《Curse Gunner》Shortcut

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The day seemed to fly by in a haze of sharp teasing, pleasant reading, chatting about spellcraft, and other pleasantries Helena hadn't enjoyed in far too long. Dinner had been excellent as well, though Kseniya bringing up her childhood in front of Alexis had given her reason to grimace a few times. And everyone, including Alexis, made fun of her for drinking wine with water like a civilized person. Still it was fun. And fun was something Helena could always use more of.

The morning was lively too, with Lyudmila taking over breakfast. Helena thought the western dishes were a little too heavy for the first meal of the day. But it was something she'd have to get used to when she was working in the Black Forest.

Everyone seemed in good spirits. To her surprise even Shizuka had appeared briefly to grab some milk and porridge, thought the shy spirit vanished almost immediately when Alexis greeted her. Some old habits were impossible to break.

Still all good things had to end. And Helena was on a tight schedule. So as she cleaned the last plate, she called out to Lyudmila. "The fairy gate is best opened at noon, right?"

Lyudmila nodded slowly. "Yes. You'll want a guide too, and that I'm afraid will cost you. You know how the fey are about payment. Especially the ones near here."

Helena nodded. "Yeah. We'll be getting an influx of cash soon anyway when we get to Alexis' county." She wiped the dish dry then placed it on the stack. "How much will we need?"

"A full sheep, so five rubles," Lyudmila said. "You'll want to go with a wolf after all."

"We are traveling the fairy roads in the company of a wolf?" Alexis asked with a shiver. "That seems unsafe...."

Kseniya smiled. "Here in the north, we understand that wolves are dogs who are man's equal. If you treat a wolf fairly, he will treat you fairly in return."

"And I am used to walking the fairy realms," Helena said. "I just want a guide so we can get to where we're going in less than a month."

Alexis took it with her usual mix of good humor and apprehension. "I shall trust your knowledge on matters." She rifled through her wallet and handed over the gold. "I hope that since I am a traveler as well, my money shall suffice for the gift."

"Yes. It should do better because you are the one going home," Lyudmila said as she pocketed the coins.

"Anything else we should know?" Helena asked. "You're more in tune with the local fey then I would be."

Lyudmila looked over to her sister, who nodded. "The court is elsewhere right now, and Baba Yaga is tormenting some hero further into the Rus lands, so there's no major players. It's just the local spirits and renegades. For good and ill."

"Mostly smooth sailing then," Helena said. "I'll keep some quick attack spells ready for whatever's inevitably dumb enough to mess with me and our guide."

"That should handle matters," Lyudmila said. "And if not..." she pulled out a pouch and handed it to Alexis. "These should do the trick."

Alexis frowned and opened the bag. She reached in, then her eyes opened wide as she pulled out a bullet. "Cold iron? This would indeed do the job, though I dread what it would do to my pistol."

"Better than being elf shot," Lyudmila said. "But it's not true cold iron. Just a magical replica. You won't kill them, just stun them. And it should damage your pistol less."

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"I'll prepare one then," Alexis said. "My thanks."

"Think nothing of it," Lyudmila said.

As Alexis stepped outside to load her pistol Helena looked over her own preparations. She spent some time boosting her personal wards against injury and ill fortune, then checked her spellcards. The ornate miniature scrolls each held a powerful magical attack. Unfortunately the spell could only follow a set pattern, but it still allowed for a powerful attack to be keyed to a single word. She probably wouldn't need it, unless she was attacked by a master magician or a lost troll, but being able to level a building at a moment's notice helped Helena feel calm.

A few hours later the sun was approaching its zenith. Kseniya had brought out the sheep and turned it over to Alexis, who had in turn handed it over to Helena. Helena took the sacrifice to the edge of the clearing, whispered a spell to stun the creature then slit the beast's throat.

She let the body fall to the ground and stepped away, working through the ritual of calling. Unlike the summoning she'd used on the fairy, this spell was more unrefined. Instead of using the essence of a name she asked for a friend for her travels. And instead of setting up a portal to grab someone right then and there, she sent the request out on the wind with the smell of blood. The forest would answer as it wished.

Fortunately she did not have to wait long. Barely five minutes had passed when a grey-brown wolf cautiously padded out of the shadows. The canine moved to sniff the corpse, but politely sat down and addressed them. "Well met children of the oath. You have an offer for me?"

"I seek a guide through Faerie," Helena said. "From here to the Germanic lands with one human accompanying us. I offer you food, and aid along the way there." Lyudmila coughed, and Helena sighed. "As well as any bargain you wish to make with my friends."

The wolf panted happily. "I have no need of magic, but a meal and a story to tell is a fine tribute for a day’s walk. Especially with one who is friend to my people twice over. Tell me why you walk the realms as we travel, and I will accept your offer."

"Accepted," Helena said. "It is before noon, so please feel free to enjoy your meal. We'll have our own lunch as well."

The wolf tore off a bite and swallowed it before panting in laughter again. "It seems your stomachs are as tough as your reputations. Well I'll keep the bone crunching down anyway."

"Our thanks," Helena replied with a grin. She turned to her friends. "Might as well eat here rather than while walking in Fairie. It's safer that way."

"Nothing will complain about you eating a friend if you have lunch here," Kseniya agreed.

Alexis was still giving the wolf a wary look. "Are you sure the wolves here are safe? And that he won't change his mind when we get to my county?"

"Certain," Lyudmila said. "Wolves are very loyal."

"And he was guided to us by Hecate," Helena added. "Who reigns over dogs and wolves. Even the wolves of your realm will respect that connection."

Alexis slowly nodded at that. "I suppose that is fair." Helena wondered if Alexis had accepted that wolves might have interests outside their stomach, or if she'd just reinterpreted Helena's words to mean magic was protecting them. But either way it seemed the noblewoman was mollified.

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Kseniya showed the other reason to eat here as opposed to on the road when she brought out some wine, and the four enjoyed a light luncheon of bread and cheese, with only the occasional crunch of bone to remind them of their guide's presence.

They finished up about two minutes before noon, giving Helena plenty of time to secure her pack. The wolf was done as well, the sheep reduced to only scraps of blood and bones. Helena idly wondered how the fey animal managed to eat an entire sheep in one setting, but there was probably no good answer. From what Lyudmila had told her, the wolves here could eat an entire horse, and frequently did so. At least they didn't complain about the portion size. She walked up and bowed to the wolf. "Are you ready to travel?"

"I am indeed. And we should get going soon." The wolf scratched at its ear. "The realm may grant some leeway but leaving at the sun's zenith is best."

"Then we should be off." Alexis said hoisting her own bag. She turned and bowed to Kseniya and Lyudmila. "Thank you for your hospitality. I had a wonderful time. If you are ever in Strausfen County I will happily return the favor."

Kseniya smiled. "It was nice meeting you."

"Indeed. And we'll take you up on that offer if we ever do stop by," Lyudmila said. The witch then turned to Helena. "I'll see you later Helena. Take care of yourself. Please."

Helena nodded. "I will. And I'll take care of anyone who tries to stop me as well." She shrugged at Lyudmila's sigh. Given the situation, violence was inevitable at some point.

Kseniya shook her head as she waved goodbye. "Don't forget, we're willing to help if you need it."

"I won't," Helena replied sincerely. "And don't hesitate to call on me either."

She turned to her guide. "Well then sir wolf. Should I open the gate?"

The wolf wagged its tail and shook its head. "No, no. I can do it in a place like this. And it will make guiding you easier. Just stay close."

Helena nodded, then waved Alexis forward. "You should go second. I'll take up the rear."

"I suppose that is the smartest plan," Alexis replied hesitantly. The woman took a breath, then moved between Helena and the wolf. "Shall we go then?"

"Yes. Remember, stay close. The transition is the hardest part. Except for all the others." the wolf said. With a flick of his tail he turned and walked into the forest.

Alexis and Helena strode quickly behind the wolf. At first they seemed to simply be taking a walk in the forest, but as each stride past things... shifted. The wind became a little more refreshing, the plants became a little healthier and taller, colors seemed to brighten, and the sun seemed both brighter and softer. And of course Helena saw the biggest difference. Magic was becoming the same as reality.

The changeover was as sudden as a lightning strike. With a single step, they were there. A meadow of Fairie stood before them, a single path heading forward.

The wolf's ears twitched and he panted a laugh at them. "There we are. Right into Fairie as easily as I said it would be."

Alexis looked around with wonder and apprehension. "Amazing. I thought your friend's house looked like something from a storybook, but this.... This beats that in every measure."

Helena and the wolf let Alexis gawk in wonderment for a bit. It wasn't every day a magician got into Fairie, much less a normal human. However soon the wonderment faded and the reality set in. Alexis frowned and looked down the path. "So, I take it we must stick to the path?"

"No," Helena said. "We'll be going directly there." She ignored Alexis' stunned surprise and looked at the wolf. "Do you know which way from here?"

"Oh yes," the wolf said as he scratched an itch. "I just wanted you to be the one to tell her we're taking the quick route. I don't think she trusts me. Though given my cousins in her lands, I can't blame her much."

Alexis finally recovered. "Off the path?! But, the stories always say never to leave the path! You get lost forever. Or run into horrible monsters like trolls, or basilisks, or-"

"Us," Helena said. "I imagine running into a witch, a wolf, and a noblewoman with enchanted bullets would end many a tale. If I just wanted to walk down a path I wouldn't have needed a guide."

The wolf chuckled. "Think on it, miss. If leaving the path was deadly to us fae creatures, how would there be any monsters off the path? All but the kindest of us like a good hunt now and then."

Alexis hesitated. "Have you ever hunted someone who left the path, sir wolf?"

"I have." The wolf yawned, causing Alexis to shiver a bit. The wolf wagged its tail as it continued. "A haughty nobleman, his cruel retainers, and the beggar they pursued all fled into the woods that night. But! That is a tale for later. After all, you owe me your story first." The wolf stood and faced south. "And we can chat as we walk, for the walk will be long, and I imagine you wish to arrive with the sundown, not at midnight."

"Yes, that would be best," Helena said, falling in behind the wolf. "Do we need to hurry?"

"No, but we should not tarry long either," the wolf said as he began walking. "Come friends. The lands we travel through should be pleasant. And our tales should fill most of it. Let us start with the tale of how you came here."

Helena stepped out into the meadow and beckoned Alexis forward. The noblewoman eyed the edge of the path warily, but took a deep breath and forced herself to begin walking as well. Helena nodded in approval and let the woman press ahead of her. As they moved she said, "This is your tale Alexis, so why don't you start at the beginning?"

Alexis nodded stiffly, but her voice did waver as she began her tale. "I am Alexis von Strausfen daughter of Holdst von Strausfen. We had been living in peace for several years when I first noticed I had been suffering a string of bad luck...."

The trio walked for about an hour through the woods of Faerie, Alexis explaining what had happened, and Helena adding in bits and pieces as she went. The wolf was a patient listener, asking occasional questions to break up the story into more manageable chunks.

"And so Helena called upon you to guide us back to the source of the trouble," Alexis finished.

The wolf yawned and yipped happily. "It sounds like quite the story. I'm happy to be part of it. You'll have to tell me how it ends."

"I shall attempt to tell you, though I think Helena may be the one delivering the message," Alexis said.

"Probably," Helena said dryly. She looked to the wolf. "Now you had a story to tell us I think?"

Alexis grimaced, while the wolf nodded its head. "I do, but it may have to wait a bit." The wolf stopped. "We are approaching the more dangerous part of the trip."

Helena looked around. The forest seemed just as green, but she noticed the light had faded. And not just because of the sun setting. "Does something dangerous live here?"

"Not that I know of. But we should be cautious anyway," the wolf replied. "Move quietly and keep an eye out."

Alexis nodded and palmed her pistol, while Helena grimaced. There was always something when you wandered through Fairie. At least this trip would only involve one attack.

The trio moved quietly through the darker forest. Now that she was paying attention Helena noticed the moss on the trees, and the scattered rocks that broke the landscape. They avoided the thicker brush completely, and the little creeks they'd hopped along the way turned from minor interruptions to possible ambush spots.

It was almost a relief when the wolf stopped and growled. "I smell blood. Fresh blood." The creature's eyes narrowed. "And cold iron."

Helena groaned. "Only two people carry cold iron in the fae realms. Humans and-"

Three creatures burst out of the underbrush with a heavy clanking, one in front, two behind surrounding them. They were four feet tall and looked like twisted little men, each wearing iron boots and carrying an iron pike. But their most obvious feature was their crimson caps, dripping wet with blood. "Aye, you're in a right pickle now," the one that had moved to block their way cackled. "We'll be taking some of that blood."

"Redcaps," Helena finished.

Alexis gasped, but leveled her pistol at the closest foe. The woman's hands were shaking, but she was doing her best to get a solid shot. Their wolf guide hunkered down and growled, waiting for an opportune moment to strike.

Helena just sighed and put her hands on her hips as she dragged her toe through the dirt. She glared at the closest redcap. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

The redcap closest to her blinked, then took a step back. "Fucking Hell! It's the damned Curse Gunner!"

Helena resisted the urge to smirk as the three redcaps and Alexis all turned to stare at her. "That is indeed my title," Helena said.

"What of it!?" The redcap near Alexis spat. "You might be known, but we know your geas as well. Ye canna kill us. And that means we can kill you afore ye hex us!"

"Maybe if you had any semblance of stealth," Helena sneered. "But it's too late now." She snapped her fingers and the line she had drawn turned into a circular barrier around her and her friends. "I'm afraid your plan is ruined."

The redcaps all swore in frustration, while Alexis relaxed and the wolf began its panting laugh again. The one who had challenged her before slammed his pike against the barrier futily. "We canna get in, but you canna get out! We'll have ourselves a merry siege."

"We could do that," Helena said. "Or I could turn you all into lizards. But since I like sticking to both the spirit and the letter of my oaths when I can, I'll pick the most amusing option." She turned to Alexis. "Would you mind reciting some scripture? Psalms are a good choice."

Alexis blinked in confusion, but nodded. "I can hardly refuse a request for prayer given we are safe in the Lord's care." She bowed her head and began reciting, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...."

The redcaps began wailing and moaning as Alexis prayed. "Fuck, not this shit again!" "Ack! That was a molar!" "Bugger this! I'm out before I run out of teeth!"

The evil fairies scattered to the winds as fast as they had come, leaving behind six teeth on the forest floor. "Thank you Alexis," Helena said as she dispelled the circle.

Alexis nodded, then hid her pistol. "Had I known they were weak against the word of the Lord, I would have been much less afraid. How did that come about?"

"They are blasphemous spirits," the wolf said. "But don't get too careless miss. They usually replace the teeth they lost with their victims'. Try knocking their hats off instead."

The fear returned slightly to Alexis' eyes. "I shall heed that advice." The woman turned to Helena. "And now I must ask you, how did you come to be so well known amongst the Fey? There are few in your realm. Nedvarious said that the older dryads and naiads guard the Greek realms jealously."

The wolf spoke up before Helena could reply. "You did not know? Helena the Curse Gunner is one of only three non-Gaelic magicians to swear a geas in the last century. And even more boldly, she swore to never kill one of the Fair Folk. She and her friends are famous in our realm."

Alexis looked at her in awe. "You never told me this tale. And the others? Are they the sisters we stayed with?"

Helena tried to wave the adulation away. "Yes, that's us. And it's honestly not that big an oath. As I said when I swore it, any citizen of Thebes who couldn't find a loophole in that geas would shame their city."

The wolf laughed. "True. That is where she got her reputation you see. Several of our more disreputable kin decided that since she couldn't kill them, she'd make an easy target. She showed them that death is not the worst fate that a witch can deal out."

Alexis looked between the two and shook her head. "That sounds like a tale in itself."

"Not really," Helena said. "They showed up, made some demands, and I gave them piles with a promise to work my way up if they didn't apologize immediately. They did." She frowned. "As for the geas itself... that is a story, but I am forbidden from telling it." She wouldn't break that trust. Ever.

The two seemed mildly disappointed at her proclamation, but let the matter lie. The wolf scratched behind his ear, then turned back to where they were headed before being ambushed. "Well, in that case I shall tell my story. It goes back many years, when I was a young wolf, just barely more than a pup. We had gathered in a pack for the feasting times, and the hunting had been good. We were considering a new hunt when my sister told us of a party of humans she had seen that had wandered into our realm..."

They walked on as the wolf told his story. Apparently a rather vicious boyar had decided to hunt the beggars in his domain. He was chasing a young man, when the whole group had accidentally strayed into the fae realms. The beggar ran off the path, and the boyar and his men followed. The wolves, amused by such interesting prey, and spurred on by the irony hunted the hunters one by one, until at last only the beggar and the boyar were left. In the end their guide pulled the boyar from his horse, before letting the hunted man and the boyar's horse get back to the path and flee into the Black Forest again.

"The young man fled from us as fast as his new horse would carry him. And that is the last time me and my pack saw the man. But the ravens came and told us that the boy fled many miles to the next town, whose leader had died of plague. And seeing his fine steed they took him as their new lord, because who but a noble would have such a good horse?" The wolf growled a chuckle. "And the man ruled wisely and well, since unlike his predecessor, he knew how to farm, and cared about the people. And he never turned a beggar away without at least a bite to eat."

Alexis clapped at the end of the tale. "An excellent story, and if I may say so, a very just one as well." Helena had noticed Alexis' wariness towards their guide subsiding along the way, and apparently his similar moral outlook had thawed the rest of her fears. "A fitting end for a black hearted man, and a fair break for his poor victim."

"That justice was done makes the hunt sweeter to those like my pack," the wolf said with pride. "Though I am a bit surprised you are so happy to hear of a noble being brought low. Most nobles I have met find sudden reversals of fortune worrisome."

"While I admit I would not want a sudden change in my family's fortunes, I believe the world would be a better place if nobles faced more justice in this world than the next," Alexis said with a sigh. "I am not so naive to think that our wars and manipulations are always righteous or even reasonable."

Helena raised an eyebrow. "While I don't want to curb your idealism too much, justice is not as open and shut as you might think it is."

Alexis looked quizzically at her. "How so? Is it not just bringing God's truth to earth?"

"I grew up with different gods then you," Helena said simply.

"Maybe you should switch?" Alexis said. Helena sniffed in response.

The wolf coughed. "As interesting as this debate might be, I fear we have another matter to address. Our journey is coming to an end."

"Eh?" Alexis and Helena looked around. Sure enough the forest's colors were becoming more subdued, the trees looking more flawed, and the calling insects were more erratic.

A few more steps and suddenly they were no longer in Fairie. A wide dirt road stood before them, and in the distance there was a sizable village, a small but well-tended manor sitting on its edge.

Alexis clasped her hands together and smiled. "Strausfen town. I'm home."

Helena bowed to their guide. "Thank you for leading us. I'll do my best to make sure you learn the rest of our tale."

Alexis remembered their guide as well and curtsied to the wolf. "Indeed, you have my thanks. I'm certain you have no need of my blessings to hunt these lands, but you have it none the less."

The wolf's tail thumped heavily against the ground. "It was my pleasure. And while I would hunt no matter what, your blessing is appreciated. May you two find good hunting as well." The wolf stood and shook itself off, then faded back into the darkening forest.

"Ah," Alexis gasped. "I never apologized to him for doubting his sincerity."

"It's fine," Helena said. "Wolves like it when people find them threatening. They're predators after all, no matter how civil." Somewhat like magicians in that regard, though for different reasons.

Helena looked around the forest. "Now, let's get you home so we can start hunting ourselves."

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