《UNRANKED: A Portal Break Xianxia》Chapter 23: Saturdays
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“I’m not taking him to the park. I couldn’t hold him on a leash.” I replied, staring intently at the steam coming out of the wafflemaker. When it stopped, I pulled it open, lifting my waffles free— my plate was already stacked, and then I pulled fresh fruit and syrup, drizzling them on top. I was nearly drooling, if I could only get off this phone call.
I never could spend the time to recreate earth’s cuisine. There were fantastic meals on the other side, sure, but I spent more time worrying about my food being poisoned than the taste, so this was a rare luxury to me. Also: sugar. American food had so much sugar.
American. That was a strange thing to me; this place and its culture were more foreign than familiar, despite growing up here.
“But he needs his walks! Ugh, fine, I’ll have Xavier do it.” Willow said through the phone. It was playing on speaker. “You got the guide on watering the plants, right? Don’t water them! No matter how much they ask.”
I blinked at that. “They ask?”
“Yeah, well, sometimes! They might not be comfortable enough to talk around you.” My eyes scanned the room at that. Some of the plants filling the empty spaces in the kitchen and on tables and in the corner near the window did seem a bit alien, though they were all just green fauna to me. It wasn’t as if I had seen every plant on earth.
My phone buzzed. “Hold on. I’m getting another call.”
There was a sound like a crash through the phone, a distant rumble that distorted the mic, before Willow’s voice returned. “Ugh, I have to go anyways. No worries! Talk to you later!” She hung up, and I got a buzz from the only other number in my phone. Even though I hadn’t added it to my contacts, I knew who it was.
“Junior.” I said, answering the phone and taking it to the table with me.
“Junior my ass! I’m older than you.” Kim spoke through the phone.
I stared at the waffles longingly.
“Whatsup? My breakfast is getting cold.”
“I’ve been meditating daily, like you said.” She started.
“Mhm.” I said, beginning to cut a piece of waffle apart. I wouldn’t let it get cold.
“This Qi— this is real? How long did it take you to sense it?”
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“The first time? Mmmm….. A month? But the circumstances were different. The place I was in was extremely Qi rich. My master left me blindfolded in a cave and dropped a heavy rock in front of the door.” I finally took a mouthful of the soft, fluffy heaven from the plate.
“You— they what?! Who did that to you? Did you sign up for that?”
I swallowed. The waffles were a perfect, crunchy texture that contrasted with the soft, sliced fruit. And they didn’t even taste at all of poison.
“Yeah, it was voluntary. Why? Do you want me to find a cave in a portal for you? I don’t think the Qi is much denser in the Kobold Caverns.”
“No! Don’t lock me in a cave! Are you crazy? Don’t answer that, you wandered off on your own in a dungeon. I know you’re crazy.” She paused, and I could hear her mumbling to herself. “Do you think that will be faster?”
I chewed and swallowed before replying, then grabbed the syrup dispenser, adding another layer to the waffles. They weren’t soaked yet.
“Yeah, that might work. If you have an extra potion to burn, you can pop one of those too.”
There was a silence on the line for a few seconds. I continued eating.
“…as if I have money to burn on an extra potion?”
“They’re not that expensive, right?”
“Are your parents rich? You know what, never mind.”
“Do you want to go on a dive and try meditating there?” I asked. I could kill two birds with one stone— letting Kim try in an environment that will speed up her chance of success, and I can hunt in the mean time. A giddy feeling boiled up in my chest. It had been days since I had gotten to fight anything.
Tomorrow?” She asked.
I checked my pockets, making sure I was ready for the dive today. I had three healing potions in my left pocket— they weren’t much good for cultivating any more, but once my Dantian was fully attuned I wouldn’t need much more of them anyway.
Phone… Check. Wallet… check.
Boots… check. I picked up a new pair after spending hours traversing that awful, muddy cave system. This Dive was supposed to open to a wide forest. I took more time to read about the environment and monsters this time.
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I tensed as the elevator light turned on. It opened directly into the kitchen/living room area of the apartment, and the door slid open quietly. Every muscle in my body clenched as power poured out of the elevator, so much that I could sense it inside my own body. It must have pervaded everything.
Willow was going to be out for a week.
So who just opened the door?
A man flowed into the room like water. I swear I didn’t even see him move his legs— it was like a movement technique. He glided as if on ice, bright blue eyes scouring me with a physical pressure.
“Making breakfast?” He asked.
I blinked. His eyes flicked between my hand and my face. I followed his eyes down to my hand. My fingers clenched around a butter knife I had picked from the table.
Something moved behind the man, and I flung the knife.
The knife passed through the translucent blue eye that slid over the mans shoulder, clattering loudly against the wall. Strange, misty tentacles dangled from its immaterial form, floating like translucent fog.
It rushed at Hooty immediately, and I stumbled backwards as it shot by me.
“Oh sorry, that’s just Makiel. I’m just here to walk Hooty. I’m Xavier!” He said, smiling.
“Ah… I see.” I looked to where the eldritch eye— Makiel— stroked Hooty’s fur with tentacles of semi corporeal mist. Hooty moved around it excitedly, thumping across the living room space.
I felt bad for the downstairs neighbors.
The man reached into his pocket, pulling out a massive link of chain with a clasp at the end.
“Hooty! Have you been a good boy?” Xavier cooed, leaning over as he pulled more and more of the chain. Logically it couldn’t fit inside of the space— it had to be something like a storage ring holding it, a collapsed space that was bigger inside than out. He pulled free a chain that more fit to berth a ship than as a leash, but Hooty hooted in excitement as Xavier fit it around him, wrapping it in a gigantic X that crossed his body. “You’re getting so big! We’re going to have to get access to the service elevator soon!” Hooty hooted, almost like the barking of a dog.
Xavier stood to leave, heading towards the elevator.
“May I ask… what’s the eye?” Makiel, the eye, somehow made a displeased look, even though he lacked a face to make any real expression. “Er, Makiel, pardon.
“Mak!” Xavier called, extending a hand, and Makiel rubbed against it like a kitten. “This is my summon. Well, one of them. The other two are dismissed. Makiel likes staying here, though. It was a major drain on my mana, at first.” I followed them into the elevator. With Hooty inside, I was basically pressed to the wall. The room was full of flesh and feathers. The elevator began to ding towards the ground, Xavier having accessed the controls from somewhere I couldn’t see. “Willow said you recently Awoken too?”
“Sort of.” I said. Oh shit. This guy is an Awoken. It didn’t really kick in place until then— seeing people with weird pets and artifacts seemed more normal than not. “Are you from Willow’s guild? Do you have access to any gates?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m from Horizon. We don’t own any gates, though. We give them all over to other guilds and subcontract the maintenance in exchange for access.”
“Maintenance?”
“Shit yeah, you just came out of a coma huh?” Xavier blinked, taking another good look at me from around Hooty, who was rubbing his face against Makiel’s tentacles. “You have to purge the population of a gate. If it exceeds a threshhold, the mana imbalances and the monsters start charging through.”
“I thought thats why all the gates had blast doors?” I said, thinking back to the gates I had seen. The more expensive gate had a seal in the garage, and even the cheaper one had a completely sealed room.
“They’re just for monsters accidentally wandering through. Most dedicated gates will chip through those, eventually.” The elevator dinged, and we stepped out in the lobby. A man on the other side went pale, stepping all the way back until he was against the wall. Xavier smiled and waved as we walked towards the exit. “Where you heading? Coming to the park?”
I blinked. “No, I’m visiting a friend.” I said, looking between him and Hooty. “I’ll… see you around, I think.”
“For sure! Hey, when you hit your cap, send me a text! Or have your sister do it, I guess. Horizon will totally recruit you!”
I smiled politely. “Sure thing.”
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