“Nothing’s wrong,” she says tersely, refusing to look at me.

“Huh. I’d be inclined to believe you if you weren’t so obviously angry about something.”

“I’m not angry. My hand hurts.”

“Then let Bell heal it.”

“I don’t need healing for this tiny wound.”

This girl. “You want to be in pain.” My tone carries my skepticism.

The burned hand twitches. Did she want to hit me? With it injured the way it is, it would have hurt her a lot more than me so she caught herself. “It’s a good lesson. I let my guard down.” Her eyes cut to me for a moment. “I’ve been taking this test lightly because I know I can rely on you—”

“Which you can.”

“That isn’t the point. I let my guard down because I knew Bell was there. I knew Geo was coming. And I knew that a single shout from either of them would bring you running. No part of me imagined us losing or anything bad happening to us.”

I’m still not seeing the problem.

“But that won’t always be the case. I think there’s a good reason they said we’d be evaluated individually. We’re a team now but teams break up. One day, you’re going to run off and I won’t be able to call you back. I have to rely on my own strength. This—” She raises her burned hand. “Is a good reminder.”

…is she serious?

I stare at her. Feeling the weight of my gaze, she meets my eyes with a flat expression, a look that feels duller than her usual stern demeanor. As the seconds tick by without a smile to tell me she’s joking, I start to believe she means what she’s saying.

And my hand snaps up to smack the back of her head.

I try to keep it light but she still stumbles forward. Her head snaps back to me as a hand goes to her hair. That broke her mask, heh. Thought she’d be angrier but that’s pure shock.

“Lou!”

“Yes, Alana?”

“You hit me!”

“I did. It’s a tried and true cure for idiocy.” The anger is starting to creep in, her lips twisting into a scowl. “I know, I know. How dare I, you’re going to run me through with your sword, and every other wonderful idea going through your mind. I won’t stop you but if you say something so stupid again, I’m going to have to knock some sense into you.”

“You…you…” She stomps her foot in frustration. “I didn’t say anything wrong!”

Ahead of us, the others slowly come to a stop, but Geneva is quick to hurry them along. Bell comes toward us, lingering a distance away to give us a semblance of privacy.

“There are many things wrong with what you said but there’s one part that I can’t let stand. Where exactly do you think I’m going?”

She blinks slowly. “…what?”

“Tell me if I’m wrong but you would rather be in pain than accept any form of my help because you think I won’t always be here. With you. So, where in the nine hells do you think I’m going?” A little anger might have slipped into my tone.

“…it’s the way things are, Lou. We won’t be initiates forever. Saints, next spring we won’t have the luxury to see each other every day. People…grow apart.”

“…my hand is getting itchy.”

She takes a step back. “I’ll cut you.”

A squeak stops me from giving her head another slap. I open my hand, revealing the little cutie. I don’t know how I can tell but its eyes tell me how aggrieved it is. “Aw, did I cuddle you too tight?”

It squeaks again, kicking its feet in another attempt at escape.

“Lou, what in the abyss is that?”

“In a minute.” Bell scampers up to me and I pass my little friend to her. “Don’t eat it.”

“Coo.” [It would hardly count as a snack, Master Lou.]

“Were you holding that this whole time?”

“We’ll get to that.” Squaring my shoulders, I stomp over to her. She takes another step back but realizes that there’s no running and straightens her spine. She holds my gaze as I move into her personal space. “I’ve just got to clear up a little misunderstanding.”

In the span of a heartbeat, I pull her against me and bring other lips together.

“Mmph!”

She tries to pull back but she can’t overpower my hold when I don’t want her too. A fist beats my stomach with as much force as a feather, growing weaker by the moment. Then it twists the collar of my shirt, going to still.

Her lips, initially tense with surprise, slowly soften as she relaxes. It’s my turn to be surprised when they hesitantly move, returning the kiss clumsily. I don’t mind at all, smiling as I loop my other arm around her waist.

After several minutes, I pull away. Alana looks at me with a dazed expression, her eyes slightly wet. A far cry from her usual stoic demeanor. “Asshole,” she says softly.

“Mm.” Sorry. The only woman I’ve truly courted is my wife. She’s taught me to tackle problems with excessive force and extreme prejudice. “Maybe I haven’t made myself clear. Alana, I love you.”

“Lou—”

“I don’t know what you think that means, but to me, it means I’ll never leave you.” Even if you want me to, but best not to say that now.

“I…know you do. But that’s right now. You can’t say how you’ll feel in the future.”

“Oh, and you can?” I say sarcastically. I realize my mistake immediately and stop her from pulling away. “That was a bit harsh but I mean it. I tell you I won’t leave and you tell me I’m wrong. Do you think I don’t know my own feelings? Do you need another demonstration?”

She puts her hand over my mouth, face flushed red as a tomato while scowling. “I know you want to bed me, Lou!”

“Oh. Oh hoh. I get it.” She stumbles as I suddenly let her go. “You think this is just about sex.”

“I…” Her words trail off. Guess I’m right.

I want to be angry, I really do, but what has she seen? I’m a married woman still salivating after other women, including her. She hasn’t seen my devotion. She can’t peer into my heart to know how I feel and the evidence she can see gives her cause to doubt.

Not to mention her past. She’s the bastard of a nobleman who was disregarded until they learned of her light affinity. I’m sure they flattered her to death to gain her allegiance. She has to be accustomed to doubting people claiming to love her.

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

“Lou.”

“Don’t.” I hold up a hand to keep her from approaching. I meet her eyes. “I know we have something.”

“We—”

“Ah ah.” I cut her off. “Don’t say anything you don’t mean or might regret. One day, you’re going to understand how serious I am.” Oh, is she going to. “That’s when I want you to give me your answer.”

Alana stares at me for a long moment before sighing. “You’re impossible,” she grumbles.

“Thank you.”

She smiles reflexively, quickly suppressing it. “Not a compliment.”

“I think so. Now, are you going to stop being stupid and let Bell heal you or am I going to have to kiss you again?”

“Completely impossible!”

“Think I won’t?”

“Oh, I know you will.” She sighs deeply and holds out her hand. Bell doesn’t waste any time scampering over. She leaps up, grabbing Alana by the arm. A moment later, she drops to the ground and the burns on my friend’s hand are gone. “…thanks.”

“Yeah.” I look forward. The rest of our team has put a bit of distance between us. “We better catch up.”

She nods and walks off at a brisk pace.

The two of us are going to have a conversation soon. A serious one. Not that words have proved effective communicating my intentions. She needs to believe me when I say that I see us being together forever. That she’s a wife, not another lustful noble’s mistress.

I met Kierra in trying circumstances. Combined with our wedding, I proved my devotion to her again and again. It doesn’t seem like a convenient opportunity will show itself in regard to my future saint. I need a gesture. Something big that will obliterate any doubts she may have.

I’m up to the challenge. I just hope she can bear the consequences because there are very few lines I won’t cross for love.