《Big Red Button.》Push number 527-ish.
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You push the button.
Ding.
The food is gone, along with the table and chair that it (and you) sat on. Which I forgot to mention. Instead, this room is full of pillows!
White pillows. No ink or decorations have been put on them, so don’t bother looking for a body pillow with an anime waifu on it.
And what’s in the pillows? Good question! Very good question indeed.
You look at one of the labels on a pillow, and find that it’s from Ikea. Which, honestly at this point it shouldn’t surprise you.
The tag also says that the pillow is filled with recycled polyester. It’s hypoallergenic, apparently. And also you shouldn’t iron it. Thankfully there is no iron in the room, so we don’t have to worry about that.
All in all there are about a hundred pillows in the room with you, clean and freshly washed.
What will you do?
You just had a huge meal of pasta! The first thing you’ll be doing is taking a nice, long nap.
Great! You do that! I’ll go get another latte!
…what, it’s only my seventh today. I don’t have an addiction, nope!
You make a nest of pillows and crawl in, pulling another pillow over you as a blanket. It’s nice and warm and comfy.
You fall asleep.
Well done in getting the flowers.
We will contact you when you are released.
It should not be long now.
After a while you wake up. I finish my game of Among Us and wait for you to get up.
Have a nice nap? Oh good.
Now what?
You decide to have a good ol’ traditional pillow fight!
…While alone. All by yourself. In the room.
You pick up a pillow and kind of flail around for a bit. You wave it around.
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You get bored really fast.
Oh you villain. They specifically say to not remove the tags, and here you go, removing them.
You don’t have any scissors to tear them off with, but that doesn’t matter. They aren’t exactly hard to rip off. You rip open a seam or two in the process, but that doesn’t matter, either.
Finally you have all the tags. You are now a tag master. Congrats.
You make a little book out of them, putting one on top of the other, and leave them next to the button so that whoever checks to make sure pillow tags are never removed will find them easily.
How evil of you.
You pick up a pillow, grip it on either side of the seam, and pull. The seam tears, showing a mass of white cotton-like fibers made out of (basically) plastic.
You pull the stuffing out and drop-kick it into a corner.
Then you pick up the next pillow and do the same.
Rinse and repeat, about twenty times. At that point you get bored.
You make a snowman out of the stuffing. You don't have anything to make the nose and eyes out of. Or arms. Or buttons. So it isn't really all that great of a snowman. But it works.
Then, keeping with the "pillow stuffing is snow" theme, you spread it out evenly on the ground, lay down, and make a snow angel. How lovely.
You try to make a snowball out of the pillow stuffing, but pillow stuffing isn't exactly compactable. You give up after a few tries.
You pick up a pillow and spin it around a few times, testing for firmness.
Yep, pretty firm. Ikea claims that these pillows (named vildkorn, which acording to google translate means "wild grains"... go figure..) are soft and firm at the same time. And it plumps to perfection. It can be washed frequently, and dries quickly. I happen to know that last bit is a lie. Took mine like three hekkin days to dry fully...
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Anyways! Yes, these pillows are firm. They stack nicely, making almost perfect bricks for a pillow fort.
Thankfully you have lots of them, so you don't run out halfway through. You make a pillow fort that would be the dream home of any six year old.
Then you crawl in, and declare yourself ruler of the pillow fort! You defy anyone to ursurp your reign!
As you are alone in the room, no one does.
If you had some snacks and maybe a handheld video game, you could stay in here for days. Sadly, you don't, and eventually boredom draws you back out.
Well, that was relaxing and enjoyable.
But you’ve run out of things to interest you here.
DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No
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