It was all about the vines.

The vines were surrounding you... and the vines were within you.

Everything, in the end, was vines.

These are the things that Xi Gua Lo learned during his studies with his new girlfriend Nan Gua.

Taking very valuable time out of their adventure to sit around a campfire and do lectures (while Kiwi and Budou were just sort of absent for reasons we will later understand, I guess), the young couple explored each other a lot (sexually, I might add, but we’ll only get a second R-18 chapter if this story hits the top ten of Trending) and explored the inner workings of Vine Magic.

As you may recall, the world of Wuweizi ran on a system of Soul Crystals and Soul Magic, with Soul Palaces and Soul Quests, as well as an offhanded mention of a Soul Duel at one point. Well, all of that stuff was useless bullshit, because Vine Magic was the REAL DEAL.

Vines grew all over the place. Kudzu, for example, had the ability to ravage entire societies. One could call the Ghosthound invasion of Atlanta the human incarnation of the Great Kudzu Wars of the American South; Kudzu, however, was one of the least powerful weapons in the Vine Magic arsenal, according to Nan Gua; it grew fast and could completely engulf trees or even extremely sedentary humans (like Rip Van Winkle, if he had fallen asleep in North Georgia instead of, uh, Massachusetts or wherever that story was set), but it was not much of a threat and didn’t have the tensile strength available for all of those awesome acrobatic moves you are probably imagining in a vine-based Bionic Commando-inspired 2D platformer video game. Its mana, the aura of its xi, was simply not as strong as a lot of other types of vines.

Ivy, for example, was much better. That’s honestly all I have to say on the matter. Sorry if you thought I’d elaborate.

“Then, how do you make vines suddenly appear out of your palms like you Vinists seem to always do? Is it a part of your internal organs like the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movie incarnation, though notably not the original comic incarnation, the Ultimate Marvel incarnation, or either the Andrew Garfield or Marvel Studios incarnations of Spider-Man?”

“No, don’t be silly, little Xixi,” said Nan Gua, using Xi Gua Lo’s new pet name Xixi, which was demeaning to his family name but also really cute in a way. “We ARE vines, so we cannot produce new vines. That would mean reducing our essence and turning us into something of husks.” Her boobs jiggled while she said this and distracted Xi Gua Lo’s entire train of thought.

“This is all so new... I really want to understand about the vines on the inside and out. I want to summon my own vines.”

“Well then, let me explain by reciting line-for-line the Sacred Text of the Vinists. You will be the first non-Vinist to have ever heard these words. After you hear them, you will never be able to go back. You will permanently be a member of the Vinists and we will be forced to be married in order to make sure that you are integrated into the family.”

“You want to marry me?” he laughed as if this were some sort of silly joke.

“Yes, I do.” Nan Gua stood up from her sitting position, dusted off her pants, then knelt down on one knee. She summoned from her palms a small green vine ring that glittered like emerald. “Xi Gua Lo, will you marry me?”

“Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”