《Dungeon Pearl》Chapter 23- Naps

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Bryn sighed as she led the cart up the hill. Ms. Kittysaur rubbed against her hip in response, nearly knocking her over and making her laugh wryly. "You're half the problem, girl. The blade held over my neck." She pet the drake anyways. Ms. Kittysaur might be a living weapon controlled by a divine agent who is using her as a prison guard, but she was still a good girl.

The cart was filled with various plants- according to Itzal the dungeon had requested them as payment- or tribute. The murals were unclear. Between this and the divine boons- if he had gotten them too- she hoped that Ezekial would be happy. Happy enough to forgive her utter failure. Thus far he had seemed kind aside from self defense and he couldn't be blamed for that.

Many would blame him anyways, but her father raised her better than that. Those who worshipped Akasha held reason sacrosanct.

The tribe had spent hours filling the wagon with everything they could find and it was nearing noon. She felt wide awake, though very hot, but Netli just yawned beside her. The Sahii slept the noonday hours. The will-less man had already attempted to sit down and sleep where he stood twice and she imagined she'd have to coax him up again soon if they hadn't just reached the cave. It was the right one- she could hear music.

There was a problem though- the crabs wouldn't fit in the natural-looking slit in the wall, let alone the carts. That was quickly solved as a swarm of threads came out and dissolved the very stone, filling the air with the potent smell of mana. Some tendrils entered the sunlight and immediately shriveled into dust- the threads just swept to the other end of the new doorway and expanded it in the shadows.

She shivered at the reminder of what she was dealing with. She’d never heard that dungeon tendrils shriveled in sunlight- had it ever even happened before? Had any other dungeon even attempted to brave the sunlight? She glanced at Netli. He was yawning again. Soon it was replaced by that same vapid smile, just a bit sleepier than usual. By this point she found it rather creepy.

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He breathed on his own, he took snacks out of his pouch, he drank water, he dropped his pants and pissed, but… Those were all reactions. Reactions to hunger, thirst, etc.- but aside from taking care of the bare minimum required for survival, he only did what people told him to. Even then he had to be verbally prodded along the entire time. He smacked people who physically prodded him. Not even useful as a slave, a cynical part of her said.

Still, it was time to face the music- and the music maker. She stepped inside, hauling the crabs and wagon behind her. Then she stopped. Bryn tried not to laugh. Ezekial was somehow floating in midair, hung in a net suspended under a what looked like an inflated bladder, like the ones they used for kickball. The music was more bizarre than ever, but it sounded amateurish now- Ezekial had added a dozen pipes and wires upon his surface that burst with song. Badly.

He also seemed to be dancing a jig- with each burst of air that came from one of the pipes he would be jerked around, returning to his position in the center of the room by tightening his threads attached to the wall. Roots hung behind him like, well, a plant pulled from the dirt. Threads reached for her and she tried not to flinch from them.

‘Yeah, it’s a work in progress. Borb is learning fast too, but like, it’s only been a few hours. Anyways, did you get a book too? Oh, and I have pudding. I tried to make cake, but it turns out I can’t make yeast- do you guys have yeast? Of course you have yeast. Every human culture brews beer. Right, book?’ His odd appearance had scrambled her thoughts and the barrage of questions scrambled them again.

“I- yes? I got a book. Who is Borb? Why do you have pudding? We have yeast.” She replied as best she could, stammering slightly.

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‘Excellent! Can I read it, is that allowed? Can you show it to other people? Borb is my lil buddy in the white bit- Itzal stepped on his original body, so he’s shacking up with me now. I have pudding to celebrate the books. Put yeast on the shopping list.’ What? Celebrate, was he not…

“What about my punishment?” Bryn blanched after she said it- stupid, why remind him-

‘What? Oh yeah. Don’t do it again. Actually, don’t speak to anyone who isn’t Sahii if you can help it. Not really a hard rule, I mean you’re not a slave, but, uh, safety. Trust. Stuff. Your punishment is you have to read me your book. An hour a day sound good?’ Bryn blinked.

“You don’t care. You don’t care that I?..” Bryn was befuddled.

‘Last time a woman said that to me, we broke up.’

“WHAT?!”

‘It’s a really unfair question. How am I supposed to answer it? Yes, I don’t care. She gets mad because she thinks I don’t care about HER. No, I care. It sounds totally insincere and she gets mad because I’m lying. And also because she thinks I don’t care about her.’’

“What?..”

‘What?’

“Do they have relationships in the divine realm or were you mortal?”

‘What? Mortal. Don’t tell anyone. I shouldn’t have told you, but it’d be really annoying to pretend.’

“I…” Bryn took a deep breath and stroked Ms. Kittysaur again. “So I won’t be punished for betraying your secrets? I was so focused on the souls of my comrades...”

‘Oh, that makes sense. Yea, it’s fine. Mourning period and all. Also you technically don’t work for me yet- though I’m not sure if this contract of servitude would be legal anyways? Unless it’s a sex thing. Is it a sex thing? Do you want to get spanked?’ Bryn’s hands flew to her rear as she blushed.

“What? No!”

‘Okay, good. I can’t be in a relationship right now anyways. I’m on rebound and also lack the proper organs for most of the humors required. I might be able to add them though. I like getting horny. In any case it’d be a bad idea- professionalism in the workplace and all. Forget I said anything.’ Bryn’s mind spun- this wasn’t the first time she’d been turned down, she wasn’t the most attractive of women, but it was the first time she’d been rejected by a rock. Not that she was proposing anything. And how would that even- she shook her head. She took a deep breath and bowed.

“I, Bryn Butcherbird, thank you for allowing me to free my comrades from torment and send their souls to the afterlife. I will accept your offer of servitude.” She stayed bowed for a moment, waiting for his response.

‘No, not servitude, servitude.’ Bryn straightened.

“What?”

‘What?’

“You said not servitude, servitude. The same thing twice.”

‘...Ah. translator broke.’

“You have a translater? Is it Borb? How can a person break?”

‘No, I think it’s just a thing souls do.’

“Souls? What does this have to do with souls?”

‘We’re touching souls right now. That’s how we’re talking.’

“WHAT?”

'What?'

Beside her Netli went to sleep on the floor. One of the crabs managed to twist in its harness and began to snack on the plants behind it. Neither Bryn nor Ezekial noticed.

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