Chapter 23: Homecoming

I had kept Lord Stark updated via Nevermore, and so he knew to expect us. Jory Cassel and a squad of Stark guardsmen were waiting for us at the docks. Our cavalcade of people, horses, and massive fanged beasts left the ship.

I walked up to Jory smiling, grasped his arm in mine. “Captain Cassel! It’s good to see you again.”

He was smiling too. “No, it’s good to see you again, Ser Odysseus, and you Jon. I feared that you would never return from your mission.”

I spread my arms wide, showing off that I was, in fact there in the flesh. “I’m devastated at the lack of faith, Jory,” I joked.

He laughed. “So is that the girl?” he asked. Daenerys was in a hooded cloak to avoid any unfortunate incidents happening before we reached the Red Keep. I had restored her original coloring as we came in to port.

I nodded. “She is indeed.”

He looked at her cloaked figure intently. “She’s a small thing to cause so much trouble.”

Daenerys shifted uncomfortably. “She can also hear you, Ser,” she said.

Jory just laughed. “My apologies lass, that was rude of me. And I’m no Ser; I’m a proper man of the north, and don’t need a pretty title to dress up what I do.”

I gasped, clutched my chest. “Oh Captain, you wound me so!” The Stark men, Daenerys and Jon laughed at my joke. “Anyways, it’s been a long journey, Captain. Shall we end it?”

He nodded, gave his men the order to split up half ahead and half behind, and we were off for the Red Keep. When we arrived, Jory told us that the king and his small council were waiting for in the small council chambers. We dismounted, leaving the horses with stablehands, and walked up to meet with Robert, Ned, and the rest of the council.

Robert looked very glad to see me. “Odysseus!” he roared. Really, the next time he got poisoned I was installing an inside voice. “You did it! You magnificent man, you did it!”

Ned also looked happy to see us back, as if weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. “Well done, Ser Odysseus, Jon. I’m glad you’re safe.”

Renly, Ser Davos, Grand Maester Erreck, and Lord Manderly were also quick to offer their congratulations.

Then the old woman in the room spoke up. “Yes, yes, you went off and killed some horse-lord. Congratulations, boy,” she said somewhat flippantly, her eyes cunning and analyzing my reaction.

“My lady Tyrell,” I said with a short bow and a smile, “may I say what a pleasure it is to have you in King’s Landing. I can see that you live up to every bit of your reputation.”

She gave a humph sound. “Not too easily riled, then,” she said as if to herself.

Robert laughed. “Stop teasing, Lady Olenna. There’s more than time enough for that in the future. Now, is that her?”

I nodded. “Your Grace, I present to you Daenerys Targaryen.”

In a bit of theatrical flair she dropped her cloak to the ground and kneeled. “Your Grace,” she said, eyes lowered. She was obviously pregnant, well into the second trimester, but still very pretty and so very, very young. I suppose most of that was cultural; the Westerosi married as young as thirteen and fourteen sometimes, teen pregnancy the rule rather the exception that it was where I grew up.

For all his faults, Robert tended to be generous if lecherous towards women. I was hoping that would help Daenerys; I had gotten to know her on the way back and she was a good kid. Might, in another lifetime, have even made a good queen.

He looked at her, grimaced. “Up, girl, up. I won’t keep a pregnant woman kneeling, no matter what family she was a part of.”

Daenerys stood up, her eyes still looking down.

“Look at me, girl,” Robert ordered. Daenerys’ face came up and he looked deep into her eyes. “You have Rhaegar’s hair, but your eyes are far fairer. Hopefully you didn’t get his madness, or worse yet your father’s.” He sighed. “I still don’t know what to do with you. So, why not. Ser Odysseus, you caught her, you keep her.”

My eyes widened. Please, please don’t be what I’m thinking. I had no desire to marry, especially not some girl nearly six years my junior whose previous husband I had cut down. “Your Grace?” I choked out.

He looked at me with a bit of amusement. “Well, you took care of what we discussed, correct?” he asked, referring to making sure there would be no future Targaryen pretenders with an unusual degree of circumspection. I nodded. “So since she’s no true threat, and I don’t know what to do with her, I’m making you responsible for her. Send her to a nunnery, keep her here or at Winterfell, hells you can make her your mistress or even kill her for all I care.”

I blinked a few times in astonishment. That was, in so many ways, fucking cruel. “I wasn’t aware Westeros had slavery, Your Grace?” I asked, my voice denoting humor to take the bite out of my words.

Robert’s face became a bit grim and he smirked darkly. “And we don’t. I heard you finally passed judgement on Jorah Mormont as well, good job on that by the way. But no, I’ve simply not rescinded my previous writ of attainder. Daenerys Targaryen has no right to title of nobility, property, or even her life. But I am now deferring judgement in this matter, and giving you full powers in all matters related to her. The child too when it’s born.”

Wow. That was actually clever. I mean, really clever. Robert wasn’t exactly famous for his legal acumen, after all, and that was as far as I was aware a loophole that hadn’t been used before. It wasn’t in any book of Westerosi legal practices that I read, at least.

He read that thought on my face, as well as the faces of the small council and barked a quick laugh. “Ha! You all didn’t think I paid any attention when we discussed legal issues. I was just waiting for my moment.” And then he laughed heartily at our surprise, the rest of us chuckling along.

Finally he stopped. “Now, I would ask for the full story now, but I’ve already arranged a feast in your honor which starts in an hour. And I’m sure it’s quite the story.”

Well. It seemed that I had to figure out what to do with Daenerys now. I was a bit overwhelmed.

As he left the council chamber to get ready to feast, Robert clapped me on the shoulder. “Now, don’t worry, Odysseus. I have a proper reward for you too. But it’s a surprise; you’ll have to wait for me to announce it during the feast.”

Oh dear.

Then Jon walked up next to me. “You know, given everything you put me through I think we can agree you owe me a favor, right?” he asked. I nodded hesitantly. Then he got a wolfish smile on his face. “Good. So, I’ll be the one telling the story then.”

Oh dear.

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An hour later, Robert stood at the front of the packed Grand Hall. Margaery and Lord Stark were sat near him, but I was in the place of honor, Jon right next to me. Daenerys stood behind me; Robert had wanted her to serve as my cupbearer at least for tonight in a bit of politically pointed public humiliation.

I’ll admit, the power, the attention… It was a heady feeling, one I feared I might grow used to. I had grown, developed, changed during my time in Westeros. When I returned home, how would I relate?

Robert rang a bell, getting total silence. “Alright,” he said. “When I announced this feast, I didn’t say what it was for. Or rather, who it was for. Odysseus, stand up,” he ordered.

He pulled me up and put an arm around my shoulders. “For those few who weren’t here for the Tourney of the Hand, or didn’t get to see him fight and compete, this is Ser Odysseus Gangari. And tonight, he’s who we’re all here to honor. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of him. He’s an accomplished and learned warrior, a great healer, and one of the most honorable men in the Realm.”

I was blushing a bit at the unstinting praise.

“I’ll cover some of his greatest achievements, then talk about what he’s done most recently. First, as a warrior. He beat Sandor Clegane, disdaining weapons and only using his fists despite both being armed. His dog, Togo, fought and won a trial by combat with the Kingslayer and traitor, Jaime Lannister. Ser Gregor Clegane, the Mountain that Rode and forty men ambushed him – he brought their heads in sacks right to this hall, and fought and killed Lord Tywin Lannister the next day.” The crowd went wild with cheering at that.

“Aye, aye, I know,” Robert boomed in agreement. “You’d better believe, I was even happier than all of you. And a lot of us were cheering extra hard when he took the championship in archery later.” A lot of people smiled and nodded in agreement.

“He was critical in overturning the Lannister conspiracy, in bringing Cersei Lannister to justice, in discovering the treachery of Grand Maester Pycelle as well as Lords Baelish and Varys, and though Baelish is still at large his properties were seized following a plan which Sir Odysseus suggested.

“The Crown is some five and a half million dragons richer today, and we have much of that thanks to our good knight. Further, Lord Manderly, the Master of Coin, assures me that Odysseus’ advice has left the Seven Kingdoms with a yearly profit three quarters of a million dragons greater. Now, I’m not one to count coppers as many know, but even I’m impressed by that.”

Another round of cheers rang out. I was getting so many fuck-me eyes, from married and unmarried alike. Hell, even some of the men; no judgement, but no way in hell guys. Some of the women though… There’s a reason they call it tempted to sin.

Robert waved for quiet again. “Now, any man who achieved half of that in his life would count it well lived, but our Ser Odysseus has gone even further. He’s a great healer, helping save the life of Bran Stark when the boy was pushed from a tower. Not to mention saving my own royal life not once but twice.”

And at that the crowd went quiet with shock then wild with applause. Dammit, Robert, I liked shit being calm and quiet. Plus, I was previously a little feared. Now everyone would want to be my friend. Plus they’d bring me sick people to heal which just… urgh. Not what I wanted to be doing with my life.

Robert waited for the shouting and cheering to die down. “We should have been feasting him many times before, but Ser Odysseus dislikes too much attention and is perhaps too humble.”

Ya, no, that was just a straight up lie. I am far from humble. It was like that time I was in middle school and my physics teacher was so happy with me that he praised my organization. I was good at physics, not filing, and had already lost something like three quarters of my papers, but organization was part of the rubric so I got a ten out of ten on that and a bit of praise added to my year-end report.

I was about as humble as an eagle; that is to say, not at all. It was more my anti-social nature not wanting to have to deal with too much popularity than anything else.

“But over these last few months he has achieved something that I just could not let him get away with brushing off,” Robert continued. “Accompanied only by his loyal squire, their horses, and their dog and wolf, he rode out past the Free Cities. Ser Odysseus proceeded to cross hundreds of leagues of grassland, patrolled and inhabited by the savage Dothraki horse-lords. Finally, he found the horde of one of their kings, Khal Drogo, who commanded forty thousand cavalry.”

Everyone was listening entirely intent on Robert’s story as he paused to build tension. It was times like this that made me realize why they made him king. The man was charismatic, and boy did he know how to work a crowd.

“Also part of this horde were three of our enemies. Ser Jorah Mormont, who fought bravely at Pyke and bested Jaime Lannister after breaking nine lances in the joust, yet sold men into slavery and fled before my good Lord Stark’s justice could reach him. Viserys Targaryen, the Beggar Prince and pretender to the crown. And his younger sister, Daenerys Targaryen who was to wed Drogo in return for an army.”

The room was totally silent now. You could literally have heard a pin drop as the crowd just ate up Robert’s performance.

“When I heard of this, I had a heavy heart. It wasn’t the most honorable course of action, but I decided that for the good of the realm, to prevent another war, it had to be done. I had to send assassins after the Targaryens, after any unborn children the girl might carry.” Robert sighed deeply, as if I hadn’t been there I might have believed that he wasn’t just pissed off, fearful and lashing out at that time.

“But my Hand, Lord Stark, and Lord Commander Barristan argued against that. Argued that my honor was too dear to lose whatever the case. So I was left with a most difficult decision; my honor as a man, or my honor as a king?”

The room listened raptly as Robert drew them in, his voice getting softer as he related his great moral dilemma.

“But then Ser Odysseus spoke out. Without thought to risk or reward, he volunteered to ride out, kill Viserys and Drogo, and retrieve Daenerys. And in so doing, to keep my honor safe as both man and king. As you can see,” he said his voice gradually rising, then turned to gesture at Daenerys, “Ser Odysseus was successful, and Daenerys Targaryen is now in hand!” he boomed.

If I thought the crowd went wild before, what followed gave a whole new definition to the word. It took minutes for the cheering, banging and stomping to even start to die down.

Eventually Robert raised his arms for quiet. “Now, when I asked this man, this hero, what he wanted for doing so much to aid the realm, to save my life, to save my honor, do you know how he answered? He didn’t ask for lands, for honors or favors, for some highborn lady’s hand in marriage. Hells, when I tried to give him a lordship or place on the small council previously he’s even refused. He hasn’t even mentioned being refunded the monies he spent on his quest.”

People were visibly impressed by that, and curious as to where Robert was going with it. I, of course, knew. After all, I’d organized it by communications raven with Ned and Robert before we even took ship.

“No, Ser Odysseus asked for one thing. He asked that his faithful squire, Jon Snow, the son of Lord Eddard Stark, be legitimized as a cadet branch of House Stark. And so I want it to be known to all here that Jon Snow is no more. In his place sits a new man, Jon Farstark!”

Jon was totally shocked, his mouth open as everyone started applauding him and chanting “Farstark! Farstark!” He shot me a look saying he’d get me back for this as I pulled him into a one armed hug and ruffled his hair while I smiled.

After a while Robert raised his arms for quiet again. “Now, you all know me, and you all know I’m generous to my friends. So there was no way I could allow Ser Odysseus to get away with this selfless act being his only reward. All the time that he was gone, I wracked my mind for what reward I would give him when he came back with success. And then, well, there was the tragic passing of Lady Whent a fortnight ago. This time I’m not giving Ser Odysseus the option of refusing,” Robert said with a smile.

Oh, that bastard! He was giving me so much work! I thought.

“And so I present to you Ser Odysseus Gangari, Lord of Harrenhal!” Robert shouted as the crowd went wild once more, screaming and chanting “Gan-ga-ri! Gan-ga-ri!” and “Harr-en-hal! Harr-en-hal!”.

I turned to shout in Robert’s ear, “that was evil!”

He gave me this massive, innocent smile and shouted back, “I know!”

Robert waited a bit for people to calm down, then raised his arms wide for attention again. “So, before we hear the tale of his latest adventure, something even I haven’t had the details of yet, let us raise a toast. To Lord Gangari!”

“”To Lord Gangari!”” the crowd echoed and drank. I saluted with my wine-glass in return and drank a bit myself.

“Well,” I said loudly as I stepped forwards to begin my own speech. “I still say that Harrenhal is much too great an honor, and a heavy burden. But as I seem to have no other choice, I shall have to bear it.”

The crowd laughed at my joke.

“I wanted very much to tell everyone the story of our adventures in Essos,” I said. And I really did. A culture of epic storytelling was basically the greatest thing about Westeros. “I even subjected myself and Jon to a number of situations so that the resulting tale would be even better than otherwise. However, my dear squire, not knowing that I was planning to gift him a name, demanded a single reward of his own; to tell our story. And so I give you Jon Farstark to relate our journey into the heart of the savage Dothraki Sea, our actions and battle while there, and our return to fair Westeros.”

And then with a bout of clapping from the crowd I sat down, and Jon stood up.

“I’ve heard my master, teacher and friend called many things,” he began. “Some people have called him mad.”

A few hisses, jeers and boos at those that would denigrate a hero, some from the very same people that had done so in previous months.

“Others,” Jon continued, “have called him a genius.”

Now some cheering, quickly quietened.

“Of course, they’re all wrong. I’ll tell you the hidden truth, here and now,” he said, his voice quiet and drawing everyone in. “To me, at least, it’s quite obvious. He’s a mad genius,” he deadpanned. The crowd burst into laughter, as did I. Under my influence Jon had lightened up a lot and proved to have a deep sense of humor.

“You see, my lord doesn’t look at the world like normal people. No, he looks at the world like it’s an epic of the first age, and he’s the heroic protagonist…” Jon continued as I began to dig into my food and wine with a smile. I might as well have a good night, because in the morning I’d have to start getting my shit together.

I’d been given my most difficult job yet; to fix the cluster-fuck that was Harrenhal.

Once I had, my future dragons had better not fuck it up like their cousins did in the past.