Alisa and Reen walked slowly down the western residential street, and neither of them spoke. Alisa was trying to decide whether to try holding his hand or if that would be too forward for a first not-a-date, and also wondering what a good question would be to start the whole mysterious 'getting to know him' process.

It had been too long since she'd formed a new relationship of her own volition.

Sadie, she'd met her first day in precad and they'd just sort of fit together, in that mysterious way that people do sometimes. Though very different - Alisa studious and analytical, Sadie emotional and daring - even when they argued there was a rightness to their friendship that seemed to transcend any rational reason.

Lia, by contrast, had very much dragged Alisa along whether she wanted to or not, and their relationship was more friendly acquaintance than anything. How did normal friendships start, when they weren't being instigated by defending one another from a rich brat of a bully, or the fact that they had the same kind of dragon?

So when Reen cleared his throat to speak, Alisa felt incredibly relieved to have the pressure transferred to someone else.

"So, Alisa, how do you feel about this all now that we’re being trained properly?”

“You mean instead of parenting tiny dragons? Or the fact that my homeland is under threat of war?”

Alisa immediately regretted her words. Why did she turn it around like that? Did she have to make it sound as aggressive as possible? She hadn’t meant it to be. Why did he have to pick a stupid topic like this? Not that she had any better ideas though. Ugh, why was this so hard?

“Yeah,” Reen said, his voice subdued. “I’m worried too.”

“What do you have to worry about? Aelend is so far away.” Located on the western coast well to the south of Renand and Indencai, with all of Falizue separating them, Aelend would be the last place to get involved. “You don’t have any treaties with Leviir beyond the common trade pact.”

“But we do have an agreement with Breih, as the biggest port in the north not within the Nersyd Empire’s territory. They’re not very tolerant of foreign ships, so anything going to ZeMaille or Annasend has to go through Breih - and Leviir.”

“Really? Leviir can’t be that important. I know we do a lot of trading, but I don’t see how that would have any impact on someplace as far south as Aelend.”

“Right now, Leviir is holding the line against Nersyd’s Imperial advance onto our continent. If they’re weakened by Indencai’s stupidity, that could mean a lot of trouble for a lot of people.”

They turned down a side street, passing several restaurants Alisa had never seen before, before beginning to loop back toward where they’d begun.

“I guess I should have paid more attention to geography,” Alisa said, laughing. “Or would this be economics?”

“Civics?” Reen suggested.

“Sure. Not that I paid attention to any of it.”

“What were you so focused on, if not learning everything in sight?” Reen teased.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Alisa asked, gesturing back in the general direction of the academy. “Magic. More specifically, enchanting.”

“Mmmm, that explains…”

“Explains?” Alisa prompted when he stayed silent.

“Not many people were as deeply upset by the transition to dragon mage like you were. Dragon magic is notoriously useless for enchanting and anything we make will be too imprecise for standard use.”

Alisa nodded, her stomach constricting painfully at the reminder of the future she’d lost. It still stung, however many times she told herself she’d accepted it.

“Sorry,” Reen said softly, noticing her reaction. He frowned. “But if you had your heart set on enchanting, why’d you take the deal?”

“Huh?”

“The agreement to trade alliance to Renand in return for a dragon, that we all had to sign before getting our eggs. You could have opted out. A lot of people did.”

Alisa’s hands tightened unconsciously. “That was an option?!”

“Oh. I… assumed…” Reen stuttered. “Maybe it was only for older students?”

But Alisa remembered the number of people departing the academy, not a huge proportion, but a significant quantity. From every class, even her own.

“They must have forgotten to tell me until it was too late to matter,” she said, her voice tight with restrained fury. She didn’t have to do any of this? It was optional?

“I know how it feels to lose a dream.”

“What was your dream?” Alisa asked without thinking, hoping to take her mind off her own troubles, then immediately regretted it. She heard the sharpness in her voice, lingering anger.

Reen’s face… stiffened, just a bit, not quite losing his smile but hesitating. She opened her mouth to retract her query, but he spoke before she could. “I was going to be attending the physical academy.”

Alisa’s lips parted in surprise. “Physical? You?”

Reen glanced down at himself, thin and scrawny, far from the athletic ideal. “I know, I don’t look like much, but I could have done it.”

“No, I didn’t mean—“ Alisa tried, grimacing. “It’s just, you seem so immersed in magic and dragon lore and… everything.”

“Lia’s passion. Which I support wholeheartedly.”

“So, your whole life is built around being… what, Lia’s shadow?”

“If that’s what she needs.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Perhaps,” Reen said, and Alisa glimpsed pain in his face as he turned away.

“Why do you let her run your life?” she asked as gently as she could.

“Because she needs to be in control of something.”

“She has Riss!”

“And perhaps one day that will be enough. But until then, I’m going to be here for her.”

“But what about you? You can’t just live for someone else your whole life.”

Reen was silent a long moment before he finally whispered, “If that’s what it takes.”

Alisa felt she was missing something. They were back in sight of the academy walls now, so she stopped walking. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Reen stopped as well and turned to face her.

Zen was off somewhere and as far as she knew Raxi had stayed behind in her lawn, so the two of them were alone.

Reen studied Alisa’s face as though trying to discern something, then nodded. “If you’re going to be our friend, you should know. So if anything happens… But I need you to promise never to speak of this to anyone else. Not even Lia. Especially not Lia.”

“O…kay, I promise.”

“Lia had a very, very troubled childhood. The details aren’t important, but what matters is… she spent a lot of time with no control over her life, with ending everything her only hope of escape.”

Alisa stared, not sure how she should react. This was… so much more personal than she’d expected, so much darker. She couldn’t imagine bright, forceful Lia as anything weak or subservient. She didn’t seem to have a submissive bone in her body.

“It’s been a long road to get her this far,” Reen continued, his voice still low. “She still sometimes has relapses, there are days… well, I’m here to be sure she keeps it together. That she doesn’t do anything drastic. And, yes, I had to give up my own plans for the future. But there is nothing I could possibly do with a top star physical education that’s worth more than her life.”

Alisa swallowed, her mouth dry. “So, you’re her guardian.”

“Until she’s stable enough to trust on her own, yes.”

That’s so sad, Alisa wanted to say, but the words stuck in her throat. It seemed such a shallow, trite thing to say. Like it would diminish his sacrifice and purpose.

She couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't feel equally pointless, so she only looked away in silent sympathy.

Reen exhaled sharply. "I haven't told that to anyone before. It didn't... I didn't realize how much..." his voice choked off and Alisa wanted to hug him, to comfort him, but she wasn't sure if that would be appropriate, so stood awkwardly instead, pretending not to notice as he got himself back under control.

“We should get back,” he said at last, brightly, as though nothing had happened. Alisa followed at his side, and this time she was glad to walk in silence.

When they reached her house, Reen hesitated as though unsure of what to do next.

“I’m sorry,” Alisa said impulsively. “If you ever need to talk about anything, I’d be happy to listen.”

Reen nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Raxi stretched as she uncoiled from the ground, shaking grass from between her scales and hissing happily as she half-coiled around Reen. Alisa never stopped being impressed by the aelaniri ability to contort their long, serpentine bodies so precisely in the air. If not for the rapid thrumming of Raxi’s four wings, she’d almost think the dragon was swimming through the air rather than flying.

Reen smiled and rubbed the side of Raxi’s neck. “Alright, let’s get you something to eat. See you another time, Alisa.”

Alisa nodded and smiled, then went inside and closed the door. She stood against it for several minutes, brow furrowed, trying to figure out how she ought to feel about their evening. She was glad to have done it, pleased with the trust he’d shown her, and troubled by the hints at her friends’ history. Reen had said Lia had a troubled childhood, but didn’t mention his own. Had he always hidden behind her, in her shadow? Or was there something else there? Had Lia retreated into brashness, while Reen hid from the darkness with his self-appointed task as his sister’s silent protector?

It made Alisa feel shallow and silly. She’d spent months in a depressed haze because of a few class adjustments and losing a job opportunity she didn’t even really know if she’d get. Yet here Lia and Reen carried on unflinchingly, despite whatever darkness they’d been forced to endure at such a young age.

Sure, she didn’t have much money. Sure, her family always worked hard to survive. But she’d had a loving, encouraging mother who’d even given up her own life savings to help Alisa see her dreams through. What did Reen and Lia have beside each other?

It forced her to reconsider some of her assumptions about what constituted a ‘good’ life. If Reen and Lia had the money to casually attend Renand Grand Academy, did that mean anything compared to having a supportive family? Alisa had never felt helpless and trapped before The Traitor took over, and even now she had allies and friends making it more bearable. Or, in Tay’s case, working directly to get her free. What would it be like to spend years with no control over her life?

She didn’t like to think about it.

’You will never be helpless. I will fight for you.’

Alisa smiled and rubbed at Zen’s head. She hadn’t noticed him crawl in through the back door. He lay sprawling, half in and half out, looped over her various furniture - there wasn’t enough room for him to fly inside her house any longer so he kept his wings tight by his sides.

“You can’t fight everything you dislike. Some things can’t be intimidated or incinerated.”

’This is not one of those cases. If Tay is not able to free you, then I will. But he will not fail.’

“You sound very confident.”

’Tay is a very resourceful man. I have full faith in his power. It is almost worthy of a dragon.’

“But you barely know him.”

’I know him well enough.’

Alisa found her thoughts drifting back to her discussion with Reen. She felt even more drawn to him than before, his uncertainty about their relationship only serving to make it more imperative that she take the initiative. She could prove to him that she was a good choice, worth being his first girlfriend.

It made her smile giddily just to think of.

’Do not push him too hard or he will only fly away.’

“You know this from experience?”

’I have a lot of experience.’

Zen’s mind resonated with hazy pleasure and clear smugness.

“Those wildlings don’t count. They’ll chase anyone. They don’t have the intellect for anything serious.”

’They are cunning enough. I do not consider them unworthy.’

Memories flooded from him unrestrained and Alisa grimaced, wishing he were further away and she could tune out his thoughts. Some of these were uncomfortably intense, making her heart quicken and her body flutter warmly in ways she felt immediately ashamed of.

“Can we think about something else, please?”

Zen hummed happily, nuzzling his warm snout against her hand. She rubbed between his horns, and he gradually stopped thinking about his escapades and returned to a more sedate happiness. His mind bubbled with questions, but she could feel him holding them back, knowing now wasn’t a good time to ask. 'Why are some trees spiky and others soft? Where do the leaves come from? Do mountains grow? Is there a word for spiky-tree to differentiate it from soft-tree?'

Alisa smiled and walked over to sit down at her table, Zen’s head following. “The spiky trees are called ‘evergreens’ and I don’t know why they’re spiky.”

Maybe a few hours of focusing on Zen’s curiosity would help drive the churning confusion about Reen away. And if not, at least it would distract her for the moment.

“They’re called ‘evergreen’ because their leaves don’t fall off and leave them bare the way others do,” Alisa explained, leaning back against Zen’s warm side.

’Hmmmm… and what about the moons? Why are they sometimes bright and sometimes dark?’

Alisa began to explain about seasons and moonlight, and tried very hard to pretend she wasn’t still thinking about Reen. While it did help distract her mind, she didn’t think anything would be able to truly drive him from her thoughts or her heart.