《The Chronicles of Kevin's Mistakes》Mistake #16: Monster Girls

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Kevin the Tower Manager woke up on a cot in what looked like a storage room with a bunch of barrels, crates, and shelves stacked with jars of various sizes. Confused, he tumbled ungracefully off of the uncomfortable cot and onto the cold, wooden floor.

He picked himself up and wandered around the room, looking inside the barrels and crates to find milk and baking supplies. He scratched his head, observing the room around him. "I could've sworn this wasn't here before...Whatever. Jeffrey must've done something."

There was a sliding door on the far side of the room. He opened it to find a room packed with things out the mind of a completely baked junkie.

There was a group of odd-looking creatures he somehow knew were called 'One-Stop-Shops' wearing colorful shirts squatting by wooden crates that matched their shirts. White...stuff came out of shirt cannons attached to their butts and fell into the crates. Every time one crate was filled, a mostly-naked goblin with long, stringy blonde hair―a Baker Gob―would put a lid on it and stack it by the wall. He watched one of the creatures fill up nine crates with different types of flours while another one kept pumping out several sugars into its designated crates.

He turned away from the sight, thoroughly disturbed until he saw more One-Stop-Shops standing in circles and puking milk into the very same barrels he saw in the storage room. Another identical-looking goblin to the one before was replacing the barrels every time one was filled.

Just when he thought it couldn't get worse, he saw a third identical-looking goblin to the two before scraping oil off of jogging in place One-Stop-Shops and putting it into the jars he'd seen in the storage room.

Kevin shook his head. "That is not right."

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"Hey," he called, "you three!" The goblins paused in their work, turned, and stared at him as one. "...Creepy. Uh, is this stuff you guys use to...bake things?"

"Yes, boss!" they cried.

Were these...girl goblins? How come they look so ugly? How come all of them look so ugly? I can't stand for this...

"Ugh. Come on, you guys show me where Jeffrey is. And the rest of you! Stop doing whatever you're doing and just... don't do it."

He was saluted as the goblins took him through a swinging door that led to a bustling kitchen that reeked. Cake aroma and body order did not go together.

Kevin plugged his nose and entered the kitchen to see what the stink was all about. Mostly-naked goblins scurried about, mixing stuff together and putting it in ovens. One was taste-testing a freshly baked strawberry cake, its face covered in bits of strawberry and whipped cream.

Then this weird thing with a long hose-looking nose slid over and started mopping the mess the goblin had made...with its feet.

"So gross," Kevin muttered, pushing aside the ugly creatures. "Alright, alright, out of my way you freaky gremlins. Move, move!"

The Baker Gobs in his way shuffled backward, letting him follow the triplets through and out of the stinky kitchen. What lay beyond was a small shop where a slightly less looking Baker Gob with spiky red hair was showing the orb around.

Jeffrey was pulsing bright orange as he ordered something to do his bidding.

"Hey!" Kevin cried, sensing the pitfall trap that led to the ordering counter. "Didn't I say no traps? And what's this about cake poison?"

The man in the orb groaned as the Baker Gob spun to face him.

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"No traps and no poison! Aren't you supposed to follow all my orders?"

The orb turned a deep purple.

"Still acting as if the system is a real person?"

Kevin plucked the orb from 'Raymond's hands. "Hold on a minute. Why'd you make these goblins," he gestured to the triplets who were standing idly by, "so ugly?"

<...They're goblins, Kevin. They're not made to be pretty.>

"I don't care about how they're made to be! In this Tower, my girls are going to be the hottest thing this world has ever seen!"

Jeffrey sighed as his orb pulsed a dull, muted grey.

"Ah, no," Kevin said. "Just the girls. I want them as beautiful as you can make them. And make sure to give them some height, too, so they look like normal women. I'm not some weirdo who wants to peek at little girls all day."

"What was that?"

"That's what I like to hear," Kevin smirked. He tossed the orb back to Raymond, who hastily rushed to catch it when Jeffrey squealed in alarm. "Start with the triplets first and send them back to me when you're done. I want their jugs as big as melons!"

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