"You gotta believe me [Doc]! The end is nigh! It'll rise above the waves, it's head higher than the sky. It's chitin will block out the sun. A single claw will shatter the land. All the races of Arthos will flee from it's wrath. But it ain't gonna work! Each step will break continents and as it moves, death is gonna follow in it's wake. Dragons will fight against it, but they'll all be torn asunder."

"And you said you saw this in a dream? You're going to have to be more specific if we're going to get to the source of your delusions. What exactly is the nature of this creature?"

"[Doc]!! I already told you! You gotta let me out of here! We have to stop it! The Giant Crab will destroy us all!"

--Interview with Patient #24, Lenoria's Asylum for the Criminally Insane. AC 1747

Yet again, a brilliant light fell from the sky as I, Sir Crabby McCrabbington, Lord of Coasts and High Crab of the Realm, return to Arthos. I know the light was brilliant because as soon as I tried to wake up it's glaring radiance seared into my retinas. Blasted lack of eyelids!

"Oww..." I clutch my claws to my head. Pain racks my brain as I say,

"Really [System]? Is your sole method of transport headache inducing bright lights?"

**[System]: Invalid inquiry parameters. Please rephrase or direct inquiry to Divine interlocutors.**

"No, no, I think I'm done with anything Divine for right now. In fact, maybe ever. No Divine for me, thank you very much!"

**[System]: Are you identifying as [Agnostic]? Please note that formally pledging to a religious affiliation may disable certain class options.**

"Just... just disregard everything I've said since I woke up."

**[System]: Acknowledged.**

I take a minute to gather myself, headache slowly fading. I'm about to start investigating my surroundings when I remember what the [System] said.

"Wait a minute... why is [Agnostic] even an option? Aethir said he's the [System Architect] and he's literally a God. He should fix that."

**[System]: Inquiry parameters accepted. Inquiry parameters set as follows: [Bug Fix], [System Architect], [Agnostic]. Escalating Inquiry.**

Nooooooooooo! Stop [System]! BAD [System]!

**Error: Invalid Permissions. [Lore] unable to answer inquiry concerning [System Architect]. Escalating Inquiry. Sending Message to [System Architect].**

No, no, no, no, no, no! Strike that! No message!

**You have received a new message! Say "Yes" to accept!**

"Waahhhh!"

**Invalid response. You have received two new messages! Say "Yes" to accept!**

"No."

**Invalid response. You have received four new messages! Say "Yes" to accept!**

Don't cry Crabby. You got this. Think of the beach. Deep breath, in and out.

"Yes."

'ding'

Message: Aethir [System Architect] to Crabby McCrabbington I

Contents:

YOU AGAIN!!!!

What has it been, like a week? You know what? Nope... going to be the bigger God here and not say anything. I'm fixing this now. There, it's fixed. Since CHARISMA thought the best way for a crab to speak was to MANIFEST ITS WILL, I'm disabling the [Will-Inquiry] subroutine. You don't get to ask the [System] questions until you reach level 100. If you have a problem you want the [System] to answer, pray about it and be ignored.

JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

...

......

.........

Woo! Dodged an arrow there.

'ding'

Message: Aethir [System Architect] to Crabby McCrabbington I

Contents:

P.S. - And stop Breaking my [System]!

But it's not my fault!

'ding'

Message: Aethir [System Architect] to Crabby McCrabbington I

Contents:

P.P.S - And if you break anything else, I'm coming down there and bringing my [Smite] button!

Noooooo! Not the [Smite] button!

'ding'

Message: Aethir [System Architect] to Crabby McCrabbington I

Contents:

P.P.P.S - And [Agnostic] is an option because FREE WILL! You'd think the whole, DIVINE REVELATION would have spelled it out for you!

Idiot Crab.

That.... okay that one was fair. A bit rude, but fair.

I waited, tensed for another message. A minute passed and I released my held breath. I think I'm okay now. He said he fixed it right? I guess I should test it...

"Hey [System]! How much grump could a Grumpy God grump if a Grumpy God could grump grump?"

*silence*

Nothing, no responses or crazy gods threatening to [Smite] me. Alright! Things are looking up! I've completed Step One of my five step plan... avoid the [Smite] button! Time to move onto Step Two: Checking out my status.

"Status."

Status Name: Sir Crabby McCrabbington I Age: 8 Months Level: 1 Class: None* Race: Crab (Mundane)* Title: None* Health: 50/50 H-Regen: 0.05/sec Mana: 110/110 M-Regen: 0.12/sec Stamina: 120/120 S-Regen: 0.07/sec Basic Stats Strength: 2 Wisdom: 12 Vitality: 5 Intelligence: 11 Dexterity: 7 Charisma: 12 More...

The first three things I noticed were asterisks next to Class, Race, and Title Categories. The second thing, is that the distorted numbers and characters were gone.

"I guess the gods fixed everything after all.*

I focused on the Class Category and read what appeared.

**************************************

Congratulations!

You have a pending bestowal. Some classes can only be given by others. They can offer a unique and exciting path to power*

*Warning: If you do not meet class requirements, the class will be downgraded to meet your current status.

Class Name: Lord of Coasts Tier: III Description: Wind and waves answer your call. The earth hangs on your every word. You hold [Dominion] where they meet. Exert your will and live on the [Elemental Edge]. Stats: +10 to All Stats Per Level Req: Level 75 Y/N? [Mana Manipulation]: Rank X [Water Manipulation]: Rank X [Earth Manipulation]: Rank X [Any Martial Skill]: Rank X

**************************************

That sounds right up my alley! I can get this class and then retire to the beach in style. Between Water and Earth Manipulation and [Dominion], I imagine just sitting in a giant sand castle and telling strangers to "get off my land!" Then, if they don't, I'll make giant sand claws and throw them in the water.

Hee hee.

With a mental prod, I select "Y."

**[System]: You do not meet the requirements for this class. Tier requirements = Level 75.**

**[System]: Lord of Coasts (III) downgraded to Coastal Knight (II).**

**[System]:You do not meet the requirements for this class. Tier requirements = Level 50.**

**[System]: Coastal Knight (II) downgraded to Coastal Squire (I).**

**[System]:You do not meet the requirements for this class. Tier requirements = Level 25.**

**[System]: Coastal Squire (I) downgraded to Apprentice of the Coast .**

Huh... I guess I should have paid attention to the warning. That's okay! Keep your head high Crabby! I'll get there eventually! Let's take a look at this Apprentice of the Coast.

Class Name: Apprentice of the Coast Tier: - Description: You have just begun the path to power. Learn of the cutting Waves and rigid Earth. Wield might and magic to [Slice] your enemies. Stats: + 2 to All Stats Per Level Y/N? Req: *Met by higher tier class bestowal

With trepidation filling my claws, I prod the "Y" button.