《Getting Hard (Journey of a Tank)》22 - What Is Insanity?
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This better work this time! I mentally threatened the world, knowing full well what was going to happen yet irrationally expecting a miracle. And there was nothing I could do to the fates if they failed me yet again.
My hoofs crunched snow as I galloped as fast as I could. Furious crimson Mirdabons, snarling and growling, chased me. The squeaky slushing noises they made as they rolled through thick snow didn’t sound funny anymore. I didn't dare look over my shoulder to check how many I had pulled because I might accidentally trip—that had happened to me more than a few times. All I knew was the monsters were close behind and very angry. I made a beeline to the portion of the cliffs I had newly chosen for my millionth attempt to kill the pack.
The edge of the cliffs was coming! Half a dozen meters, four meters, two...
One!
I leaped as far forward as I could, my powerful hind legs kicking off the ground. The cliffside wasn't an evenly straight wall; it had a slight slope, its face marred by dangerous jagged rocks jutting out everywhere like a teenager’s face in the middle of a severe acne outbreak. Instead of falling straight down to the fluffy bed of clouds below, I'd hit hard earth and sharp rocks first and die. But with enough distance from the face of the cliffs, I may avoid getting mangled by the sharp rocks.
Whirling winds enveloped me. My heavy weight pulled me down far faster than I wanted. I closed my eyes, already expecting yet another failure.
Whooosh!
Heavens were on my side as my huge bulk miraculously shot through between two large jagged rocks that protruded from the cliff walls, coming out unscathed and surviving my first two seconds of falling. Hell yeah! I celebrated. There was a loud thud above me. Please let that be a stupid Mirdabon that got smashed.
I couldn’t spare the moment to look up and check. More rocks were coming up. Rather, I was coming down. Fast!
Madly flailing as I fell, kicking with all my legs and flapping my arms like a bird, I tried to shift my downward trajectory a smidge to avoid the next rock outcropping. It was too large to avoid. I kicked at the mountainside in a last-ditch effort to change my course. My legs folded as they scraped the rocks. My vision suddenly blurred and reddened, the sign I had received massive amounts of damage.
But not fatal. Twelve health left!
With the kick, I managed to avoid the humongous rock at the last microsecond, my horns almost snagging its side. Unfortunately, the force of my kick sent me pinwheeling in the air. The next second, I found myself slamming into an unforgiving surface and I blacked out.
"Oookaaay," I said with a deep sigh after I respawned. I didn't have the energy to yell my name as was customary.
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Checking the time, I realized I was nearing two hours in my continually failing attempts to find a way to survive falling off the cliffs, just long enough that the Mirdabons chasing me would die before I did. I slowly lowered myself to the snow-covered ground, folding my legs beneath my bulky body.
Staring at the other mountain peaks, I muttered. "Would Nelly get angry at me if forced a dozen of our employees to make new Mardukryon characters? Perhaps I should’ve called it a night earlier."
For the better part of an hour after logging back in, I inspected the entire length of the cliffs in front of the forest—a wide, irregular arc with its ends merging back into the rest of the mountain. It was as if the Golden Forest and Kurghal Village behind it were on an extremely large balcony growing out of the side of the mountain.
I tried to find a small ledge or a slab of rock I could land on without instantly dying from the fall damage. If there were such a place, it'd be a matter of trying, again and again, to successfully land on it while the Mirdabons didn't.
There was no such place.
The shortest drop I could find, a long but very narrow shelf that could barely accommodate my bulk, still killed me upon impact. I even found a lonesome tree growing sideways out of the rocks that I hoped would catch me, but it simply broke when I fell on its branches.
I gave up counting my deaths after the first twenty.
My next plan was to kill Mirdabons one by one by kiting them. I knew this was bound to fail given the mechanics of Mirdabons, but I had to try anyway. I gathered plenty of stones and all the healing plants I could find in the Golden Forest. There was a faint optimism in my heart I'd stumble upon a plant that granted formidable buffs, or perhaps a stone with magical properties. Sadly, there was none.
For half an hour, I tried killing Mirdabons. But it was mostly Mirdabons killing me.
Mostly? No. It was only the Mirdabons doing the killing.
Nic was right. Each time I shot the Mirdabons, they'd slowly catch up. I had one attempt that started out extremely well, with most of the pack far behind the leading Mirdabon. The effect of the sling also procced, inflicting a minor burn status on my target. I came so close to eliminating that furry bastard but fumbled at the last second because I stood my ground and continued pelting it with rocks instead of keeping the kiting up. I mistakenly assumed I could finish it off, but the burn status unfortunately expired.
It bit me, the rest of the pack arrived, and I was history.
I eventually gave up on that plan. If I continued practicing, I'd certainly be able to pick off at least one Mirdabon from the pack.
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And then what?
The other Mirdabons would become stronger and there was no way I could kill the next one, let alone the other four or five.
The better way was to equally whittle down the health of each Mirdabon and rapidly deal the final blow to all of them. Better way...but it was impossible for me to do on my own. For one, the Mirdabons didn't bunch together as they moved. Some would be to the front, others would lag behind. If I circled around to aim for the Mirdabons at the back of the pack, the others would jump on me. And there was no way for me to finish them off in rapid succession; a party was needed, as Luds had done.
My latest plan that also resulted in failure was to find the craggiest part of the face of the cliffs and gamble I'd get lucky not to slam into any of the dangerous rock protrusions before the Mirdabons did. Probably my dumbest plan yet.
Herald Stone and dumb plans? The masses shouldn't know about this. I only presented my successes to the public. The only time I'd admit failures was when I told inspirational stories, usually when I was invited to be a speaker at events like graduations and job fairs. And my stories of failures would always end with me rising from the depths of despair to overcome the challenges. Which was why I didn't want Nic, or anyone else, to witness the nonsense I was cooking here.
If I failed here, no one should know about it.
"What do I do now?" I said, sighing at the sky. "Just give up?"
I could examine the whole length of the cliffs again. There might be a better spot to drop down I had missed. But as I thought of it, I knew it'd be fruitless. The thin strip of the rock outcropping that resembled a precarious footpath was the shortest fall distance. I was sure of it because, unlike other spots, my health didn't instantly race to zero in the five or so times I had experimented falling on it. If only, I had a bit more health, I could survive it.
Where would I get that though?
A bit more health.
Wait a second...there's a possible source of health I forgot about.
I opened my Akashic Configuration and clicked on my level one Mardukryon Cidule and reviewed my chosen skill:
Lvl. 1 Ancestral Constitution: Mardukryons inherited but a minute fraction of the divine solar vitality of their ancestors.
Passive:
+3 Armor, +10 Health
Each time damage is received (Maximum stacks [3]):
+1 Health per Second, +5 Health
Duration: 15 seconds per stack
This skill did activate whenever I was swarmed by Mirdabons, quickly reaching the maximum stacks given how fast they attacked me. But what would an additional fifteen health points do? What use was an additional three health points per second if I was dead in a second or two? In total, I would just gain eighteen health points, which was about one bite of a Mirdabon.
But perhaps, those eighteen health points would spell life or death if I tried falling down to the ledge with the shortest drop distance.
How will I get this to the maximum stacks?
I couldn't let Mirdabons bite me and then tell them to stop while I did my experiment. I doubted they'd listen to a call for timeout.
"I can attack myself..." I whispered, my galaxy-spanning brain hard at work. When Captain Edmund gave me his rusty dagger, I tried poking my finger with it to jokingly check if there was a tetanus status. It turned out I could hurt myself. "I can attack myself," I repeated, with a firmer voice this time. I slowly stood up, playing majestic background music inside my head, fit for the comeback of a hero. I raised my fist and declared, "I, the Great Herald Stone, will whip myself thrice!"
I equipped the sling Mehubanarath gave me. This time, I removed the stones that were its ammunition. When I first tried this weapon, I forgot to put a stone in it and ended up whipping the air. That was the key, the solution. I'd flog myself to trigger my Ancestral Consitution to its maximum stacks, eat Snivel Pods and other plants to restore my health, and jump off the cliffs, aiming for the shortest drop I had found.
I checked my primary attributes page, noting down my health. Then I checked my secondary attributes.
OFFENSE
Combat Rating.......................20.5
Physical Dmg.........................42.6
Physical Fire Dmg.......................6
Physical Dmg Inc...................9.5%
Magical Dmg.............................27
Magical Dmg. Inc...................9.5%
Critical Hit Dmg.....................130%
DEFENSE
Constitution Rating....................19
Armor.........................................18
HEALTH / ENERGY
Health per Sec.......................1.55
Energy per Sec......................0.78
AS per Sec..................................3
Holding one end of the sling, I whipped my back. My health lowered, but not in the amount I had expected. The sling probably dealt much lower damage because it wasn't used in its intended way. It was merely a rope without any ammunition. I hit myself a couple more times to reach the cap of the Ancestral Constitution stacks before comparing my attributes.
A hundred and fifty-eight health points increased to one hundred, seventy-three. My health regeneration increased from one and a half points per second to four and a half. It wasn't much, but this could be enough to survive.
Time for round twenty-three gazillion.
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