《Nerds in Dungeonia!》Chapter 29
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Running full tilt, Kevin guided me by the hand. There were times when I wondered if the circuitous path we took through the dark woods was just him messing with me.
“Day-long march… alert for goblin betrayal… blood loss… now running….” I could feel my throat cracking from dryness. “This life’s… going to kill me… isn’t it?”
“Is this the point where I say ‘Not today!’ or something?” Kevin wasn’t even breathing hard. I hate cross-country runners. “Cast a quick heal if you need. Otherwise, if you have energy to talk, you have energy to move faster.”
“I’m a… bard… talking’s a free action.”
We escaped the forest into a canopy of purple stars. Jenn and Topher were there already, waiting.
“Glad you could make it,” said Topher. “It’s cute to see you holding hands and frolicking through the woods,” he added, though the humor seemed a bit forced.
I let go and fell back onto a tree. Kevin laughed, though it was also a bit forced. “I’m an elf - we frolic in the woods, you know?”
“What happened to you?” asked Jenn, approaching and examining me. “Is this blood?”
I nodded. “Had to tackle the Captain. Turns out she’s not so cute up close.”
“I bet,” said Jenn. “Should I cast Cure Wounds?”
“That’d be great,” I said. “I’d do it myself, but it’d be my last spell for the day—oh, wait. You cast Command on two of those soldiers, didn’t you? I guess it’s your last spell, too. Never mind, then.” I cast Healing Word on myself. I felt a little better, though still a bit sticky from blood.
Jenn seemed confused. “I haven’t cast anything today,” she said. “I don’t even have Command prepared.”
“Guys?” interrupted Topher. “They’re lighting torches.”
Sure enough, faint flickers of light could be seen in the woods. “We should go,” said Kevin. “The torches are probably a distraction while they send some men ahead to find us. Probably shouldn’t trust the tall grass this time…” He scanned the horizon in the other direction. “Nearest cover is in those trees on the other side of the road, about a mile away. Ready for more running?”
I was too tired to think and run, so I had to put up with a nagging worry about the two soldiers that apparently went berserk. By the time I got to the next patch of trees, my heart felt like it was being strangled by my lungs. I collapsed about five feet in.
Kevin was watching back the way we came. “Alright, we can take a little breather, but we’re going to need to get several miles away before we can camp.” He looked down to me. “You going to be okay?”
All I could do in response was breathe harder.
“Running for your life’s a great motivator,” noted Topher. “Think I can earn a living by chasing lazy people and getting them to exercise?”
“Maybe if you coupled it with the sneezing powder for an ab workout,” said Kevin. He turned to Jenn. “Good thinking, by the way.”
Her smile in response was a bit dejected. “Only meant to use a little, but the bag slipped out of my hands.”
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“Well, I wouldn’t worry about it,” shrugged Kevin. “That whole situation was tense. We’re lucky we all got out alive.” He looked back down and prodded me with his toe. “Mostly.”
"Poor Yik," said Topher.
Jenn knelt down beside me. “You still look a bit rough. Mind if I cast Cure Wounds?”
“…Are you sure you didn’t cast Command or anything earlier?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Then what caused those soldiers to start attacking their friends?”
Kevin rubbed his chin. “Yeah, they said two of them went berserk. It couldn’t have been a Command spell - it only lasts one round, and Jenn can only cast it at first level, so it would only affect one person.”
Jenn shrugged. “Who knows? In any case, I’ve still got all my spells, so you’re getting healed.” She proceeded to do so. I felt better once she was done, but it didn’t do anything about my aching muscles or exhaustion.
Topher had been in thought. “Um, the only time someone’s gone berserk like that was when Jack got hit by that rage-powder arrow. Can we hope that’s a coincidence?”
We went silent. That idea was last thing we needed. Or was it?
“Actually,” I said, “let’s hope it wasn’t a coincidence.” I got a few looks for that. “Think about it - if the pixies hit those soldiers with rage arrows, that could mean they want to help us, right?”
“Why would they want to help?” asked Topher. “I mean, we killed a couple of them after we didn’t give them what they wanted. The relationship got off to a bad start.”
“And why not just come out and say they want to help us?” added Kevin. “No, I think it’s too soon to assume anything at this point.”
“You’re usually the last person to be trusting, Jack,” said Jenn. “What’s different this time?”
I looked at her. I could only really make out the outline of her head against the few stars that shown through the trees, but her silhouette seemed concerned.
“I… just had a thought earlier,” I said. “Right before I went to go talk to the goblins, there was a squirrel sitting in my way, just staring at me.” I took a split second to decide whether or not my thinking was crazy. It probably was, but I was too tired to stop myself. “And it hit me - there were, like, hundreds of squirrels around Marisa’s cabin, and you theorized that those pixies couldn’t get to her for some reason. So maybe those were actually pixies. And you,” I looked at Kevin, “said that a squirrel led you to the hole in the ground I fell into. Maybe some pixies are helping us or something.”
“Maybe,” said Kevin.
“No use thinking about it right now,” said Topher.
I shook my head. “Sorry, I know it sounds insane. But…” I took a deep breath. “Not as insane as what the Captain told me.”
“Oh yeah, I saw here whisper something to you,” said Kevin. “You kind of went pale from it.”
“That’s probably an understatement,” I said. “She told me there were others here from America.”
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“Really?” said Topher in pleasant surprise.
“Yeah. She said there were four of them.” I swallowed. “And that we passed their corpses on the way out of Woodsedge.”
Everyone was silent for a long time.
I added, “…Assuming she wasn’t messing with me.”
“So… we’re not alone?” asked Jenn.
“Well, we might be now,” I said.
“But you…” Jenn thought back. “Yeah, you said there was a way to bring the dead back to life, right? A spell? Can’t we do that for those people?”
“We’d… need the bodies…” I said.
“We can do that.” Jenn rushed to get the words out. “Let’s—“
“But there’s more,” interrupted Kevin. “We’d either need a lot of money and the power to cast the spells ourselves, or a lot more money and someone to cast them for us.”
“And there’s a time limit for each spell,” I added. “You’d need to be fifth level to cast the easiest spell, but it only works if they haven’t been dead for more than a minute. Ninth level to cast the next spell, but only if it’s been less than ten days.”
“Basically, it’s not something we’re likely to accomplish in time,” finished Topher. “Well, actually, I think the highest level spell doesn’t have a time limit, does it?”
“It does,” said Kevin. “But it’s like, a hundred years.”
“…But we wouldn’t need the bodies to cast that one, right?” I said. “So let’s just continue on, and we can call it one of our long-term goals.”
“Well, we’d need to know their names in order to cast it without their remains,” corrected Kevin.
I shrugged. “I’m sure there’s a divination spell for that.”
Jenn spoke up again. “Are you sure we can’t do anything sooner? You said someone else could cast it, it’d just take a lot of money…?”
“I don’t see it being any cheaper than a thousand gold pieces per,” I said. “And in all likelihood, it’ll probably be about ten times that - it’s not like people go to the corner church and bring back their friends who died from wolves; this magic is rare, and its cost reflects that. Never mind actually finding someone who can cast it….”
Those words seemed like an awkward end to that conversation, but no one else spoke for a while.
Topher finally broke the silence. “We need to level up.”
“So we can cast the Raise Dead spells?” I asked.
“That, and I’m guessing Kevin’s idea about other adventurers choosing classes from the same pool with no one being able to take the same class might be on the money. I want to be damn sure I can be an Eldritch Knight. I’m sure you feel the same way about Arcane Trickster.” He looked over at Kevin, but he didn’t respond. “…Dude?”
“Those lights….” whispered Kevin.
“What lights?”
Kevin rapidly snapped his fingers a few times as though it could start a fire in his brain. “Those columns of white light I saw the first night we were here - I’m almost positive they came from where we saw those bodies. Now, the goblin we interviewed didn’t know anything about them, but they had to have been blinding if I was able to see them from our room at the inn. And no one in town mentioned seeing them the next day, although I’m pretty sure the fire was the big news, but still.”
He looked to each of us. “So here’s my theory: If those were adventurers from the real world like us, then it’s possible that those lights go off when we die, and only others from the real world can see them.” Something caught his attention outside of the woods. “The torches are moving this way. We should get moving.”
* * * * *
“I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing with this.”
Linore eyed the baby, holding him out at arm’s length. He questioningly eyed her back.
Kryx leaned into his chair. “Well, he seems to enjoy looking at you, so… keep doing what you’re doing?”
“And you’ll just do nothing? How noble.”
“He doesn’t like me,” Kryx shrugged. “You’re the one who clearly has a knack for this.”
“Lucky me.” She started to set him down in his crib, but this caused high-pitched wails. She resigned to holding him at arm’s length again, and he went back to staring. “Why’s Master Gerard making us do this?”
“Isometric training?” smiled Kryx. “Or maybe he wants to awaken a mothering instinct in you.”
She glared. “I will Magic Missile you in the face.” There was a quick, quiet knock at the door. “Come in?”
Gerard, as massive as always, entered with a grin. “How’s Brance Junior doing? Oh, Linore, don’t hold him like a bag of dung.” He swiftly took the child, holding him in the crook of his arm.
“Understood, sir,” said Linore. “Why did you knock? This is your study….”
“You weren’t gone long, sir,” said Kryx. “Do you still need us to watch him?”
Gerard tickled the baby under the chin, which seemed to delight both of them. “There’s been a change of plans. You’re going on your first assignment outside of Rikston.”
The proteges looked at each other, excitement bubbling between them. “Yes, sir!” said Kryx.
Linore stood. “What will you need?”
Gerard wandered to a bookshelf, began scanning the titles. “It seems Master Everan misjudged someone he asked to handle a task. Go get packed; I’ll brief you once you’re ready. You’ll leave tonight.”
They could barely contain themselves. Three steps later, they were out the door.
“Ah, youth,” said Gerard with a note of irony, as he still thought of himself as young. “Let’s hope you’re just as full of vigor when you grow up, huh, little Brance?” The baby giggled. “Oh, I’m not worried. You come from good stock, as they say.” He went back to searching the books. “Here we are - Beyond the Planar: Advanced Metaverse Theory. As far as bedtime stories go, it’s probably piss poor, but I’m pretty sure this is where I saw it….”
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