“A secret dungeon……” The she-orc said disbelieving. She was looking directly into my eyes as if trying to figure out what game I was playing. Her eyes were a dark-chestnut I guessed were their natural color in real life but the white around them was tinged pink. Again I was struck with a ridiculous sense of Deja Vu.

“Yep…... First one ever.” I said flippantly. “You in or not? Cause honestly trying to two-man a dungeon takes FOREVER. Been down that road once already.”

“And what exactly is a SECRET dungeon?” She asked irritably. I wasn’t sure what had her in a foul mood but then again she was a woman. Their moods generally consisted of varying degrees of angry in my experience.

“Well……… It’s a secret…. obviously.” I said just to piss her off more. The pink in her eyes darkened a few shades and the veins in her muscles became more defined as she sat forward on her chair.

“Jasmine…..” Meredith spoke up in a warning tone. “As aggravating an explanation as that was, it was one that you walked into.”

“I’m not sure why you seem so pissed? If you don’t wanna come then don’t.” I said shrugging. “Hell, I could prolly charge admission for this.”

“You needn't be hasty Mr. Slayer. It’s not that we are not interested. In fact it’s much the opposite. Your offer seems a bit too good to be true, and Jasmine is rather cynical when it comes to people, especially male people. Unfortunately for you, her distrust of other players has saved us a great deal of grief on at least three occasions in the last week. So neither of us are apt to trust you. You could easily just lure us outside of the cities sanctuary, dispose of us, and turn us in for the bounty. Which would net you a good deal of money with only minor repercussions.” Meredith explained apologetically.

I didn’t blame them for their distrust. They were completely right. Which is why they were the perfect group-mates. I knew they wouldn’t rat us out or slap the location of the dungeon up on the forums. The price on their heads had turned them into pariah. Of the few hundred players or so currently in Hernberg they were the only ones I knew weren’t working on the sly for the Knights. That and I wanted more opportunity to tease Jasmine .

I just shrugged. “That’s your deal. Nothing I say is going to convince you and the harder I push the more suspicious it’ll make you, but assuming MoProblems will come.” I looked at him and he nodded eagerly. “ I’m planning on starting tomorrow night after my crafter friend finishes my gear. Come or don’t, but I’ll be at the mailbox near the south-gates if you want in..”

MoProblems came to my defense.”He’s sort of an idiot but I don’t think he’d lie about this.”

I scowled at my apprentice and spread my arms in the universal ‘What the Hell?’ gesture. Kid starts hanging with women and suddenly I’m chopped liver.

“I don’t believe him.” The she-orc crossed her arms over her chest and her scowl deepened.

“That’s fine.” I said. “I’m not forcing your hand here. You wanna come or you don’t. Do I want you to come? Yes, but it’s not like there aren't a hundred other people who’d take your place if I asked. I’m gonna go farm a bit outside the city to the south since I’m broke. Then I got some errands to run back in the real world.” I stood up and stretched, then hefted my pack and headed for the door. "

************************************************************

I walked out into the morning sun and headed for the Auction House. The city was bustling at this time of day. Hawkers and cart-girls cried out their wares over the constant clop of horse-hooves and the ring of hammer and anvil. I’d never seen the city like this before. Apparently, the place was only cheerful before eight in the morning.

I hadn’t wanted to sell my gems until the demand for jewelry went up but I needed the money now. I put the three I hadn’t given to Chris up for a 24 hour auction and headed towards the south gates. I’d need supplies for a proper dungeon run. This time I wasn’t going to be sleeping on rocks and using torches for campfires.

I stopped on the way out of the city and blew my last six silver on a crude fishing pole and a hand shovel. There was a small creek a few miles from the south gate and I wanted to stock up on food before our dungeon run. Besides, the weather was beautiful and spending the day fishing was an excellent time waster while I waited for Chris to get off his ass and finish my armor.

As I stepped outside the city I started with my magical training again, sending fire and water circling myself as I headed for the river. This early the air was crisp and clean and I whistled merrily as I listened to the birds chirp.

It took me about an hour and a half to get to the river. I dug a few earthworms out of the bank and sat about the arduous task of lounging on bank with my line in the water. I was half-dozing in the sunshine when I saw three players headed my way. I sighed.

Never rains……

I seemed to be attracting jag-offs by the truck load lately, and I was getting pretty damn tired of it. The trio was a rather thuggish looking lot. The biggest one in the center was a human that had a good two inches on me and carried a claymore that was bigger than MoProblems. The left one was some wanna-be ninja with black clothes and his face covered but instead of a proper asian-styled blade he had a western short-sword. The last was an elf with a long-bow slung over narrow shoulders.

I packed away my rod and slung my pack over my shoulder. I didn’t draw my hammer yet. I wanted to see how this played out before I gave away my weapon choice. The big one swaggered towards me and I called out to him. .

“You boys need something?” I asked flatly, making it clear they were not welcome. I didn’t actually want to start the fight. If they threatened me first I could avoid the PK penalties. This was most likely going to end in someone dying.

“Yeah, we do…..” The large one answered. His voice was surprisingly high-pitched for his size. He didn’t say anything else and the conversation lapsed into an at awkward silence. After a good thirty seconds of us starting at each other one of his posse spoke up.

“Someone said they saw someone who looked like you talking to two girls at the Horse and Four. That wouldn’t be you would it?” Said the ninja. The elf had already backed away a few steps to get a clear line of fire.

“I was.” I said looking bored. “not sure what that has to do with you though.”

“Well, We are looking for them.” The ninja said.

“I gathered that, but you still haven't told me what you want from me.” This whole situation was stupid.

“Well, those girls are worth alotta money. So you’re gonna tell us when they’re planning on heading out of the city again.” The big one responded finally getting to the point.

“And why would I do that?” I asked exasperated. “ It’s not like you can torture it out of me. I’ll just log out. You can’t camp the spawn. The graveyard is in town and in the sanctuary. So what exactly was your plan when you came out here?” I asked incredulous.

“Maybe we’ll just kill you and take your money then.” The ninja spoke up.

“Good luck with that. I reached into my bag and pulled out the three copper pieces I had left. I tossed them on the ground at the leader's feet. “There ya go, If you find a really shitty tavern that might buy two beers for the three of you.”

They looked at the coins as if offended. “We’ll then, maybe we’ll just kill you for being a smart-ass. “

I laughed bitterly. “That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said since you got here but you guys picked the wrong day.” I was getting sick of this stupid shit. Seemed like every-time I turned around I was being attacked one one set of idiots or another. These guys didn’t even have a legitimate reason. I was being attacked because I talked to someone.

The big guy pulled his sword off his back and the ninja took a few steps to my left. I just sighed and activated stoneskin as I watched them fan out around me. The elf was about twenty-five feet behind them to my left. There ground was mostly flat here and there was only some low brush for cover.

The leader started the festivities by winding up an overhand chop with his massive blade.The problem with big-weapons is that once something gets too close your weapon was useless. I’d learned that lesson the hard way and had done a lot of work getting my hand-to-hand skills up to buy myself space. So, instead of trying to dodge or parry I just ran straight at him.

He tried to redirect his strike but I was already inside his swing. My magically hardened forehead smashed into his nose as I headbutted him. He yelled in pain and stumbled backwards and I turned to my right anticipating the ninja’s strike. I caught his wrist in my right hand as he made a sloppy thrust my direction. Then jerked him against my chest and spun back to my left just in time to send the archer’s first arrow into the ninja’s back.

The ninja cried out in pain then gagged as I drove my knee right into his balls. I shoved him towards the recovering swordsman and sprinted towards the archer. The elf’s eyes widened as he saw me barreling in his direction and he turned and ran. I had no hope against an elf in a foot-race and he was too far away to use magic on directly. I was going to have to get creative.

I pulled on my magic and called earth. I aimed for a spot about fifteen-feet in front of me and the ground rumbled as I shifted earth and stone. A chunk of limestone pushed itself out of the ground in front of me as I closed on the spot. It rose upward propelled on a thin pillar of earth. I grabbed the rock as I ran by without breaking my stride. It was decent sized and weighed a good five or six pounds.

The archer had lengthened the gap between us to about thirty feet when I spun and hurled my summoned rock like a discus. The throw was short, but my trajectory was good. It bounced once and caught the elf behind the right knee. His leg buckled sending him rolling across the grass and I slowed to a jog as I approached. I drew my hammer out of my pack and smashed it down on his back just as he started to get back to his feet. The blow didn’t kill him but he wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon.

I turned around and saw the swordsmen a few yards behind me, blood running down his face from his misshapen nose. The ninja was still on the ground where I’d left him nursing his jewels.

“You still wanna do this big-guy? You’re plan to beat-up the broke guy seems to have gone pear-shaped on you. “ I said goading him.

“I’m gonna kill you dick-bag.” he snarled his voice now nasally because of his nose. He charged and swung his sword another slow huge hack. I caught the blow on the hilt of my hammer the force of it rattling my bones. Then I twisted the haft and caught him in the face with the end of the handle. He stumbled and fell and I drove my right knee into his face. The blow knocked him unconscious.

I grabbed an arm and heaved, dragging his large body over on top of the still whimpering elf. The archer grunted as the swordsman’s weight pressed down on him, but my blow had obviously broken his back and he couldn’t do much about it.

I casually walked over to the ninja who was only now starting to get back to his feet. He tried to stumble away from me but I lunged forward and grabbed him by the collar of this stupid ninja outfit. I threw a right hook and he buckled as it crashed into his temple. Fight now over, I drug his much lighter body over to the pile.

My task complete I knelt down and sat on my haunches in front of the elf. His face was turning red as he struggled to get enough air from all the weight on him. “Ya know, You really should'a just let me fish. Such a beautiful day and you three had to go cock it up. When your buddies re-spawn, tell them Noob Slayer says hello.” Then I stood up and calmly took off my shirt. I’d already gone through three of the damn things and this one was brand-new. I didn’t want to burn it.

Then I packed my mana as dense as I could make it and called an anger-fueled firestorm. I kept the fire burning until the grass was charred and nothing remained of the bodies but a pile of gold and silver.

AN: Short chapter today. Mostly cause I've been playing video games all week when I should have been writing :P. The MC does finally win a fight though.