Chapter 2

Mopping Up

Blessing of the Primordial gained

Affinities increased

Fire +5, Water +5, Earth +5, Wind +5, Time +3

Ugg what the hell knocked me out, I feel like I went on a week-long bender. Caelus is gone and my clock tells me it's been about an hour. “Fuck, Jack can’t be laying about on the job, damn unprofessional is what it is.” I grumble to myself, I can almost hear Deadeye admonishing me as I say it. I’m gonna do my best not to think about everything that just happened.

I make my way out of the forest and up the stairs, the desk is now being manned by a young woman with a large monarch butterfly on her head. I ignore this and move on, time to get the rest of the class quests done. Next up is Cultists so I head for the graveyard.

The graveyard is in the temple district, home to the grand cathedral where priests train and the center of the various healing arts in Cloudburn. The temple district is also home to many of the arts and craftspeople, not sure how that started but I don’t question it. I always did find it funny that the cultist and priest orders were right next to each other though. Behind the cathedral is the grand cemetery, thousands of graves, crypts, and mausoleums. Located at the edge is the Embalmers Hall, headquarters for cultists and also where you can train in embalming. Most of their facilities are underground so they don’t disturb the rest of the city.

Walking into the somewhat creepy stone structure I find an apprentice and ask for training.

“If you bring us some fresh bodies from the graveyard we might be willing to train ya.” He says. Squirrely looking prick then turns around and walks away. I know that’s how the quest works but it still pisses me off. Welp time to do a bit of graverobbing, a time-honored adventurer tradition, just normally you don’t take the bodies with you.

Quest: Bring Out Your Dead Accepted!

In the graveyard I can see many aspiring edgelords poking at graves, some of them were fighting skeletons that used to inhabit said graves as well. The cultist quest was somewhat tricky for noobs, you had to find the fresh graves that still had whole corpses in them and dig those up, bring 5 back and you’re done. Simple right? Well, most of the rest of the graves had skeletons that would rise up to defend their resting place if disturbed. This led to many would-be cultists dying until they learned to actually look at the damn graves to see how long they had been around. On the plus side, the skeletons were fairly good exp for this level.

Before I head into this I should check the evolution I was offered.

Hand of the Primordial

Manipulation of the elements gained through study, bond, and the gaze of the Ancients, the Hand walks the path of the warrior and protector. With no code but his own honor, the Hand is the first to rise against the darkness. Touched by ages past the hand has begun to learn of the strength of the Primordials. This is the path of power unfettered, nature unleashed, the wrath of powers from a lost era, though it is but the first step.

+3 Str, +4 Con, +3 Dex, +10 Int, +10 Wis, +3 Free Points per Level

Well, fuck me sideways…. Caelus you beautiful bastard, a low tier 4 at level 1. Sure, I was hoping for it but I never really expected it. That should fit me quite nicely as well. I accepted the evolution resetting my class level to 0. Class Level and Overall Level were independent of each other. You gained an overall level every time you leveled a class, professions don’t count. Better classes also took more exp to level, I still needed 2000 exp to get a level in this class but now that would only get me to level 1. Evolving a class lets you keep any benefits accrued from the previous ones, you can remove a class but it’s almost always a terrible idea since it takes away everything you earned up to that point from that class and anything that went into it. Each time you remove a class it also adds to the exp needed to level the next one, and that stacks. Once you get a second class the exp is split between the two so deciding when to pick one up is important.

My new stat sheet looked fine.

Lazarus

Level 1

Classes

Hand of the Primordial [0] (925/2000)

-

Professions

-

-

HP:50

MP:150

Strength

5

Constitution

5

Dexterity

5

Intellect

15

Wisdom

15

Charisma

5

Free

4

I can feel my new connection to the elements, I know them on a level I didn’t before. Looking towards the nearest grave I wave my hand and a spike of stone erupts from it, with a fresh corpse skewered on the spike, like a gruesome ornament. That only took 10 mana. “That will do nicely.” I smile and look at the old graves. “Time to farm.”

I march to the nearest old grave and stomp the ground opening up a hole. “Get your boney ass out here.” A skeleton lunges at me from the hole as I form an ice blade around my hand and split its skull.

Level 1 Skeleton Killed!

+75 EXP

Much better, the lesson you were supposed to learn was to avoid these guys, I’m going hunting for them.

“Oh My God! That was so cool! You have to teach me!”

What the fuck? I turn around and see a girl with a mop standing about ten feet away. She practically has stars in her eyes, it’s kinda unsettling really.

“Mopgirl? What are you doing here?” I ask.

And all the excitement drains out of her, she looks really embarrassed actually. “Um after you gave me that tip with the slimes I finished them really fast. Then I went to the warrior training since warriors are cool too, not as cool as mages but still… I saw you leaving the arena right when my group finished and followed you. I lost track of you during the druid quest for a while, that was hard but at least I made friends with a cute salamander. I asked the nice old man at the desk if you had left yet and he said no so I waited for you outside the tree building. I almost missed you leaving but followed you and got the cultist quest after you did. I found you again just in time to see you do that awesome combo move thing on the skeleton! Please teach me?” As she talked her voice got quieter and quieter until she was practically whispering at the end.

Okay, so I had a stalker/admirer thing just because I gave her a tip? Either she is really unhinged or really lonely, I’m betting on lonely. Actually looking at her for the first time she looks about 17 with shoulder-length bright blond hair. After all these years I can tell if someone changed their facial features, there is always something a bit off about their look, what people think looks good in a character creator just doesn’t look completely natural in the game. The exception to this is age, the age setting is pretty much perfect and will make you look whatever you would look like if you were actually that age. Once people start aging naturally they look more natural but before things go to hell I can spot someone who didn’t change a thing.

“How old are you kid?”

“I’m not a kid, I’m 17!”

Great, just old enough to play the game. She kept her looks so she at least has some self-confidence, although looking at how she is fidgeting it may be buried quite deep. Even if she was caught up in the moment it took some courage to ask for my help, I can’t just shoot her down. Oh hell, I need to train up some help anyway now that I don’t really know what’s coming. I was gonna release those info packets anyway and try to train the local talent better anyways. Might as well start from scratch.

“Okay mopgirl, I’ll help you out. Did you take a class yet?”

“No, but I have a bunch available I can take one right now”

“Hold up I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t taken one yet. If I’m going to teach you then you won’t take a class until at minimum you have completed all the class quests and know your options. We’re gonna do this right or not at all got it?”

“Yes sir!” She snapped to attention and saluted me with her mop.

….I can feel my old comrades laughing at me from beyond the grave, which is funny since now they are all alive again, they just suck now. Wish I could rub that in their faces hah.

“Cut it with the sir, what have you got for proficiencies, and blessings, affinities too if you’ve got any?”

She pulls up a couple of screens, “I don’t have much, spears at 4, and mops 3. I have the blessing of the salamander at 5, and I have affinities for water and soap at 2. I’ll do better I promise.”

Well shit, that’s actually impressive, what the hell did she do with that critter to get salamander to 5 already? Add in a water and soap affinity and she has a pretty good start for a caster. Okay, I’ll admit soap is a strange one but I bet something can be done with it. “Actually you are doing quite well for yourself. Any other skills?”

“Really?” She practically lights up at the minor praise. Yup can’t leave her alone now, I would feel terrible. “I have a dance skill at 3 from the start where I was dancing around, and a 2 in Herbalism from when I found a pretty flower in the forest that the old man said I could keep, he even potted it for me. Isn’t it pretty?” She pulls a beautiful silver flower out of her inventory, when I say silver, I mean that it looks like living metal glowing with a warm blue light as it gives off a light mist. What the hell kind of game are you playing Caelus? Letting a random girl keep a Silver Mistwort, that’s not a fucking daisy old man. Why it was even there is also a question I think I’d rather not contemplate.

“That’s not bad, and the flower is very nice.” Why do I kind of feel like I’m talking to a kid? “Well first things first, let's crack some skulls and get this quest done. Oh and here.” I sent her a party invite which was accepted immediately.

I paused, can’t believe I forgot the basics. “Actually new plan, what do you know about meditation?”

I spent the next hour teaching her meditation and basic mana control, getting both to level 5. I also taught her the basic mana conversion skill to up her water affinity, getting that to 5 as well. She learned really quickly, I wonder why I never heard about her in the past.

Teaching Skill Gained Level 5

Teacher Profession Unlocked!

I equip the profession. Professions are swappable so it's just free xp as I do what I was going to do in the first place. I’ll explain professions to Kate after we complete the basic six though.

“Okay Kate, now that you can channel mana we will hunt some skeletons, they give pretty good exp for now, I’ll open the graves and you hit them with a mana-infused strike to the head. Got it?”

“Yes, I think I can do that now.” She said with a smile, she really opened up after I started teaching her.

In the next half hour, we killed 28 skeletons netting me a level and building up a nice stockpile of exp for Katenip.

Level Up! Hand of the Primordial is now Level 1

Stat bonuses applied

Skill Primal Insight Acquired

Primal Insight

Gain insight into the elements of old. Imparts more detailed knowledge of variant elements based on the basic four.

That should be useful, the rush of knowledge isn’t much since I know most of it already but there are still some insights into things like lightning and lava mana that I didn’t have before. Sadly, I am still going to need more mana and higher stats to actually use what I’ve gained.

After our killing spree, I got us some bodies and we returned to the Embalmer’s Hall.

“Here you go have some corpses.” I said to the acolyte, he seemed a bit miffed at the somewhat perforated nature of said corpses but hey what can you do.

Quest: Bring Out Your Dead Completed!

+200 EXP

Cultist Classes Unlocked!

Novice Cultist Class Unlocked!

No new tabs unlocked since I had already unlocked affinities with the mage quest, the last two also wouldn’t unlock anything new. Now that I had a good starter class, I didn’t bother checking the new classes, that can wait till after I finish the rest of the quests.

“So what’s next?” Kate asked. “Are we doing rogue or priest?”

“Well since the priest one is in the cathedral practically next door…”

“Oh right, sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about, just me being lazy that’s all.”

We made our way into the cathedral, a magnificent building of marble, gold, and stained-glass windows. Various hallways branched off to the left and right before the place opened up into the main sanctuary with dozens of alters. I flagged down an acolyte and got the quest out of him for us.

Quest: Last Rites Accepted!

“Okay, so the way this works is that we need to go to one of the dead halls and draw last rites symbols in oil on the corpses to keep them from rising and help them pass on. Not that hard.” I turn and head to the side door that leads to the Dead Halls.

“How do you know all this Lazarus?” Katenip asks as she follows behind me.

I pause, “Well let's just say this isn’t my first rodeo.” I say as I emerge into a room full of tables and bodies. I pick up a jar of oil and start drawing symbols on the forehead of a corpse. “look at these symbols, you’ll have to do 5 of them too.”

As Kate watches me work she asks, “So you were a beta tester or something?”

“Or something.” I murmur as I finish the first body. “Your turn, oh and if you mess up an angry ghost pops out, only mana can affect them. So try not to mess up.”

Kate freezes with the jar she had just picked up. “Ghosts? Nonono no! I don’t want any ghosts popping out!”

“Then get it right.” I chuckle as I move on to my next corpse and start drawing again. Keeping an eye on her as I perform the rites I see she went back to study the first body I did very, very carefully. After completing my 5 bodies I watched Kate as she carefully finished her third. Pretty good, I really expected her to make a mistake by now. I start on a final body and leave it almost all the way done before waiting for her to finish.

“Good job, now come over here I want to show you something.” Once she was looking at the corpse I said, “This is what happens if you mess up.” With that, I swipe my finger through one of the symbols. Immediately we hear a wail and a spectral collection of rags in the shape of a man bursts from the body. Katenip jumps back in fright and lets out a small scream. I channel mana into my hand and sock the unruly shit in the nose…. well nose area at least. Then I grab it and shove it back into the body and hold it down as it struggles. “So Katenip, this is a lesson about performing under pressure. Fix the symbols and finish them and this asshole will go back to sleep. You just have to do that before I run out of mana to hold him in there.” Okay that’s a lie it took very little mana to hold the uppity ghost in the body but she didn’t need to know that yet.

It took a moment, but Kate collected herself and cleaned off the badly drawn symbol with her mop. Though she was visibly shaking and flinching and flinched a few times as the body tried to buck beneath my hand, she fixed up the design perfectly and the ghost settled.

“This is why this is one of the most dangerous of the class quests, many people will get killed by these angry ghosts before they learn to do what you did and check their work against already sealed bodies. What do you think you are supposed to learn here?”

After taking a few deep breaths to calm down Katenip gave me an angry glare, it was kind of adorable like a kitten or something. I’ve seen mice scarier than you kid.

“Well, aside from you being a meanie I guess you would learn not to mess with things until you know what you are doing?”

“Bingo we have a winner. I mean I would have said ‘don’t be an idiot’ but you got the gist of it.”

“Um, Lazarus I have a question about professions?”

“Oh, did you unlock one?”

“Yeah, when I cleaned off the body I unlocked maid.”

“Well professions are an interesting topic, I’ll teach you about them after we finish the rogue quest, for the moment just take it. I don’t exactly see you getting xp for it in the next quest but who knows.

“Okay.” She said, oh hell she seems to have retreated into her head again. Not sure what I did or didn’t say but I’ll have to try to fix it on the next quest.

We made our way to the main hall and reported the bodies we had taken care of completing the quest.

Quest: Last Rites Completed!

+200 EXP

Priest Classes Unlocked

Acolyte Class Unlocked

Holy Blessing 3 Gained

Again, I ignored the new classes and dismissed the notifications. Just more clutter really, I might grind out a light affinity in the future, but I personally had no need for the holy magic of a priest class any time soon.

To get to the Rogue’s Den we had to venture into the market district, full of shops and stalls, pickpockets, and thieves. The Den was an inn originally, now it was a messenger hall and constantly had people coming and going. Now we could get into the basement the annoying way with the crowds full of pickpockets, or I could cheat and avoid a headache.

I led Kate to a tiny door around the side that perfectly blended into the stone around it, tapping out a simple code I got some taps in answer almost immediately. We continued this exchange for a minute until the door slid silently open.

Skill Undercode 12 Gained

“How did you know to do that?” Kate asked in awe.

“Well, when you are old and decrepit like me you pick up a few things kid.” I said with a smile as I walked down the stairs and into the dim passageway.

“You're what 25? You aren’t old, and I’m not a kid.” She replied, mumbling the last bit under her breath.

Huh, she’s right, I am 25 again. Totally forgot that for a while there. Looking at her though I still maintain she’s a kid.

“Maybe you are right, I am a young man full of vim and vigor and a burning passion for soft cheeses.” I said in the most deadpan voice I could muster. Her face made a complicated expression, ah its fun to mess with her, it brings warmth to my old black soul.

When we emerged into a dark hall we were stopped by a cloaked figure.

“What is your business here?”

“We seek training, and yeah I know we have to run the gauntlet first.”

“Then follow me.” The figure turned around and began to lead us through a series of tunnels and passageways, if I remember correctly this is really all for show and we are now practically back to where we started. The room he led us to was dark with a few torches providing the only light. Taking up most of the room was a complex obstacle course, complete with spike pits and swinging blades. The course had many paths through it but much of it was hidden in shadow. The figure let out a whistle.

“The novices shall watch, if they see you on the course they will shout, and you will fail. Retrieve a token from the end and make it back to me and you succeed.

Quest: Step in Shadow Accepted!

Right, this is annoying, lets just blitz it. I walk over to the shadowed start area and Kate followed.

“Okay, Kate don’t move and don’t make a sound. Got that?” She nodded.

“Right let’s do this.” I crack my knuckles and then grab her around the waist with one arm. Picking her up I leap onto a balance beam 8 feet up and run along it sticking to the shadows. Her eyes go wide.

I flip above a silent sawblade and launch myself towards a rope swing. Halfway through the swing I drop down to the top of a wall to avoid a spiked log. Still in the shadows, I sidle to the end of the wall and hop to the next section, a field of swinging blades with only posts to hop on. “hmm, good job so far but you might want to close your eyes for this bit.” I murmur. Seeing Kate nod slightly I ran forward and then tossed her through the gap between two blades, for myself I took another route and kicked off the flat of a blade looking to bisect me. Rebounding off a spiked wall and another blade I managed to land on a pole in time to catch my wayward passenger. I had timed it perfectly, so she flew through the gap in all the blades right before it closed. Descending through a walkway of thin planks and hopping over a spike pit brought us to the goal, a box of bronze amulets. I tossed one around my neck and one around Kate’s and took a different route back along a set of ropes and spikes. The many routes back were considerably less dangerous since the rogues didn’t like having to retrieve blood-covered amulets. Soon enough I was back in front of the cloaked figure, not once was I anywhere close to the pools of light from the torches.

Setting Kate down I said, “Now that wasn’t so bad was it?” She promptly threw up on my feet.

Skill Stealth 8 Gained

Acrobatics now level 16

“You are absolutely crazy!” She wheezed. “There were blades, they were swinging…you tossed me!”

“Don’t forget the saws and spikes.” I added helpfully.

I think she started muttering some very unkind and unlikely things about my parentage after that, but I stopped paying attention since the cloaked man started to clap.

“Well done young man, we haven’t had anyone do that well on a first try in many years.” I tossed him my amulet and did the same with Kate’s after snagging it off her neck, she was still berating me in between dry heaves.

“Thanks, it wasn’t bad for a light workout.

“I am somewhat intrigued, I wonder what you would consider a heavy workout?”

“Oh carrying dragon thighbones in full deep plate on a jog through Zoga Swamp would do it I think.” I actually used that as my morning workout for a few years, the place sucks, and everything in it attacks on sight, including the ground and water.

The hooded figure just stared at me for a moment before turning to Katenip and saying “This man is crazy, you have my sympathy.” Then he straight-up walked away from us. On second thought maybe the idea of jogging through a level 800 elite deathzone is a bit much for most people at this stage in the game. Eh, they’ll get over it.

Quest: Step in Shadow Completed!

Rogue Classes Unlocked!

Novice Rogue Class Unlocked!

“Welp how about you clean that up and we get going Kate?” I said gesturing to her vomit on the floor.

“Uh, what?”

“Well, you have water and soap mana, and a mop, shouldn’t take more than a minute and it’s free Maid xp.”

With a couple more grumbles she got to it and the floor was shining within a minute just as I’d predicted. “I’m glad to see you coming out of your shell a bit more.” I said as I walked towards the tunnel I was pretty sure would get us out of here. Kate had her mouth open to say something but immediately shut it and hung her shoulders. Damn not again. “Hey, you coming?” I called. I could hear her shoes on the stone as she ran to catch up.