《Cultivine》Vines
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“Hello,” the California Raisins said in unison, just like how in the last couple chapters the Babylon Sisters mostly spoke in unison as well. “We’re baaaack!”
“B-But how?” Xi Logo was aghast. “I thought the California Raisins had been killed off over twenty-five years ago!”
“This is a flagrant violation of IP law, but nobody is that sure who the California Raisins actually belong to anymore, so that’s all okay. Watch one of our commericals.”
“By the light of Will Vinton, they’re finally back...” Wifey spat a swear towards the dieties of the stop-motion world.
“We’re back, and better than ever, baby. As you can see from our very old commercials, we have an extremely powerful ability to appeal to even the most hardened of anti-consumer individuals. Our Vine Magic is so OP that we were banned by an entire gaming community.”
“We’ve got to take these guys with the absolute most serious feelings,” Wifey said. “These guys have fought side-by-side with Ray Charles, hero of the Georgian Sun, and even the Temptations.”
“That’s some serious cred,” said Xi Logo, “But will we be able to defeat them if it comes to combat territory?”
“No, we can’t,” she said. “Nobody can defeat vinelings this powerful. They have marketing strength so far that it goes FAR beyond the typical powers. Even that nameless person from the last chapter would probably lose.”
“Then, let’s run?”
“Agreed.”
They ran as fast as they could away from the California Raisins, and luckily, those raisins had very low aggro so they let them go. Many others would not be so lucky.
Hahahaha just kidding they attacked.
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