“###! ###### ##, ######!” woke me a female voice.

I tried to open my eyes, but they refused to function correctly due to dryness. I started rubbing them with my fingers to make them usable as soon as possible.

“###! ## ##### ### ##### ###, ### #### ####### ### ###########. # ##### #### ## ##### ### ### ## ##### ### #### ####### ## #### ## ##### ######### ### ### ##### ####,” said the voice again.

I cranked up the eye rubbing to the next level because there was a situation around me apparently.

“What?” I asked the owner of the female voice.

“###… ## #####, ### # #### ## ### ### ## ##### ### ####,” she replied something.

“Whatchama what-what?! I don’t understand you.” It might have been because I was still half asleep, but I couldn’t understand a word she said.

“###… ## ##### ###, ### # #### ########## ### ######## ### ### #####,” she told me something again with a confused voice.

“What’s with the gibberish, can’t you talk.... Oh wow! You are pretty!” I told her with wide, now non-dry when I finally managed to see.

The girl standing to my side wore a small blue hat and a matching outfit. Blonde and purple hair tied up in a tight knot. Her hair had two colors, but it wasn’t as simple as it sounds. Most unusually, each strand of her hair was colored separately. It was a hairstyle I’ve never seen before. What kind of godly hairdresser had the patience to dye it for her so meticulously? Her hairdo was strange, her pale gray eyes were odd, but her overall beauty was otherworldly. She looked like a piece of art you couldn’t pry your eyes away from. There was a word for this: Mesmerising! No wonder I never used it before. I’ve never seen anybody I could use it on.

Anyway... The girl in question stared at me like I asked her to pull a tooth out. She seemed beyond confused, which just made her even cuter. I bet she couldn’t look not cute even if she wanted to.

“## #####. #### ## ### #### #### # #### ######### # ########## ########. # ###### #########,” she said something while slightly bowing towards me.

Now it was my turn to look at her frozen. What was she saying? What kind of language was she using? I was always pretty good at recognizing foreign languages, but I couldn’t even guess this one. What the hell?!

On a different topic. Where was I?

I looked around, and I was sitting in a comfortable chair surrounded by empty ones. Seemed like a bus… no, it was more like a plane. How the fuck did I end up here? Was I out drinking yesterday? I’ve never got so drunk before that I forgot what happened. Did someone drug me with questionable intentions? I tried to move around a little in my seat, but my bottom felt normal. Thankfully I was still a virgin from that direction. I should have been more careful when going out drinking. In this day and age, anything could happen. I wouldn’t like waking up chained to a bed with an aching ass.

A cold shiver ran through my spine. Shuu bad thoughts… shuuuu, leave me be.

In the meantime, the angelic creature was still standing by my side awkwardly. I tried my best to show a “what” expression with my face and hands. Interestingly, when you want to do it on purpose it’s not so easy, but other times it just comes naturally.

To my delight, the message got through this time.

“###, #### ####### ## ### ##########. ### ### ### #### ######## ## ### ####. ## #### ## ###### ### ### ## ##### ### ####.” While talking she tried to use body language as much as she could.

First, she looked and pointed around me. Now that I paid more attention I was the only one around. After that, she was pointing towards the front. I didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that she wanted me to go somewhere. I stood up, and she pointed me to the front. Ah... the exit. She wanted me to leave the plane. She was following me from behind, but after a few steps, I turned back to her.

I remember my father telling me once about the most beautiful girls. He told me one of his manly secrets that often the best looking ones were the loneliest. Hard to believe, but most of the time only the loudest jackasses approach them, while the nice guys are scared away by their beauty. That was why he told me to always try to approach the girls with the best looks. Even if I get lucky only once, it would be well worth it.

Thankfully my mother wasn’t nearby during this conversation because she would have beat the shit out of both of us. Especially dad.

It’s fascinating how random memories stick to you like glue even through the years and form who you are. That talk with dad was one of these memories for me. I always tried to live by it, and I managed to find success out of it once.

In recent years I kind of lost interest in the search for the opposite sex. Bad experiences, countless failures, and my self-loathing ass made me numb for a while in this regard.

The girl in front of me was the top of the top in terms of beauty. I couldn’t see her body well, but the tight outfit gave an idea that this was a chance of the history I couldn’t afford to miss.

I had an obvious language barrier to break through first, but with my phone, I might manage something. I reached into my front right pocket where I always kept my phone, but it was empty. I tried my other pockets, but they were all empty. This was disturbing because I never stepped outside without my phone, wallet or keys. Did someone rob me? I kept tapping around my body with wide eyes and an open mouth. The girl probably noticed my predicament because she asked something.

“I lost my stuff! Have you seen them?” I said while going back a few steps and checking around my seat.

The girl was looking at me with increasing confusion, so I tried to imitate a phone with my fingers. I even pushed the imaginary buttons on my palm.

Sadly, this just made her frown deeper. Who didn’t understand the phone sign? Did she live under a rock?

My stuff apparently wasn’t around here. It was pointless to start a tantrum here. I didn’t want to get dragged out of here. I would try asking around an info desk outside or go to the police in the worst case.

Absentmindedly I followed her to the exit and stepped outside while still mulling over my empty pockets. When I heard the door close, I snapped out of it.

“FUCK!”

I forgot to ask for her number or email! DUMBASS!

Girl’s PoV

This was crazy. I never had a problem with languages before. I shouldn’t have had a problem with languages! How come I couldn't understand this… guy? Was he messing with me?

Looking at him I guessed he was from somewhere far away. I didn’t think a core citizen would… look like this. At least he finally understood what I asked him, but why was he turning around?

Did he lose something? He seemed distressed.

No! No! No! He went back to his seat! We were doing so well.

I wish I could understand what he was saying. What was the problem with his palm? Did it hurt?

At long last, he decided to leave. I thought I would have to delay the departure because a passenger wouldn’t leave.

[Can you check manually for a language update? I don’t think this should have happened,] I asked mentally.

While still fuming about my idiocy, outside, a simple white corridor greeted me. It had a clean sci-fi feel to it with all those smooth, white materials and rectangular shapes. Nothing looked cheap. After a couple of meters, I looked back at the closed door. My heart ached a little. She was so mesmerizing. At least I should have taken a photo with her… if I had my fucking phone.

I decided to continue my way forward lest I ran back to the door and cried for her to let me in again.

How would I get home like this? I didn’t even have my wallet with me. No money, no identification… How did they let me on the plane in the first place? I just hoped I wasn’t on another continent or some bullshit far away country. What could people do in cases like this? Maybe look for an embassy? Would they help me get home?

After a turn, the corridor still went on, but at the end of it, a man was standing behind a simple white desk.

He wore the same style uniform and hat like the girl from before. He had short, shiny black hair and bright blue eyes. I preferred woman personally, but this guy probably broke more girl’s heart than I could dream of. I had no idea which country I was currently trying to enter, but if I looked at the two people I had seen so far, it should have been some kind of gene paradise. The guy was looking like a Greek god. I wouldn’t question my sexual preferences, but even I could see he was an eye candy for women. Perhaps the boss here only employed beautiful people?

I walked up to the desk and looked at the man. He looked at me and after a slight delay lifted up the device in his hand.

“## ### ###?” he said something politely in the same gibberish language the girl used.

I looked down at the device. It reminded me of one of those console controllers you wave around and occasionally hit the TV screen with. I looked back at the guy. He was looking at me, and neither of us said anything.

Finally, I decided to break the silence.

“What?” I knew he couldn’t understand it but still… it came like a reflex. Such a day. This was the second time today my first sentence to someone I’ve met for the first time was “what”. I should have learned some manners. My mother would have slapped the back of my head for this.

Desk guy’s PoV

Whoa! What was up with this man and his… face? I couldn’t even understand what he said. Ignoring the passenger's looks, I tried again.

“Would you mind letting me scan your IDChip Sir?” I asked him with a solid smile. When in doubt, always smile!

“###… # #### ##### ### ######## ####, #### #### ## ## #### ### ####### ###” he told me something with a tired voice while wildly flailing his hands around.

He was clearly talking, but in a language, I didn’t understand.

[What’s this language? Why can’t I understand him?] I asked mentally.

[I … I don’t know. This is not something that should happen,] came the answer.

Maybe he just didn’t want to talk with me? This was bothersome. I tried showing him to hold out his hand so I could scan him.

He was looking at me suspiciously but did so in the end. I used the scanner and…

It turned red.

[Why is it red? What’s happening?!] I asked in a panic.

[Wow… This is crazy. It’s red!]

[But why?! This never happened before. What should I do?]

[Red indicates the scanner didn’t find an IDChip in him. Scan him again; it must have been a mistake.]

I used the scanner again, but it still turned red.

[Impossible! I think you should call the supervisor. We clearly aren’t equipped to handle this situation.]

The guy wanted to scan my hand with his controller. Was that supposed to be a metal detector? Shouldn’t there be a gate for this and why was he only scanning one arm?

Oh shit, it turned red. He had an “oh shit” face, too. This was bad. Was I illegal here? What if they arrest me and send me to a coal mine as a prisoner for the rest of my life? The guy wanted to scan me again. Maybe it was just an erro… it turned red again... FUCK!

At least he was sweating just like me. That made me feel slightly better. Stupid human nature.

He started pushing buttons on his table. Probably calling an armed strike team to squeeze my face to the ground. Someone started talking back to him. Here I come lifelong prison work. What was the rule? Should I hit the biggest guy to establish dominance?

After his little chat, he looked up at me with a troubled expression and started talking again.

Ah man… why was he talking to me if he knew I didn’t understand any of it?

Maybe he saw my frown because he stopped speaking and just motioned with his hand for me to follow him. I guessed the strike team was on a coffee break and I had to go to them personally for that face to the ground experience. The guy left the desk and went to the side where a door slid to the side automatically as he approached it. We entered a small room, and he waved his hand at the console on the side wall. This was a high-tech airport for sure. Following that the door closed and I could feel the movement in my stomach. Not even a minute later the door opened again, and he motioned me to leave the lift with him.

…

“Fuck me,” I blurted out while looking around.

Maybe I wasn’t drinking yesterday. I ate, sniffed or smoked something strong, and I was high as a kite on some new hallucinogenic drug. This couldn't be real.

The place we entered was an enormous hall with glass ceiling and massive white columns all over the place. There were hundreds of people walking around, sitting on chairs or just chatting with each other. Nothing out of the ordinary except the alien creatures and the robots.

One thing was for sure. This wasn’t Europe, and I wasn’t on a relaxing holiday trip.