I felt excitement overwhelm my queasiness as I looked out the open window at the passing village I only vaguely remembered.

We were back in Olwick, almost a year since we had first gone to Gristol.

The main road was mostly as I remembered it. At the end of the village was the lane where father had given the steward the key, and then there was the baker's stone house near the middle of the village.

I saw smoke coming out of the bakery, but there were very few people outside, as it was getting dark now.

Father had gotten us all up early for the last day on the road and we had come all the way from the Vapelle's manor. It seemed that he was as keen to get home as mother and I, or perhaps just wary of the suspicious lord of the tower in Ibbergreen.

It had been a year since I saw the orchards and honestly I didn't remember them well, especially without the light of the sun.

Even so, when I saw the trees laden with silhouettes of summer fruit and smelled the rain from where it was drying off on the bark of the applewood in the night breeze, I felt it was familiar and the first taste of home.

I hoped that now, the bumpy road was finally coming to an end, and my parents would stop arguing, as they had on the way home. I don't know what caused it, but ever since we left Gristol, I would hear hushed debates between my parents at night.

Mother was adamant that we stay in Olwick next winter, while father thought we should return.

There might have been other things, but I didn't eavesdrop more, except to hear that father was suggesting we have a second house in the capital.

The pounding rhythm of the horses' hooves and clacking of the carriage wheels were getting to me again, but the real culprit was my still developing dreams. The two spires had become three the past few weeks, each floating on little islands in the red sky.

I closed my eyes to another wave of nausea overtaking me.

It felt like I would be there when I closed my eyes, in that strange place, but I put my hand over my eyelids and didn't see anything.

The carriage rolled to a stop and I heard the door click open.

"Aaah, finally," mother yawned on the other side of the bench.

I heard splashes of gravel outside, which must have been father, Byl and Vis dismounting from their horses. We had all come back, one year older.

"Please Simila, if you would get down first and help my son."

Well, all of us plus Simila and Cinder.

I was looking forward to seeing Ivian, it had been so long. I hoped Simila following us home didn't mean she'd be chaperoning me here too.

"Yes, my lady," Simila responded with her usual lack of inflection.

It ticked me off how she always seemed to be unenthusiastic, and quite lazy as far as maids go, only completing her duties when mother reminded her.

Back in Gristol, she brought things to me and tidied my room, but didn't seem to do it for me.

"Here we go," Simila said, looking at me, then put her hands under my arms and lifted me down the difficult carriage stairs.

I looked up as Simila put me down on the gravel pathway and saw Ivian who was waiting for us on the stairs to the manor along with Vis, the old man steward and many people in maid and footmen uniforms that I had never seen before.

I melted in tears as I saw her endearing fang-like crossbite.

"Ivian!" I cried, ah. I hadn't realised when we left, but damn, I missed this place. The clean air that smelled of the forests and clean fireplaces, Ivian, and the feeling that I was no longer in a cage.

I saw Ivian laugh as she saw my tears, but she just stood where she was, looking for permission from mother who was still getting out of the carriage behind me.

Then Ivian gasped and ran forward, to my shock and worry running right up to mother and inexplicably placing her hand on her stomach. For a maid who was following all the proper etiquettes with me, it seemed to be quite improper.

"My lady, you are expecting?" Ivian gasped.

"Yes Ivian, thank you for your joy," mother said and placed a hand on her stomach beside Ivian's. "I realised just a month before we left. I insisted we come here this year. I don't want Tilly's little brother or sister to be born in the city."

"What? You're pregnant?" I caught my mouth behind my hands in surprise.

"Tilly, you know what that means?" Mother asked. She knew about my visions and would probably ask later what I had seen.

I had not noticed at all, partly because I had no idea what being pregnant meant until just now.

It was hard not to notice that mother looked fatter than she used to, but only when I saw Ivian reach out to feel mother's stomach did I see one of those visions from Sam.

I hadn't told anyone about Sam yet, but maybe now that Sam was trickling into my mind once more, I should say something. I just didn't want her to invite another shaman. There didn't seem to be any real doctors in this place.

"Come here. Do you want to hear your little brother or sister?"

I took a few steps and then Ivian came to pick me up, smiling gleefully.

"Welcome home Tilly, you've grown so big while you were in the capital."

"Mmh!"

"You'll have to tell me about all your adventures."

"Jom, take the carriage out to the shed. Vis and Byl, can you bring the horses to the stablehand?"

Father sent some orders and then stood beside mother, holding her hand as Ivian brought me closer.

"See? My belly is so much bigger because your brother or sister is inside me. Can you hear?"

"How about we name her after your mother, if it's a girl," father whispered to mother as Ivian held me to her stomach.

I couldn't hear anything, but I just looked at my mother with sparkling eyes.

And then I gaped as my body yawned.

"I think Tilly is tired," Ivian said and picked me up again. We went up the stairs, the reunion and revelation done. "I'll take him up to his room to have a nap before dinner."

"Thank you Ivian. Please show Simila around afterwards. She will be Tilly's maid from now on. I'll need you to help me the next few months and then with my newborn."

"Oh, of course, lady Cianna." She said.

I felt very disappointed. Why did Simila still have to follow me around even back here in Olwick? I was finally back in Ivian's arms...

She took me up the wooden stairs to the second floor that seemed smaller and creakier than I remembered. My room was different too, but not just in my impressions. The crib I had slept in was replaced with a bed frame and in the corner, I saw a new wardrobe, hopefully stocked with a more comfortable set of clothes than the miniature coats and vests with bronze buttons that I wore back in the capital.

But there was a very familiar plush toy beside my pillow and I almost teared up at seeing Semolina with his red button eyes, even though I had all but forgotten him the time I was away.

"Simila, sorry to have jumped ahead of myself. Did you want to help Tilly undress for bed?"

It was a few months ago, one morning that I was feeling impatient and had wanted to ask mother a question. I had opened the door to my parent's chambers in the Edbrian wing and stared at Vis who, to my surprise, was buttoning down father's shirt.

Sam's memories of such a situation set my cheeks on fire, filled with angst and nail biting until I told mother. She had explained then and put an unfamiliar sense of discomfort in me that my memories could be very wrong. The older Vis had just been helping father undress and shave, the duties of a valet to a lord.

I now had Ivian or Simila to help dress or undress me in the mornings and evenings, but when I was older I would also have a valet instead of a maid to do such things. Of course, on the condition I inherited Olwick from father.

"No, that's fine, you should do it." Simila said and decided she would much rather look out the window at the grounds below.

Ivian frowned at her back a moment before turning back towards me. I looked at her as I pat Semolina on my lap. He was so nostalgic, but kind of disappointing compared to Cinder or Fafi.

"It looks so peaceful here," Simila said, but the way she said it made me think she was bored already of the ountryside, lamenting that it couldn't live up to the bustle of the big city. "I don't think I have ever seen him smile like that, when he saw you outside."

Ivian unbuttoned my shirt but she was looking out the corner of her eye at Simila who was now sitting down, tired herself from the carriage.

"With all due respect, Miss Simila, I think you should talk directly to Tilly while he is right in front of us."

I felt a bit smug as Ivian told off Simila. She was always like that, either lazy or more interested in other things. If she didn't like being my maid so much, why did my parents insist on it? It's not as if she was hired for being pretty. She wasn't, with too big a chin and too wide a nose. Maybe she'd have a sort of country charm if her blonde hair was longer, but she kept it cut short instead.

She even talked back to mother sometimes, and seemed to have the same disdain for our country manor as I imagined the other relatives in Gristol that looked down on mother would have.

I was finally back in Olwick, in my old room and with Ivian, yet mother was insisting that Simila remain by my side.

My thoughts on Simila faded away as I felt something in me.

I hunched over my knees as the wave of pain made me lose sight and hearing for a moment.

I had never felt anything quite like this, but I knew the reason immediately. I felt tired these past few months, as well as fearful and often in pain. It always seemed to be at the edge of my mind, like a swarm of buzzing flies. They would come closer and stick to me, sending little chills of pin pricks through my skin.

It had gotten worse as the nightmares worsened. It was one of the reasons the hours in the carriage were so hard.

"Tilly? What's wrong? Did you get hurt?"

Ivian turned her attention from Simila, who I could imagine rolling her eyes.

"It's nothing." I said through gritted teeth as the feeling passed.

But Ivian was kneeling in front of me, my wrist clasped in her hand. She seemed very worried, staring at my wrist. She put a hand to my forehead and then spoke to Simila.

"Go call Lady Cianna. Something is wrong with Tilly," she said, and I looked at where she was staring.

Instead of going though, Simila took a few quick steps across the room and pushed Ivian aside.

"You go, I'll stay here."

I felt angry but Ivian just left the room. What right did Simila have to order Ivian around?

"What is this?" Simila asked while looking at the black splotch on my wrist. It was the first time I saw her concerned.

I stared at the black spot and wondered the same thing. I had seen a freckle the other day after feeling a chill in my arm. But this was unnatural, almost like the symptoms of some disease.