《I'm A Boat》Chapter 19: Slap Happy
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It was all well and good to simply relax here and this cove while I got things settled, but I knew that I didn’t want to stay here long term. After all, “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” I found that quote was particularly apt for my circumstances, considering I was able to apply the saying literally, not just metaphorically.
I was safe here, but already I could feel myself getting antsy. Having some experience to spend and some new skills to play around with would keep me busy for a while, but I knew from personal history that if I was left alone my rate of experience gain would plummet. Meditation would hopefully help stave off any mental issues that would crop up, but I doubted it would be able to completely remove my need for socialization. I needed to go out and interact with people if I wanted to grow, wanted to improve my circumstances, and I was hopeful that I would be able to do so safely.
Navigation might still be a black box as far as I was concerned, but it was a tool that I could at least punch in the right inputs and get useful outputs. I had a hundred questions as to how Navigation worked in a non-Euclidean world, and a thousand more as to the greater implications of non-Euclidean geography, but none of those questions stopped me from simply using Navigation while I puzzled things out.
It took me two days of relaxing and playing around with Meditation before I felt ready to actually head out elsewhere. It was nice having some time to myself without having to worry about anyone spotting me, but already I could feel myself steadily growing more restless.
“Take me to a place where I can interact with people safely, and can get my frame upgraded, and find a crew of sailors.”
Despite stating my request clearly and even though I could feel my magic begin to flow through the Navigation Enchantment, I didn’t actually move anywhere. It seemed that some requests were either outright impossible or simply too complex for me to use to navigate. Trimming down my many goals into a single objective took a while, but after half a dozen attempts at rephrasing things I felt confident that I had something that would work.
“Take me to someone that I can interact with.”
I was somewhat nervous about having removed my safety requirement, but I hadn’t had much choice. Any attempt at finding a persona could safely talk too failed outright, even when it pulled as much magic from me as it safely could. Fortunately, the Navigation Enchantment had enough safeguards built in that it wasn’t about to destabilize itself while trying to meet my requests, but I was left knowing that any people I sought out would have to be approached and interacted with on their own merits. The free will inherent to living beings was simply too large of an obstacle when it came to divinatory navigation.
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It took half an hour of rowing down the coast before I felt the Navigation spell begin to change direction, guiding me in towards a relatively large and smooth beach. The sea itself was empty besides me, which relaxed my nerves by a large degree, and the rest of my worries began to fade as I picked up sounds from the shore.
This place wasn’t a bustling town, or even a prosperous village. There was the cheery crackling of a campfire coming from a single location on shore, and near it were a couple of people, chatting softly.
There was one more person present, splashing around in the waves, and from the amount of water his spindly legs and waist displaced I figured he was likely in his early teens. His position in the water meant that he was the first to spot me once I had made my way closer to shore.
“Look Ma, Pa! It’s a boat!”
A part of me wanted to run at being noticed, but I resisted the urge. I needed to interact with other people eventually, and it sounded like the boy would be a positive influence on any interactions I might have with his family.
“Somewhat strange that there’s no one in it, but I’ve heard of stranger things out in the Sea.” The older man, presumably the father, mused as he got up from his seat by the fire and made his way closer to his son. “Jim, I want you to stay close to me until we get a better idea of what’s going on here.”
“What’s to figure out? We needed a boat to come along and help us move, and here’s a boat. Didn’t you say things had a way of working out?”
“Not quite, son. I said that the Sea had a habit of bringing people closer to their interests. While it’s true that we are interested in finding a ship to help us travel, it’s equally true that there are all sorts of monsters out there interested in finding a nice tasty human to eat, or perhaps a crew of pirates are looking for some new slaves using this boat as a strange ruse.”
I couldn’t fault the man's paranoia, but it certainly didn't make things easy for me. In frustration I slapped my oars against the water. Both men noticed my action, and took a moment to gather their wits.
“You should apologize to it.” Jim suggested to his father, a subtle tone of vindication entering his words as he spoke.
“Just because it moved after I spoke didn’t mean it was responding to what I said.” The father protested.
I couldn’t pass up a line like that one. A quick double tap against the water sent a wave of sound rolling out before the father could build up steam again.
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“See? You can understand us, right?”
Again, I hit the water twice, already settling into this strange method of conversation. I was still a dozen or so feet away from the shore, and had begun rowing to keep myself in place. I was far enough away from these strangers that I could likely run if I needed to, but close enough that communication was clear and straightforward.
“Jim!” His father hissed. ”Stop talking to it right now.”
A single stroke ‘No’ was my answer to Jim, and was his response to his father as well. I was enjoying this strange method of communication, and suspected that my new acquaintance was as well.
“So you can’t talk, even though you can understand us? Jim prodded. I could hear his father pacing behind him, but I was far enough away to not seem threatening and was doing my best to stay as passive as possible.
YES. My oars moved.
“That's a yes, right?”
I paused. Friendly as Jim might be, he clearly wasn’t the best at establishing the boundaries of communication, and I couldn’t help much. From our previously established context there really wasn’t an answer I could give him that would actually mean anything.
Once again I hit the water with both oars, but followed it up by raising them in the air and wiggling them slightly back and forth.
“Right! Glad to have that worked out! Or was that a no? Wait a second…” Jim trailed off as he spotted my oars and reevaluated our conversation.
I heard a heavy sigh, before the father rejoined the conversation once more. “Let me help, son.” What motion do you use for ‘no’?”
A single stroke with a single oar was my response. NO.
“What do you use to say yes?” He prompted after seeing I was finished.
Both oars hit the water in quick succession. YES.
With those basics established things began to pick up. Morse code wasn’t something either I or my new friends knew, but we quickly came up with another half dozen gestures I could use, including ‘Doesn’t apply’, ‘Maybe’, and basic numbers so they could give me a choice of possible answers.
Even though our channel of communication was limited, I had nothing but time to spend, and it felt like there was something to the father’s, Adam’s, idea that we had been meant to find each other. Adam, his wife Gladys, and their son Jim were leaving their old life behind for unspecified reasons, and needed a boat to help them reach their destination. I needed human interaction, and people who I could trust. As they asked me questions and responded to my clumsy probes for information, slowly but surely fears were put to rest on both our sides.
The tipping point was when Jim asked me a question that I hadn’t been expecting.
“Do you have a name?”
I hesitated. I had a name as a human and a name as a boat, but neither of those seemed appropriate for the current situation. Ash Breeze wasn’t a terrible name, but it wasn’t really me. I was Robert, and while I didn’t mind keeping that name, I wanted to keep some degree of separation between my personal identity and the identity of the boat.”
NO. I reluctantly responded.
Gladys chipped in for the first time. “Well that just won’t do. It’s bad luck to head out on the ocean on a boat without a name. How about Lady Liberty?”
NO. My response was quick and firm this time. I was honored by the comparison, but it was far too feminine for me to readily accept it.
Adam and Gladys’ next few suggestions were little better, stuck as they were on the idea of giving me a female name. Fortunately, someone else had their own idea as for what to call me.
“How about Slappy? Since you talk using your oars and all.”
I thought over Jim’s suggestion. I didn’t love it. It wasn’t a girl's name, which was a positive, but I knew that until I got used to it I’d be looking around to see if there was a convenient clown standing nearby for the name to refer to. Still, I had no guarantee that they'd come up with anything better between them, and didn’t want to draw things out too long. I had a whole list of questions I wanted answers to, and I got the feeling that my human friends would need to head off to bed soon.
YES. My sheet was updated as soon as I agreed.
Cool!” Jim cheered. “It’s nice to officially meet you Slappy! Are you ready to help us travel to Dirint?”
“In the morning.” Adam corrected his son.
After confirming with Navigation that I was able to find the place, I weighed everything in my mind before responding.
YES. I had my next goal. Next stop, Dirint. Wherever that might be.
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