And so, I stared longingly at that beautiful, black box. It was the possessor of all my future prospects, hopes, and dreams. Were it a physical object, I would caress it with the most gentle of touches—teasing and rubbing it until it ejected all of its most intimate secrets directly inside me.

Given it was just some weird MS-DOS wannabe, I mentally 'typed' yes instead. Boom, magic.

And just like said magic, some weird tune began playing in my head. I was momentarily startled but slowly began to relax when I realized nothing was trying to kill me with sound. Still, this was ... elevator music? What ... What the fuck?

Devising suitable mutation . . . . . . . . . . //

No really, I am experiencing disblief here. What the actual shit is going on with these boxes? Can somebody, anybody, please tell me if this is normal? I feel like this is very not normal. Where the hell does a box get off even having elevator music? Who gave it permission to play it into my brain? Can I charge a venue fee for this performance? Wonder if it needs a permit. If there's paperwork involved, I'm not doin—

Beep!

Oh. I guess it's done? Alright, fine. I didn't want to keep listening to that elevator tune anyway. Not like that was the first time I'd had anything remotely close to decent auditory stimulation in the past week or two. Maybe I can just beat my rock on the wall and make a catchy little jingle instead now that the neighbors are asleep. Get some bugs to dance around with me. Or flail around as I eat them. Or ...

Eh, screw it. What's the diagnosis, doc?

Evolution Menu - Mutation Result Small Princess Slime

A Slime born to rule. As the first of its kind, little is known about this species. An extremely well-rounded being that makes up for a lack of specific strengths with extraordinary potential and a captivating aura. Legendary Mutation. All basic conditions met! (10 of 10) Bonus Condition Calculation List Perceived gender as neutral or female ✔ Crown adorned with some form of gemstones resting upon Core ✔ In possession of a Unique Skill ✔ Has consumed both a Mana Spring Crystal and Dungeon Core ✔ Holder of multiple Titles ✔ Possesses sapience and has shown exemplary judgment ✔ Luck ≥ 30 ✔ Has defeated a foe at least three times higher in level ✔ Total Attribute Score ≥ 120 ✔ Ability to use Elemental, Healing, and Support-type magic ✔

A sense of silence overtook me.

Princess Slime, huh? Hmph.

I wondered if this box was trying to flatter me. At times, especially when interacting with these damn boxes, I thought that perhaps one day I would wake up and this would all have been a dream.

I was tired.

There was a faint sense of satisfaction, but I thought it would be much more vivid. Something told me my perseverance had paid off. Something told me I'd made choices that I would benefit from. Something told me all the stars were aligning and I'd really 'lucked' out somehow. I was even a little bit happy that I'd met my goal.

But I was also scared. I wanted to wake up, yet at the same time I didn't want to go back to that monotonous existence.

So what happens after this? After this 'Evolution'? Am I just going to continue being another monster in a cave that eats things? It was driving me insane. All I could do was hope this was the answer to my prayers. Hope that this was the best solution. Hope that 'outside' wouldn't get added to the list of things that wanted to murderfuck me.

Now that those humans were dead or gone, now that those kobolds were similarly deceased, the Spring was eaten and the Dungeon Core devoured ... this cave felt so empty. I wasn't sure how much longer I would care if this went on.

My eyes looked curiously over the conditions it had apparently 'calculated' or whatever. I really wasn't sure how this got me a 'Princess' mutation, because what kind of Princess eats bugs in a cave for weeks on end? I thought they dangled their hair atop high towers or something.

Now, most of the conditions I understood, but the 'crown' one I was a bit lost at. I had my 'mineral shell' that I'd been forming as a defensive layer. It was about 40% completed. Gemstone? I really wasn't sure what this stuff I made actually was, just that it looked pretty nice. Did such a stupid thing really count as a crown? I wasn't sure. Just like most of the things since coming to wherever 'here' is.

My head hurt. This was tiring. I was running out of patience.

Ah. This is good enough, boxes. You've still got something good planned for me, right? It was you who said to enjoy myself and have an 'exciting, heart-pounding adventure' right?

So give me something that makes my heart race.

Confirm Evolution.

There was a flash of light, and then—

"...—can't cry. Your Mother needs you to be a strong girl, okay? Just ignore them."

"But they're the ones who-!"

"Shhh. I know. But it's fine. The reason they did that is because they're envious. They aren't like you, dear. You're special. They're jealous of your talent and hard work. Just ignore them. Next week will be the quarter-finals. Just do as we practi ... you'll ... fine."

"... hurts my ... not sure if ... keep ..."

"It's ... ... remember ... -ve you."

—

When I came back to, mild indignation flared up within me.

Why is it every time I fall asleep or pass out lately, I have those annoying dreams? First spiders, then him, then that other disgusting one, and now finally I'm coming full circle. Fucking hell. I gotta figure out a way to make those stop. It's ruining my good mood.

There was a soft, dimly blinking light in the corner of my vision. I sighed mentally to myself, before counting backward from 10. Everything went away easily enough. After that, I directed my attention toward the ever familiar green box.

Congratulations on successfully Evolving!

—Or rather, where the hell did my green boxes go? Why is it pink now? An imposter? I don't want your congratulations, fake!

There was yet another notification.

Applying stockpiled experience at a reduced rate.

Oh, I'd nearly forgotten about that. More importantly, why'd it even change? This color hurts my mental vision. Also, I loathe pink. Can you go back to being green? Thanks, babe.

User Menu coloration setting changed.

Much better. ...

Wait, is that it?! I can just tell it to change colors and it'll do so? What is this, a smartphone wallpaper?! I was joking with that remark! I was being snarky! An insufferable bitch! You can't just ... just do what I tell you! That's weird!

Instead of looking at the likely much more important notifications I'd accrued, I decided to spend 5 minutes changing my boxes to various colors and shades and yelling at it to do other tricks in vain. If nothing else, I was both entertained and incredibly curious what this turn of events meant. Numerous questions were raised in my mind, but without a source of answers I instead became discouraged and lost focus on those thoughts. Plus it didn't help I was beginning to feel like I was talking to myself, which just made me feel even crazier. Which is saying something.

Ghh, whatever! May as well get on with things.

I stretched my body out a little bit to exercise before I delved into the 'paperwork' of reading through all these notices. It's a shame I didn't have knuckles to crack or a pen to twirl around in my hand. I miss my work desk. Oddly enough, I felt light and in good health.

Skill unlocked!

Due to evolution as a Small Princess Slime, Skills Acquired! Charisma Attribute integrated!

The Royal Guard Lvl.1 Acquired!

Regal Aura Lvl.1 Acquired!

Slime Domination Lvl.1 Acquired! Attribute increase!

Charisma - null → 5 Stockpile applied at reduced rate! Level up!

Small Princess Slime Lvl.10 → Lvl.13

Strength - 15 → 21

Vitality - 22 → 29

Intelligence - 21 → 27

Wisdom - 14 → 20

Dexterity - 18 → 23

Charisma - 5 → 6 Status Menu Name : n/a , Deathwarded Race : Small Princess Slime Level : 13 HP : 79/79 (+4.9/hour) Stamina : 24/58 MP : 54/54 (+3.1/hour) Strength : 21 Vitality : 29 Intelligence : 27 Wisdom : 20 (+5) Dexterity : 23 Luck : 33 (+5) Charisma : 6

This was alarming. And new. And I didn't know where to start. So I examined the new Skills in order, starting with the ones I'd neglected from my previous meals..

Domain Lvl.1 - Passive - Active (5MP/anchor) (Rare)

Able to detect intruders or hostile entities in a 360° angle at a 15-foot(+25%) radius. Increases in proportion to Wisdom. Must designate a spot as the Domain center and set it as an 'anchor'. Higher levels may reveal more information and provide increased directional accuracy of targets. Duration of Anchor - 24 hours, or once user leaves designated area. Adaptive Coating Lvl.1 - Active - Variable Cost

User is able to change the coloration of exterior and interior. Higher levels will increase ease of use and reduce cost for more advanced camouflage patterns and pigments. Upkeep applies when Skill in use. Magic Threads Lvl.1 - Active

Ability to create fine threads or silk from a silk-producing organ. Higher levels increase thread durability, resistance to erosion, and reduce Stamina consumption.

This was exciting. I could think of numerous applications for these Skills, especially the first and second ones. I'd acquired what appears to be my first 'Rare' Skill. I wanted to try them right away. This 'Domain' meant I could to an extent find a hiding spot above ground and rest there, assuming I was reading it correctly. I wonder how it worked? Using Mana in the air to ... sense enemies? I could understand perhaps sensing movement, but how did it differentiate what a 'hostile' target was?

As for Adaptive Coating, it seemed like that Stealth skill the Mirrorback had used. I could use Domain to put down an anchor in a tree stump or something, then Adaptive Coating to hide inside. Genius!

As far as Magic Threads, I wasn't sure how to make good use of that yet. A Slime that built a web? That just sounded strange to me. But I've discovered so far that even the most seemingly useless of Skills could come in handy.

Yes, I'm looking at you, Mineralization. Freakin' making gems. How the hell did that tasty lump of rocks I ate become a gemstone crown? I can barely even call it a crown! It's just a misshapen shell I've been wearing on my head, for Green Box's sake! I don't even know what it's made of! I need an Identification Skill! Bah.

I scanned over the magic I'd gained from that old woman, but this Ice Bolt and Wind Blade didn't sound very special. Perhaps I was just fond of my Slime Bullet and being biased. I tested them out anyway and one quite literally made a bolt of Ice shoot towards where I directed, while the other shot a blade of compressed air towards where I directed. Seemed simple enough. I'd play with them more later, because at 3MP a pop, I didn't want to keep burning through my MP without a magic puddle to drink.

The nicest boon I'd gotten from that lady was the increase in Mana Regeneration from level 1 to 2. Rather than a 50% boost, I was now rocking a 75% boost. Woo, Viva la Regeneration! Combined with my Meditation Skill, which was now giving me a +140% recovery bonus, this meant I could recover over 7 MP per hour. It was starting to feel like a respectable recovery amount. Hopefully, I could increase those two Skills' levels again soon, but it seemed like the higher they went the harder it became. I guess that made sense though.

I began looking at my Evolution induced Skill gains.

The Royal Guard Lvl.1 - Passive - Special Action (Unique)

Able to designate one Royal Guard per Skill level. Target must accept designation and an item of perceived value must be bestowed from the Skill User upon the target. Grants members of The Royal Guard an increase of 5%+(3%*Skill Level) to all Attributes while within a 1-kilometer+(500meters*Skill level) radius of the Skill User. Enables telepathy between all members of The Royal Guard, including the Skill User. Regal Aura Lvl.1 (MAX) - Passive (Rare)

Others will find you more imposing when you wish to be taken seriously, more charming when acting seductively, and more comedic when you attempt humor. All of your mannerisms seem a bit more refined than before. Directly affected by Charisma Attribute. Slime Domination Lvl.1 - Passive (Rare)

All members of the Slime race will show you little to no hostility unless provoked. Less effective on higher-leveled creatures. Increased Skill levels will boost effects.

My mind came to a screeching halt at a certain word. Telepathy.

If I can use this Skill on something ... I can speak freely with them? Without the need for a mouth? But what is an 'item of perceived value'? How am I going to get anything valuable to confer this status upon them? Do I like, have to knight them and give them a sword or something?

Still, I was incredibly excited! I just needed to figure out how to find someone and willingly get them to be my bodyguard. I'm sure there's at least one crazy, idiotic person out there who wants to serve a man-eating ooze monster that looks like it crawled out of the trash. Right?

Ugh, just like my Evolution Conditions, this was probably a tougher hurdle to cross than I expected. Still, it was something to go on and work toward. Perhaps this new 'Charisma' attribute and 'Regal Aura' Skill would help me out in my newly decided endeavor. A Slime could hope, yes?

Speaking of Slimes, I'm not sure how to feel about this Slime Domination Skill. I've never encountered another Slime, so I can't judge its usefulness. Certainly doesn't sound like it would hurt, and it has a 'Rare' in the description so it's probably considered powerful in some ways. It would be terribly ironic if I got turned into a Slime, only to be eaten by another, bigger Slime.

Yeah, screw that. Maybe I can learn to shoot Fireballs in case another Slime ever wants to attempt cannibalism. Do that and turn on my 'Poison Coating' so that I taste horrible in addition to being a fire hazard. Try eating me then, punks.

I should really work on my defensive Skills for when I go outside. ...

Speaking of which, I'm both claustrophobic and hungry right now. Let's go round up some of those tasty snacks that human group left me. With any luck, kobolds taste just as good cold as they do warm because I certainly don't have a microwave in here.

Upon an attempt at exiting my home cave, I noticed a change. I couldn't fit through the narrow crack anymore. Or rather, I was getting stuck. Examining my 'center' led me to discover that my 'protective shell' had changed shape and seemed to be lining up with two small 'grooves' that I wasn't sure were in my center body before. The shell was now shaped like an actual crown, about an inch-and-a-half in diameter. It popped on top of my 'head' like a velcro hat. Except my head was the other half of the velcro.

I did discover I could take it off, though I felt oddly uncomfortable when doing so. Like I was naked. But the only thing here to see me were bugs and I'm a ball of Jello without the T and A, so that's a horrible comparison. As soon as I squeezed through, I popped my 'crown' back on my head. Relief.

This world's about as fucked up as I am. Hngh.

I sighed, then headed outward to find a meal. When I approached the first torch I held my crown up to the light to see how it had changed. It was now a flawless, miniature crown with little in the way of decoration or distinction besides shape and crystalline clarity. The same could not be said of my 'arm'.

WHY. AM I. PINK?

What is this bullshittery!? I don't want to be pink! That's like the exact opposite of woodland camouflage! What happened to blending in? I mean, my goop doesn't look nearly as disgusting, it kinda looks pleasant now, actually, ... but that's completely beside the point! Isn't this going to make hiding in grass and trees and stuff harder? Ugh.

I'm going to need to practice that Adaptive Coating Skill soon and see how it works. Yep.

I shot a Water Bolt at the torches in this room and they fizzled out. I did the same down the hallway, before returning to the room where my former archnemesis had resided. I guess I'd managed to 'avenge' her, even if I wasn't particularly trying to. It was a weird feeling since I was probably going to kill and eat her anyway, but I was still bummed out about the way things ended. She might've made a decent Royal Guard candidate, assuming the telepathy thing worked for lizard-speak. Kinda doubt it for some reason.

Well, it's in the past. She was delicious. Rest in peace, lizard lady. Now I'm going to ransack your room just to be safe, so please forgive me.

I roamed around the admittedly small area, looking for things of interest. There was some metal ore in the barrel which I decided to eat some scraps of. Didn't taste as good as the white crystal stuff, but it was a decent appetizer. I'm fairly certain it was some type of Iron ore, so I'd have to give that a go later on with Mineralization. It's a shame I don't remember the periodic table very well, nor have someone to ask what the rocks are. It'd be neat if I could eat gold and then make more. I'd be rich, assuming I could sell it to people without them running in horror.

There were some dried herbs on the table, which I ate too. Out of the four of them, three tasted rather good, while the other gave me a mild form of poisoning that I quickly expelled. Annoying and fruitless.

The bloody altar in the center of the room just kind of creeped me out, so I decided against trying to eat it right now. Perhaps I could come back later. With everything dead, this whole cave was basically my home now it seemed. That also meant I could steal her bed, so I didn't want to wreck the place.

I made my way out into the hallway, which was completely silent. Only the occasional drop of water could be heard. Guess the bats never migrated back into the cave after the candles and lights went up. Once I got to the kobold 'living corridor', I discovered a scene out of a horror movie. Blood and guts were strewn all over the walls. Six half-charred corpses had been drenched with water. Apparently with the now-digested Dungeon Core being rather non-existent, these corpses weren't going anywhere fast.

I can't believe I am about to eat this. This is waaaay beyond the 5-second rule. Beyond the 5-hour rule, even.

For the next hour, I shut my brain off as I methodically cleaned the cave as a faux Dungeon Core stand-in. By the time I'd finished, I felt disgustingly full, was quite certain I ate numerous things I shouldn't have, and even managed to get a few loose chunks of dirt inside me.

While I was amazed by the fact my new body could even process ... all of this, I was utterly revolted by the experience. Something about eating a lizardman while they're still whole versus after they've been blown and scraped against a cave wall had shaken my resolve. It wasn't a complete loss, but I had a few questions raised by my corpse buffet.

Skill unlocked!

Swordsmanship Lvl.1 Acquired! Attribute increase!

Strength - 21 → 22

Vitality - 29 → 30

Is there a limit on what I can Devour and still get 'credit' for? I really didn't understand. I was also hoping I'd get something more from the kobolds, but a free meal is a free meal. One that I don't want to partake in again, if possible.

Gods do I want some human food. The very first task for my future Royal Guard will be to learn to cook and prepare meat and vegetables. Still, I need to give that some more thought. Should I like, pay them a salary or something somehow? Ugh, I don't know how to be an employer with a body like this. I'll have to consider an operating procedure for hiring new 'personnel' if I ever get that far.

Frustrating.

The fact I'd picked up a Skill called Swordsmanship from a bisected lizard confused me, but I wasn't complaining. Even if I had no idea if I'd ever use a sword. Or how eating a lizard would make me better at swinging a sharp metal stick around.

I rounded the corner and noticed the incline of the ground was going up. Instead of torchlight, there was soon something else.

My eyes were sensitive to this light. Even after I'd gotten a bit more used to the candles and torches, this was nearly blinding to me. I crawled up about 15 feet of smooth rock and dirt, before the cave's mouth narrowed and then expanded.

As I quietly rounded one final corner, my mind nearly halted. I felt so unsafe out in the open like this, but for once I didn't mind. Had I eyes, they would probably be tearing up in relief. After I don't even know how long in that hell hole of a cave, I was finally free of it. There was an outside world.

Trees with thick green leaves and brown bark, a 'regular blue' sky rather than the monochrome blue my Magic Sensory provided me with, white and yellow flowers I'd never seen before scattered here and there. I even heard some kind of birds chirping.

—It was beautiful. I'd finally taken a step outward. All the tension in my body, all the fears in my mind seemed to slowly melt away after gazing upon this scenery.

Now I just had to figure out what to do next...