《Fated To Fall: A Transmigrator LitRPG Tale》Chapter 4: I am apparently a Doll, not a person.
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Liliana woke up the next morning to sunlight burning the lids of her eyes once more. She grumbled and turned over, trying to hide herself from the cursed daylight. It felt early, and the doctors would be in later to run their tests. She wanted to get more sleep before then.
“Lady Liliana, it's time to get up,” A voice called out. At first both unfamiliar and achingly loved all at once.
Come on, I just found out my soul was put into the body of a villainess destined to live a lonely loveless life until she dies. Couldn’t you let me sleep for another hour or so?
The memories from the past...day? Hit her all at once and a flood of emotions hit her without mercy. Panic was strongest, filling her veins with it, speeding her heart up, and constricting her lungs. She was in a strange world, in someone else's body. She couldn’t even remember her name. She was expected to save this world from something, a task granted to her by some Goddess who obviously didn’t care much for a mortal’s mental wellbeing. The little ‘family time’ she’d had with the Duchess the day before only heaped more panic ontop of it all. It was too much, the shock from yesterday had held the panic at bay but now it had returned with a vengeance, unlocked from its constraints it rampaged through her.
“Liliana, can you follow my breathing?” A voice pierced through the panic clogging her throat like poisoned honey, filling her lungs until she couldn’t get air in. Her mind latched onto the voice, her body reacting to it instinctively. Her body knew this voice, trusted and loved it more than anything in this world. It gave her an anchor that she desperately needed in the storm of her own mind.
A hand tapped on her chest, a slow rhythm that she focused on. Slowly, it felt like years, Liliana could feel her lungs expanding more, deep breaths full of precious air filling her. As her breathing came under control Liliana became aware of her surroundings. She was in the bed she’d woken up in yesterday, with its plush comforters made of a soft fabric that was obviously expensive yet seemed worn. She could see now as she looked at the places they’d been carefully patched, almost invisible yet her eyes locked onto the stitching.
“There you go my flower,” A voice hummed, low and comforting.
A hand came up, rough and calloused from years of hard work yet so warm, and wiped at her face. She realized belatedly that her face was covered in tears and snot that Astrid cleaned without a complaint. Her body still shook occasionally with leftover sobs and her hands were shaking weakly where they’d clenched into the woman's apron. She’d grabbed onto her as if she was the only thing keeping her head above water, and maybe she was.
“You haven’t had a fit of hysterics like that in a while, my lady, though under the circumstances it’s understandable,” Astrid's warm voice soothed her more and Liliana nodded along.
She winced a bit at the term hysterics, it was an ancient and misogynistic way of referring to when a woman had a panic attack. She had panic attacks before, in the hospital. When it was dark and she was alone and she couldn’t always push the swirling emotions away entirely. Often a nurse would be drawn to her room by her heart monitor picking up and they’d sit with her and help her calm down. She knew how to calm herself down, yet it had been so long and she hadn't dealt with emotions like that in equally as long that they’d taken control of her completely, her mind trapped in the vortex.
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This is all too much. Couldn’t I have had a demo run or something instead? Or you know, been put into the body of some NPC or one of the heroes? Vita, I fucking hate you. No amount of broken OP buffs is going to make up for this dammit. Liliana could feel the anger, still fresh and potent, directed at the Goddess that had stuck her in this twisted fate. It scratched uncomfortably through her, she felt shaky, weak, and rubbed raw by the unleashed emotions scraping every part of her with sharp claws. So even if a guilty part of her knew this wasn’t her comfort to seek she curled deeper into Astrids embrace, letting the warm love she felt for the woman soothe the ache inside her heart and soul. It might not be her love, but it helped nonetheless.
“There there,” Astrid murmured, stroking her hair as she let Liliana come down from the panic. A few minutes later when Liliana had stopped shaking the woman carefully disentangled from her. Liliana shivered and pulled blankets around her, feeling so cold without the comforting presence of the other woman. Yet within moments she was back and sat behind Liliana, dragging a brush gently through the thick waves of her hair.
Liliana almost cried again, she hadn’t appreciated it the day before but she hadn’t had hair for so long. It had been one of the things she missed most before. She had always loved her hair, even if she could no longer remember what it had looked like, and having cancer strip it from her had hurt. Feeling a brush drag through the thick and long waves of her hair felt like a miracle, a gift from the gods. Which in a way it was.
Liliana melted under Astrid’s tender ministrations, the woman’s fingers were deft and any tangles were handled without a single pinch of pain. When she was done Liliana pulled the hair forward eagerly, her fingers slipping through the silk-like strands. She marveled at the luster of the locks in the sunlight, her hair was black but in the light, she could see the vibrant blue tones that shimmered through the strands.
“Let's get you some breakfast and then we’ll get you bathed and dressed. After that we can take a small walk to the garden and get you some fresh air,” Astrid decided as she placed a tray of food on Liliana’s lap.
This morning it was more bread and a broth with small bits of vegetables floating in it. Liliana dug in, her stomach waking up at the smell. Her mind still felt fuzzy from the panic, working slowly, so she was content to let Astrid make the decisions for her right now.
She managed to finish the broth and three bites of bread this time before she was full and Astrid whisked the tray away. She placed it on a table and then drew Liliana away from the bed. The girl followed her easily, though her eyes were a bit brighter as she looked over the room once more. She noticed now that there were three doors in the room, one that Astrid came and left by and two more she didn’t know the contents of. There was a bookcase with a few baubles that she couldn’t figure out the importance of, and she didn’t focus on for very long. She didn’t want to deal with foreign memories right now. She saw a writing desk on top of which was a journal with a pen and glass bottle of what looked to be ink nearby.
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Astrid drew her to one of the mystery doors and when she opened it she revealed a bathroom. It was marbled and bright, and there was already a large tub filled with steaming water waiting on her. Liliana blinked in surprise, she saw pipes leading from the tub to the wall it was against and the ground beneath it. She had almost thought it would be more medieval but she supposed they did have magic here, which could replace technology. The scent of the bath hit her and she breathed deeply, it smelled of flowers, sweet and delicate.
Liliana was distracted by her surroundings, examining a shelf covered in different bottles and vials of unknown substances. She didn’t notice that Astrid had grabbed her nightgown until she was half undressed. She yelped a bit in surprise but the other woman was deft and had her completely undressed before she could formulate a complaint. Dazed and embarrassed she was dumped into the tub, which was large enough to fit at least three of her without issue.
Liliana watched with embarrassed confusion as Astrid set to work cleaning her. She had gotten used to being cleaned by nurses during her time in the hospital, especially when she got too weak to move on her own. So she wasn’t too flustered by the actions, though the fact that she now had a body that was fully capable of washing itself and was still being forced to let others do it for her grated. She let out a yelp when she was shoved underwater and pulled back up sputtering. She forgot her complaints when Astrid started to wash her hair and she melted once more into the water.
I knew in historical times noble ladies were bathed by their servants, but it still feels odd. I don’t really know her. Then again if I get a head massage every time I don’t think I’ll complain too much. Liliana thought as the woman finished washing her hair with some kind of shampoo that smelled absolutely divine. She worked in an oil next that had a far more delicate scent and then Liliana was once again being manhandled. She was dragged out of the bath and had a bucket of clear water dumped over her, washing off the suds. She was then dried with an efficiency that spoke to her long experience with this ritual. Her hair was dried almost immediately when the towel passed over it, making Liliana look at the towel with curiosity. An enchanted towel? That was useful.
Liliana felt herself turning a shade of deep crimson when Astrid next started to put scented lotions on her, yet she bit her tongue almost hard enough to draw blood. She knew the real Liliana wouldn’t complain about this, she’d have been raised with this. It was survival instinct alone that kept her mouth closed even as she burned with mortification. She might be used to nurses bathing her but they’d never gone this far in their ministrations. She breathed a sigh of relief when a slip, chemise her mind informed her, was slipped over her head. A pair of stockings then flouncy pants, drawers again she was silently told, were held out for her to step into.
Appropriately dressed in undergarments Astrid drew her out of the bathroom back into her bedroom. Liliana was left to stand in the middle of the room as the woman opened the last mystery door, revealing a large closet filled with fabric. Liliana’s eyes widened as she looked at the clothes and she took an unconscious step forward, the little girl who loved to dress up inside of her wanted to see all the clothes. Some were far more extravagant than anything she had owned before, she had always been more partial to pants and t-shirts or simple dresses. Other dresses looked more simple in comparison to those though all looked to have more fabric than anything she’d ever owned before.
Astrid emerged from the closet carrying one of the more ‘simple’ dresses, a light periwinkle blue. Her mind informed her it was a tea dress, something typically worn only around one's home though recent fashion trends had them appearing in other settings as well though it was very new. Liliana breathed a small sigh of relief, she had been afraid she’d be put into a corset or something. She wasn't too sure what the clothes were like here, she knew what the two playable female characters wore but those were given or bought as outfits, she had no idea what was under them! Also once they got to the Academy the clothing changed a bit, the women could wear pants as they were usually also participating in physical activities same as the men.
Liliana held her arms up and let Astrid slip the dress over her head. The dress felt soft and light to the touch though she wasn’t sure what fabric it was made of. She had never paid any close attention to fabrics in her previous life and for once that strange intrusive information was silent.
A lighter outer robe went over the dress and a thick ribbon was tied at her back pulling it all together. Liliana looked down at the dress, it was ruffled and made her feel for a moment like some kind of fairy princess. Her hands trailed over the fabric marveling at the lace that decorated it. She knew this was a simple dress yet it was still far more ornate than any clothes she’d owned before. She had an almost overpowering urge to twirl around in the dress, though she contained it if barely.
Dressed, she was directed to a seat in front of a vanity covered in pots and bottles that she assumed held cosmetics and perfumes. Liliana wanted to reach out and play with them, memories of how she’d sit in her mother's lap, her real mother not Liliana’s, and watch her do her makeup rising. Her mother would often let her play with makeup she no longer used and she could remember painting her face with a multitude of colors that only a parent would ever call artwork. She resisted the urge to reach out as she sat and met the sapphire blue eyes in the mirror.
It was still so odd to look into the mirror and see a stranger. Every feature was familiar and alien, she’d seen Liliana in the game many times yet it was different in person. Different being her. No game could ever really catch the way her eyes glittered in the sunlight, just like the gemstones they so resembled. Or the way they darkened like storm clouds obscuring a blue sky as her mood took a dour turn. The game couldn’t properly show how her skin glowed lightly, despite her recent illness, as if Liliana had an inner fire that wouldn’t be contained. They had never fully shown how the blue in her hair was so vivid as it danced across the strands in the sunlight that bathed her.
Astrid grabbed combs and ribbons and set to work turning the thick waterfall of hair into a ladylike style as Liliana was mesmerized by her own reflection. A slender hand adorned with delicate and long fingers, pianist fingers her mother would say, rose to press against the skin of her cheek lightly. Touched the prominent cheekbones that were just shy of being too sharp. They trailed down to her lips, a dark pink despite the fact that no cosmetics had been used yet. Her skin was clear as well, something she noted with a tinge of jealousy. At fourteen in her past life she’d had to deal with acne born not just of her age but the treatments she’d undergone. Liliana seemed to have been spared such unpleasantness, along with a face that held an ethereal kind of beauty, one that could so easily become a cruel beauty.
She dropped her hand from her face as Astrid finished her work, a more elaborate braid than Liliana ever had hoped to recreate now hung behind her, the hair on top piled a bit. Astrid pulled out a hat that Liliana hadn’t seen her grab, it was wide and matched her dress in color with feathers on top of it. It all seemed like quite a lot to just go walk in a garden, yet she knew that it was necessary. It would be improper for her to go out in anything less than this. She was just lucky that tea dresses were appropriate wear and she would not yet be submitted to being laced in a corset.
The final piece was a pair of small heels, also a matching blue with lace on them. They were lovely and Liliana felt it was a bit of a shame that they’d be hidden by her dress.
Overall, getting ready had taken about an hour and a half, and the sun was much higher than it had been when she awoke. But they were finally ready as Astrid grabbed a parasol and Liliana froze for a moment when she realized as a Lady she would need to lead the way to the gardens. It would be the height of impropriety for Astrid to lead her anywhere as a servant and a lower class than her.
She hesitantly stepped towards the door and opened it, revealing a sitting room. There were several well-used chairs and couches around the room, along with a large fireplace empty of embers. There were a few tables made of expensive wood that Liliana couldn’t hope to guess at. After taking in the new environment Liliana slowly made her way to the next door. Opening it she looked down the halls in confusion until she felt a tug towards the right. She assumed the body remembered the path to the gardens and she sighed in relief. Her entire cover would have been blown if she needed to ask for directions. She knew some of the manor from the game, but not all of it had been open and Liliana’s rooms fell under that.
As her feet moved on their own she looked over the walls, seeing the artistic wallpaper that was just shy of being gaudy. Paintings hung on the walls, showing off the wealth of their family. Landscapes, still lifes, even a few portraits as they traversed to a larger hall. Liliana saw staff through the halls, all of them avoiding her eyes and curtsying or bowing. Some part of her knew that some of the servants didn’t curtsy or bow the appropriate depth necessary for someone of her rank. The same part of her that held her tongue from calling out a greeting and her hand from raising a wave. Noble ladies didn’t call out in greeting to servants, they didn’t wave their hands. It was odd in her previous life it was normal to greet others. Yet in this life, such a thing would be a huge misstep that would bring up uncomfortable questions.
Liliana felt a shiver skitter down her spine, fear leaking into her veins. She might be in a house, might be a nobleman's daughter, but she was by no means safe here. She hadn’t realized it when in her room but now it was obvious, nobles had a complicated web of rules they had to follow. A web the original Liliana would know well, yet she herself did not. She thanked the Goddess in her mind for letting her keep the memories of Liliana. Otherwise, she’d have been found out in minutes.
I’ve only seen a few servants and yet I’m already sweating with nerves. I hope I don’t run into any of Liliana’s family today. I don’t think I could handle that after yesterday. She thought as she turned yet another corner into another hallway. They were becoming more familiar to her though as she moved, paintings and decorations she could remember from the game. They were close to the garden, though she was already half tempted to turn around and go back to her room. Back to the relative safety she could find there far from the eyes of others. The walk through the frankly ridiculously large house and the fear that still swam in her veins had tired her.
When she finally reached the doors to the garden Liliana let out a sigh, a small feeling of pride in her chest. It was such a simple thing to others, she’d walked through a house wow! But she’d managed to keep any of the many servants who’d seen her from realizing she wasn’t the same Liliana Rosengarde who had walked these halls a month ago.
You have met the Requirements for the General Skill [Deception] Would you like to accept this skill?
Ah the system blesses me, Liliana thought wryly as she waited at the doors, Astrid would need to open them for her. The boxes didn’t take up her entire field of vision, in fact, she found that it was less that she saw them as she simply knew they were there and what they said. It was odd and her mind hurt if she tried to understand the how and the mechanics of it so she left it be.
As Astrid opened the door for her and Liliana stepped out she focused on the skill to get more information.
Deception: You are more adept at telling lies with both your words and actions, aiding you in making others believe what you wish for them to believe. Effect improved by higher Charisma.
Liliana accepted the skill quickly, something like that would be imperative to her survival here. Unlike [Identify] this skill seemed to make subtle changes to her that she focused on as she moved, her body in auto-pilot as she walked through the gardens. It wasn’t drastic, more her body just seemed to know how to better move to fulfill her purpose of making anyone who saw her believe she was a noble lady. She found her walk smoothing a little, the frown she hadn’t noticed on her face vanishing under the skill's effects. She was sure the body she was in would’ve been able to tell her to do these things as well, Liliana was a noble, but she still wasn’t entirely sure how to consistently make it forthcoming with information. For now [Deception] helped fill her gaps.
Satisfied with the minuscule changes of the skill, which Liliana was a bit excited over. The first skill she’d gotten that had made a noticeable change to her! It was incredible and made her think of what other skills she could get that might help her. Her first thought was combat abilities, most of her experience with the game had been combat. She wondered how a skill like [Dagger Mastery] or some such skill would affect her ability to use it. Would it be subtle, slowly improving her abilities over time? How would she improve it? What kind of effects did it have at higher levels? She knew in the game high levels of weapon mastery skills made the user deal higher damage, but in this world was it because it increased your knowledge, or did the skill itself also improve damage on its own?
Her mind was running wild with questions again, she had so many and so little information. She felt mourning for the internet, the easy access to unlimited information would’ve been amazing right now. For now, she had to find the answers herself by examining the world she was in and perhaps finding some books that might shed more light on matters.
Maybe there's a ‘Manual for Souls Dragged From Another World’ in the library? Or a ‘Skills and the System for Dummies’? Liliana thought with an internal chuckle. She doubted it would be that easy.
Looking around Liliana’s eyes widened as she realized she was deep in the gardens now, in fact, she was in the middle of the hedge maze she knew covered a good expanse of the garden. She didn’t remember the walk, so consumed by her thoughts and questions. In front of her was a large fountain, white marble carved in the form of a rearing unicorn, water spouting from the tip of its horn. The water itself had a light golden sheen to it not caused by the sun above them.
Behind the fountain sat a gazebo, made of delicate white metal that twined around elegant pillars in fanciful and beautifully intricate designs. The twisting metal converged at the top, the entire gazebo covered in panes of glass. Inside sat a table and chairs, all made of the same white metal with the same delicate designs. Liliana walked towards the gazebo, her legs informing her that they very much wanted to sit and she was certain if she didn’t heed them she’d soon find herself on the ground. 100 Stamina truly was not much it would seem.
As she moved she looked at the walls of greenery surrounding her, roses bloomed on the walls, their floral scent filling the clearing. Liliana took a deep breath of the fragrance, tears popping into her eyes. Her mother’s favorite perfume was a rose-scented one, and the smell reminded her of bittersweet memories.
The roses were white, matching the general theme of the clearing, and Liliana half expected to see card soldiers bursting in to paint them red. The inane thought was shoved aside even as a small smile graced her face at the image. It helped dry the tears that had tried to spill onto her face.
Liliana paused as she walked into the gazebo, the lighting was darker than outside despite the glass walls and ceiling. It wasn’t dark enough to make it hard to see, but it gave a comfortable shade.
More magic, it’s so common they use it for a gazebo and a fountain? Liliana marveled as she moved again, finally sitting down. She winced as her legs cried out in relief. She had forgotten Liliana had been bedridden for three weeks, her muscles weren’t used to so much movement. Yet she welcomed the pain because it was proof she had moved. She had walked, all on her own. No one there to help her, no wheelchair. More than the magic, that simple fact was by far the most marvelous to her. She had her agency back.
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