That night, I was awoken by hushed voices coming from the hallway. I was still drowsy and I cried out, a bit scared at the strange noises in the dark.

But then I jumped, startled, when a man ran into the room through the wall and furtively looked around before grabbing a painting of meaningless splotches of colours that had not been there before.

A moment later, he faded away and a girl popped up beside my cradle telling an invisible audience of a story of a ghost that haunts a cemetery on nights of the new moon.

I was spooked as both of the white haired characters disappeared from the room and I was still left with the mystery of the voices from beyond the door.

I started to cry, quite unexpectedly. It was the last thing I wanted to do, afraid the ghosts and thieves would hear, but my stomach clenched up and my eyes were dowsed in tears and then thinking about the apparitions just made me cry all the harder.

A door creaked open and I closed my eyes, my body finally going quiet.

"Tilly, are you awake?" My mother whispered right on top of me, putting her hand on my forehead as I shuddered in relief.

Both Ivian and mother had rushed into the dark room and hushed me. I felt some comfort return.

But really, how could I not be awake? You were just patting my head to stop me crying.

"I'm awake, mother," I responded meekly and then hopefully, "hug?"

"There we go," Mother picked me up, "Don't cry, okay? Mother and Ivian are here with you."

"Shh," Ivian added as I still hiccuped a bit from uneasiness about ghosts or thieves.

I felt my eyes hover shut as mother and Ivian's voices comforted me. It was only a moment in the warmth of mother's arms before I forgot what it was that had been the problem.

"Umnyumnyumm," I licked the back of my teeth as mother put me down. I had fallen asleep in her arms and didn't know how long had passed.

She caressed my cheek with her hand and I squinted my eyes open.

"Do you remember what you told Ivian about what you see?" She asked and I woke up again to think.

"Uh-huh?"

"Can you tell mama as well?" She peered over the side of the crib, her long hair almost within hands' reach beside me.

The word 'ghosts' popped into my head. Is that what they were? They appeared and disappeared, and had pale faces and hair.

"Ghosts..."

I mumbled, as I thought about it a bit more.

They weren't really there, in the room with us.

It was almost as if they were in my eyes, behind them even. I could even see them if I closed my eyes, still there in their colourful clothes.

"Sometimes... they appear," I started to explain, "they whisper new words and ideas, they show me how to change."

They were more than just images, more than just ghosts. They seemed to be recollections almost like memories.

"Today, I saw that I should use the chamber pot by myself, but I'm not sure how without Ivian holding me... And then there's Mr. Barker too. He was doing something strange today, pouring water over the ashes. I know about the ashes, from the other people. They are from flame energy, a corrosive bi-product."

Now that I was telling mother, Mr. Barker really did seem to be doing something suspicious. Was he making a poison?

"Hush, hush," mother picked me up and bobbed me up and down. "It's alright."

She seemed to know instinctively that I was worried about something. Maybe I can ask about it.

"Is Mr. Barker making a poison? Is he doing something bad?"

Mother stopped bobbing me up and down. I looked up through eyelashes and saw her and Ivian looking right at each other.

Then her stomach started laughing, but she was trying not to make any sounds.

"No, no. Mr. Barker isn't doing anything bad, he's making lye, uh, sabouni, the white bubbles that we scrub you with in the bath."

I didn't know what lye was, nor sabouni, but I'm guess it means soap, from how it sounds. Aren't ashes dirty though? And consumptive too, like acids. It didn't make sense, I'd have to go check on this more sometime.

Ivian then asked, "Tilly, what is [poison]?"

Didn't Ivian know what poison was?

"It's bad," sometimes you had to explain things in really simple terms. I felt mother's chest tremble against me with a quiet laugh.

Maybe that was too simple, "poison is bad for you. If you drink it you could die, and some poisons can consume, like acids or fire."

Mother stopped laughing. "Dilitirio, you mean?"

Oops, it was me who had the wrong word... Sorry Ivian.

"Do you know what dying is?" Mother asked softly.

"Yeah, dying is," I thought over it a moment, "well, I think it's when you stop."

As I spoke another memory resurfaced. An older woman, lying down in her bed. She was sleeping, but she was not. She wouldn't get up again.

"The sabouni won't kill you. And Ivian and I won't let anything happen to you either," My mother whispered, perhaps worried about what I knew.

"Ivian," my mother called my maid softly while I was thinking this very important question over. "We should call shaman Ikstoff tomorrow. We need to find out if the-, if it somehow affected Tilly."

"Sorry to wake you up Tilly. Mother and Ivian will go to bed now." Mother kissed my forehead and put me back in the cradle.

I didn't want to be like the woman I just saw in the deep sleep before she faded away.

I wouldn't die as well, would I? I wanted to see Ivian and mother again tomorrow.

I had a lot to think about, but it kept slipping my mind. Death's brother, sleep, embraced me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning, Ivian brought me downstairs and held me on her knee as I helped myself to breakfast with my parents.

I ate 6 times a day, which would have made me feel piggish if I ate more than a tiny bowl of watery semolina. It definitely got easier this past month with the semolina, both for me and mother.

"Sivis, I am going to call the shaman to the manor today," mother told father who looked at her in surprise.

"The shaman? Is there something wrong? I thought the curse was dispelled after tilvrade?"

What was tilvrade? And when did it happen?

I attentively listened to catch any more of this story my parents were revealing.

"No, it is not me, I haven't noticed anything. I want to make sure though, that tilvrade isn't affected."

"Tilvrade? How would he be affected?" My father looked at me, his eyes holding some worry.

I felt my heart leap. Did this man of apathy actually care more about me than he let on?

Wait, both of them are looking right at me... Tilvrade, Tilly, is that me?

I looked up at Ivian questioningly, but she just squeezed my hand and blew on the spoonful of semolina that I had forgotten.

So I looked up at father as I continued eating, attentively trying to capture what he was saying about me.

"I am not sure. As you are aware, your son is very precocious." Mother said hesitantly.

"You have given me a good son, Cianna. I look forward to bringing him to the yard in a few years."

"Yes dear," mother agreed blandly. "Since we have a wonderful boy after all we feared, I just want to make sure he is growing up healthily."

"Very well."

I giggled, looking straight at father all the while. I was a wonderful boy, a good son. Maybe he would give me a hug too?

Father just glanced over me and frowned though. I wiped off my smile and averted my gaze towards my porridge again.

"Uh, my lord, my lady," Ivian spoke from her seat. "Might I also request to bring my niece Evrolina to the manor to play? I believe a playmate might be healthy for young master Tilvrade."

My head perked back up, but this time to pout at Ivian.

Not this again. Didn't I say I just needed Ivian?

"A playmate, that sounds reasonable," My father started speaking, "if that is what you think is best, my dear," he then deferred to mother.

"Of course. Ivian, you can have Evrolina come to the manor after tomorrow."

"Thank you. I will tell my sister."

Well, who knows, maybe Evrolina would be interesting. She might know things Ivian and mother don't. I could ask her if she sees the ghosts too.

Breakfast adjourned, Ivian brought me upstairs to my favourite window.

I saw father go to the stables before leaving on top of a giant creature, Saul right behind him, doing the same.

"Ooh," I breathed out, "Ivian, what is it that father is on?"

Ivian looked up from knitting something.

"The horse, you mean?" She told me.

"A horse. It's really big."

There were no images or memories to echo the new word. I felt proud to learn something brand new. Usually, I just seemed to rely on the knowledge that slipped into my head.

"Do you want to go see a horse?"

I nodded, spellbound at Ivian's suggestion.

Ivian went to change her clothes and then carried me outside. We walked back along a path I remembered from a while ago. Last time, we had just stood outside the wooden building there, waiting for father and Saul, but this time, Ivian took out a key and opened the door to the inside of the dark and smelly house.

"Did you hear her whinny? That's Sandy, Lady Cianna's mare."

I had heard something. It sounded like a snort and a cry and a house quaking around me.

"Ms Ivian? Can I help you?" A voice piped up, one of the smaller white haired people got up from a pile of hay. At least, so I thought, until I noticed he had black hair. He was only twice my size though, unlike Ivian and mother or Mr. Barker who were so much bigger than me.

"Hello Vis, Tilly saw his father head out this morning and wanted to see a horse. We'll just go and say hello to Sandy."

Vis looked at me and at Ivian again, "Are you sure that's okay? I mean, Sandy's pretty mild, but won't the young master get scared? He looks so small."

"Don't worry, Tilly's a good boy."

Ivian stood up for me and we made our way to the last stall, where we found Sandy between the narrow wooden walls.

"It's really small." I said, a bit worried. "Doesn't Sandy need a bigger room?"

The horse itself was white and brown, the two colours gently swerving across her body, with a white strip of hair falling to one side down the centre of her back. In the dark, I could just make this out, but her eyes glittered in the light filtering in from a couple cracks in the wall.

Ivian walked us right up to her, and I gripped onto her with a bit of a fright as Sandy's giant mouth came right up to me. But she just sniffed around with those giant nostrils and whinnied again, seeming to lose interest in us.

"Do you want to pat her?" Ivian asked.

She put her hand out to rest on the horse's cheek. I nodded apprehensively, and Ivian held me up around the chest so that I could get closer.

This got the horse's attention again, as she turned to sniff at me. This time, she opened her mouth and licked me.

I squirmed a bit, trying to get back into Ivian's protective arms but she just laughed and giggled.

"Look, isn't that great? You just made a new friend!"

"No, Ivian," I squirmed around. Can't she see Sandy thought she met her new dinner? "Help me!"

"Aww, so you do act your age sometimes. Don't worry, Sandy won't eat you. She's a grazer. Vis will let her out later into the fields around the manor to eat the grass.

I looked up at Sandy with her sleek head and strong frame. Her mouth was huge and lined with white teeth.

I felt a lot better after we left the stable and I was rinsed of horse saliva.

It had been a sticky experience, but maybe it was good that Ivian brought me. At least I had learned to be careful what I ask for.

I didn't have any recollections or images brought by the horse or the stables. It's quite amazing to think that father or mother ride on top of these beasts. Surely it was dangerous, but maybe I'd be strong like that when I grew to father's age.