《Trash Knight: System Recycler: A litRPG Satire that No One Asked For》52: The Investigation of Johnny Jigsup
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The next place to look was the palace. Obviously. The priest mentioned a foreign noble being the one to request the bounty, and since Johnny Jigsup most likely tried to swindle this noble, and because nobles like to hang out in palaces, we decided to head there next.
With any luck, we could find the noble who set the bounty and get more information, or we could at least find out what exactly happened.
I tried to tell Vil that the guy was probably already dead or gone. He worked with the mob, got tossed into the ocean. Or maybe he got the money and ran, leaving the poor girl behind. It stung thinking about that.
Vil, of course, was patient and skeptical. He said it was "too early to assume anything."
When we made it to the palace gates--really just the castle wall to the inner keep--and we found musketeer guards here, too. The gate guard challenged us, demanded to see our paperwork, and to know why we were here. Vil showed him the bounty and the sketch.
The guard squinted his eyes at the bounty paper, flipped it, looked at its back, flipped it around again, then his eyes widened. He told us to hurry in.
We did.
Inside, the gardens and greenery filled the palace courtyard. We passed bubbling fountains adorned with statues, over the perfectly chiseled stone path, up the stair--passing other aristocrats and nobles--until we waltzed right into the front doors.
It was busy here. There were diplomats from other nations milling about, members of foreign royal families, all wearing the usual upper-class fashions. Needless to say, a trash can knight with a dirty tabard and cloak stood out.
Inside the palace, the place was the definition of soft luxury. The carpets seemed to melt beneath our feet with every step, the walls glittered with gold picture frames and trophies and all sorts of historical relics. It was a wide, long hall, but Vil took a sharp left into what looked like an administrator's office.
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"Good morning," Vil said as he pulled off his hood. "Are you by chance the photomancer?"
The man who sat on the desk looked like a typical bureaucrat. Combed-over hair. Thin mustache. Thick glasses. He didn't look up from whatever he was reading. "That would be me, yes."
Vil shuffled into one of the leather seats facing him. There was another seat, but I was--what my people would call--fucking huge, so I chose to stand instead.
Vil waited for the man to stop reading, but after a minute, he continued. "We're working for the church on a bounty. We have reason to believe our target passed through here."
"Is that so?" said the bureaucrat photomancer. He sounded none too interested.
Vil waited again. The photomancer flipped the page and continued reading. "I would like to view yesterday's images to see if we can't find what we're looking for."
I had to hand it to him. Vil seemed like an excellent bounty hunter. He was methodical, clever, patient. I, on the other hand, just wanted to burst through to wherever the guy was, tearing up anything in my path. You know. The manly way.
The photomancer let out a long sigh, and without even looking up from his paper, he pulled open a nearby cabinet, rustled around in it, and drew out a fat folder. He plopped it on the desk in front of him. "There," he said. "Be quick."
Vil slid the book of photographs into his lap and started to flip through, and I looked over his shoulder. Not because I wanted to help, but because I had only heard of photomancers in passing. I knew the gist of what they did, I mean, it's why they were called photomancers in the first place, but I had never actually seen their work.
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In Vil's lap were stacks of hyper-realistic images. Black and white. Pictures of well-dressed nobles going about their business in the blinding sunlight, or in the dark rooms of the palace, sitting at tables, shaking hands, smiling at each other like politicians do. I looked closer. They were sketches. All of them. All done by hand with incredible precision.
Maybe that was the magic of it. That this photomancer was really just an expert artist who could glance at a moment, then draw it out. Was it really magic? Or was his skill so incredible that it could be mistaken for such?
"This one," Vil whispered.
I looked. Sure enough, Johnny was there, resting his arm over a pretty young lady, laughing with the rest of the people at some well-timed joke. I looked closer. That woman. Flowing blond hair. White dress. Glass of... probably champagne held daintily in her slender fingers. Her boobs were half popping out, and--
Wait a second.
I'd recognize that cleavage anywhere! It was the same woman from the cathedral! "Vil," I said.
"I know." Vil looked back at the photomancer. "Who is this woman here?" He held up the image and pointed at her.
The photomancer didn't look up. He held up his finger and did a sort of circular gesture. "Turn it over."
There was a list of names on the other side.
From left to right:
Sir John Lackey.
Honorable Barbara Hess.
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Dr. Dingo.
Prince Yuri Messer.
"The name is redacted," Vil said.
"If that is the case," said the photomancer, "then it is out of my hands."
Vil stared. The photomancer continued reading. Vil packed up the photos and set them back on the desk. "Thank you for your time."
With that, we left again. Out of the photomancer's office, through the hall, and out the palace doors.
Vil showed me the photograph again. "This woman must be the foreign noble."
I considered it. "Maybe Johnny swindled her, stole her money, and left."
"We don't know enough to say," he said.
"Well, I say we're wasting our time."
"You say a lot of things, Redrim."
"We're better off looking for work elsewhere instead of this wild chase that might not even pay out. What if he left, and we never find him? Then what? We should've just joined the arena instead."
"Then we rob the church. They tried to scam you, so they deserve it."
I chuckled at that. A metallic, manly chuckle. "Alright. Deal."
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Advent: Red Mage
Book 1 and 2 of the Redmage series are being published on Amazon Kindle Unlimited. Due to the exclusivity clause, I have been forced to take down the vast majority of the book. You can read book one here. Book two here.Drew Michalik was working in a top-secret facility in Washington, D.C. when the Advent began. As all electronics in the world simply ceased to work, blue screens filled with information appeared before him. Drew gained access to a mana interface and a limited number of reality-altering crystals called Xatherite. Following the instructions on his vision-impairing screens, he ‘slotted’ his Xatherite and changed his fate: he gained the ability to cast spells. Now alone in the dark, he must battle through the government bunker-turned-dungeon in a desperate bid for survival. Escape is only the beginning; the first of his many problems in the changed world. Drew will be tasked to not only survive… but to guide the rest of humanity safely through the anarchy. Light LitRPG elements, no harem. Updates on Monday.
8 209Ortus
A woman wakes up in a forest, naked, alone, and injured. She has nothing but a strange, black dagger and mysterious, floating, blue boxes to aid her. Can she find food and water? Survive the deadly animals? Escape the forest? Learn about the life-altering magic the boxes provide her? She has to use her wits, her knowledge, and maths to do so. But first, baby steps. She doesn't even understand the language, yet. If you see any maths mistakes or strange story decisions, leave a comment and I will either fix it or consider changing it. This is also, essentially, a first draft. That means I will edit older chapters and nothing is final, including numbers. Any major changes are listed in the changelog below each chapter. Since this is a first draft, the start is noticably bad and inconsistent compared to the more recent chapters so you will have to endure that to get to the good stuff. Rewritten version of Ortus (Old Version)
8 321Ars Magica
Our vision comes back into focus. Our eyes, while being able to perceive the immediate surroundings, still leave us with our minds uncomprehending towards what is actually occurring. Sure, there are definitive things that we can focus on, like the fact that we're either out upon the open sea or the open ocean, there not being much of a difference with no land in sight, as well as the fact that we appear to be upon a haphazardly constructed metal boat, whose seams are barely able to keep a hold of themselves in the crashing waves. However, that does not let us understand what exactly is causing the waves in the first place. If we were to rewind time, we'd find ourselves upon a calm sea under a peaceful sky with the only difference, being a small whirlpool that would be the precursor towards this uproar around the boat. Lightning flashes in the sky, with no clouds being near, and anyone actually manning the boat has either died towards the cause of the smashing tides in the first place, or are fighting amongst the flashes of lightning, all while trying not to become devoured, demolished, and utterly decimated by the beast roiling in the whirling waves. To better understand exactly what is happening here, there is one singular event that needs to be understood, that needs to be explained, and that is the arrival of a creature named Dave. Stepping back from current events and going towards this creature's first appearance in the world, we begin to hear the sound of water slowly dripping across rocky ground. The cavern is utterly silent except for this one constant, its cause feeding channels downwards, sloping towards cracks in the rubble along the floor from broken stalagmites and stalactites. And there, lying on top of something which had fallen over recently, judging from its cracks, is a person, the creature named Dave. His form is fast asleep, either from the impact or from an intoxication, judging from the smell upon its breath. A bright light suffuses into it for a second, giving life towards the pale skin, before it slowly dies down back to the comfortable black of the cave that it's within. Before this moment in time, Dave did not exist in the physical world. At least, not in the reality that he finds himself born into. We do not know whether or not his existence is simply a cosmic joke, or something that is being played out on purpose. All that we do know, is that one moment, the body was not in the cave, and simply formed in the next. The actual earliest time that we know Dave exists, is the interpolation of the memories of J-209, which we'll begin looking into shortly to gain context towards the coming narrative that is being written and hastily trying to keep itself written. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Warning: This story has several things which might turn its readers away. The first is that this story has shifting points of perspective. Don't worry about that previous sentence too much though, as the main character will always have a first person perspective associated with them. However, any other character from which we're viewing the story from will either be in third-person, as we are not necessarily in their shoes at the moment, or in first person, given that the narrator is an actual physical presence within the story. For the most part, chapters will be self-contained with their perspectives, so there will not be an abundance of switching perspectives within the same chapter. The most that an average reader would have to worry about is the fact that perspectives can switch between chapters. The second thing is that the main character is a bit on the 'special' side of things. He's not exactly mentally there most of the time, so there will be some times that his personality or his thoughts do not actively align with his actions. The third, and final thing of importance, is the fact that past the first couple of chapters, nothing has been planned in advance. There are arcs and plots that I want to do, want to implement, or have already been set into motion from our main character's introduction to the world, but the method that I use for my story writing and generating leads towards a bit more random chance being enabled. Basically...there's a lot of dice rolling behind the scenes. To not complicate the story further than its regular LitRPG elements, the rolls will not be publicly available. However, there will be knowledge within the author's notes on whether or not there were positive or negative critical rolls that had occurred within the chapter. You have been warned. Updates: Mondays & Fridays (Schedule permitting) Typical Chapter Length: (2,000-3,000)
8 107Extra Life Online
Sim and virtu modder Joel is plucked from his outland life and thrown into a hyper-enhanced reality tournament. The stakes are the highest. Battles for survival in high-immersion virtual and augmented reailties against hardened opponents seem to be for life-and death stakes, but Joel suspects it could be worse than that. Joel’s fear grow as he begins to guess what the ultimate purpose of the contest might be.
8 216The Novel's Extra's Extra
As a reader, Cristopher always looked for things that entertained him, didn't matter what the "critics" said, all that matters was his own opinion on the novel, so he started reading "The Novel's Extra", a webnovel that despicts an author who is transmigrated to his own novel. It was fun and all with its own good and bad points, really, one of his favorites novels at the end of the journey, and that's taking into account the little fact that he didn't have too many things he was able to enjoy, not in that empty shell that was called life for him... Why could someone be born like that? With a void inside, an endless void that slowly consumes oneself... But... for better or worse... everything changed one day, the same day he woke up to discover he had the same faith of the author whose novel he just finished reading, becoming an extra in a novel, becoming The novel's extra's extra... /Ok, now that's the description I thought of... first of all, for those of you who are reading this, if any, a few points I have to make clear: 1. I'm not an english native speaker, so if you find anything wrong in the text, please let me know, that would help me learn, and I would be thankful for that.2. I'm writting this out of pure "enjoyment", so while I'll try to be constant, I'll not make any promises.3. True reason why I'm writing this is because I'm going through a moderate to crippling depression right now (and no, is not because anything trully bad and horrendous happened to me, it seems to have something to do with my brain's malfuctioning, among other things), and doctors told me to try writing as I enjoy reading. So yeah, this is more like a self-help excercise, to keep myself distracted while trying to be safe from my self.4. I choose to make a fanfiction of "The Novel's Extra" as I don't trully know how to write, and because I really loved that webnovel, though there are some points I didn't particulary liked.5. If you see some (let's be clear, really much) self insertion on this series, well, that may be me trying to escape reality, to which I make an early warning and disclaimer, and also ask for forgiveness, as I said before, this is more of an excercise, so don't take it too serious.6. I'll be a slow writer, as I have to still check a few things from the novel, even when I've read it like 3 or 4 times already, and because I know shit about writing a novel or a series.7. If you get to enjoy this, then that's good, I would be glad about it, maybe even more motivated, but I don't really expect this to be any good. Thanks to you all who may, or may not, be reading this novel./
8 174Conspiracy Theories
This is going to be a book about a whole bunch of different conspiracy theories, so if you want to add on, just comment!
8 184