《Desolada》20. Recursion (III)
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“Paimon is one of the oldest and most clever of the Goetia," said Sensi. "He has three recorded appearances in the cards. This scene depicts him standing victorious over the last of the angels that protected this world. The white background symbolizes the moon. Though Paimon killed the last angel he is not considered an enemy of mankind. Some say he views himself as a sort of overseer of this world but, again, that is simply an attempt to make sense of him in our terms. By slaying the angel he ensured no more divine immortals stood against the Goetia.”
“So what does this have to do with me?” I said. “You said that these cards change what they show based on the person they are being read for? I’m having trouble interpreting anything good out of this.”
“I never promised you anything good.”
“Why Paimon? The demon told me that its master is Astaroth.”
Sensi tapped the card with one finger. "I also never promised that the reading would be completely accurate. Divination is widely considered a false science but that is not always the case. Especially in a place like this, made from karmic magic. If you have no real reason to suspect Paimon is involved, the simplest explanation is that it is a complete mistake. That would be best, since two demon lords being focused on this location does not bode well."
I bit the knuckle of my thumb. "Paimon is called the Lord of the Void? Brother Augur taught me a mental technique called the memory palace. When I made mine, there was a room inside that contained some sort of presence. When I opened the door there was nothing, just an emptiness, and the sensation of being watched. I think you could call that a void."
“That was Paimon, then, watching you,” Sensi crossed and uncrossed her legs. “He was observing you in the Mental Realm. As you have discovered it is not a safe place for the likes of us. Our minds are weak and unguarded. There are beings like the Goetia that have mastered the landscapes of consciousness. To them it is only natural to dominate a lesser mind.”
I had some idea what the Mental Realm was at this point. I was tempted to ask what she knew, but she started speaking again before I could. Philosophers do like to hear themselves talk.
"You said Brother Augur taught you a mental technique? I have never known him to take an apprentice or teach anyone in general. As a show of respect he is allowed to stay within the Gardens despite not being involved at all. What is this memory palace? And why did he accept you?"
Her sudden interest in Augur caught me off guard---she thought that was more important than my revelation about Paimon? I also felt reluctant to reveal his secrets to someone else, but on the other hand Sensi had provided me with valuable information. Augur never told me not to keep the technique a secret, and I had already tried to teach my friends without a second thought. Though calling Mara and Caedius my friends seemed like a cruel joke now.
I told Sensi the truth: that I did not know why Augur expressed interest in me. I came with no recommendation and not a particularly grand first impression. The ease of which he accepted me struck me as generous from the little I knew about entrance to the philosophers. While there were no standardized tests involved in the selection of acolytes, full philosophers were considered among society's elite. The only answer seemed to be that he could sense my power, though I did not tell her about that.
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She seemed uninterested in that response, but her attention became apparent when I explained the principles behind the memory palace. To my surprise she also did not appear as capable of visualization as myself. I spent the next fifteen minutes fumbling through an explanation of how to associate concepts with images to make memorization easy. I kept silent about the strange library in my room that recorded my knowledge. If similar things existed in her memory palace, she would discover them.
When I finished, Sensi thanked me. "Speaking to you was an excellent decision. I will have to explore this on my own time. I do not think this technique is dangerous as long as you keep your mind confined to the specific memory palace. Paimon could not intrude on you without an invitation. I wonder, do you happen to have any insight on the tesseract?"
"I've been thinking about what to call the time loop that restores everything to its original shape. Recursion, maybe? So the tesseract is related to time somehow." I thought of the network of silver threads composing the barrier. "It could even be made out of time itself, twisted in some way. I've heard about some occult branch of mathematics known as dimensionalism. Maybe it's related to that. I tried to read about it but none of it made sense to me. Just pages of formula."
"Your education is rather skewed," she said. "You have not learned many of the basic tenets of magic but you have seen books on dimensionalism? That's a forbidden subject since understanding it requires knowledge only the Goetia can bestow. Where would you learn such a thing?"
I read it in Lakken's library but again I wondered how many secrets I should reveal. The philosophers clearly did not freely exchange knowledge among their peers. "I would rather not say."
She stared for several seconds before nodding. "Well, I suppose you have already been generous enough with information already. There is one last thing it appears you are not aware of, though I am not certain how you could have reached this point without knowing. The philosopher sect of Odena is completely compromised. The entire city is riddled with so much demonic activity it is a miracle Vasely has not decimated the populace. Even he may be involved."
I heard what she said without registering it at first. "You said you're an Echo of one of the Archons. You still chose the Goetia's side?"
"I am an old woman." She ran a hand along her hairbun, which was devoid of grey. "My limits were reached some time ago. I am wealthy beyond any real material needs. At this point, my life continuing is an endless plateau. Giving up everything and starting a new life elsewhere is a waste of my energy. But the corruption is already so deep, why not cast my lots with the demons? The Goetia may grant wishes and powers to take me further than I could otherwise. I admit it, I am selfish. Are you not?"
"I have not made any deal with any of the Goetia, if that's what you're asking," I said.
"Then that means they are the ones pursuing you," she said. "Even if you are trapped here, that means you have some power to bargain. Do not give into temptation unless it is completely necessary. But in the end, if you can break everyone out of here, I would be entirely in your debt."
That seemed like another unwelcome burden. "Is Paimon able to do that?"
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"His exact ranking in the demon hierarchy is unknown. Different sources say different things. But they all agree he is a frightening individual if he was able to slay the last angel. The void is a bizarre power and a lot of what we know about it seems very contradictory." Sensi collected her cigarette holder from the table. "Now, if you don't mind, I would like to meditate on what you told me. I would invite you and your friend to stay, but maintaining this area becomes more difficult the more people that are here. I could afford to keep you but I can't justify Felix."
"I'll stay with him, then," I said. "Can we at least remain here until he wakes up?"
"Of course," she said.
It took several hours for Felix to return to a lucid enough state that I felt comfortable going back outside. Sensi meditated in the lotus position, eyes closed. I did the same, mulling over what she had told me, unable to slip into a true meditative trance.
Her refusal to house us seemed annoying, but she promised Amelie in Yellow was not any more dangerous than her suite. That seemed like a brazen lie but I had no real claim to her home in the first place. Felix knew when he wasn't wanted and was happy to leave. Most of the bloodshed had ended ages ago, and no one saw any need to harass newcomers.
She did redeem herself in some small way by feeding us. The suite was not stocked with a grand feast, but the hearty meal of soft bread, cheese, cured meat, and olives was more than sufficient. The water was stale but given the circumstances even thinking about it seemed petulant.
When we indicated we were ready to leave, Sensi materialized the black door again. This time, I reached out with my fledgling awareness, and could sense some faint fluctuations of power as she worked her magic.
Before we left, Sensi pulled me aside to say one last thing. She spoke too softly for Felix to overhear. "I may be mistaken, but I suspect even your father was involved in this. I assumed that is why Archon Nony killed him. This started before you were born and somehow you came to be involved. Everything is connected."
"You knew I'm Jansen's son?" I said, shouldering my pack.
“I knew since the first moment I saw you,” said Sensi.“You have his jaw and his eyes. If I needed any more confirmation, I saw the look on your face when you saw my fireplace. Velassan children are all scared of fire to some degree. They grew up with stories about how Archon Nony can peer through any flame to watch them. And, of course, I was deeply sorry to hear of your father's passing.”
“Will you tell me about him?”
“He could be frightening sometimes. It was all in those eyes. But overall he was a great man. One of those people that left a mark on everyone he touched. We were sad to see him go, especially when he joined the war on the Frontier. Whatever he saw there must have changed him, but even afterwards he was still a very special person."
"Thank you," I said.
Then Felix and I headed back through the door.
* * *
Amelie in Yellow looked the same as before. People had switched positions but they all still wore the same dour expressions. The demon remained in the center of the room, though it had ceased its writing. It sat there with its eyes closed. Was it meditating?
Felix had remained silent most of the time in the suite, but now that we were out he had some choice words about Sensi. I nodded along, not really paying attention.
Now would be the best time to reveal some of my powers to Felix. My time magic could be kept a secret for now, since it was useless within the tesseract. If everyone told the truth before it came to this point, perhaps this could have been avoided, but being the only honest person among liars would be a dangerous naivete.
"What are we supposed to do?" said Felix.
I placed a hand against the wall. "I feel like I can sense the barrier around us now. Maybe if I can find out more about it, we can discover how to escape."
Closing my eyes, I reached out with my awareness. The cocoon of silver threads materialized around me. That could not be exactly how the barrier looked; it was, after all, a mental image conjured by my mind to symbolize the energy I sensed. It was still a useful representation.
Again I detected something coming from the Captain, but this time it seemed a little more detailed. Instead of threads, an evershifting knot of silver rotated around the demon.
I looked closer, deeper. Threads no wider than a hair connected the boundary toward the knot of time energy. Could the demon be a time magician as well? If Astaroth was capable of producing the tesseract then he could make Echoes of Time. And in that case...was I one of them? Had my memories been altered so that I forgot making an oath with Astaroth? The thought of someone playing with my mind enraged me.
My anger sharpened my senses, allowing to me to see a level deeper. The time knot did not originate from the demon. It came from the ivory sword impaled in its chest. The Captain had its own grey swirl of energy that made Sensi's tremor of magic seem pitiful in comparison, but the storm emitted from the sword dwarfed it completely.
The sword must be some sort of divine artifact. One of Astaroth's personal treasures? That meant it was the keystone of this barrier. The only problem was how useless that knowledge was. I would never get the sword out of the Captain's chest, and even if I did, could I even destroy such a powerful object?
I opened my eyes, ending the visualization.
"The tesseract is powered by that sword," I said.
"Since when were you able to tell something like that?" Felix bit his lip. "Did you make a pact with Astaroth?"
"I only just developed this ability," I said. "I think most of it comes from how Brother Augur taught me to create a memory palace. Sensi mentioned the Mental Realm to me. I think that is what I'm experiencing."
He laughed bitterly. "Great. Something that I can't do at all. I can't visualize a thing."
I placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him until he made sustained eye contact. "Well, I'm here, and I can do it. You can also do things I can't. You don't have to be able to do everything by yourself, Felix. Together we can figure this out and escape."
His face became very serious. "Yes, we can."
I had meant the words to be placating. But after saying them I suspected they may actually be true.
The demon sat in the center of the room, its eyes still closed. That sword...something about it felt so familiar.
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