Chapter Fifteen - A Desperate Motion

“Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like today if the prevailing culture better reflected the values I hold highest.

Honestly, that would probably not be the best for me, but I wouldn’t mind seeing that kind of world, despite the risk.”

***

I reluctantly set aside the book I was reading--A history of the Empire, though it read more like a long list of humble brags delivered by someone called the Jade Emperor--and stood up while slipping the tome into a pocket.

Alex was dusting the empty shelves, where removing all the books had revealed a few lines of dust. With a stray thought, I extinguished the Mage Lights keeping the room illuminated and allowed the light of the sun outside to bathe the room in a warm orange glow. “I do believe that it’s nearly time for us to set out,” I said.

Alex paused in his duties. “Oh? Okay Bone Papa. Should I get Test Subject Limpet?”

“Hrm, yes, I suppose. I’ll be waiting out by the front gate.”

Stepping outside into the chill morning was surprisingly refreshing. I took a moment to stretch a little--always important to do before setting out on a walk--then took in the courtyard. A few of the buildings had holes in them that hadn’t been there the evening before, but there were no other signs of violence.

No scattered body parts or human remains staining the ground. I suspected that if I were to look in the shed at the back I would find a few more corded disciples left there by Alex. He was surprisingly dutiful. Though... perhaps surprising wasn’t the right term for that. It was what he was made for, after all.

“M-master?”

I turned and found the limpet standing next to one of the sliding doors this sect was so fond of. She was wearing a loose silken outfit that covered her from neck to ankles with a large tunic belted by the waist. It seemed as if sleepwear had changed a little in my time asleep.

“Hello, limpet,” I said. “Are you ready to go?”

The girl blinked a few times. She had some rather large bags under her eyes. Looking up, she scanned the sky, then blinked even more. “It’s morning?” she asked.

“Quite obviously, yes,” I said.

Her eyes widened. “I forgot to sleep!”

“You forgot to sleep?” I asked.

She hugged something close to her chest--a book, I realized. “I was reading.”

“Ah, of course.” Perfectly natural, that. “Well, we’re heading out in a moment.”

The girl swallowed, her attention falling to somewhere near my feet. She shifted from side to side. “Can, can I come with you? I know I’m not very strong, and that I’m kind of dumb, but I learned a lot from you and... I’m being selfish aren’t I?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll make use of you soon enough,” I said.

The limpet’s face reddened, but soon she replaced that with a look of determination. “If-if that’s what it takes!”

I loathed to imagine what she had misunderstood. “Go get dressed, unless you’ll be walking with us barefoot the entire way.”

“Oh, right!” The limpet ran off, feet thumping along on the strange flooring they used here until she was off and away.

I shook my head and continued my ambling voyage to the front gate. A mental call had all the remaining skeletons around the compound dropping their work to gather near me in neat rows. There were only a dozen left. No doubt preventing invaders from sneaking in had taken its toll. Surprisingly, there were only six Shades remaining. The will-o’-wisps were all fine, though.

I tapped my chin as I considered what to do. Moving about with an army behind me was usually very pleasant. It was a great way to avoid a great number of bureaucratic issues. No travel papers? No problem if you had an army.

I’d heard someone say that the only two certainties in life were death and taxes.

Obviously they had never tried applying an army of the undead to those trying to collect those taxes.

The problem was that this force was too small to count as anything of the sort, and too weak besides.

Alex soon joined me, a large backpack filled with clanking utensils and pots and I-could-only-guess-what hanging off of his back. “Are we ready, Papa?”

I hummed. “I suppose we are,” I said. “Hopefully this trip will be profitable.”

“I’m sure it will be,” Alex said.

I shrugged. In the worse case, I’d lose some time. A few days compared to an immortal life was no big loss in the end, but the inefficiency still irked me. I was aware that I should have still been asleep at that moment, and that any other activity was just superfluous. It would still bother me.

Being aware of one’s hypocrisy is important, I always found.

“What are you carrying there?” I asked. I could always stuff it away for travel.

“Food and cooking implements, as well as a few tools of my trade,” Alex said. “It’s not heavy, and shouldn't encumber me if we need to fight.”

“Very well then,” I said.

I eyed the skeletons again, then made up my mind. They’d come with us to serve as a sort of guard. Maybe the limpet could practice against some of them as we travelled.

Speaking of, the sound of sandals clacking and paws thumping the ground announced the arrival of the limpet. “I’m ready!” she said.

I eyed her up and down for a moment. She was wearing a belted tunic with a large checkered shawl over her shoulders. Her satchel was by her hip and she had a book tucked under her opposite arm. She looked somewhat ready for travel, though I believe that any adventuring party in my day would have laughed her off as wildly unprepared.

It didn’t matter. “Let’s go then,” I said.

A few of the skeletons ran up to the gate that Alex had repaired and opened it up for us.

“So, where are we going?” the limpet asked.

“To the nearest temple, the one near the Jade Golem sect,” I said as I walked past the gate. Alex was busy arranging our little force into neat rows. Shades were rather terrible at regimentation, so I wished him the best in getting them to fly straight.

“Are we walking all the way there?” the limpet asked.

“We could fly or teleport,” I said. “But I’m in no hurry.”

The limpet nodded. “We could ride with a caravan,” she said. “That way we won’t be alone on the road if bandits attacked.”

I stared at her, then at the two dozen or so undead behind us.

“Oh, right, yeah,” she said. “Guess that won’t be a problem, huh?”

I dismissed her concern with a wave. “It’s a non-issue,” I said. Unless the bandits in this age were an order of magnitude stronger than the members of the local sects, then they wouldn’t be anything to worry about. Though, the idea of travelling with a group wasn’t entirely bad.

There was a lot to learn from merchants.

“Where would you go if you wanted to join a caravan?” I asked the limpet.

“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “Most caravans leave a couple of hours after sun up, they usually gather by the merchant’s gate. I can show you.”

“How long have you been in this city?”

The limpet counted off on her fingers. “About five days,” she said. “One day to arrive, another to get kicked out of the sect, another being sad and meeting you, yesterday learning magic, and then there’s today.”

“And you learned that much about the function of this city in that time?” I asked.

She nodded. “I’m used to being kicked out of sects and cities, so I got really good at figuring things like that out,” she said. “When you’re as weak as I am, you need every advantage you can get not to be eaten by some monsters on the road or attacked by bandits. I’ve run away from three ambushes so far.”

“Lead us to this merchant’s gate,” I said. “We can hire ourselves out as guards, or at the very least purchase a carriage to escort us all the way over. It will save these old bones some walking.”

“Yes, master!” the limpet said before she darted out ahead of our little group, her dog close by her heels.

I noticed that the lively streets of a few days ago had changed a little. There were broken windows and a few destroyed carts by the roadsides, the people on the street seemed far more skittish and fearful, especially when they caught sight of us and our little squadron of the undead.

Alex flounced up to my side and stared out ahead. “There are people watching us, Papa,” he said.

“Indeed,” I said.

It didn’t take a genius to notice that some shadows were shifting in the wrong way, or that the earth occasionally moved ever so slightly off to the sides.

“Do you think they’d ambush us?” I asked.

“That would be very rude and very dumb,” Alex said. “So yes.”

I shook my head. Why did people have to be so idiotic. Sighing, I reached into a pocket and pulled out my stopwatch.

With a flick, the world went grey, leaves caught in the wind stopped mid-motion, the sky turned an off shade of purple and the air became thick and cold.

The limpet spun around, eyes searching for a cause until she spotted Alex and I, unfrozen and still coloured. “Master?” she asked.

“Just a time stopping spell,” I said. “We’re about to be ambushed and I’d rather be over prepared than under,” I said as I handed my watch to Alex to hold while I moved my hands in the prescribed gestures for an upper tier spell.

“Find Hostile Life.”

A hundred-odd figures started to glow in my magical sight. Some buried under the road, others invisible or hidden by artefacts, yet others just plain out of sight.

“Are you going to take care of them?” Alex asked.

“I suppose,” I said.

I took note of the general levels of those around us, then picked out a few targets to spare.

“Magic Missile.”

A number of missiles equal to the fools around us spawned out of the air and made it all of a necrometer before turning dusty and grey and stopping in mid-air. They were out of our timed instance.

“Alex, could you fetch that lad over there?” I gestured to a fruit cart.

My butler curtsied and flounced over to the young man I’d pointed to. The moment he grabbed onto him, the boy started fighting and kicking, though it did nothing to stop Alex from dragging him over.

He was in the standard garb of the Four Venoms sect, a lower disciple of some form or another. He would do.

“Limpet, this will be your opponent. Now, while we do have a literally infinite amount of time here, I would appreciate it if you were quick about it.”

The limpet’s face drained of blood, but she took a deep breath, tightened her fists, and nodded.

Alex flung the confused young man a few necrometers away, with perhaps more force than necessary.

Was Alex angry at the man for the foiled ambush, or was my butler trying to give the limpet a slight advantage? Either answer would be well within the range of behaviours I’d expect from a good butler.

“You undead bastard!” the boy screamed. “You will face the wrath of the Four Venoms sect! You will be destroyed and your bones scattered and--”

While the young man spat his diatribe, the limpet got to work muttering the incantation of her one cantrip while her hands moved through their somatic gestures.

“Chill Touch!”

A skeletal hand shot across the space between the limpet and the young man with far more speed than she’d managed the day before.

Boney fingers dug into the man’s throat and necrotic energy bled into his form while his eyes went wide.

The limpet started to cast the same spell all over again.

Perhaps there was some hope for her as a caster.

***