There is only one sun and moon. I thought it was a cliché that in alternative universes there were supposed to be more the one sun or moon. To demonstrate to however was there that the place wasn’t Earth. A way for the characters and who was reading or watching to realize that they weren't in their home planet. But me? This place has the same number of celestial bodies.

I suppose I could see if I was in Earth by watching the stars. But I never wasted a second learning about stars. I mean, who waste time studying that kind of thing in this day and age? Besides astrologers and astronomers. I was a freaking lawyer back in the day. Busy manipulating the system in favor of the 1%. I didn’t have time to pretend to care about some stars in very distant galaxies.

I only know the name of the constellations thanks to an old anime and because I once dated a crazy chick who thought a star position and the day of birth could somehow affect a person's personality. Don’t judge me, I was young and horny.

And now I’m here thinking about what a couple of talking Corgis told while being watch by a weird deer that thinks it's a dog. What did they told me? I'm in a new world or a different Earth? I was busy been confused to pay to attention!

Does even matter? Know where I’m? It’s not like is going to change anything. Knowing would help me feeling in control of the situation. The Corgi Gods know that I need some sense of control. But wouldn't change my current situation in anything.

My brilliant plan to revolutionize the island's economy went to shit. The bald guy just went and created some form of tyranny based on the production of metals and fishing. Or maybe I could say that he created a dictatorship form through control of the means of production and class division.

All that we need is a tax break for the super wealth and we are good to go. Where I wouldn't know, but certainly not to a good place.

But perhaps it was for the best. My plan was counting with everyone thinking about the good of the community and not being greedy. The whole place would be in flames in a matter of days.

I was convict that I would make a difference and start some improvements here. How would I possibly know there is a huge class division here? If I paid more attention to the social economic realities of my own community, I would know.

But why I would waste my time studying the place where I’m going to live my whole life. When I’m busy think if today is Wednesday so I can say “ today is Wednesday my dudes”.

By the Corgi Gods, is today Wednesday? Would eat me alive to say out loud if today was Monday. I could never forgive myself, just the idea of commuting such sacrilege…

Why I'm thinking this? Because thinking about useless stuff is a great way to scape the real world. Instead of think about the big problems of my life and deal with the fact that I have zero to none power, I run to my safe space and try to deal if subjects that I think I have some control.

If there is't enough food to eat or I'm desperate because I have no control over my life? Start to torturing yourself about which day of the week it’s, so you can use a meme in your mind. A meme that you didn’t even like that much and never took the trouble to look the meaning.

Because that’s what sane people do. Scape from problem’s and then complain that you wasn’t ready to deal with it.

But I need to see the positive side of the situation. Yes, I’m still leaving in denial of my situation, but I started to take control of my life, sure, I miserable failed my first couple of attempts.

But it’s better to try and fail them stay in my little world completed cut off from reality. Small steps, no need to try to run before I can walk. I was too aggressive, going for something to big and unrealistic.

Maybe that’s my problem, I always try some incredible plan without thinking on the consequences or even if the plan is feasible. And when the plan fails I just blame everything on the stupid people around me and just give up.

First I got angry when I started to give my opinion and the people around me just pretend that didn’t heard me in the best case or just beat me in the worst. I just considered them to be a bunch of buffoons, but here I’m just a kid.

Even back home when a child would give his opinion to me, I would never pay any kind of attention. It would never pass by my mind to actually hear a child consul about any subject.

Of course people around me act like I should just shut up and pay more attention to my elders. I needed that to understand how the village works and how the community exist. Before given my opinion.

Second, when I tried to manipulate the bald guy, I did managed to get him to build the boats after lying to him. But I didn't consider the implications until much later. How stupid was to create more tense between two persons that hate each other passionately?

Just there, I could have caused a murder, fortunately it didn’t happen. But that was more luck than anything.

And lastly, when I went to explain my plain. I never stopped to try to understand the nuances of the village life and how the labor division caused a enormous rift between fishers and farmers.

If my plan had been put to practice, the gap between the two classes would explode. Farmers would continue to have no improvement while the fishermen would grow very wealth. Which would exacerbate the tensions.

The bald guy probably didn’t realize, but by controlling the distribution and paying for the farmers work, he stopped the wealth gap from widening. Sure, he is gaining the most in the deal, but he is ensuring that some of the crumbs goes to those who need it most.

Or maybe he saw the problem and used the situation to fix it. It wouldn’t be smart to continue to underestimate him, after realizing the problem he solved with some speed.

I have no position here, why would they follow everything that I said? That would be weirder than anything. Need to have some status in here before I can try some real progress.

It’s also important to actually understand this place, I need to stop thinking they are band of Neanderthals with no culture or complex society. That I just need to do some magic tricks and people will worship me like a God.

And I need to consider that wherever I introduce may cause a severe impact. It was a huge surprise to me how much the farmers hated the fishermen, which if I had stopped to study this place dynamics it wouldn’t be.

The island has very poor agricultural land. Fishing should be more predominant but without decent wood in the island there is no way to build more ships. How the hell this people even got here?

As usual I’m getting off track here. Maybe in the future I could try to study how people started to living here. But today my priority is to understand the current political situation not to make a in depth study of the island and the history of its inhabitants.

I’ve always had the means to learn that kind of stuff without pissing people off, but I just refused to see it. All that I needed was to ask Natali! Why I was being so misogynistic? In the last few months since returning from building the boats I have been talking to her a lot.

There is a lot of completely useless stuff, but there are some important facts inside the village gossip. Which there is a lot considering that we live pretty isolated. There is plenty of intrigue, infidelity and betray.

Take for example Guilherme, the bald guy right arm. His wife was sleeping with one of the fishermen, I think the guy’s name was Kaynan, so the family could have a better deal when bargain for fish.

Guilherme wasn’t happy with the situation, but his plot of land is one of the worst on the island and that was the only way to feed his family. He did try to convince Carlos to get some better grain to plant with the pirates, but he refused to even try. Not sure because he thought would be impossible or he just didn’t see much profit for him.

Anyway, Guilherme hates with a passion Carlos and all the fishermen. So when the bald guy gave to him the opportunity to help supervise the guy who has banging his wife, he start doing his job with zealotry.

Funny fact, Natali dosen’t hate or despite the Guilherme’s wife, it’s the opposite, she is always saying how hard work Roberta is and how the other women could learn a thing or two from her.

But she does hate women who cheat on their husbands for pleasure, which there is a lot, I mean Mexican soap opera a lot. Which is kind of surprising considering the island’s small population.

I think the reason is the fact there isn’t much entertainment here, cheating on your spouse is the only kind of fun these people can have. But don’t even think this is some kind of hippie community where love is free.

There is a lot of fights and domestic violence thanks to that. Carlos’s job is basically keeping people from murdering each other out of jealousy, the whole trading with the outside world is kind of a side job. He first job is to keep angry husbands from murdering their wives or neighbors.

The worst part of all this is that instead of watching all this drama, I've been busy feeling sorry for myself. I could have at least tried to feel sorry for my situation and have watched the drama at the same time! There was no need to choose just one.

I get up and Pepita looks excited, she thinks that I’m going to pet her, clever girl that was exactly what I was planing to do. Her fur is so fluffy, this is the kind of stuff that makes life worth living. Boy I needed this.

-“The bald guy didn’t let me out of his sight for months. Sorry for leaving you alone for so long. Did you miss me?”

No answer, but she looks like is enjoying being pet, so I will assume she did missed me a lot. One of my therapist said that talking about a problem is the first step of fixing it, maybe I should try that.

-“How is life treating you lately? Anything interesting happing in crazy deer world? Did you find I reason to exist?”

She won’t continue the conversation so I better pretend to be her if a want someone to talk.

-“What is going on in my life? Not much, doing crazy deer/dog stuff most of the time, while waiting for you to come. And you?”

-“Really? That’s nice. Not much going on with me too. Family doing fine, Rita is marrying to some poor bastard, can you believe it? And I’m trying to better understand myself and the people around me.”

-“That’s a big improvement. Finally getting your shit together. I’m happy about Rita she deserves to start her own family. Bald guy and Natali must be happy about the weeding.”

-“Thanks. Fun fact, there aren’t. Bald guy is upset that some evil doer is getting his daughter and doesn’t stop complain about how useless he is and how she deserves better. Natali is just angry that she took such a big decision without talking to her.”

-“Family life is complicated. But just the fact that you are paying attention is a improvement.”

Ok, this is stupid even to me. And you are talking to the guy who once believed that the he would live to see his soccer team get their shit together and win the national championship again.[1]

Tonight, will be the weeding of Rita so the bald guy gave to me the day off. I considered offering to help with the preparations, but with the cold war between Natali and Rita and the bald guy clearly out for blood, I decided to pass my day in the woods for old time’s sake.

It’s only been a few hours since I got here and normally I could spend a whole day here. Realizing only that was time to return when was getting dark. Now I feel like I should be doing some real work instead of taking a nap.

The bald guy bad habits are finally getting to me or perhaps just like a animal he trained me to always try to be productive. How low have I fall? Nevertheless, I can’t go home

With the weeding’s preparations they will immediately put me to work like there is no tomorrow while yelling and complain that I’m not working hard enough.

I should go explore the island a little, maybe there is some resources that are not being used or some old ruins about a ancient civilization. Worst case scenario I will know more about the place that I will pass the rest of my life.

Then a realization hits me, by the Corgi Gods, I’m going to die in this Corgi forsake island. I always knew that in a intellectual level but this is the first time that I understand on an emotional one.

This shit hole will be my grave. I will never return to civilization or my family, I’m doomed to stay here. Fuck.

[1] My soccer time is Santos FC and besides been broke as fuck and selling players to pay off debts, this year we are fighting not to go to the second division, we won some important tournaments in the last decade but the last national championship was in 2004. Interestingly, our mascot is a whale but the team nickname is “Fish”, I know that whales are not fish but mammals, it’s a team mascot there is no need to be biological correct. Maybe that’s why there is so much fish talk in the first Ark.