At stately Badass Manor, home to Lord Badass and his followers, the night watch came to an end. The day shift took up their positions and settled in for a long, hopefully uneventful, wait.

Rosa and Frank sat up in the guard tower alongside Harold Weiss. Scott should return soon, and neither of them wished to miss it.

"He is fine, don't you think?" asked Harold.

"If anyone can get there and back, he can," said Frank.

Rosa kept her own counsel verbally, but nodded her affirmation. She too believed that Scott would be fine.

Before anyone else could say anything, the announcer voice that typically appeared during battles cried out joyfully. "Congratulations! You've been pre-selected to become members of Team Badass, an official faction headed by Lord Badass, Scott Keen."

Window screens appeared before all of the people living within the manor-house. They were granted the opportunity to join Team Badass.

"What the hell?" asked Frank.

"This... What's going on?" asked Harold.

Rosa read through the information provided then nodded. She clicked 'yes'.

"What did you do?" asked Frank.

"I'm not sure what's going on, but it had Scott's name on it and mentioned official stuff," said Rosa.

Everyone in the house came outside, even the exhausted people from the night watch. They wanted to know what was going on as well.

While the small group discussed the issue, another sudden arrival caught their attention. A loud honking noise emanated from the front gate. All eyes turned toward it to see the most ridiculous site to date. A delivery van sat outside the gate, and a uniformed man holding a clipboard stood next to it.

Frank moved forward quickly, gun drawn. The little gift from Daniel would pack a nice punch if there was a fight. "Who are you?"

"Why, fella, I'm the delivery man." Between the overly friendly smile and way the man tipped his cap, one might think he was a character from a television sitcom.

"Don't hand me that bullshit," said Frank. "What did you come here for?"

"Why all the hostility, neighbor? I'm just here to deliver the stuff the owner of this estate ordered."

Rosa heard that and moved forward immediately. "My father? He's alive?"

The delivery man smiled brightly then made a big production out of looking at his clipboard, "Well, now... Let's see here."

"Seems to me the owner of this estate is a Mr. Scott Keen. Ah, wait, he's a noble. I should call him Lord Badass, I suppose," said the Delivery man. All eyes were already on him, but in that moment it seemed as though people stared at him even harder.

"Do I have the wrong address?" asked the delivery man. "If I do, I need to take all this food and ammunition back to the depot."

"Food and ammo?" asked Harold. "You brought supplies?"

"Why, yes. Delivering packages is just what a delivery man does."

"Who do you work for? Are you working for the assholes that did this to us?" asked Frank heatedly.

The delivery man offered Frank a pleasant smile. "Why, sir. I work for The Delivery Company, a subsidiary enterprise of Team Devil IRLLC."

"IRLLC?" asked Frank. "What's that?"

"Inter-Reality Limited Liability Corporation," replied the delivery man in an overly friendly tone. "Anyway, if you don't mind my moving things along, I do have other deliveries to make."

"You aren't going anywhere till we get some answers," said Frank.

The friendly smile on the delivery man's face never wavered, but he did say, "Now, neighbor, there's no reason to become hostile."

"The fuck there isn't!" shouted Frank. Several other voices rose up within him. They thought themselves completely justified in becoming hostile.

"Now. I've heard that ya'll hit a bit of a rough patch recently, so I can understand the agitation," said the delivery man. He then leaned in a spoke quietly in a conspiratorial manner, "I should warn you, though. I'm required to deliver my packages by any means necessary."

Frank growled low under his breath. The smiling bastard knew things, it was obvious. Yet, he showed no concern at all in the face of an armed angry mob. His instinct for danger screamed out warnings every time he saw that friendly smile.

"What exactly are you delivering?" asked Rosa after a moment of silence passed. While she'd hoped to have word of her father, she could accept a delivery.

"Ah, As I said. Food, water, ammunition. There are other things like the mail boxes that my minio—" the delivery man blinked then smiled softly, "I mean, my loading staff will put up for you in a moment."

"Loading staff? Mail boxes?" asked Frank, confused. Though, admittedly he was more confused by the latter than by the former. He at least knew what loading staff would be.

"Yes. Anyway, the master of this domain did order a few things, but I need someone from his faction to sign for it," said the delivery man.

After an awkward moment of silence, and a glance at the others, Rosa stepped forward. "I don't have to sign this in blood or something?"

The delivery man's smiled widened, "I have a pen if you need it, neighbor."

Rosa took a deep breath then shakily reached forward through the gate. The delivery man handed her a simple looking ballpoint pen and then showed her where to sign.

Bright red ink appeared on the page as she wrote her name in the sections cited. "This ink looks weird," said Rosa.

"Does it?" asked the delivery man in a friendly tone, before looking over the paper work.

"Seems everything's in order. My loading personnel will bring out your packages," he said before looking Frank and then the others in the eyes. "They may look a bit rough around the edges, but they are professionals."

The delivery man walked over to his van and banged on the side. "Alright, fellas. Let's get to work."

The back doors of the van opened and something stepped out, a gargantuan something. Inhumanly large and bright red, the first loader to leave the van looked to be every bit of twenty feet tall and possessed a shoulder-width larger than the width of the van by a good margin. Large horns, like those of a bull, sprouted from his head. Instead of feet he possessed large cloven hooves. Strangely, he wore the same delivery uniform a simple black pair of pants and a white button-up shirt that the delivery man wore.

The giant man yawned and stepped clear of the van so another of his kind could step out. Upon seeing the two gigantic figures Frank loudly asked, "How did they even fit in there?"

The delivery man smiled his friendly smile, "Well, it is a little bigger inside than you'd expect."

The giant red Satan-looking guys fiddled around in the back of the van and pulled out a few things. The first item was a large slab that looked to be made of stone. There was gold colored five-pointed star painted on its surface, and a circle with weird looking symbols surrounding it.

The other item, rather items, were two ordinary looking mail boxes. Though, they too had the five-pointed star on the side.

"Alright, you boys go ahead and install the delivery pad and the mailboxes," said the delivery man.

The inhabitants of the house watched in awed confusion as the two lumbering behemoths moved forward. Their heads and upper chest were easily seen above the top of the manor wall as they worked. When they were done, the slab and the mailboxes were placed neatly on the ground a short distance from the wall.

They went back and retrieved a few large packages that were rendered small in their hands. The crates were placed on the delivery pad, and the giants returned to the van.

"We only deliver packages. At some point today you'll see someone come around to deliver the mail. Or perhaps, maybe not. That one's sneaky."

"What, like a mail ninja?" asked one of the Weiss daughters, Rachel.

"Something like that," said the delivery man before tipping his cap and bidding them a good day. The delivery van drove away not long after, but a short distance from the house it disappeared into thin air.

Flabbergasted by the events that previously transpired, no one moved forward to check the delivered goods. Too much happened, too quickly. All anyone could do at that moment was try to process this strange turn of events. In this world gone mad, there was now package delivery service.

--

Meanwhile...

The wind lightly whipped against Scott's face as he rode his trusty little sister through the streets of the fallen city. Most of the fires died out long ago, but the burnt out shells of many homes and stores remained.

Frequently, they would experience a yellow caution field. Many creatures knew they were coming due to the noise of Harley's engine. However, the road remained surprisingly clear of dedicated foes.

Scott held no intention of fighting if he could avoid it. At the moment, he only wanted to return home and disseminate the gathered items before passing out somewhere relatively safe.

Roughly half way out of town, his plans were unalterably changed by a loud piercing cry. At first, he'd intended to ignore it as it was most likely some monster or another. However, when the voice came again it was closer and held a desperate quality that caught his attention.

"Help me!" cried the voice.

"Harley, can you tell me where that's coming from?" asked Scott.

The little motorbike said, "There are six goblins and a human three hundred feet east of our position. Average level, three."

"Shit," said Scott. The last thing he would do was leave an unknown survivor to face down a group of goblins alone. Of course, if it turned out that the survivor was Daniel, Scott would be sorely tempted.

He directed Harley toward the scene of the battle. The moment they arrived, it became obvious that the human was on the ropes. An Asian girl with raven black hair and pale skin did her best to flee desperately from her attackers. Somehow she managed to stay a few steps ahead of them, but they were well-short of reaching the end of the battlefield. At the rate things were going they might even surround and herd her off toward a wall.

She was not someone who'd abandoned the house. He would have remembered anyone who looked like her since she was all Asian-y.

"Let's intervene," said Scott to Harley. He was loathe to allow any human being to be torn apart by goblins if he could help it.

"Understood," said Harley. She rode forward into the battlefield.

"Team Badass has entered the battle!" cried the announcer voice. The goblins and their would-be prey all looked toward Scott.

"Help me!" cried the Asian girl, a pitifully desperate look on her face. The goblins snarled like angry cartoon villains. How dare he interfere with their hunt!

"Come this way!" Scott called to her. She was not far away, but due to the issues caused by the movement paralysis during turns, she might as well be on the other side of the moon. She would need to survive at least one more turn before he could help her.

During her next turn, the Asian girl ran toward Scott. She took only a few steps before her movement gave out, however. The goblins made their moves and tried to surround her, and stopped just short of reaching attack range.

However, when it was Scott's turn, something strange happened. A window screen appeared and time seemed to stop.

Perk: You entered the fray while mounted. As a second-tier individual, if you wish use your mount's mobility attributes as your own during battle, you may do so. Dismounting will restore normal movement. Re-mounting will cause tandem movement. Your mount may only move or attack during the tandem round, not both. If your mount moves, you may still perform an attack through your own abilities, however.

New Ability: Mounted Assault – Attack opponents while mounted.

"Oh, hell yes..." said Scott. He could use Harley's mobility if he entered a battle mounted. In bike form she could move a large number of steps in a single turn.

"Harley, let's do this," said Scott. He instructed her on what he wanted, and then the world went back to normal. Tires squealed, and then they raced forward at break neck speed, Scott's sword flashing out in the process. Harley was more than capable of driving herself, which freed him up to attack liberally.

They rode through the thickest section of goblins, Harley's engine roaring and horn blaring. Scott's sword flashing left and right. Impressive damage numbers rose up above their heads a brief instant before their bodies fell into distinct pieces. The top half of one goblin, fell dramatically to the side. Another goblin fell to the ground, his leg severed. An even less fortunate goblin could only stare in wild-eyed disbelief as the world tumbled by. His neatly severed head rolled through the air, while blood fountained upward from the stump of his neck. The decapitated lump of surprised flesh hit the ground with a meaty thump then bounced several times before rolling to a stop.

The dynamic duo swerved around and finished their movement with another pass that ended the life of yet another goblin. "Keep running!" called Scott to the black haired girl.

Obviously terrified, the girl nodded rapidly when her turn came. She ran forward several more steps then stopped.

The goblins who'd lived through the one-round massacre tried to run away, but they were easily finished off in the next turn. Scott collected a handful of coins and a bloodstone for his trouble, but otherwise nothing remarkable came from the battle.

"Thank you so much!" cried the girl excitedly. "I thought I was done..."

"We should get out of here. Do you have somewhere to go?" asked Scott.

The Asian girl closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "No, I'm not from around here, and no place is safe..."

"I see," Scott frowned thoughtfully. On the one hand, this was a random encounter, and she needed help. He truly did not want to abandon someone in need if he had any actual way to help them. There were too many dead or changed human beings as things stood. On the other, he knew nothing about her other than the fact that she was low-level.

After a moment, he made his decision. "Come with me, if you want. I know a place that's a little safer than some."

"R-really?" she eyed Scott for a moment then bit her lip. "You really know a place?"

He nodded to her. "I need to go, either way. You can come if you want."

"I... Yes, if you'll take me," said the girl after a brief moment of hesitation. She did not know him either, after all. The only thing she knew about him was the fact that he'd saved her.

"Is it alright if she rides with us, Harley?" asked Scott.

"Who—?" began the girl, only to be interrupted by a voice emanating from the pink dirt bike, "I'd prefer not, but if you want me to I will let her..."

Scott frowned. He did not want to cause problems with Harley, but this girl could not move very fast. It would be a problem to try to get back to the house with her in tow.

"Is your bike talking?" asked the girl, surprised. A moment later her eyes widened as a sign of even further surprise. "Hey, it runs, too!"

"I have a name, you know," replied the motorbike in a grumpy tone.

"Unfortunately, we're going to have to walk. If Harley's uncomfortable, I won't force her," said Scott.

"Harley is this bike?" asked the girl.

"Yes, she's a nice girl and excellent transportation," said Scott without missing a beat.

Harley's headlights flared brightly for a brief moment then died down a little. Her front tire turned to the left a little and her engine made a strange rumbling noise. "So embarrassing..."

"I see..." said the girl. She flipped her hair back over her shoulder, and offered Scott a dazzling smile. "Well, it's nice to meet you both."

Her dazzling smile reached all the way to her eyes. Her expression was one of a supremely happy girl, and quite charismatic.

Scott coughed once. Now that she was not showing the ugly face of a distraught girl, she was actually quite pretty. Strangely beautiful in all honesty. Was she that beautiful a moment ago? It was hard to say, but the longer he looked into her eyes the more he longed to do so.

Harley's horn blared loudly in order to get his attention. Scott blinked and shook his head. What was he doing? For some reason it was difficult to remember.

"I don't mind walking. I do it a lot anyway... But where are we going?" asked the girl before offering another pretty smile.

Something about her demeanor was a little unsettling for Scott. A moment ago she was on the verge of total destruction and now she was all smiles. Yet, whenever he looked into her eyes none of that seemed to matter.

Harley honked once more after Scott spent a full minute staring at the new girl. Her horn woke up from his trance-like state. This time she said, "If you're just going to do that the whole way, I guess it's fine if I carry you both instead..."

"Are you sure, Harley?"

She revved her engine in a way that sounded suspiciously like an annoyed girl growling. It was obvious that she did not want to keep discussing it.

"Well, since she seems determined now..." Scott reached his hand out to the girl. When she smiled and placed her hand in his, he immediately noticed something strong.

"How long have you been out here? You feel cold," said Scott before helping her to get situated behind him.

She pressed heavily against him and whispered into his ear, "Your body will warm me up..."

A warning bell went off in his head again. Had she intended her words to sound so provocative? Uncertain about the situation, he bid Harley to get the show on the road. Soon, they would be back at the house, and he'd find a nice warm bed to crawl into for a week.