《Give me my lily pad back.》10. The almighty floof.
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Looking down at the tiny predator gambolling around her feet Mibbet felt...... conflicted to say the least. Due to the diminutive disaster attempting rather poorly to devour her. On one hand her frog side was screaming at her to finish the damn owl off before it finished her off. But on the other hand, the treacherous human instincts were thinking words like “smol, cute, baby," and the worst of them all "ickle”. Then of course inside her head Rosalind, who hated all humans equally and without reservation, but found animals adorable was casting another vote for giving the damn creature a chance while making ridiculous squeals and cooing noises.
But Mibbet was a strong independent frog. She was not one to be fooled by such folly as cuteness. This was a killing machine, one that would turn on her in an eyeblink, any.... minute ..... now. She turned to glare, but then the treacherous owl-bear sensed her hostility and unleashed its ultimate weapon.
It rolled over on its back exposing a fluffy/ feathery tummy to an unprepared world, and flashed big brown beary cute, and in proportion owlish eyes, with just a hint of tears in them to Mibbet, who strong or not was unprepared for the incoming, and completely overwhelming onslaught, while the fluffy tufts atop its head swivelled back. Then while the duo were still reeling from the 3 part combo of cute it unleashed one more hidden weapon, the most devastating weapon in any cute creatures arsenal. Paw Beans, 14 itty bitty beans, and to add to that they were mismatched.
With this logic packed its bags and quit without even giving 2 weeks notice. Survival instincts decided to take a two week unpaid holiday, delegating all further responsibility to Common Sense, which right now was becoming increasingly uncommon, and could only sense the word AAAAAAAAAWW. Mibbet tried desperately to rally against the downright dastardly deviousness displayed before her as a tidal wave of fluff desperately overwhelmed her senses.
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The tawny and caramel brown menace looked up at her unblinkingly, giving a confused sounding chirrupy growl, and Mibbet's heart took a critical hit. All thoughts of the danger that it represented were fading fast as Mibbet's psyche reluctantly waved the white flag.
“We’re not keeping it” she muttered to herself. “We are not”. but her words were muffled somewhat by her face being buried in the almighty floof. “It’s an owl, I have zero desire to become pellets. Once it gets big enough to fend for itself it’s gone and that’s that.”
“you know little Alba won’t make it out there all alone.”
“You, GAAAAAAHH why did you do that?”
“do what pray tell? Replied the princess the faux innocence in her voice making a valiant attempt against the obvious smugness that came from clearly already knowing the outcome, but not quite succeeding in hiding it.
“Naming it, it’s the ultimate dirty move, you know full well when you give something a name you’re screwed, and what do ya mean wouldn’t make it? We frogs have a time honoured tradition of laying spawn then buggering off. It’s what happened to me, what are all you mammals too good for that or something?” She grumbled halfheartedly. Imagining abandoning it with a twinge of guilt. What the hell was wrong with her?
“First off mammals need a parent, or they die, second off in case you forgot you just offed its parents right in front of it, poor Alba, all alone and defenseless.”
With that common sense hung out the white flag, and handed the keys to guilt, which swapped guilt mode from “them or us”, through “I feel bad” past “terribly guilty,” then “to they’re an orphan now” and right up to “you puppy kicking monster”setting without even a moments hesitation.
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The guards meanwhile were approaching cautiously, pausing every few steps to keep an eye out for any remaining adults. “Oh gods” Errol muttered “isn’t she dangerous enough without the future half tonne of furry feathery death?”
“you want to try to make her get rid of it then?” Shot back Sir Humphrey as Errol shook his head furiously. “Thought not, and wouldn’t you rather have an Owl-bear on our side than one with a massive grudge against all humans?” He thought on it a little longer then added. “Alright then, I suppose we’d better send out a few men to hunt something fast, even small Owl-bears are known for big appetites, and I really don’t want to see the creature hungry. A rabbit should do nicely.”
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Mibbet tried her best to process what had just happened while a cute little Owl-bear (that thing should not be cute, especially not while eating,) happily devoured a whole rabbit half its size with a happy demi purr of a growl, and a sickening crunch of thoroughly nommed bone which made Mibbet wince.
Suddenly it brought up its hind legs, and started playfully kicking its meal, while Mibbet tried her best to suppress the knowledge that kick was meant to disembowel prey. But the cute won out, while the little Owl-bear snickered to itself, this one had been tough to win over, but in the end it would bend to Alba’s will, it would appear she had gained new servants.
And so it came to pass that Alba the Owl-bear averted a terrible fate as a pair of fluffy slippers (she was much to small for a rug,) and gained a frog princess sucker..... I mean owner. Alongside a whole palace full of servants, who with one flash of the ol’ sad eyes would be falling all over themselves to wait on her. Alba chewed on her dinner happily, yes everything was falling into place.
Mibbet had gone into battle, fought desperately for her life, and eventually, even when the chips were down she had won after a fashion. But the truth was, despite her best efforts, even when she played her best hand, the game was rigged from the start.
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