 180/180

Wisdom: 5

Willpower: 60/60

Intelligence: 5

Mana: 60/60

Charisma: 10

Soul: 120/120

Decay: 24% (Stage 0)

Affinities: Nether (100%), Poison (50%), Fire (-25%), Holy (-100%)

Titles:

King of the Braindead: Access to Kingdom subsystem.

Red-Handed: +1 Intelligence, sets alignment as evil, hands are permanently dyed red.

Traits:

Made to Serve: +1 Intelligence, +1 Charisma, -1 Wisdom. Gives understanding of system common, and the primary language of its creator (Orcish). Is able to follow simple commands based on the creator's intelligence divided by ten (3 words long). Gives access to a portion of the knowledge contained within the host brain, better preserved brains retain more information.

Flesh Construct: Sustained by nether magic, does not need to eat, drink, sleep or breath. Does not regenerate Health. Does not use Stamina or Might, but instead uses Decay.

Overseer: +2 Charisma.

Not Braindead: +1 Wisdom, +1 Intelligence and +2 Charisma.

Skills:

Skill slot Available.

Abilities:

Unarmed Strike - Copper - Level 1 (Unavailable):

0% Decay

1 Second Cooldown

Strikes at the target with an unarmed limb for 10 bludgeoning damage.

Dash Attack - Bronze- Level 1 (Restricted):

0% Decay

5 Second Cooldown

Dashes to a target within 3 meters for 18 bludgeoning damage with a chance to push back or knock over the target.

Poisoned Bite - Bronze - Level 2 (Restricted):

0% Decay

5 Second Cooldown

+1 Vitality and Bites the target for 18 piercing damage and a further 16 poison damage over the next 30 seconds.

Enrage Zombie - Bronze - Level 4 (Restricted):

50 Soul

No Cooldown

The user lets out a rage-filled shout at a target zombie to increase its Strength, Dexterity, and Vitality by +5 for 50 seconds.

Overseer’s Aura - Bronze - Level 3 (Restricted):

1 Soul / Second

No Cooldown

+1 Strength to all zombies within 13 meters.

Corpse Explosion - Steel - Level 2 (Restricted):

200 Mana

20 Second Cooldown

Explodes the targeted corpse to deal damage equal to the health it had when alive in a 2m radius. Any corpses in the range of the explosion have a 25% chance to explode as if targeted by this ability.

Attunements (3/1):

Ring of the Jester (Cursed): +2 Charisma but curses the wearer with [Jester’s Curse].

Princess Tiara: +3 Charisma and makes the wearer more attractive to Princes.

Intellect Ring: +1 Intelligence.

Status Effects:

Jester’s Curse: The target is cursed by the jester. The curse can only be lifted by a Sphinx’s laugh.

Team-Killer (352 days remaining): -2 Charisma

Blessing of Roguish Charm (22 hours remaining): +1 Charisma, the higher your infamy the more attractive you are.