Chapter 5: Ruined ruins ruin the tall peeps, making them rue in not running from the ruins. Oh, and they pick up a fork.

So. Sitting in these ruins. Well, more lying, really. Well, can one really lie down if one cannot stand in the first place? Either way, I am currently in a horizontal position on the floor. And, of course, I can’t move. Thus, I am deep underground and unless I can somehow resurrect and control this robot I’m inside the head of, I’m not going anywhere. Yeah… that’s not happening. Anyway, let’s get out of this robot.

My absorb skill evolved, so I can absorb things… 15mm, or 1.5 cm away from me. Better than 0. May as well absorb as much of this thing as I can, so I start by absorbing the metal around me in a hemisphere upwards. Well, to be exact, it’s less spherical and more fork shaped-ish. After all, if 1.2cm lines were drawn from every point of a fork - pardon the pun - in every direction, there would be gaps and bumps in the shape produced. Well, after absorbing the material above me, I absorb the stuff below until I hit the ground. Well well well, looks like the luck is already paying off. Or is it because I absorbed much more of something that usual? Maybe both.

Mithril alloy absorbed

Experience gained: 50

Durability recovered: 10 (exceeds maximum durability, reducing to 0)

Skill proficiency increased: Absorb 0.1%

Skills gained: None

Traits gained: Magic Metal (Overwrites trait – Wooden)

Hmm. Let’s see what this one does.

Status

Name: None

Race: Living Fork

Level: 5

Experience: 473.27/600

Gender: None

Age: 8 months (local time)

Allegiance: None

Fame: None

Strength: 1.0 (10.0)

Intelligence: 12.0

Dexterity: 1.0

Wisdom: 12.5

Charisma: 3.0

Luck: 10.1

Hardness: 18.4

Durability: 10.0/10.0

Mana: 240/240

Mana regen: 2.50/min

Unspent stat points: 0

Titles

Traits

Wooden (Ash) – You are made of wood, and are moderately susceptible to fire, insects and rot.

Life energy absorption (Average) – life energy heals you, causing you to regain durability.

Death energy weakness (Average) – death energy damages you, reducing your durability.

Life affinity (Minute) – You find it easier to gain life related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Negative death affinity (Minute) – You find it harder to gain death related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Fame gain reduction (Minor) – The amount of fame you gain is reduced.

Presence reduction (Small +1) – Others are less likely to notice you.

50% Fame added to racial fame – The fame of your race is equal to 50% of your fame plus the added fame of all other members of the species divided by the number of members in your species.

Life presence reduction (Moderate) – Others are less likely to notice that you are alive.

Taste enhancement (Minute) – All food that touches you tastes slightly better.

Piercing enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – It is slightly easier for you to pierce food.

Carry capacity enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – You can carry slightly more food than appearances would suggest.

Mana touched (Minor) – Mana permeates your body, changing it in some ways.

Herculean Strength (Large) – In possession of the ability to exert strength far beyond that of your peers. Multiplies base strength (Before using passive or active skills) by 10.

Structured sanity (Moderate) – a well-structured mind is a strong mind. You are resistant to mind affecting or altering affects, such as fear, charm and hypnosis.

Magic metal – You have gained the properties of the magic metal, Mithril. Your body conducts mana at twice the normal rate. Your passive mana absorption is doubled. Your maximum mana is now equal to Intelligence multiplied by 20 instead of Intelligence multiplied by 10. Your maximum durability is increased by your maximum mana divided by 100. Your hardness is increased by max mana divided by 100.

Skills

Well, that’s not OP at all. Well, it would be, if I could move and use magic. And that structured sanity… obtaining that must be what broke me out of my insanity. If I hadn’t hit this robot… I might have kept absorbing the ground in my insanity, until I burst into flame from the heat when I got close to the mantle.

Hey, that’s actually a method of suicide that might work? Better not risk it. After all, in a world of magic, there might not be a mantle. Gravity might be constant throughout depth because magic or something, and then what would I do? Stuck at the core, unable to do anything but constantly absorb earth. Could I eventually consume the entire planet doing that?

Better not try.

Moving on from that, what do I do now? Well, I suppose what I always do, eat things that touch me and watch swirly balls of mana. And how far can I see now, you might ask? 75m in all directions. Not too shabby. Of course, it would be better if my vision wasn’t like that of a colour-blind old man’s, but you take what you can get.

But speaking of my sight, with that 75m of vision, I can see the surface, and a bit above… I think. I can’t actually see the boundaries of my vision unless there is something with mana there. Otherwise, there is no difference between the blackness inside my vision and the blackness outside of it. In fact, this is quite like what I imagine being in deep space would be like.

A black abyss of space surrounding me in all directions, interrupted only by the myriad specks of light above and beneath me, like the countless stars, coupled with the feeling of helplessness as I am unable to move by my own will. Well, it was more like space at the start, when I couldn’t even see the ground.

The day moves on, presumably, though I can’t tell any difference. Another robot comes along and picks up the unmoving chassis around me. What does it look like? I dunno, it’s a block of white to me. I just know it’s a bot because of the notifications.

Well, this is interesting. There’s some people up on the surface. A group of 5. Oh hey, they found the cave. And they found my fork shaped hole down to here. Yeah, that must look real weird. They’re looking at it. Would be great if they came down here. Yeah. Hey, they’re dropping something down! Hey, wait – Ow. Not that I can feel pain, that’s just a leftover instinct from my last life.

So, it’s some sort of stick thing. Maybe a torch? Flare? I dunno, I can’t see light, just looks like a stick. They kind of take turns looking down. I’d say, ‘just jump down please’, but the hole is tiny. And I can’t talk. Aww, they’re leaving…

And they’re back! With shovels! Probably. Again, they look like long sticks to me. But they are making movements like a shovel, and the earth is being moved like a shovel. Maybe metals don’t have mana in them?

Can confirm, the sticks are shovels. They’ve been coated in - presumably - dirt, so I can see them. Where are they up to? About half way down. It’s a pretty wide hole, and they’re using a bucket -likely wooden, since I can see it - on a rope to haul out the dirt, and they climb out using that same rope. Wonder if they’ll pick me up?

One thing I didn’t factor into my expectations: They were digging down directly above me, which of course means that when they get through the ceiling some collapses on me. I’m now buried in dirt. They aren’t looking this way? They aren’t. Absorb. I now have a very strange area free of dirt around me. Unnatural? What are you talking about, just pick up the fork.

They noticed me. I think. They’re looking in my general direction, at least. They are walking towards me. Oh, the excitement! One picked me up! And put me in his bag, but hey, you take what you can get, I’m outta here! One of those bots is coming, hope they don’t die. That would really suck.

The brightness of one of them dims slightly as his mana rushes towards his palm, forming into a ball which shoots towards the approaching robot. It barely slows, but it gives the others time to draw their weapons. Not that I can see them. They dash around it, flanking it on three sides from a short distance away. The last guy? Baggage carrier.

Surrounded, you’d think that would be it, right? I mean, special mithril alloy and all, but it was half their size! But no. Two of them attack from opposite sides, something which anything organic would have a great deal of trouble with. But this is a robot. It beautifully stops the two attacks, which I can’t see, with its two arms. The person behind it attacks with this timing, believing it to be completely open.

He is mistaken. The upper body of the robot spins 180 degrees, flinging the weapons still in contact with its arms to either side as it moves them to parry the attack. Is it a difficult enemy for them? I don’t know, probably? Is it impossible? Nope.

The three jump back as the mage tosses a ball of highly compressed mana, which proceeds to land upon and expand to engulf the robot. It looks no different, other than its mana having dimmed a little, but its movements become erratic and illogical. It is swiftly beaten down with some precise jabs. I think. Again, can’t see their weapons.

Hip, Hip, Hooray and all that, but there’s another 5 speeding down the corridor connected to this one you know? Apparently hearing something, one of them looks in that direction, opens their mouth (shouting, I suppose?) and points in that direction. The others looked just in time to see the robots round the corner. Sparing no time at all, the group rush up the rope. With me in their bag. Finally!

So here we are, floor of the cave. The five who picked me up are sitting on the ground, probably resting or talking. The bag man takes me out of his pack. They all sit around staring at me. Hey now, don’t look at me like that, I’m getting flashbacks to the goblin. You aren’t going to just chuck me away, now are you? Oh, back in the bag. Good enough for me. Up another rope and, hello surface! It’s been a while! Thinking back, I’ve spent more time in that cave then up here. How depressing.

But! That’s all over now. I’m back on the surface again, and I ain’t goin’ back. Well, not unless I possess the means to leave myself. Or if someone just chucks me down there, but let’s not think about that. Hey, it looks like we’re setting off. Hope we’re going somewhere with good food.

Let’s see, I need light-based sight, vibration-based hearing, smell and taste, well I don’t really NEED them, but they’d be good… a sense of pain? Might be better to avoid it. I mean it’s great for biologicals, but as a fork, I won’t be subject to diseases, poisons and the like, so I shouldn’t need it. Other than that, I need to be able to talk. Whether that’s with a mouth, some sort of vibration magic or telepathy, I really want to be able to talk again.

You have no idea how lonely I feel like this. In my past life, I wasn’t exactly a social butterfly either. I never took the initiative to talk, but even so, think about it: you always have some sort of human contact, right? Whether that’s commenting on some person’s live stream, arguing against a troll, there’s always some sort of conversation every once in a while. But here… even if I was surrounded by a million people, I wouldn’t be able to communicate with a single one, even if I wanted to. It’s the difference between choosing solitude and being forced into it. It’s stifling, to say the least.

Dang, I’d be crying right now… if I had tear ducts.

Moving on, what’s happening on the outside world? More travelling, huh? Let’s take a look around. Trees, trees, dirt, more trees, more dirt, squirrel, trees, squirrels in trees, I think those are rabbits, some blobs, antelopes, trees, dirt, boulders… fun stuff.

Hm? Something strange mixed in with the previous sentence you say? What are the blobs you say? Ah yes, the blobs. The blobs? What ARE the blobs? Well I suppose they could be misshapen rocks… They’re changing shape weirdly, so no. I suppose they could be the slimes I’ve eaten so much of.

Seriously, what is with that? Isn’t the whole thing of slimes that they’re highly acidic? You’d die, you know? Your stomach would dissolve, and… Things would happen? Like, would it just eat away at your body, or wouldn’t it flow down the… existing passages, dissolving as they go? The only reason I’m able to think about this without cringing is that I don’t have those organs anymore.

So, let’s just assume they’re slimes for now. The slimes are slowly… What would you call the movement of a sentient gel-like substance? Sliming? Oozing? Rolling? Let’s go with ooze, ooze is a cool word. You don’t often get the oo sound in words, and you don’t get a z often either. Ooze.

Back to the slimes, they’re oozing along the ground in the forest in random directions about 20m away. Can they not see us? Well, seeing how I got mana sight from them, they probably see using that too? And I can’t imagine that they would have high INT and WIS, so maybe they can only see a few meters? Wait, if those stats are around, say, 3 apiece, and they only had the basic skill, they couldn’t be able to see more than two meters.

Slimes are more blind than bats! Whacky. Well, they are conveniently, or inconveniently depending on your view, 20m away, but directly in our current direction of travel, so there’ll be more combat. I don’t suppose I’ll be used as a weapon, will I?

Oh well. Speaking of that, if somebody uses me to kill something, who gets the EXP? Does it go to me, the being that directly impacted the enemy, or the person holding me who provided the force required? Would it be different to what would happen if someone slammed somebody into someone else, thereby killing them? What would happen if the person being slammed died? Would the person doing the slamming or the person being slammed into get the EXP? Oh, they’ve already killed the slimes.

Looks like I got distracted. Oops. Oh well, it wasn’t like I wanted to see it for anything other than its entertainment value… what are they doing with the dead slimes? They’re putting them into containers… are you planning to eat that later? No processing or anything? I wonder if they’re high on something?

Given my luck, they probably are. And they’ll probably end up killed by something, and me end up on the forest floor. Better than the cave floor I suppose, much more wildlife and chance of people coming by.

I do hope I can get some movement or hearing skill or trait soon. I can’t expect to get them from normal animals, because their senses are related to their biology and thus as a fork without any such biological capabilities, it is unlikely that I would be able to acquire them. So how can a being without sensory organs see, hear and speak? Umm… magic? Is there anything else? I really don’t know enough about this world…

Looks like it’s meal time. Ugh, what are you doing, slathering that slime all over the meat. Hey, do they already have forks? I hope not. Look at me! I’m much prettier than your forks! Use me! Yes! One of them is searching the bag I’m in! No, what are you doing, you just moved that in front of me, I was right on the top! You’ve literally checked everywhere EXCEPT where I am, how is that even possible? FINALLY! He finds me and takes me from the bag. Looks like he’s showing off his new fork.

Well, I do have exceptionally high charisma for a fork. Assuming my starting 0.3 is standard, and that is indeed what charisma does… But if it is, this fork is absolutely fabulous compared to its past self. Did that sound gay? Oh well, I’m genderless so I can’t be gay! Yay for not having to worry about sounding sexist or homosexual!

Although, I’m a fork, so nobody would expect me to have a sexual orientation? Do I have a sexual orientation? Wait, I don’t have those pheromone things, so doesn’t that mean that I am attracted to neither gender? Wait, I’m a fork, why am I worrying about sexual orientation when it would make zero difference in my life?

Wait, isn’t it meal time? I almost forgot to eat!

Grey ooze and elk meat, huh? Wait, wasn’t hunting deer a royal thing, and other people doing it was poaching? Are elks deer, or just similar species? Are these guys poachers? Is there royalty here? Wait, forget that guff, I’m in another world, common sense from the previous one isn’t useful here.

Level seven and ten respectively, no skills or traits, the ooze gave me 0.04% proficiency for mana sight. I suppose if the oozes/slimes have basic mana sight, I might be getting less proficiency because mine is at a higher level?

I really need to stop getting side-tracked. Oh wait, no I don’t, I have nothing else to pass the time with. I really wish I could move.

It looks like they’re sleeping now. How fun for me. Of course, they are taking turns keeping watch, we are in a world with monsters after all. And I’m assuming that bundle of sticks is a fire. If only I could see light…

Can some monsters attack please? Can something happen? Ideally, I would like a very small and high level monster to fall directly into the pack on top of me. That’d be great. Please? Of course not. If luck was a currency, I’d have spent all mine landing on that robot while digging, while insane. Seriously, what are the chances of there being some sort of ancient ruin directly below that cave, and there being a robot directly below where I was digging?

Probably miniscule. If that’s commonplace in this world, this world is crazy. So, what will I use to pass the time tonight? How bout I just count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

… 7326, 7327, 7328, Oh look, they’re getting up. Morning huh? Well, that’s assuming they aren’t nocturnal. Well, doesn’t matter whether they are or not to me, I don’t sleep at all. Wish I had something practical to do while there’s nothing happening. Y’know, some form of training, or a book. If I could train, I would be much more efficient than biologicals, the whole ‘don’t need to sleep, eat or take breaks’ thing.

Hey, do they have breakfast? I want them to have breakfast. And I want it to require a fork. Have I thought this before? I’m getting a slight déjà vu vibe here. It looks like they indeed have breakfast here. Of course, it may not be called breakfast here. We might not even speak the same language. Are there skills for language?

Well, I don’t have one for English, so I suppose not. Hey, here’s an interesting question: If there were language skills, would it be recognised as ‘English’ or something else like ‘American’ because most of the people who speak the language are from there? Are they? Now I wish I had google again. Or if the people here have the same language, would it be called English or something else?

I wish my reincarnation came with an auto-translate function. You know why I know I don’t? No skill for it. Now, back to food.

More elk meat and, what’s this? Variant grey ooze, id ooze? That’s cool and all, but could you give me a skill? Variants sound like they would have good skills. So, one of those oozes they killed earlier was a variant? I wonder if they noticed. I hope they have more of that, I want rare skills. But at the same time, stop eating it, acid is bad for you. Except for, you know, the weak acid in your saliva and the acid already present in your stomach.

This forest is large. We’ve travelled for maybe half a day, and still no end to the trees. Hey, I hope we aren’t going in circles. They know where they’re going, right? How sucky would that be, them dying of lack of food or water because they can’t find the way out of the forest? And then I’d be on the forest floor again. Hey, if I fell tines down on a big rock and was careful with my absorb, could I become the fork in the stone?

Oh yeah, fun fact about my vision? It’s centred on me. What I mean, precisely, is that its rotation is fixed to mine. I’m currently vertical in this backpack, so to my right is the ground, and these people look like ninjas casually walking up a cliff face. In other words, when I’m dropped, or the person carrying this bag turns around, my vision rapidly spins. Truly a vomit-inducing experience, were I still human.

It’s confusing, too. Imagine looking up, and you’re looking at the ground. Well, you can do that if you are upside-down as a human too… But in my case the blood doesn’t rush to my head and I don’t have those ear canal things to track balance, so I have to visually confirm that I am the wrong way up, rather than instinctively knowing.

A meal? Sure. Can I haz skills? Yes? Excellent. Wait, yes?

Fluid of lvl 12 Grey ooze variant: id ooze absorbed

Experience gained: 27.62

Durability recovered: 2.03 (Exceeds maximum durability, reducing to 0.0)

Skill proficiency increased: Absorb 0.1%

Skills gained: Telepathy (basic)

Traits gained: Psychic

Window will close in 18s

Well, well, well, this is interesting. can I finally talk now? Let’s take a look. Status, skills, traits.

Status

Name: None

Race: Living Fork

Level: 5

Experience: 515.37/600

Gender: None

Age: 8 months (local time)

Allegiance: None

Fame: None

Strength: 1.0 (10.0)

Intelligence: 12.0

Dexterity: 1.0

Wisdom: 12.5

Charisma: 3.0

Luck: 10.1

Hardness: 18.4

Durability: 10.0/10.0

Mana: 240/240

Mana regen: 2.50/min

Psi: 125/125

Psi regen: 1.2/min

Unspent stat points: 0

Titles

Traits

Wooden (Ash) – You are made of wood, and are moderately susceptible to fire, insects and rot.

Life energy absorption (Average) – life energy heals you, causing you to regain durability.

Death energy weakness (Average) – death energy damages you, reducing your durability.

Life affinity (Minute) – You find it easier to gain life related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Negative death affinity (Minute) – You find it harder to gain death related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Fame gain reduction (Minor) – The amount of fame you gain is reduced.

Presence reduction (Small +1) – Others are less likely to notice you.

50% Fame added to racial fame – The fame of your race is equal to 50% of your fame plus the added fame of all other members of the species divided by the number of members in your species.

Life presence reduction (Moderate) – Others are less likely to notice that you are alive.

Taste enhancement (Minute) – All food that touches you tastes slightly better.

Piercing enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – It is slightly easier for you to pierce food.

Carry capacity enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – You can carry slightly more food than appearances would suggest.

Mana touched (Minor) – Mana permeates your body, changing it in some ways.

Herculean Strength (Large) – In possession of the ability to exert strength far beyond that of your peers. Multiplies base strength (Before using passive or active skills) by 10.

Structured sanity (Moderate) – a well-structured mind is a strong mind. You are resistant to mind affecting or altering affects, such as fear, charm and hypnosis.

Magic metal – You have gained the properties of the magic metal, Mithril. Your body conducts mana at twice the previous rate. Your passive mana absorption is now equal to wisdom/5/min instead of wisdom/10/min. Your maximum mana is now equal to Intelligence multiplied by 20 instead of Intelligence multiplied by 10. Your maximum durability is increased by your maximum mana divided by 100. Your hardness is increased by max mana divided by 100.

Psychic – You have unlocked the hidden potential of your mind. Stat unlock: psi.

Skills

Absorb (Advanced) (Racial, Low Unique) 0.6% - Allows the absorption of energy, or substances through the surface of the body or at a distance of (Int*Wis)/10mm. Rate of absorption can be controlled. Although this ability is magical in nature, as it is a form of mana control, and mana is also absorbed, mana cost is 0. Currently the only form of energy able to be absorbed is mana. Absorbing substances has a minor chance of giving traits, abilities and skills relating to the substance.

Mana sight (Advanced) (High Rare, Passive/toggled) 0.75% - You are capable of seeing smaller congregations of mana than before within (Intelligence*Wisdom)/2m. Their forms are now more distinct, but still blurred.

Self-repair (Basic) (Low Rare, Active) 3.26% - By expending an energy type, you can repair your own durability and recover your original form. Current energies able to be used: mana. Exchange ratio: 10 mana: 0.1 durability

Telepathy (Basic) (Mid Rare, Active) 0.00% - Allows one to communicate with other beings in exchange for 1 Psi/sec*distance between user and target in meters, to a maximum range of (Wisdom*Intelligence)/10m. Currently only able to communicate emotions.

So I can’t talk yet. Damn. Well, at least this gives me something to train in. It would probably be best to practice on small animals and the like, right? Wouldn’t want to accidentally cause a stampede of boars or something if I accidentally transmitted fear to them, right? Or freak out the people carrying me with unexplainably fluctuating emotions.

I hope I’m not this unbelievably chatty and distracted when I get to talk to them. Speaking, or rather, thinking, of that, I should start thinking about what I should, or should not, say to them…